"THE KENDO HAIR SALON MOTHERFUCKER! I WANT TO PUT A CALL THROUGH TO
THE KENDO HAIR SALON AND GUN SHOP, ITS NOT A TALL FUCKING ORDER, EVEN BARRY
COULD DO IT!"
"I'm sorry Captain Wesker, but this is a police radio and therefore it can only operate communications between locations that have a police radio." said the man behind the police radio.
Static began take over the transmission.
"Hold on bitch I'll be back to deal with you in just a minute."
Wesker switched his radio to different station, another transmission came through.
"This is Richard Aiken of the STARS Bravo team," Aiken sounded rather concerned Wesker noticed, "if anyone is in the vicinity of the old mansion in Raccoon Forest, PLEASE, your assistance is needed. This place is a killing zone and most of the team has been wiped out. I am under attack right now by what appears to be a giant cobra. REPEAT THIS IS AN SOS GOING OUT TO ANYONE EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH BATTLE IN THE VICINITY OF THE SPENSER MANSION! THE STARS BRAVO TEAM HAS BEEN---!"
"Aiken this is Wesker."
"Captain Wesker, thank god--"
"Yes, quite. Listen Aiken, I'm glad to announce that you've just been promoted. With your new rank and strength of will I am very sure you can deal with whatever is going on. I'll be going now because my gel is cracking and my hair is beginning to split into multiple strands, I was in the middle of an important call just now."
"BUT CAPTAIN WESKER! I'M DIRE NEED OF--!"
"A hairstylist, I know, but being a superior officer I'm afraid I stand in line before you. In the future please try not use the radio for anything other than emergency calls, apparently something strange is going on in this place. Watch your ass kid, Wesker out."
Wesker cut Aiken off and switched back to the dispatch. Wesker had full confidence in every member of his STARS team, even though he hated every last one of them. He was sure that if Aiken kept a stiff upper lip that he could tough out whatever situation he was in.
"This is Wesker again. I've had it with your defiance. I've commanded this unit for 12 years and I think I deserve the respect that come with the prestige of this title. When I give an order I expect it done. Get someone from the Kendo Hair Salon and Gun shop over here A.S.A.P. or I'll make your new supervisor Rebecca fucking Chambers. WESKER OUT!"
"And this is where the bullets come out of--" BLAM! "Oops." Barry said
Chris slapped his forehead and walked out of the dining room, his destination unknown.
The zombie had been happily gnawing on Barry's neck for several minutes. At some point Barry had decided that he should get to know this creature better so had sat in a chair and started showing it his various pieces of equipment. When he got to displaying his magnum he decided to show the barrel first pointing it directly at the zombie's head. Barry had no inttention of harm, but slipped off the chair causing the gun to fire, obliterating the undead man's cramnium in the process. This chain of events led to its current state, which was quite dead once again.
"Well, that's that's," Jill said slapping her thighs and standing up, "let's go."
She looked back one more time at Barry who was pushing around the remains of his ex-new best friend with the fire poker.
"What is this?" he wondered out loud
"Fuck him." she declared to herself and off she went on her merry way.
Chris flopped over a hope chest that had been biding its time sitting in the middle of the hallway. This place had enough hazards that the only logical advice one could heed safely was dive for cover, which he had inadvertly done and very luckily so. He looked up at the ceiling in time to see a zombie hound whisk its way through the space his body had occupied quite recently. Having seen more of these things than skulls attached to sticks in Wesker's office by now, the appearance of a single one seem so ho- hum compared to it an hour ago. Bullet to the back of the cranium and Chris was set to continue searching.
Jill tried the door. The door was locked. Though it looked disused this house had many signs of habitation. If this was an abandoned mansion it was a very bad one. She opened one of the compartments attached to her belt and removed the lockpick that Barry had given to her. Being Barry he had named the thing and had it engraved as well. Engraved meaning that he dug a paperclip into the side of it until the words, "The Master of Unlocking," sat beaten and broken on it.
The door opened to reveal a well polished hallway. Into the unknown our friend Jill Valentine strode.
