One Last Breath
~By: Lauren~
I F I S H O U L D D I E
Tony and Rei both stared aimlessly at the spot where Tammy had once been, only a mere second ago. Where had she gone, not that Tony wasn't grateful that she was away from the previous danger, although that all depended on who had her now. Rei just blinked. One second he had had his knife pushed against the girl's throat, the next, there was nothing left of her except thin air.
"What did you do with her?!" Rei lashed out at Tony, taking up a defensive stance with his knife held protectively in front of him.
"What did I do with her!!! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HER?!" Tony growled with anger and concern. He was confused. How was that possible? What was going on? Things just weren't making any sense.
Up above the two someone was watching closely with cat-like eyes. Meimi smirked at their reaction; she had forgotten how much fun it was to leave others dumbfounded. Behind her, Tammy suppressed a squeal of joy.
"You're Saint Tail. You're really her! You saved my life!!" Tammy tried to fight back the tears of relief that threatened to spill over. "Thank you so much!"
Meimi turned around, revealing her face along with a mischievous smirk. "You would have done the same for me."
Tammy's jaw went slack, letting it drop down with shock. "M-Meimi...?" She stuttered.
Meimi smirked, nodding yes. Before Tammy could ask any questions, Meimi shoved a bottle of water to her friend. "Tammy, you're really something. I don't know how the good Lord packed so much guts into one little person." The words were no sooner out of Meimi's mouth before she realized this was something her mother used to say to her. She'd used to say it when Meimi was younger and was having a rough time; she'd say it practically every other day.
Tammy gulped the water until she had finished the entire bottle. She smiled warmly. "Same goes for you Miss Saint Tail!! I can't believe you're her!" The two, being unable to resist until now, leapt forward, bringing each other into a tight embrace. Tammy was the first to talk. "I was so scared. Thank you so much Meimi. I knew I could depend on you, on all of you. But I never imagined that you were..."
The redhead shook her head for silence. Meimi blushed. "No, you should thank the others first. But right now we have other things to worry about." She motioned to the direction of Tony and Rei.
The two were circling each other like enraged lions, ready to take down their prey with one hit. Rei jumped forward, wielding his knife madly while Tony ducked to trip the boy. Rei's knife slashed downward, connecting painfully with Tony's arm.
A scream of agony broke through the once silent air. Droplets of crimson blood stained the dirt as Tony clutched this throbbing wound on his arm with his opposite hand. Rei eyed the other boy down, smirking gleefully.
Tammy frowned at the sight. "I wish it didn't have to be this way, but it does, doesn't it?" She glanced over at Meimi who sadly nodded yes. "There's no way around the hurt, is there? You just have to live with it." But both of their attention was swept away at the sound of a foreign voice.
Meimi looked down again. She froze. Something was different. Something was...amiss. Tony was crouched down against an old refrigerator, sweat dripping from his brow, looking around for Tammy while another male was threatening Rei. Meimi felt her heart leap into her throat. It was Asuka Jr. The red head had forgotten that she had sent him a calling card and now he had to show up and mess everything!
Rei had a psychotic look gleaming in his eyes while he ran the blunt side of the steel knife blade against his cheek. Tony's blood rubbed off from the blade, staining Rei's pale skin. "I see you also want to die, little boy." He hissed.
What was Asuka Jr. doing here? Why didn't he have the sense to escape, to get away from the danger that was staring him right in the face? Why wasn't the boy doing anything? Did he even have a weapon? Meimi couldn't see any unless that included his police badge and that didn't do him much good.
"You robbed the bank. You kidnapped that girl." He blankly stated to Rei, as if in shock. Asuka Jr. must have just realized the mistakes he had been making blaming Tony. "You're under arrest..."
But Rei abruptly cut off Asuka Jr. "And how do you propose you're going to do that? Get your buddies to come after me? Sorry but how will you contact them when you're going to be dead within five minutes?" The words left Rei's mouth, mocking the detective.
"I'll stop you if it's the last thing I do!" Asuka Jr. screamed angrily back. "Because this is the right thing to do! Not because you live on the streets, not because you've had a rough life, but because what you are doing is just plain WRONG. That makes all the difference." He crossed his arms in triumph. "And I know...if Saint Tail is watching somewhere around here...she'd be proud of me. And maybe she'll even consider taking me back...maybe returning to her home." He spoke as if praying that Meimi would hear him, which she did.
