Barry looked up at his surroundings. They were in the main hall of the
mansion. Many different portraits of gothic looking houses, monsters, and
merry-go rounds hung on the walls along with many conveniently lit candles.
A large set or red carpeted stairs leading to a second floor sat
perpendicular to the front door.
"What is this place?" Barry asked
Wesker wanted to shoot Barry in the ass right there and then for that question, but his negative view of cleaning up blood kept him from it. He simply replied, "Not your ordinary house, that's for sure."
Chris made a round of the hall, examining various old expensive looking objects.
"Hey, Wesker, where's Chris?" Jill piped in
"I'm back here." Chris replied from a small hallway that lay under the main stairway.
Wesker, who was beginning to leave the main hall in hopes of finding a dressing room or vanity mirror or some such turned around and replied with just as much concern as Jill, "Don't know don't care bitch."
"Wesker, you fucker, I'm two feet to your right." Chris called out rather offended
"Hey about you two go fuck off and find him," a single gunshot from within the mansion sounded. "or better yet go investigate that, smell ya later." with that he exited
"Whatever," Jill said greatfully flipping him a bird, "Barry let's go."
"I think we should split up." he replied
Jill casually tossed her survival knife at his left knee, it missed barely.
"Coming!" Barry declared cheerfully
Using standard STARS procedure, Jill opened a set of double doors at the west end of the hall, bravely letting Barry through first.
"All clear." he announced
It was the dining room. This was accentuated out by the twenty-five foot long table that took up most of the room. Each place along its length was set ready for dinner. It looked to be a rather large dinner too.
"Its...a....dining room...Jill."
"Is it really?" she asked rolling her eyes.
Barry stared blankly.
"Jill...I...think...we...should...split...up."
"What? Why?"
"I...think...we...should...split...up."
"Fine, you run down that side of the table and I'll go down this side."
Barry jogged to the opposite sid o f the table, stopped and readied himself for this daunting task and began running with a passion along the length of the table a glint of fire in his eye the whole way.
Chris sauntered in the door at this point, hoping that Barry and Jill would have something more interesting at hand. He had followed Wesker for a bit, but Wesker eventually found a bathroom, killed its ocuppant, and started fondling his hair. His own hair, not the occupant's, though his oppopant's could use some work too. Redfield wondered why Jill and Barry were running down opposite sides of the room, completely scrapping the idea of watching each others backs.
"Variety must be what they're aiming for," he said outloud to himself, "I guess its not a bad idea..." he jumped onto the table and strolled down it to the end of the dining room."
At the back of the room was a large wooden fireplace, with all the manner of ornaments over it and a fresh fire crackling in the hearth. Burton stopped and kneeled by it examining the floor as Valentine approached him.
Chris picked up a dinner plate and gave it a friendly tossed at the back of Barry's head. It shattered into several hundred pieces making a considerable racket. When this failed to get anyone's attention Chris sighed, hopped off the table and looked over Barry's shoulder. Barry was poking a puddle of blood on the floor.
"What...is...this? Blood!" Harvard's missed opportunity announced
Chris sighed in disgust took the tongs from the fireplace, picked up a piece of flaming wood and dropped it in the back of Barry's pants. If there was one thing Chris couldn't stand it was when people immediately answered their own questions after asking them.
"It would seem so..." Jill said eyes locked on him still perplexed at the sudden increase of gravity that had been applied to her partner's IQ
"Someone...must be bleeding!"
"It does seeming that way doesn't it." Chris said, just for the hell of it
"Jill, you investigate around. I'll...be here...investigating...this." Barry suggested
"What the hell are you talking about? Its a fucking puddle of fucking blood, what's there to investigate? I don't think their fucking BAC matters anymore." she responded
Barry gave the blank stare.
"Fine, investgate the fucking blood, Barry." she said turning to leave and uttering several cutting remarks about his new speech mannerism
Well at least she hasn't gotten any dumber, Chris thought.
Jill walked out the north door of the dining room. Chris followed and stood in the hall outside of the doorway. He watched her make her way up the hall then tunred to look at Barry who was currently having a ball watching the ripples his hand made in the blood form then recede. A maniacal grin across his face.
As Chris turned his attention back to the hallway Jill came bounding back into the dining room breathless.
"BARRY," she yelped, "Kenneth is dead!"
