One Last Breath
~By: Lauren~
D R O P L E T S
O F
R A I N
As soon as Meimi ate her breakfast, she was rushed to a church were she endured family friends hugging her, people talking about her parents, and thousands of tears. Yet none were her own. Then she was called up to make a speech about her parents. No one had told her that, not even Aunt Sally. Meimi had a feeling Aunt Sally was plotting against her and had conveniently forgotten about Meimi making a speech. Meimi took a deep breath as she stood up, feeling her sore legs rejoice for having been allowed to move. She stepped up to a wooden box in which a microphone was protruding out. In the mass of people she spotted Seira and Asuka Jr. It seemed strange that he was there but then again, since Meimi knew he had been there at the accident, it was only right that he attended. For a second she wondered if he was there to support her but that hope was shot down with another thought. Maybe the only reason he was there was because he was hoping Saint Tail would show up since she had caused the accident. Pushing back those ideas, Meimi closed her eyes then opened them, facing the crowd before her. She didn't think her parents even knew that many people or had that many relatives.
"Two great people lay before us.." She couldn't turn around. Directly behind her were the two coffins. Two wooden boxes holding everything that meant anything to her. "They brought me up as a child and into my teenager years.enduring many headaches, cries, complaints, aches and pains for me. But along with that.we had many great times filled with laughter, joy, and tears of happiness.times that are now gone. The only thing that seems appropriate at this moment are tears. I wish my father could perform some kind of magic and make everything be alright but he can't and neither can I.the only thing I can truly say is that I love these two people. I love them with every single part of my body, every single fiber in myself and I can't stand it that they are gone. All because some idiot caused them to crash their car." Meimi silently felt her heart shattering even more. She had been that idiot. "If they were here at this very moment they would tell everyone to stop crying and get on with their lives.they would say how much they cared about each and every one of us. So listen to their words in your heart.may they forever be in peace up in heaven.watching down upon us." And then Meimi couldn't speak anymore. No more private words would escape her mouth and be exposed into the church. Meimi nodded that she was done then ran down into her safe haven, buried in the people on a large oak bench as they all bowed their heads in prayer.
The next thing Meimi knew she was at the cemetery with two coffins sitting next to each other. The clouds above her opened up as the pitter-patter of rain filled her ears. The gray clouds above her seemed to sense her pain as rain traveled down to the earth, soaking the ground around her. Turning the dirt into mud. The tear-shaped drops of water rolled off Meimi's black umbrella and then onto the grass. A few lone lilies were sprouting around the two marble headstones that now had her parent's name engraved in them. Making it permanent. Announcing they were officially dead.
Meimi was not crying. She wanted to, and felt all the symptoms of sobbing within her, but it was as if her tears were given to the clouds and were shed along with the pouring rain. The ground was soaked beneath their feet, making standing even more unbearable in the already painful state- but Meimi could never complain. Even if her body would be permanently cut and molded into each other because of the poor conditions she was in, she would still never complain. Now was not the time for such disgusting selfishness, or self-thought. Meimi couldn't even think as her mind continued to draw a blank as she still stood and watched. The redhead took a deep breath and quickly held it. She cleared her mind for just one second, allowing the sound of the rain to fill her ears, feeling herself having been so close to erupting into a flood of tears, but instead deciding to keep composition and so she stood tall. She had no strength in herself to stand tall, and there was nothing to say that her heart didn't need mending, or her soul didn't feel torn, yet she had just lost her mother and father and she didn't feel that she could lose herself. But Meimi couldn't even bring herself to look at anyone at this moment, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the ground ahead of her, for she knew that if she even spoke to anyone, she would begin to see something she could never stand any more of. Pain. Sadness.
The patter of the rain began to grow dominant, almost echoing out the words of the priest as the closing prayers were given. But no matter if the rain were to sound like the crashing of the waves, or the fierceness of thunder, it could never drown out the sounds that so plagued her mind at that very moment. She remembered losing them. She remembered that it was her fault. She remembered how each second her heart had fallen into countless pieces, how her life was scarred with emotional bruises. She would always remember these things. the rain and the sadness and the tears - the pain. As much as she wanted to, she would never come to truly forget the pain of losing someone she so dearly loved. These two people who were being lowered into the ground.they were the only two people she truly cared about and now.now they were gone.