"Stop babbling you idiot!!!" Rei snarled with anger, snapping out of his thoughts to glare at Asuka Jr. "You're only digging your grave deeper and deeper. So will you just DIE!!!" He screeched, running at Asuka Jr. with his knife pointed dangerously forward.
Meimi's eyes widened with horror as a flash of pain flooded her soul. Here, face-to-face, where that anguish was inescapable and couldn't be so easily smashed out of problem's way, Meimi found herself only struggling to contain an immense rage that built up inside of her. It grew spitefully within her, although a small part of her did want to keep a cool head, with thoughts of logic and empathy, rather than the selfish desires of revenge and to be understood which she now so powerfully possessed. Asuka Jr. still didn't understand what Saint Tail stood for or what she truly was. But there was no overriding such an essence, for it had been something of which the young thief had experienced her entire life, this burden- this being "misunderstood". And of all times of times, this was the moment; this was the moment where everything was revealed to her. She understood now. She knew of her past, she knew well, and her memory served her and only her. Meimi wasn't going to live to please anyone, or change anything to accustom to what's "normal." Meimi knew her life was not normal, and most of all, she knew that she wasn't going to take anymore of this doubt from someone who supposedly loved her most- Asuka Jr.
Even if she wanted to stand up and scream down to Asuka Jr. everything that zoomed through her mind, she was unable to do so at the moment. Of all the times for her magic to fail her, this was the second it choose to be uncooperative. Meimi's hands shook as she repeated over and over, "One...two...three!! ONE TWO THERE!" Yet it was useless. Rei was still flying at Asuka Jr., ready to impale the boy through the chest with his razor sharp blade. Why was Rei so hateful? Why did he kill Tammy's sister? Why was he doing all of this? Suddenly, realization hit her like a 18- wheeler flying at her dead on. As twisted and weird as it sounded to Meimi, it somehow made sense. But Meimi wouldn't allow Asuka to get hurt. She was the one who had invited Asuka Jr. here in the first place and she wasn't about to have him be killed or injured because of her. She had done enough damage last time she had become Saint Tail and Meimi wasn't going to stand there and watch someone she loved be hurt. She would rather have it be she than him, anything to save his life. Meimi took one deep breath before she plunged forward, tumbling down towards Asuka Jr.
~*~
What injustice acts had Meimi committed to deserve this kind of fate? This was something Asuka Jr. pondered often. The girl had only been helping the weak, the poor, the preyed upon. This surprised him as he discovered that this was one of the many reasons he admired Saint Tail and Meimi. She was somebody who was willing to stand up for those who were trampled on and taken advantage of just for their position in life. He now understood her, even if she tried to hide her pain. Maybe...maybe she just didn't have anything to hide. Maybe the old Meimi with this sense of justice was still left somewhere inside of her. Maybe Saint Tail was a person who stood up for what she believed in, which was equal justice for everyone and when this was not shown correctly, she would create her own justice for the people.
~*~
Meimi flew forward, taking aim of where she wanted to land. Would the truth of her actions, her thoughts, and her feelings, uncensored and untainted, in all of its absurd complexity, be the single most important resolution to a thousand problems she couldn't solve any other way? Would this rescue her, save her and wipe her clean of all of the many troubles. to open the doors of her confounded spirit to all the world, despite the many disadvantages? Would this and could this possibly be Meimi's only and best chance to finally bring this ongoing story to an end? It would have to end at sometime. At one point or another, the book would draw to a close; the conclusion would come to be, and life would go on as it was. What did she have to lose? It was the only sensible decision that she could possibly make. Meimi had decided:
She was going to stop this ongoing cycle of pain, one by one, starting with Rei, Tony, Asuka Jr., Tammy and the others then lastly, herself. There would be no more walls around anyone.
This story would have to end.