"What...is...this?" he replied
"By that THING!" she said pointing a finger in Chris's direction
"Oh thank you very much and i suppose next you'll blame me for global warming." Chris retorted
Chris jumped back rather shocked at the sight man who had obviously not kept proper maintenance of himself up for quite some time now hobbling through the doorway in a determined pursuit of Jill. Although the pursuit was neither a swift or effective one at all Chris still had to give it a pat on the back for effort.
Most of the flesh from the person's face was missing which hadn't spooked Chris or Barry, after all when you worked for Albert Wesker and saw his bad mood swings you got used to gruesome P.D.Q. The discoloration of the skin wasn't impressive either since being holed up in a place like this was bound to affect your complextion at some point. The hobbling shuffle which it was engaging in was to be expected also as the massive testicle growth from lack of discharged semen could impair walking since it was very obvious that this guy hadn't seen any action since around the time J. Edgar Hoover took office.
The creature shuffled, arms extended toward Barry, who was staring blankly, but quite intensely though.
Jill attempted to help by calling out Burton's name in a rather distressed manner, but it didn't seem to affect the situation.
Chris was the first to attempt something even slightly logical. He unloaded several roads into the man's spinal cord.
This caused it stumble into Barry even faster. It did appeared that our dear friend was done for.
Unfortunately for the extra momentum caused the creature to fling its forehead full force into Barry's sold chrome cranium, creating a dent in its own forehead the size which is usually reserved victims of hammer murderers and baseball size hail. It reeled for several seconds then resumed its path to the promised land of Barry's thick as a tree trunk neck.
A reaction of extreme shock registered across the faces of Chris and Jill, who knew that anything colliding with the mass of reenforced granite fortress that was Barry's head was bound to be down for the count like Wesker's mother in an episode of Oz.
A reaction of ungodly misunderstanding of the situation at hand registered all over Barry. A huge grin slowly enveloped his entire face in much the same manner that Hitler taking over Europe did. In a startlingly accurate display Barry began approaching this new friend in an almost mirror like manner. As the two converged the creature wrapped its arms around Barry sunk its teeth quite forcefully into his neck. Completely ignoring the fact that bodily physics said he should be in screaming agony Barry also puts his arms around the creature and hugged it.
While this was going on Chris was staring in horror. Jill was still calling out Barry's name in overdrive. Barry was happy. The creature (which we will henceforeth be refered to as a "zombie") was quite happy too.
Wow, what have the STARS gotten themselves into? Tune next week for either, "The Big One Bites Barry" or "Dead Crush"
PEACEAGE!
"What is this place?" Barry asked
Wesker wanted to shoot Barry in the ass right there and then for that question, but his negative view of cleaning up blood kept him from it. He simply replied, "Not your ordinary house, that's for sure."
Chris made a round of the hall, examining various old expensive looking objects.
"Hey, Wesker, where's Chris?" Jill piped in
"I'm back here." Chris replied from a small hallway that lay under the main stairway.
Wesker, who was beginning to leave the main hall in hopes of finding a dressing room or vanity mirror or some such turned around and replied with just as much concern as Jill, "Don't know don't care bitch."
"Wesker, you fucker, I'm two feet to your right." Chris called out rather offended
"Hey about you two go fuck off and find him," a single gunshot from within the mansion sounded. "or better yet go investigate that, smell ya later." with that he exited
"Whatever," Jill said greatfully flipping him a bird, "Barry let's go."
"I think we should split up." he replied
Jill casually tossed her survival knife at his left knee, it missed barely.
"Coming!" Barry declared cheerfully
Using standard STARS procedure, Jill opened a set of double doors at the west end of the hall, bravely letting Barry through first.
"All clear." he announced
It was the dining room. This was accentuated out by the twenty-five foot long table that took up most of the room. Each place along its length was set ready for dinner. It looked to be a rather large dinner too.
"Its...a....dining room...Jill."
"Is it really?" she asked rolling her eyes.
Barry stared blankly.
"Jill...I...think...we...should...split...up."
"What? Why?"
"I...think...we...should...split...up."
"Fine, you run down that side of the table and I'll go down this side."
Barry jogged to the opposite sid o f the table, stopped and readied himself for this daunting task and began running with a passion along the length of the table a glint of fire in his eye the whole way.
Chris sauntered in the door at this point, hoping that Barry and Jill would have something more interesting at hand. He had followed Wesker for a bit, but Wesker eventually found a bathroom, killed its ocuppant, and started fondling his hair. His own hair, not the occupant's, though his oppopant's could use some work too. Redfield wondered why Jill and Barry were running down opposite sides of the room, completely scrapping the idea of watching each others backs.