A droplet of water sat on Meimi's cheek. A droplet that hadn't journeyed from the sky, that hadn't landed upon her face, that wasn't part of the rain. She had created that droplet in her reflections of her own grief. She knew by the ache that overwhelmed her, by the tight clench her hand was in, by the way she tried to seize her chest from a lonesome wail - she had finally begun to cry.
~*~
"Do you want some more orange juice?" Aunt Sally held out a bottle of juice, smiling happily at Meimi.
Meimi looked up at the joyful woman, her face only shining back a lost hope. "No thank you." She muttered the words.
"Are you ready for school today?" The woman turned back to the grill where she flipped a few pancakes.
"I suppose." Meimi answered. She didn't feel like talking. Meimi hadn't even been able to sleep since the funeral. She couldn't sleep. When she slept, she dreamt of them and it would only hurt more. Every night she would stay awake, crying and talking to the pictures of her parents that were hung in the place that was now known as her room. They were selling her house soon. The For Sale Sign was already up in place on her front lawn. She hated it. She hated losing the last reminder of her parents. Many of their belongs were being sold also because Aunt Sally didn't have room for it all and she said it would only hurt Meimi to see them. Boy, was she wrong. After school Aunt Sally was to take Meimi to the house were she would be able to pick out a few things to keep and the rest would be gone. They had moved all of Meimi's clothes, school supplies, books, posters and other belongings into Aunt Sally's house where Meimi had spent most of the night putting it all away. Ruby seemed to always be worried about her, squeaking and nuzzling at her every time she cried. Maybe Ruby was the only one she could trust. Ruby was the only one that even knew about what had happened.
After putting on her school uniform, Meimi began her new walk to school. She stood up facing the large building that towered down at her. "Too bad it wasn't painted black. Then it would be like my heart.I don't belong on this earth anymore.I'm useless.I belong up in heaven with mom and dad. I've got nothing left." Meimi thought to herself as she entered the school. She took a deep breath as she looked around the empty hallways. Aunt Sally had let her sleep in, even though she truly wasn't sleeping, so classes had finally begun but Meimi would have rather left early so she wouldn't draw too much attention when she arrived. Meimi looked into the glass panel in the wooden door, watching her classmates all writing down in deep concentration. Their concentration was quickly broken as Meimi meekly stepped into the room.
"Ah Meimi Haneoka! Welcome back!" Her teacher smiled, showing Meimi to her seat. "We missed you dearly. Right now we're in our books on page 44."
"Thank you." Meimi managed to reply as she gulped down the lump that was forming in her throat. Why was she so nervous? She had come to his classroom with the same people so many times before but suddenly it just didn't feel the same. She felt foreign and strange, as if she was some kind of alien and she wasn't like the others. Thinking about that, Meimi made a decision. She wasn't like the others because every single one of her friends had living parents or one living parent. None of them had ever caused the death of any person before either. She froze. Meimi felt a pair of eyes burning into her back. Someone was watching her. Nervously, she glanced behind her to see Asuka Jr. staring at her. Meimi uneasily shrunk down in her seat. "Does he know? Did he figure out who I am? Maybe he saw my face when he saved me or maybe he figured it out somehow. Maybe he'll arrest me.like in my dream." Meimi wondered as fear crept up her spine. Looking to her left she saw Seira smiling warmly at her. Meimi gave her a lopsided smile in return. Returning her gaze to her book, she fidgeted uncomfortably. She could still sense Asuka Jr. watching her.and he kept watching her! It was driving her INSANE. Biting her lip, she looked around once again. Everyone was busy working in their workbooks; even Seira had stopped smiling at Meimi and went back to her work. Meimi glanced down at her paper. The words suddenly seemed further and further away and her concentration disappeared instantly. Did she use to enjoy doing her work? Every good grade she got her parents would tell her they were proud of her. She frowned at the memory, setting her pencil down and rubbing her eyes tiredly. She sat up straight in her seat. "Did something just hit me in the back?" Meimi turned around. A folded sheet of paper had been thrown at her back and was now sitting against her. She grabbed it quickly, hid it under her book and opened it up.
It read: "Are you doing ok Meimi? If you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to come over. I'm sorry about all the fighting I use do with you. -Asuka Jr."
Meimi partly frowned. "So he feels sorry for me. And he feels responsible it seems." She thought, writing down a reply.