She landed gracefully between the two, arms outstretched towards Rei. The knife painfully entered her body, sending thousands of signals through her every nerve. She knew there was blood everywhere but she ignored it, letting her arms gently and tenderly embrace Rei. The boy stood shock- still, staring at Meimi with a confused look in his eyes while her arms carefully nursed him close against her, staining his own shirt with her crimson blood. She nuzzled him like a mother would do to her son.
Meimi smiled weakly through the agonizing pain that torn through her body. She tried to ignore it and to ignore the screams coming from Asuka Jr., Tammy and Tony.
"I understand." Meimi looked deep into Rei's eyes, searching, and she swore she saw a flash of sorrow and of grief. "You loved her didn't you? You didn't mean to end Celeste's life but somehow, it ended out with her dead and you to blame. Am I right? Why are you channeling your anger and hate towards Tony and us? You shouldn't." By now, Rei's eyes were overflowing with hot tears. "I know how it feels to blame yourself...But...it's ok...I know...Celeste forgives you...just stop...disappointing her with your...wrong deeds." And with that, Meimi's world went black.
~*~
There's a moment in the life of every person when the world fades away, and there is only one thing ...love. Perfection. Wonder. Beauty.
No matter who you are, no matter where you come from, no matter if you're a hero or an ordinary person, at one time, for one instant...that moment will come for you. And, when it does...you'll wonder how you ever lived without its memory in your life...and you'll spend the rest of your life wishing for it to come again.
Meimi never thought she'd be so lucky as to have a moment like that...to get close enough to touch that kind of beauty, that kind of perfection. She was living a borrowed life, and one with no hope for love. Sure, she could find a man, attempt fall in love...but it would end at that, always, no hope for anything more. She couldn't allow anyone through her walls. She couldn't allow anyone to break through her barrier to see the real Meimi. For if they broke through, they would only find a lone broken girl, crying and wandering around aimlessly lost. She was ashamed of that, ashamed of her so-called 'weakness' and of her past.
So Meimi kept to herself. Even when men showed interest in her, even when she was interested in them...she never let it get too far. She never gave enough of herself to them that it would hurt her to leave them...because it was always inevitable that she would have to. She was afraid of how they would react if she would ever be able to let down her walls and be her true self, if the walls could possibly fall. She had built them so high she feared they would collapse in on her and bury her alive.
But one thing Meimi had missed most when she had been gone those years was Asuka Jr.'s laughter. His smiles. His childish, hopeless love. He made life fun even when it wasn't supposed to be. There was a hollow place of pain in her soul that she had not attended to in all these years. Asuka Jr., Seira and Sawatari. Even Lina. The playmates she grew up with, the friends she shared all her dreams with. Meimi had needed to go, to find a place where she could heal from her recent loss and back then, those friends stood in her way. And so she had ran. She ran from them, from the pain...from herself. Back then, Meimi could feel the stars. Each sparkle set aflame the pain in her heart.
Suddenly, Meimi remembered something that had once happened only a month or so ago.
Marie smiled gleefully, bouncing up to Meimi who was reading a magazine. The Italian girl said, "I told somebody that you, Tony, Tammy, and Aaron were my family. Somebody at this cafe said, 'Do you have a family at home?' And I said 'Sure,' without even thinking. I meant you all. Mainly I guess because we've been through hell and high water together. We know each other's good and bad sides, stuff nobody else knows."
It was hard for Meimi to decide what to say.
"I don't mean till death do us part, or anything." Marie said. "But nothing on this earth's guaranteed, when you get right down to it, you know? I've been thinking about that. About how your family isn't always really yours, they're just these people that you try to keep an eye on, and hope you'll all grow up one day to like each other and still be in one piece. What I mean is, everything you ever get is really just on loan. Does that make sense?"
"Sure." Meimi replied. "Like library books. Sooner or later they've all got to go back into the night drop."
"Exactly. So what's the point worrying yourself sick about it. You'd just as well enjoy it while you've got it." Marie smiled.
"I guess you could say we're a family." Meimi said while watching Marie giggle, flipping to the next magazine page.
Meimi smiled at the memory as she thought to herself. "If I should...die. Then...it'll be all right, I think. Because I've had my moment...with you. All of you. I've had it. I've reveled in it- I've lived more of a life in these past few months than I have in all sixteen years. I've had my moment. Maybe, in death...I can have it again. If I...should die."