Who cares where Wesker was?
So many doors on the upper floor of the main hall. Chris was spinning wildily in place. He suddenly stopped facing the direction which may or may not have been southeast, fired a shot from his handgun, and removed the blindfold. He found where the bullet had landed in the wall and opened the door closest to it hoping to find something interesting behind it.
He emerged in yet another hallway, this one with blue carpeting and gray paint peeling off of the walls. Ahead sat two potted plants both about a foot tall one with green leaves and the other with red leaves. Next to them was another pot this one empty and twice the size of the others. Chris heard scratching eminating from the branch of the hall ahead to the right. He hugged the east wall and slid his way forward. The shotgun he had found twenty minutes before with the barrel shoved halfway down the toilet drain was tied to the back of his combat vest. He removed it, leveled the barrel, and swung it around the corner.
There was a 6 foot tall uprooted blue plant marching its way in a comical fashion toward Chris. It spoke.
"Hello...Chris."
Shocked by the sight and sound of mobile foliage Chris jumped three directly backward crushing the red plant under his feet. He pumped his weapon and fired it reducing the sentient flora to sentient flora dust partcles. Chris felt a bit deplorable for such an action in retrospect as the plant had done nothing more than greet him.
Through the blue powder came the voice again.
"Hello...Chris." Barry walked through the debris.
Chris boggled at him.
"Barry, could you tell me why you were marching up and down that hall carrying what used to be that strangely discolored piece of horticulture?" he asked calmly after beating his composure back into submission.
Barry stared blankly
"Okay let me try start with something simpler. Barry can you see me?"
One of the rusty fucking wheels in Barry's head finally managed ot heave itself a notch clockwise causing a high pitched creek to echo thorugh the hall. Barry grinned and nodded stupidly at Chris.
"Ok good start. Now why have you and Jill been ignoring me?"
Blank stare.
"Think about it for awhile," Chris said giving up, "come on let's see if we can find a way out of here."
"I think...we should...split up." Mr. Burton replied
"Why?"
They walked for ten feet before... "Chris...you go ahead...I'll be here...investigating this!" Barry kneeled down and started examining a slightly bent nail in the bottom of the wall.
"I'm sorry Captain Wesker, but this is a police radio and therefore it can only operate communications between locations that have a police radio." said the man behind the police radio.
Static began take over the transmission.
"Hold on bitch I'll be back to deal with you in just a minute."
Wesker switched his radio to different station, another transmission came through.
"This is Richard Aiken of the STARS Bravo team," Aiken sounded rather concerned Wesker noticed, "if anyone is in the vicinity of the old mansion in Raccoon Forest, PLEASE, your assistance is needed. This place is a killing zone and most of the team has been wiped out. I am under attack right now by what appears to be a giant cobra. REPEAT THIS IS AN SOS GOING OUT TO ANYONE EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH BATTLE IN THE VICINITY OF THE SPENSER MANSION! THE STARS BRAVO TEAM HAS BEEN---!"
"Aiken this is Wesker."
"Captain Wesker, thank god--"
"Yes, quite. Listen Aiken, I'm glad to announce that you've just been promoted. With your new rank and strength of will I am very sure you can deal with whatever is going on. I'll be going now because my gel is cracking and my hair is beginning to split into multiple strands, I was in the middle of an important call just now."
"BUT CAPTAIN WESKER! I'M DIRE NEED OF--!"
"A hairstylist, I know, but being a superior officer I'm afraid I stand in line before you. In the future please try not use the radio for anything other than emergency calls, apparently something strange is going on in this place. Watch your ass kid, Wesker out."
Wesker cut Aiken off and switched back to the dispatch. Wesker had full confidence in every member of his STARS team, even though he hated every last one of them. He was sure that if Aiken kept a stiff upper lip that he could tough out whatever situation he was in.
"This is Wesker again. I've had it with your defiance. I've commanded this unit for 12 years and I think I deserve the respect that come with the prestige of this title. When I give an order I expect it done. Get someone from the Kendo Hair Salon and Gun shop over here A.S.A.P. or I'll make your new supervisor Rebecca fucking Chambers. WESKER OUT!"