"Variety must be what they're aiming for," he said outloud to himself, "I guess its not a bad idea..." he jumped onto the table and strolled down it to the end of the dining room."
At the back of the room was a large wooden fireplace, with all the manner of ornaments over it and a fresh fire crackling in the hearth. Burton stopped and kneeled by it examining the floor as Valentine approached him.
Chris picked up a dinner plate and gave it a friendly tossed at the back of Barry's head. It shattered into several hundred pieces making a considerable racket. When this failed to get anyone's attention Chris sighed, hopped off the table and looked over Barry's shoulder. Barry was poking a puddle of blood on the floor.
"What...is...this? Blood!" Harvard's missed opportunity announced
Chris sighed in disgust took the tongs from the fireplace, picked up a piece of flaming wood and dropped it in the back of Barry's pants. If there was one thing Chris couldn't stand it was when people immediately answered their own questions after asking them.
"It would seem so..." Jill said eyes locked on him still perplexed at the sudden increase of gravity that had been applied to her partner's IQ
"Someone...must be bleeding!"
"It does seeming that way doesn't it." Chris said, just for the hell of it
"Jill, you investigate around. I'll...be here...investigating...this." Barry suggested
"What the hell are you talking about? Its a fucking puddle of fucking blood, what's there to investigate? I don't think their fucking BAC matters anymore." she responded
Barry gave the blank stare.
"Fine, investgate the fucking blood, Barry." she said turning to leave and uttering several cutting remarks about his new speech mannerism
Well at least she hasn't gotten any dumber, Chris thought.
Jill walked out the north door of the dining room. Chris followed and stood in the hall outside of the doorway. He watched her make her way up the hall then tunred to look at Barry who was currently having a ball watching the ripples his hand made in the blood form then recede. A maniacal grin across his face.
As Chris turned his attention back to the hallway Jill came bounding back into the dining room breathless.
"BARRY," she yelped, "Kenneth is dead!"
"What...is...this?" he replied
"By that THING!" she said pointing a finger in Chris's direction
"Oh thank you very much and i suppose next you'll blame me for global warming." Chris retorted
Chris jumped back rather shocked at the sight man who had obviously not kept proper maintenance of himself up for quite some time now hobbling through the doorway in a determined pursuit of Jill. Although the pursuit was neither a swift or effective one at all Chris still had to give it a pat on the back for effort.
Most of the flesh from the person's face was missing which hadn't spooked Chris or Barry, after all when you worked for Albert Wesker and saw his bad mood swings you got used to gruesome P.D.Q. The discoloration of the skin wasn't impressive either since being holed up in a place like this was bound to affect your complextion at some point. The hobbling shuffle which it was engaging in was to be expected also as the massive testicle growth from lack of discharged semen could impair walking since it was very obvious that this guy hadn't seen any action since around the time J. Edgar Hoover took office.
The creature shuffled, arms extended toward Barry, who was staring blankly, but quite intensely though.
Jill attempted to help by calling out Burton's name in a rather distressed manner, but it didn't seem to affect the situation.
Chris was the first to attempt something even slightly logical. He unloaded several roads into the man's spinal cord.
This caused it stumble into Barry even faster. It did appeared that our dear friend was done for.
Unfortunately for the extra momentum caused the creature to fling its forehead full force into Barry's sold chrome cranium, creating a dent in its own forehead the size which is usually reserved victims of hammer murderers and baseball size hail. It reeled for several seconds then resumed its path to the promised land of Barry's thick as a tree trunk neck.
A reaction of extreme shock registered across the faces of Chris and Jill, who knew that anything colliding with the mass of reenforced granite fortress that was Barry's head was bound to be down for the count like Wesker's mother in an episode of Oz.
A reaction of ungodly misunderstanding of the situation at hand registered all over Barry. A huge grin slowly enveloped his entire face in much the same manner that Hitler taking over Europe did. In a startlingly accurate display Barry began approaching this new friend in an almost mirror like manner. As the two converged the creature wrapped its arms around Barry sunk its teeth quite forcefully into his neck. Completely ignoring the fact that bodily physics said he should be in screaming agony Barry also puts his arms around the creature and hugged it.
While this was going on Chris was staring in horror. Jill was still calling out Barry's name in overdrive. Barry was happy. The creature (which we will henceforeth be refered to as a "zombie") was quite happy too.
Wow, what have the STARS gotten themselves into? Tune next week for either, "The Big One Bites Barry" or "Dead Crush"
PEACEAGE!