~*~
"I'm here beside you now, keeping you strong, keeping you safe and I won't let go. No matter what. I'm inside of you, Meimi. I can feel your heart beating, feel the confusion swirling in your mind. And that pain, in the pit of your stomach, that lost, empty pain. It's because of me, of what has happened. I made you feel this way because I left. We left. But...we're here now. We'll always be here because we love you Meimi. We want you to be happy so we'll stay here with you, keeping you strong, keeping you safe. We'll always protect you. We're walking beside you. Can you feel us Meimi? We're here, holding onto you, keeping your back straight and your steps sure- keeping the sadness from rising up from your heart, hurting you more. I won't let anything hurt you, not ever. Even as you fall, even as you tumble down to the earth through the air towards what you chose as your fate, we're holding onto you."
"Don't worry, I know it's cold. I know it hurts but we're here with you. I'm wrapping my arms around you, hugging the warmth back into you, pulling you close and giving you the strength you've always gave us. We've giving you our power, because we're part of you. We're reaching out through you, melding into you, reaching our arms out through your arms, opening our eyes through your eyes, drawing courage into your heart...because it's our heart, too. Take it. Be strong Meimi. Can you feel us, I wonder? Do you know we're here? You're being moved, shifted, sobbed upon, trying to fight the pain and the consuming darkness. But remember we're here. You feel it now, don't you? We're here always. We're giving you our strength. Everyone is crowding around you now, touching you, and holding you...caring for you. Yes."
"You're alive Meimi. And you know...that we were there. Thank god you know we're here...you can feel us. Oh Meimi, I wish we could talk to you now, tell you that we're all right, things are okay but...we can't, can we? At least, not as we are now, not yet. But, one day...one day Meimi, we swear, we'll talk to you again. I'll hold you in my arms and never let go. Not because I want to take you away from the world but because I want you to -feel- us. I want you to know that we're here, we're real. We're giving you all the strength we have to give. I want to hug you close, Meimi, hear your heart beating against my chest- know that you can feel my arms around you, my strength, our love surrounding you. But most of all, I just wish that you could hear my voice, because, there's so much I want to tell you. So much I want to say. So much I didn't get a chance to say. But...it'll be all right for now. Because...we can wait and we'll -always- be here with you, here inside...you...our daughter..."
~*~
My silent heart in the time of farewell,
The body that becomes zero listens carefully.
The mystery of being alive, the mystery of going to die,
It's the same with flowers, winds, and towns.
It's calling, somewhere deep in my heart,
~*~ Lauren: Sorry about the week delays. Anyone in grade 10 science, math, history, english, and a second year of foreign language can understand my pain. =D I'd like to send out a "Hi!!" And "How are you all?" to any new readers and a wonderful happy thank you again to all of the old readers who still hang around for more. It really means a ton to me. My parents/family and most of my friends don't read my writing (At least not the Saint Tail stories), so it means so much that other anime fans out there, who were once literal strangers, would take the time and see what I have to offer. Was this chapter easy to understand or confusing? I tried to make it a bit vague as in you don't know who's speaking the last few paragraphs until the end. So what does all of this mean? Is Meimi going to die? Can her parents help save her? Will she end this cycle that everyone's involved in? Will her heart led her to Asuka Jr. in the end? Who knows!! (Well, ok, I guess I know) but please hang around and find out! We're nearing the end, or at the climax or whatever it's called. (dun dun dunnnn!!) Time to bring it home within the next, erm, few chapters. I'm guessing to have around four or five more chapters. It all depends on how long/descriptive with thinking and talking they get and I have a bunch of stuff planned for the end. Ok, so maybe that isn't completely near the end nor is it a few but...riiight anyways! I suppose I'm rambling on because it's late at night. Oh and do you all get the whole family theme? I've been trying to get that across that a family isn't necessarily someone related to you by blood. They're mainly people who are with you through thick and thin, people you're closest to and have seen every side to you and still care. Do you all sort of get it? Makes sense? Hmm?