Her reply read: "I'm ok. It's ok, I'm sorry too. Sorry I've missed all these days of school to kick your butt!! -Meimi"
But the note never made it to Asuka Jr. for the teacher grabbed it, reading it out loud. Meimi noticed Asuka's face turning a flushed red. Was he blushing or was he just angry? Thankfully, the bell rang, releasing the teenagers for lunch. Meimi was instantly mobbed with friends. If one more person asked if she was ok, the redhead was sure she would punch them. What was she suppose to be? How was she supposed to feel? All she'd been doing was lying to them. She felt so.out of place. It was as if she suddenly didn't belong with these people. She felt so different and far away from them once again. Meimi wasn't sure if she could take it. Then Meimi felt Seira grab onto her arm, pulling her away from the others. She breathed a sigh of relief. Her friend was saving her from being mobbed from the others. She understood that Meimi just wanted to be alone, or at least away from the group of people. Or so Meimi thought.
"Thank you Seira. I owe you one!" Meimi put on a smile as if she was putting on a mask.
Seira turned to her friend, smiling back. "I know it's a bit early but I thought maybe it would make you feel better, since you always loved this."
"What?" Meimi gave her a confused look.
"I have a new mission for Saint Tail!!!" Seira squealed with glee. "I figured it would make you feel better, helping out people and all."
Meimi frowned, feeling her heart dropping. She thought Seira would understand but.she was wrong. "Uh.I'm not really up to it right now. Sorry."
"Don't be sorry! It's absolutely ok." Seira replied, hiding a tad of disappointment but Meimi caught a glimpse of sadness in her eyes. Meimi knew things would never be the same. She could never tell Seira what had truly happened that night. She could never tell her how she had caused the accident and her parent's death.
"I can never be Saint Tail again." Meimi thought to herself as her friends once again gathered around her. It was slowly sinking into her. "How can I face Asuka Jr. as Saint Tail? How can I face myself if I return to that job? It'll only remind me of the horrible mistake.the deed that I did because I was being careless.Saint Tail is a failure.a criminal that should never take to the streets again."
Her friends noticed her silence. Slowly each of them quieted also until no one in the group was speaking.
Meimi woke up from her trance. "Sorry." She murmured and once again the talking began but it seemed different. They were watching what they said, not mentioning parents. They use to always complain about things their parents made them do and now.now that topic was off the list and Meimi knew it was because of her. Then the bell rang, signaling the start of class again.
~*~
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down
~By: Lauren~
D R O P L E T S
O F
R A I N
As soon as Meimi ate her breakfast, she was rushed to a church were she endured family friends hugging her, people talking about her parents, and thousands of tears. Yet none were her own. Then she was called up to make a speech about her parents. No one had told her that, not even Aunt Sally. Meimi had a feeling Aunt Sally was plotting against her and had conveniently forgotten about Meimi making a speech. Meimi took a deep breath as she stood up, feeling her sore legs rejoice for having been allowed to move. She stepped up to a wooden box in which a microphone was protruding out. In the mass of people she spotted Seira and Asuka Jr. It seemed strange that he was there but then again, since Meimi knew he had been there at the accident, it was only right that he attended. For a second she wondered if he was there to support her but that hope was shot down with another thought. Maybe the only reason he was there was because he was hoping Saint Tail would show up since she had caused the accident. Pushing back those ideas, Meimi closed her eyes then opened them, facing the crowd before her. She didn't think her parents even knew that many people or had that many relatives.
"Two great people lay before us.." She couldn't turn around. Directly behind her were the two coffins. Two wooden boxes holding everything that meant anything to her. "They brought me up as a child and into my teenager years.enduring many headaches, cries, complaints, aches and pains for me. But along with that.we had many great times filled with laughter, joy, and tears of happiness.times that are now gone. The only thing that seems appropriate at this moment are tears. I wish my father could perform some kind of magic and make everything be alright but he can't and neither can I.the only thing I can truly say is that I love these two people. I love them with every single part of my body, every single fiber in myself and I can't stand it that they are gone. All because some idiot caused them to crash their car." Meimi silently felt her heart shattering even more. She had been that idiot. "If they were here at this very moment they would tell everyone to stop crying and get on with their lives.they would say how much they cared about each and every one of us. So listen to their words in your heart.may they forever be in peace up in heaven.watching down upon us." And then Meimi couldn't speak anymore. No more private words would escape her mouth and be exposed into the church. Meimi nodded that she was done then ran down into her safe haven, buried in the people on a large oak bench as they all bowed their heads in prayer.
