Chapter III – Unfair Authorities

||He's been staring at me all the time. If I just pretend to not notice, perhaps…||

On the corner of her eye, Hermione saw Neville pour some red liquid into his cauldron.

||Oh no…||

"Neville! Don't…"

That was all she managed to say, when there was an explosion. The cauldron next to her was spitting dark blue liquid all over the classroom and the students.

||Oh, Merlin, it burns!||

Everything happened like in a half-speed muggle film. Students crouched horrified under their tables, trying to avoid the hot potion spreading over them. Hermione grabbed the petrified Neville and, covering her face, ducked. It didn't help much; she wasn't still safe from that blue goo.

She heard Snape yelling something, but couldn't make out the words. Her skin was stinging too badly.

||Oh bloody fuck, what happened? I gotta get this stuff off!||

She rubbed her arms madly, in vain.

"Somnus Profundus…….… quantities."

||What's happening NOW?! What the bloody hell? Oh, no… no…||

"…you certainly did, Longbottom."

||My hands! My hands are covered in pink hairs! Okay. Breathe! Calm down. It can be fixed, right.||

"Class dismissed!"

"Yes, sir!" she muttered.

"Harry, have you checked the mirror lately? You need a shave."

"Hate to say this to a lady, but so need you!" Harry teased her back.

Hermione tried to laugh.

"Come on, let's get to the hospital wing and quickly. Ron… Neville? Are you coming?"

She did all she could to stop herself from strangling Neville right there and then.

||How could I have been so stupid to not notice the vial of dragon's blood lying on the table, simply waiting for Neville to come and ruin the day?||

"Draco? Are you all right?" she searched for the boy as they hurried out of the classroom and felt a bit better when she noticed that only Draco's hair seemed to be suffering.

||Well, he doesn't actually look bad with light blue hair.||

"Yeah, I'm all right. Oh, dear, your hands and face are… Well, I'm sure it'll be okay. I'm going with my House. I'll see you after dinner, okay?"

Ron was making faces behind Draco's back.

"Okay. In your rooms."

Hermione gave the Slytherin a light kiss while Harry kicked Ron's leg and gave him the look. Ron was now pretending to puke. And so they headed for the infirmary to get some of Madame Pomfrey's Longbottom-proof Fur-Removal Cream. If such thing existed.

The rest of their classes were cancelled for the day, as the Matron needed some time to make the fur-cover disappear (and Hermione, Harry, Ron and Neville weren't her only customers…). Thankfully, she was quite experienced in health potions, so she managed to create a removal solution after carefully analysing the hair sample. She combined a strong depilatory tincture that some unlucky werewolves, suffering from post-full moon difficulties in getting rid of their fur, used, with a sample of a student's extra hair.

"Now be sure the drink the potion that is made from your… um, bodily hair, and not your friend's."

As Hermione's turn to gulp down a gobletful came, she looked worriedly at Ron, who had just drunk his. His face was twisted in…

||…disgust perhaps? But then again, it's Ron who's always goofing about everything.||

She took the goblet, placed it on her lips, closed her eyes an drank. It didn't taste too bad. She opened her eyes and put down the goblet. That's when the cramps begun. First her stomach was on fire, then her hands. Her skin felt like it was being peeled off. The hairs were slowly disappearing.

||Thank Merlin, I don't have to suffer for nothing!||

The pain stopped as quickly as it had started. Some short pink hairs were still visible on her skin.

"Now let me see. Hmm. Right. I'm pretty sure they will go off on their own. If not, come to see me again in the morning. I'd like to keep you here overnight, but, as you can see, the ward is full. Not everyone was as lucky as you, Miss Granger, and they're not going anywhere, not yet."

Madame Pomfrey looked at her miserable, furry patients, eyes full of empathy. She pulled a few huge bars of Honeyduke's chocolate from the pocket of her robe and begun give it to the patients.

"Miss Granger, have this and you're free to go. No, Mr Longbottom, you aren't going anywhere. Here, poor boy, have some chocolate. Misters Potter and Weasley, I believe I can allow you to leave."

She broke two big pieces of the bar.

"Here you go. Miss Parkinson, Miss Zabini, here you are. You can go. Mr Malfoy, Miss Brown, you can go, too. Mr Thomas! Did I tell you you're free to go? Back to bed, right now! Miss Patil……………"

Harry, Hermione and Ron left the infirmary and paced towards the Gryffindor dormitories. Hermione really wanted to clean up before dinner at the Great Hall.

As she was done, the boys were already waiting her in the common room. Harry still had a blue moustache and Ron's hair was greenish instead of red.

"Ready to go?" asked Harry.

"Yes."

They left the common room and walked down the stairs. In the Great Hall they saw Neville. His fur wasn't quite so thick anymore.

"So, I guess chocolate really cures anything."

Hermione said. They sat down and the food appeared. Hermione took one potato and salad on her plate and gulped down a huge glass of pumpkin juice. Harry and Ron had platefuls of meatballs with gravy.

As they were having dessert, Hermione noticed Snape staring at them.

"Don't look now, but he's doing it again. I bet he's planning my detention. Of course I should have stopped Neville because I'm good at potions and Neville's partner, thanks to Snape, and because I didn't, I deserve the chance to scrub some cauldrons." she said sarcastically.

She glared right back at Snape and was surprised to see him shift a little uncomfortably.

||What are you up to this time, professor Snape?||

To be continued…

A/N: This chapter is quite short, but the next one will be long. And we will get on with the story, that's a promise. Though it may take a while for me to write it (too bad mind-reading computers haven't been invented yet!) as I'm quite busy with school at the mo'.