And my kitty Skittles says hi! See, he typed you all this: vvvvb b bbnm ,,kh,jmhjymhkbv
Thanks so much again for reading! XD
~By: Lauren~
I F I S H O U L D D I E
Tony and Rei both stared aimlessly at the spot where Tammy had once been, only a mere second ago. Where had she gone, not that Tony wasn't grateful that she was away from the previous danger, although that all depended on who had her now. Rei just blinked. One second he had had his knife pushed against the girl's throat, the next, there was nothing left of her except thin air.
"What did you do with her?!" Rei lashed out at Tony, taking up a defensive stance with his knife held protectively in front of him.
"What did I do with her!!! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HER?!" Tony growled with anger and concern. He was confused. How was that possible? What was going on? Things just weren't making any sense.
Up above the two someone was watching closely with cat-like eyes. Meimi smirked at their reaction; she had forgotten how much fun it was to leave others dumbfounded. Behind her, Tammy suppressed a squeal of joy.
"You're Saint Tail. You're really her! You saved my life!!" Tammy tried to fight back the tears of relief that threatened to spill over. "Thank you so much!"
Meimi turned around, revealing her face along with a mischievous smirk. "You would have done the same for me."
Tammy's jaw went slack, letting it drop down with shock. "M-Meimi...?" She stuttered.
Meimi smirked, nodding yes. Before Tammy could ask any questions, Meimi shoved a bottle of water to her friend. "Tammy, you're really something. I don't know how the good Lord packed so much guts into one little person." The words were no sooner out of Meimi's mouth before she realized this was something her mother used to say to her. She'd used to say it when Meimi was younger and was having a rough time; she'd say it practically every other day.
Tammy gulped the water until she had finished the entire bottle. She smiled warmly. "Same goes for you Miss Saint Tail!! I can't believe you're her!" The two, being unable to resist until now, leapt forward, bringing each other into a tight embrace. Tammy was the first to talk. "I was so scared. Thank you so much Meimi. I knew I could depend on you, on all of you. But I never imagined that you were..."
The redhead shook her head for silence. Meimi blushed. "No, you should thank the others first. But right now we have other things to worry about." She motioned to the direction of Tony and Rei.
The two were circling each other like enraged lions, ready to take down their prey with one hit. Rei jumped forward, wielding his knife madly while Tony ducked to trip the boy. Rei's knife slashed downward, connecting painfully with Tony's arm.
A scream of agony broke through the once silent air. Droplets of crimson blood stained the dirt as Tony clutched this throbbing wound on his arm with his opposite hand. Rei eyed the other boy down, smirking gleefully.
Tammy frowned at the sight. "I wish it didn't have to be this way, but it does, doesn't it?" She glanced over at Meimi who sadly nodded yes. "There's no way around the hurt, is there? You just have to live with it." But both of their attention was swept away at the sound of a foreign voice.
Meimi looked down again. She froze. Something was different. Something was...amiss. Tony was crouched down against an old refrigerator, sweat dripping from his brow, looking around for Tammy while another male was threatening Rei. Meimi felt her heart leap into her throat. It was Asuka Jr. The red head had forgotten that she had sent him a calling card and now he had to show up and mess everything!
Rei had a psychotic look gleaming in his eyes while he ran the blunt side of the steel knife blade against his cheek. Tony's blood rubbed off from the blade, staining Rei's pale skin. "I see you also want to die, little boy." He hissed.
What was Asuka Jr. doing here? Why didn't he have the sense to escape, to get away from the danger that was staring him right in the face? Why wasn't the boy doing anything? Did he even have a weapon? Meimi couldn't see any unless that included his police badge and that didn't do him much good.
"You robbed the bank. You kidnapped that girl." He blankly stated to Rei, as if in shock. Asuka Jr. must have just realized the mistakes he had been making blaming Tony. "You're under arrest..."
But Rei abruptly cut off Asuka Jr. "And how do you propose you're going to do that? Get your buddies to come after me? Sorry but how will you contact them when you're going to be dead within five minutes?" The words left Rei's mouth, mocking the detective.
"I'll stop you if it's the last thing I do!" Asuka Jr. screamed angrily back. "Because this is the right thing to do! Not because you live on the streets, not because you've had a rough life, but because what you are doing is just plain WRONG. That makes all the difference." He crossed his arms in triumph. "And I know...if Saint Tail is watching somewhere around here...she'd be proud of me. And maybe she'll even consider taking me back...maybe returning to her home." He spoke as if praying that Meimi would hear him, which she did.