The next thing Meimi knew she was at the cemetery with two coffins sitting next to each other. The clouds above her opened up as the pitter-patter of rain filled her ears. The gray clouds above her seemed to sense her pain as rain traveled down to the earth, soaking the ground around her. Turning the dirt into mud. The tear-shaped drops of water rolled off Meimi's black umbrella and then onto the grass. A few lone lilies were sprouting around the two marble headstones that now had her parent's name engraved in them. Making it permanent. Announcing they were officially dead.
Meimi was not crying. She wanted to, and felt all the symptoms of sobbing within her, but it was as if her tears were given to the clouds and were shed along with the pouring rain. The ground was soaked beneath their feet, making standing even more unbearable in the already painful state- but Meimi could never complain. Even if her body would be permanently cut and molded into each other because of the poor conditions she was in, she would still never complain. Now was not the time for such disgusting selfishness, or self-thought. Meimi couldn't even think as her mind continued to draw a blank as she still stood and watched. The redhead took a deep breath and quickly held it. She cleared her mind for just one second, allowing the sound of the rain to fill her ears, feeling herself having been so close to erupting into a flood of tears, but instead deciding to keep composition and so she stood tall. She had no strength in herself to stand tall, and there was nothing to say that her heart didn't need mending, or her soul didn't feel torn, yet she had just lost her mother and father and she didn't feel that she could lose herself. But Meimi couldn't even bring herself to look at anyone at this moment, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the ground ahead of her, for she knew that if she even spoke to anyone, she would begin to see something she could never stand any more of. Pain. Sadness.
The patter of the rain began to grow dominant, almost echoing out the words of the priest as the closing prayers were given. But no matter if the rain were to sound like the crashing of the waves, or the fierceness of thunder, it could never drown out the sounds that so plagued her mind at that very moment. She remembered losing them. She remembered that it was her fault. She remembered how each second her heart had fallen into countless pieces, how her life was scarred with emotional bruises. She would always remember these things. the rain and the sadness and the tears - the pain. As much as she wanted to, she would never come to truly forget the pain of losing someone she so dearly loved. These two people who were being lowered into the ground.they were the only two people she truly cared about and now.now they were gone.
A droplet of water sat on Meimi's cheek. A droplet that hadn't journeyed from the sky, that hadn't landed upon her face, that wasn't part of the rain. She had created that droplet in her reflections of her own grief. She knew by the ache that overwhelmed her, by the tight clench her hand was in, by the way she tried to seize her chest from a lonesome wail - she had finally begun to cry.
~*~
"Do you want some more orange juice?" Aunt Sally held out a bottle of juice, smiling happily at Meimi.
Meimi looked up at the joyful woman, her face only shining back a lost hope. "No thank you." She muttered the words.
"Are you ready for school today?" The woman turned back to the grill where she flipped a few pancakes.
"I suppose." Meimi answered. She didn't feel like talking. Meimi hadn't even been able to sleep since the funeral. She couldn't sleep. When she slept, she dreamt of them and it would only hurt more. Every night she would stay awake, crying and talking to the pictures of her parents that were hung in the place that was now known as her room. They were selling her house soon. The For Sale Sign was already up in place on her front lawn. She hated it. She hated losing the last reminder of her parents. Many of their belongs were being sold also because Aunt Sally didn't have room for it all and she said it would only hurt Meimi to see them. Boy, was she wrong. After school Aunt Sally was to take Meimi to the house were she would be able to pick out a few things to keep and the rest would be gone. They had moved all of Meimi's clothes, school supplies, books, posters and other belongings into Aunt Sally's house where Meimi had spent most of the night putting it all away. Ruby seemed to always be worried about her, squeaking and nuzzling at her every time she cried. Maybe Ruby was the only one she could trust. Ruby was the only one that even knew about what had happened.
After putting on her school uniform, Meimi began her new walk to school. She stood up facing the large building that towered down at her. "Too bad it wasn't painted black. Then it would be like my heart.I don't belong on this earth anymore.I'm useless.I belong up in heaven with mom and dad. I've got nothing left." Meimi thought to herself as she entered the school. She took a deep breath as she looked around the empty hallways. Aunt Sally had let her sleep in, even though she truly wasn't sleeping, so classes had finally begun but Meimi would have rather left early so she wouldn't draw too much attention when she arrived. Meimi looked into the glass panel in the wooden door, watching her classmates all writing down in deep concentration. Their concentration was quickly broken as Meimi meekly stepped into the room.