"And this is where the bullets come out of--" BLAM! "Oops." Barry said
Chris slapped his forehead and walked out of the dining room, his destination unknown.
The zombie had been happily gnawing on Barry's neck for several minutes. At some point Barry had decided that he should get to know this creature better so had sat in a chair and started showing it his various pieces of equipment. When he got to displaying his magnum he decided to show the barrel first pointing it directly at the zombie's head. Barry had no inttention of harm, but slipped off the chair causing the gun to fire, obliterating the undead man's cramnium in the process. This chain of events led to its current state, which was quite dead once again.
"Well, that's that's," Jill said slapping her thighs and standing up, "let's go."
She looked back one more time at Barry who was pushing around the remains of his ex-new best friend with the fire poker.
"What is this?" he wondered out loud
"Fuck him." she declared to herself and off she went on her merry way.
Chris flopped over a hope chest that had been biding its time sitting in the middle of the hallway. This place had enough hazards that the only logical advice one could heed safely was dive for cover, which he had inadvertly done and very luckily so. He looked up at the ceiling in time to see a zombie hound whisk its way through the space his body had occupied quite recently. Having seen more of these things than skulls attached to sticks in Wesker's office by now, the appearance of a single one seem so ho- hum compared to it an hour ago. Bullet to the back of the cranium and Chris was set to continue searching.
Jill tried the door. The door was locked. Though it looked disused this house had many signs of habitation. If this was an abandoned mansion it was a very bad one. She opened one of the compartments attached to her belt and removed the lockpick that Barry had given to her. Being Barry he had named the thing and had it engraved as well. Engraved meaning that he dug a paperclip into the side of it until the words, "The Master of Unlocking," sat beaten and broken on it.
The door opened to reveal a well polished hallway. Into the unknown our friend Jill Valentine strode.
Who cares where Wesker was?
So many doors on the upper floor of the main hall. Chris was spinning wildily in place. He suddenly stopped facing the direction which may or may not have been southeast, fired a shot from his handgun, and removed the blindfold. He found where the bullet had landed in the wall and opened the door closest to it hoping to find something interesting behind it.
He emerged in yet another hallway, this one with blue carpeting and gray paint peeling off of the walls. Ahead sat two potted plants both about a foot tall one with green leaves and the other with red leaves. Next to them was another pot this one empty and twice the size of the others. Chris heard scratching eminating from the branch of the hall ahead to the right. He hugged the east wall and slid his way forward. The shotgun he had found twenty minutes before with the barrel shoved halfway down the toilet drain was tied to the back of his combat vest. He removed it, leveled the barrel, and swung it around the corner.
There was a 6 foot tall uprooted blue plant marching its way in a comical fashion toward Chris. It spoke.
"Hello...Chris."
Shocked by the sight and sound of mobile foliage Chris jumped three directly backward crushing the red plant under his feet. He pumped his weapon and fired it reducing the sentient flora to sentient flora dust partcles. Chris felt a bit deplorable for such an action in retrospect as the plant had done nothing more than greet him.
Through the blue powder came the voice again.
"Hello...Chris." Barry walked through the debris.
Chris boggled at him.
"Barry, could you tell me why you were marching up and down that hall carrying what used to be that strangely discolored piece of horticulture?" he asked calmly after beating his composure back into submission.
Barry stared blankly
"Okay let me try start with something simpler. Barry can you see me?"
One of the rusty fucking wheels in Barry's head finally managed ot heave itself a notch clockwise causing a high pitched creek to echo thorugh the hall. Barry grinned and nodded stupidly at Chris.
"Ok good start. Now why have you and Jill been ignoring me?"
Blank stare.
"Think about it for awhile," Chris said giving up, "come on let's see if we can find a way out of here."
"I think...we should...split up." Mr. Burton replied
"Why?"
They walked for ten feet before... "Chris...you go ahead...I'll be here...investigating this!" Barry kneeled down and started examining a slightly bent nail in the bottom of the wall.