"Stop babbling you idiot!!!" Rei snarled with anger, snapping out of his thoughts to glare at Asuka Jr. "You're only digging your grave deeper and deeper. So will you just DIE!!!" He screeched, running at Asuka Jr. with his knife pointed dangerously forward.
Meimi's eyes widened with horror as a flash of pain flooded her soul. Here, face-to-face, where that anguish was inescapable and couldn't be so easily smashed out of problem's way, Meimi found herself only struggling to contain an immense rage that built up inside of her. It grew spitefully within her, although a small part of her did want to keep a cool head, with thoughts of logic and empathy, rather than the selfish desires of revenge and to be understood which she now so powerfully possessed. Asuka Jr. still didn't understand what Saint Tail stood for or what she truly was. But there was no overriding such an essence, for it had been something of which the young thief had experienced her entire life, this burden- this being "misunderstood". And of all times of times, this was the moment; this was the moment where everything was revealed to her. She understood now. She knew of her past, she knew well, and her memory served her and only her. Meimi wasn't going to live to please anyone, or change anything to accustom to what's "normal." Meimi knew her life was not normal, and most of all, she knew that she wasn't going to take anymore of this doubt from someone who supposedly loved her most- Asuka Jr.
Even if she wanted to stand up and scream down to Asuka Jr. everything that zoomed through her mind, she was unable to do so at the moment. Of all the times for her magic to fail her, this was the second it choose to be uncooperative. Meimi's hands shook as she repeated over and over, "One...two...three!! ONE TWO THERE!" Yet it was useless. Rei was still flying at Asuka Jr., ready to impale the boy through the chest with his razor sharp blade. Why was Rei so hateful? Why did he kill Tammy's sister? Why was he doing all of this? Suddenly, realization hit her like a 18- wheeler flying at her dead on. As twisted and weird as it sounded to Meimi, it somehow made sense. But Meimi wouldn't allow Asuka to get hurt. She was the one who had invited Asuka Jr. here in the first place and she wasn't about to have him be killed or injured because of her. She had done enough damage last time she had become Saint Tail and Meimi wasn't going to stand there and watch someone she loved be hurt. She would rather have it be she than him, anything to save his life. Meimi took one deep breath before she plunged forward, tumbling down towards Asuka Jr.
~*~
What injustice acts had Meimi committed to deserve this kind of fate? This was something Asuka Jr. pondered often. The girl had only been helping the weak, the poor, the preyed upon. This surprised him as he discovered that this was one of the many reasons he admired Saint Tail and Meimi. She was somebody who was willing to stand up for those who were trampled on and taken advantage of just for their position in life. He now understood her, even if she tried to hide her pain. Maybe...maybe she just didn't have anything to hide. Maybe the old Meimi with this sense of justice was still left somewhere inside of her. Maybe Saint Tail was a person who stood up for what she believed in, which was equal justice for everyone and when this was not shown correctly, she would create her own justice for the people.
~*~
Meimi flew forward, taking aim of where she wanted to land. Would the truth of her actions, her thoughts, and her feelings, uncensored and untainted, in all of its absurd complexity, be the single most important resolution to a thousand problems she couldn't solve any other way? Would this rescue her, save her and wipe her clean of all of the many troubles. to open the doors of her confounded spirit to all the world, despite the many disadvantages? Would this and could this possibly be Meimi's only and best chance to finally bring this ongoing story to an end? It would have to end at sometime. At one point or another, the book would draw to a close; the conclusion would come to be, and life would go on as it was. What did she have to lose? It was the only sensible decision that she could possibly make. Meimi had decided:
She was going to stop this ongoing cycle of pain, one by one, starting with Rei, Tony, Asuka Jr., Tammy and the others then lastly, herself. There would be no more walls around anyone.
This story would have to end.