"Ah Meimi Haneoka! Welcome back!" Her teacher smiled, showing Meimi to her seat. "We missed you dearly. Right now we're in our books on page 44."
"Thank you." Meimi managed to reply as she gulped down the lump that was forming in her throat. Why was she so nervous? She had come to his classroom with the same people so many times before but suddenly it just didn't feel the same. She felt foreign and strange, as if she was some kind of alien and she wasn't like the others. Thinking about that, Meimi made a decision. She wasn't like the others because every single one of her friends had living parents or one living parent. None of them had ever caused the death of any person before either. She froze. Meimi felt a pair of eyes burning into her back. Someone was watching her. Nervously, she glanced behind her to see Asuka Jr. staring at her. Meimi uneasily shrunk down in her seat. "Does he know? Did he figure out who I am? Maybe he saw my face when he saved me or maybe he figured it out somehow. Maybe he'll arrest me.like in my dream." Meimi wondered as fear crept up her spine. Looking to her left she saw Seira smiling warmly at her. Meimi gave her a lopsided smile in return. Returning her gaze to her book, she fidgeted uncomfortably. She could still sense Asuka Jr. watching her.and he kept watching her! It was driving her INSANE. Biting her lip, she looked around once again. Everyone was busy working in their workbooks; even Seira had stopped smiling at Meimi and went back to her work. Meimi glanced down at her paper. The words suddenly seemed further and further away and her concentration disappeared instantly. Did she use to enjoy doing her work? Every good grade she got her parents would tell her they were proud of her. She frowned at the memory, setting her pencil down and rubbing her eyes tiredly. She sat up straight in her seat. "Did something just hit me in the back?" Meimi turned around. A folded sheet of paper had been thrown at her back and was now sitting against her. She grabbed it quickly, hid it under her book and opened it up.
It read: "Are you doing ok Meimi? If you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to come over. I'm sorry about all the fighting I use do with you. -Asuka Jr."
Meimi partly frowned. "So he feels sorry for me. And he feels responsible it seems." She thought, writing down a reply.
Her reply read: "I'm ok. It's ok, I'm sorry too. Sorry I've missed all these days of school to kick your butt!! -Meimi"
But the note never made it to Asuka Jr. for the teacher grabbed it, reading it out loud. Meimi noticed Asuka's face turning a flushed red. Was he blushing or was he just angry? Thankfully, the bell rang, releasing the teenagers for lunch. Meimi was instantly mobbed with friends. If one more person asked if she was ok, the redhead was sure she would punch them. What was she suppose to be? How was she supposed to feel? All she'd been doing was lying to them. She felt so.out of place. It was as if she suddenly didn't belong with these people. She felt so different and far away from them once again. Meimi wasn't sure if she could take it. Then Meimi felt Seira grab onto her arm, pulling her away from the others. She breathed a sigh of relief. Her friend was saving her from being mobbed from the others. She understood that Meimi just wanted to be alone, or at least away from the group of people. Or so Meimi thought.
"Thank you Seira. I owe you one!" Meimi put on a smile as if she was putting on a mask.
Seira turned to her friend, smiling back. "I know it's a bit early but I thought maybe it would make you feel better, since you always loved this."
"What?" Meimi gave her a confused look.
"I have a new mission for Saint Tail!!!" Seira squealed with glee. "I figured it would make you feel better, helping out people and all."
Meimi frowned, feeling her heart dropping. She thought Seira would understand but.she was wrong. "Uh.I'm not really up to it right now. Sorry."
"Don't be sorry! It's absolutely ok." Seira replied, hiding a tad of disappointment but Meimi caught a glimpse of sadness in her eyes. Meimi knew things would never be the same. She could never tell Seira what had truly happened that night. She could never tell her how she had caused the accident and her parent's death.
"I can never be Saint Tail again." Meimi thought to herself as her friends once again gathered around her. It was slowly sinking into her. "How can I face Asuka Jr. as Saint Tail? How can I face myself if I return to that job? It'll only remind me of the horrible mistake.the deed that I did because I was being careless.Saint Tail is a failure.a criminal that should never take to the streets again."
Her friends noticed her silence. Slowly each of them quieted also until no one in the group was speaking.
Meimi woke up from her trance. "Sorry." She murmured and once again the talking began but it seemed different. They were watching what they said, not mentioning parents. They use to always complain about things their parents made them do and now.now that topic was off the list and Meimi knew it was because of her. Then the bell rang, signaling the start of class again.
~*~
Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down