Author's Note: The title comes from the movie "Mahogany" starring Diana Ross and Billy Dee Williams. Nobody liked the movie, but the theme from the movie, "Do You Know Where You're Going To?" sung by Diana Ross was a huge hit, and nominated for an Oscar.
"The Nearness of You" is a song by the wonderful Norah Jones. Ella Fitzgerald did the song many moons ago as a duet with Louis Armstrong on trumpet.
Spoilers: None. If any of this should happen in the future, just assume I have a really brilliant mind.
The Theme from "Mahogany" – Do you know where you're going to?
Rory and Lorelai are walking through Stars Hollow towards Luke's in early December. The town in decorated, as usual, with humble, yet spunky twinkle lights, including Luke's.
LORELAI: Oh my God, what's that smell?
RORY: It's heavenly.
LORELAI: It's beyond heavenly! It's…well, I guess you can't go up beyond heaven, huh?
RORY: I should say not.
LORELAI: Still, it's like sugar, and cream, and a dozen Oompa Loompas all covered in one perfectly pretty package.
RORY: Eew, why would anyone eat oompa loompas?
LORELAI: Why would anyone eat bean curd? I don't know, but they sure got a lot of it at Al's Pancake World.
RORY: (sniffs) It smells like barbecue, but without barbecue sauce.
LORELAI: What is barbecue without barbecue sauce?
RORY: A senseless world.
LORELAI: I hear that, sister. Hey, look. (Points to Luke's)
They walk into Luke's where every table is filled, and many people are standing. Most people are casually dressed-up.
RORY: Oh, my God. What's going on here?
LORELAI: (Slowly, surveying the room) I don't know. Do you think Luke ordered free Pay-Per-View for everyone?
RORY: Yeah, that's probably it.
LORELAI: Who – who are all these people?
RORY: Stars Hollowians?
LORELAI: Hmm, that's funny. Stars Hollowians. Oh! Stars Hollow…anites. No. Oh, oh, oh! Stars Hollowers. Like, we hollow things, like on All Hallows Eve. Yeah, everyone goes around with a pumpkin scoop in the night, hollowing out the trunks of trees dressed like Christina Ricci and Johnny Depp.
RORY: An immense plus.
LORELAI: Mm-hmm.
Jess maneuvers his way towards them, carrying two mugs above his head. He hands Rory and Lorelai each a mug.
JESS: For you; for you.
RORY: What is all of this?
JESS: Christmas party. Can't you tell with the lights, and decorations, and innumerable people wearing red and green sweaters with pom-poms on them?
LORELAI: No, we can't tell! No one told us!
RORY: Yeah, how come we didn't know about this?
JESS: Well, for one thing, it's not for you.
LORELAI: Well, I'm afraid Jess, that that fault is entirely yours.
JESS: (ignoring Lorelai) Luke decided to open the diner to parties: birthdays, anniversaries. Normal town insanity.
RORY: Oh, that's nice.
LORELAI: And the question remains: why wasn't I told?
RORY: Ooh, this coffee is really good.
JESS: I put cinnamon in it.
RORY: That's what I taste.
Jess starts to lead Rory through the crowd.
LORELAI: Hey, where are you two going? No one answered my question! (sips coffee) And this definitely doesn't have cinnamon in it! (pause) Luke!
Fade to next scene the next morning at the Independence Inn. Lorelai and Michel are at the front desk.
LORELAI: (on the phone) Wow, that would be super….Happy? Happy cannot describe how…happy we feel right now. Yes. Thank you. Hmm, you too. (hangs up phone) I don't believe that. A twelve piece orchestra. Do you know how hard it is to get a twelve piece orchestra? In Connecticut? In the snow? Two weeks before Christmas? Well, clearly you're as stunned as I am.
MICHEL: I apologize. Exactly what sentiment should my face have shown just now?
LORELAI: Nothin' special, just the usual.
MICHEL: Then all is well.
LORELAI: (walks into the kitchen where Sookie is examining the notes for a recipe) Sookie!
SOOKIE: Yeah?
LORELAI: Guess who I was just on the phone with.