She landed gracefully between the two, arms outstretched towards Rei. The knife painfully entered her body, sending thousands of signals through her every nerve. She knew there was blood everywhere but she ignored it, letting her arms gently and tenderly embrace Rei. The boy stood shock- still, staring at Meimi with a confused look in his eyes while her arms carefully nursed him close against her, staining his own shirt with her crimson blood. She nuzzled him like a mother would do to her son.
Meimi smiled weakly through the agonizing pain that torn through her body. She tried to ignore it and to ignore the screams coming from Asuka Jr., Tammy and Tony.
"I understand." Meimi looked deep into Rei's eyes, searching, and she swore she saw a flash of sorrow and of grief. "You loved her didn't you? You didn't mean to end Celeste's life but somehow, it ended out with her dead and you to blame. Am I right? Why are you channeling your anger and hate towards Tony and us? You shouldn't." By now, Rei's eyes were overflowing with hot tears. "I know how it feels to blame yourself...But...it's ok...I know...Celeste forgives you...just stop...disappointing her with your...wrong deeds." And with that, Meimi's world went black.
~*~
There's a moment in the life of every person when the world fades away, and there is only one thing ...love. Perfection. Wonder. Beauty.
No matter who you are, no matter where you come from, no matter if you're a hero or an ordinary person, at one time, for one instant...that moment will come for you. And, when it does...you'll wonder how you ever lived without its memory in your life...and you'll spend the rest of your life wishing for it to come again.
Meimi never thought she'd be so lucky as to have a moment like that...to get close enough to touch that kind of beauty, that kind of perfection. She was living a borrowed life, and one with no hope for love. Sure, she could find a man, attempt fall in love...but it would end at that, always, no hope for anything more. She couldn't allow anyone through her walls. She couldn't allow anyone to break through her barrier to see the real Meimi. For if they broke through, they would only find a lone broken girl, crying and wandering around aimlessly lost. She was ashamed of that, ashamed of her so-called 'weakness' and of her past.
So Meimi kept to herself. Even when men showed interest in her, even when she was interested in them...she never let it get too far. She never gave enough of herself to them that it would hurt her to leave them...because it was always inevitable that she would have to. She was afraid of how they would react if she would ever be able to let down her walls and be her true self, if the walls could possibly fall. She had built them so high she feared they would collapse in on her and bury her alive.
But one thing Meimi had missed most when she had been gone those years was Asuka Jr.'s laughter. His smiles. His childish, hopeless love. He made life fun even when it wasn't supposed to be. There was a hollow place of pain in her soul that she had not attended to in all these years. Asuka Jr., Seira and Sawatari. Even Lina. The playmates she grew up with, the friends she shared all her dreams with. Meimi had needed to go, to find a place where she could heal from her recent loss and back then, those friends stood in her way. And so she had ran. She ran from them, from the pain...from herself. Back then, Meimi could feel the stars. Each sparkle set aflame the pain in her heart.
Suddenly, Meimi remembered something that had once happened only a month or so ago.
Marie smiled gleefully, bouncing up to Meimi who was reading a magazine. The Italian girl said, "I told somebody that you, Tony, Tammy, and Aaron were my family. Somebody at this cafe said, 'Do you have a family at home?' And I said 'Sure,' without even thinking. I meant you all. Mainly I guess because we've been through hell and high water together. We know each other's good and bad sides, stuff nobody else knows."
It was hard for Meimi to decide what to say.
"I don't mean till death do us part, or anything." Marie said. "But nothing on this earth's guaranteed, when you get right down to it, you know? I've been thinking about that. About how your family isn't always really yours, they're just these people that you try to keep an eye on, and hope you'll all grow up one day to like each other and still be in one piece. What I mean is, everything you ever get is really just on loan. Does that make sense?"
"Sure." Meimi replied. "Like library books. Sooner or later they've all got to go back into the night drop."
"Exactly. So what's the point worrying yourself sick about it. You'd just as well enjoy it while you've got it." Marie smiled.
"I guess you could say we're a family." Meimi said while watching Marie giggle, flipping to the next magazine page.
Meimi smiled at the memory as she thought to herself. "If I should...die. Then...it'll be all right, I think. Because I've had my moment...with you. All of you. I've had it. I've reveled in it- I've lived more of a life in these past few months than I have in all sixteen years. I've had my moment. Maybe, in death...I can have it again. If I...should die."
~*~
"I'm here beside you now, keeping you strong, keeping you safe and I won't let go. No matter what. I'm inside of you, Meimi. I can feel your heart beating, feel the confusion swirling in your mind. And that pain, in the pit of your stomach, that lost, empty pain. It's because of me, of what has happened. I made you feel this way because I left. We left. But...we're here now. We'll always be here because we love you Meimi. We want you to be happy so we'll stay here with you, keeping you strong, keeping you safe. We'll always protect you. We're walking beside you. Can you feel us Meimi? We're here, holding onto you, keeping your back straight and your steps sure- keeping the sadness from rising up from your heart, hurting you more. I won't let anything hurt you, not ever. Even as you fall, even as you tumble down to the earth through the air towards what you chose as your fate, we're holding onto you."
"Don't worry, I know it's cold. I know it hurts but we're here with you. I'm wrapping my arms around you, hugging the warmth back into you, pulling you close and giving you the strength you've always gave us. We've giving you our power, because we're part of you. We're reaching out through you, melding into you, reaching our arms out through your arms, opening our eyes through your eyes, drawing courage into your heart...because it's our heart, too. Take it. Be strong Meimi. Can you feel us, I wonder? Do you know we're here? You're being moved, shifted, sobbed upon, trying to fight the pain and the consuming darkness. But remember we're here. You feel it now, don't you? We're here always. We're giving you our strength. Everyone is crowding around you now, touching you, and holding you...caring for you. Yes."
"You're alive Meimi. And you know...that we were there. Thank god you know we're here...you can feel us. Oh Meimi, I wish we could talk to you now, tell you that we're all right, things are okay but...we can't, can we? At least, not as we are now, not yet. But, one day...one day Meimi, we swear, we'll talk to you again. I'll hold you in my arms and never let go. Not because I want to take you away from the world but because I want you to -feel- us. I want you to know that we're here, we're real. We're giving you all the strength we have to give. I want to hug you close, Meimi, hear your heart beating against my chest- know that you can feel my arms around you, my strength, our love surrounding you. But most of all, I just wish that you could hear my voice, because, there's so much I want to tell you. So much I want to say. So much I didn't get a chance to say. But...it'll be all right for now. Because...we can wait and we'll -always- be here with you, here inside...you...our daughter..."
~*~
My silent heart in the time of farewell,
The body that becomes zero listens carefully.
The mystery of being alive, the mystery of going to die,
It's the same with flowers, winds, and towns.
It's calling, somewhere deep in my heart,
~*~ Lauren: Sorry about the week delays. Anyone in grade 10 science, math, history, english, and a second year of foreign language can understand my pain. =D I'd like to send out a "Hi!!" And "How are you all?" to any new readers and a wonderful happy thank you again to all of the old readers who still hang around for more. It really means a ton to me. My parents/family and most of my friends don't read my writing (At least not the Saint Tail stories), so it means so much that other anime fans out there, who were once literal strangers, would take the time and see what I have to offer. Was this chapter easy to understand or confusing? I tried to make it a bit vague as in you don't know who's speaking the last few paragraphs until the end. So what does all of this mean? Is Meimi going to die? Can her parents help save her? Will she end this cycle that everyone's involved in? Will her heart led her to Asuka Jr. in the end? Who knows!! (Well, ok, I guess I know) but please hang around and find out! We're nearing the end, or at the climax or whatever it's called. (dun dun dunnnn!!) Time to bring it home within the next, erm, few chapters. I'm guessing to have around four or five more chapters. It all depends on how long/descriptive with thinking and talking they get and I have a bunch of stuff planned for the end. Ok, so maybe that isn't completely near the end nor is it a few but...riiight anyways! I suppose I'm rambling on because it's late at night. Oh and do you all get the whole family theme? I've been trying to get that across that a family isn't necessarily someone related to you by blood. They're mainly people who are with you through thick and thin, people you're closest to and have seen every side to you and still care. Do you all sort of get it? Makes sense? Hmm?
And my kitty Skittles says hi! See, he typed you all this: vvvvb b bbnm ,,kh,jmhjymhkbv
Thanks so much again for reading! XD