SOOKIE: I hope not one of those nasty Jamaican psychics.
LORELAI: Reese Norton.
SOOKIE: (gasps) Oh, you mean Reese Reese Norton?
LORELAI: That's the guy!
SOOKIE: What did he say, what did he say?
LORELAI: Oh. You know, just that he'll be sending a 12-piece orchestra over here on Christmas Day.
SOOKIE: I knew it! I knew he'd pick the Independence. I mean, for a while there, I wasn't sure. But I definitely knew it.
LORELAI: Business will be booming in a few weeks.
SOOKIE: I can hear the little drummer boy plugged into his amp right now.
LORELAI: I love Christmas. Don't you?
SOOKIE: The thought of it, yeah. Though something always seems to go wrong around here. Something always catches on fire.
LORELAI: Aah, don't say that. We want to hold off on any unnecessary foreshadowing. Look how that turned out for the Terminator movies.
SOOKIE: Hmm, true.
LORELAI: Oh, it'll be just like the Bracebridge Dinner last year, but with a bunch of people we've never met and will never see again in our lives. College.
SOOKIE: Anyone from town coming?
LORELAI: I don't know. People usually leave Stars Hollow at this time, hit the big city – Exeter.
SOOKIE: It would be fun to have everyone here again, though.
LORELAI: It's too late for that, though. We're nearly completely booked. (with a smile) Booming.
SOOKIE: Booming.
LORELAI: Booming! You know who else is booming, though – Luke.
SOOKIE: I think that's just his tough guy act.
LORELAI: No, Rory and I went in there yesterday and there was a party going on.
SOOKIE: Kool and the Gang?
LORELAI: Might as well have been. It was a bunch of people I didn't recognize. Luke is having parties there now.
SOOKIE: Don't tell me they were Luke's friends.
LORELAI: No, he's clearing times for the diner for parties and anniversaries and…times when I'm not allowed in there!
SOOKIE: He kicked you out?
LORELAI: No, but we couldn't stay. Or at least I couldn't stay. Rory disappeared with Jess, and there was no where to sit, so I just went home. Sat. Alone. In the dark.
SOOKIE: Now I see where Kirk's interest in you spawned from.
LORELAI: You're hilarious. You should go on tour, really. I'll book an agent right this very moment.
SOOKIE: I'm working now.
LORELAI: (starts to back towards door) Tonight, I will build you a brick wall to stand in front of, complete with molded egg yolk stuck to it as proof how hilarious you are.
SOOKIE: Bye.
LORELAI: I got more, lady. I'll be back! (goes through the door)
Cut to Gilmore house from the inside on Friday afternoon. The doorbell is ringing, and Rory is rushing down the steps to answer it. She opens the door to find Jess standing there.
RORY: Oh, it's you.
JESS: And with a welcome like that, who wouldn't be standing outside this house in the winter, just to get a glimpse of such a fair maiden?
RORY: You could've just used the key in the turtle.
JESS: Then I would've unfairly surprised you.
RORY: I like surprises.
JESS: Me too.
(they kiss)
RORY: I have your book, but it got a little messed up.
JESS: Define messed up.
RORY: You know that episode of "I Love Lucy" where…
JESS: So, what did you do to it?
RORY: I dropped it in the washing machine.
JESS: Nice.
RORY: Thank you. It wasn't intentional.
JESS: The obligatory 'It wasn't intentional'.
RORY: It wasn't.
JESS: Uh-huh.
RORY: Mom was working at the Inn late a few nights ago, so I was doing laundry, and in it fell.
JESS: So it was clean water, that's good.
RORY: Mm-hmm.
JESS: Did you like it?
RORY: No.
JESS: No?
RORY: No.
JESS: Why not?
RORY: Ford Madox Ford was such a snotty guy. I don't understand how anyone could tolerate him.
JESS: What does have to do with the book?
RORY: And I mean, come on – who has the same first and last name, except for on 'I Dream of Jeannie', and Marky Mark, but even that's not completely the same.
JESS: I see your point. Where's the book?
RORY: In my room, on the dresser. Do you still want to go into Hartford to catch a movie?
JESS: I'll tell you when I come back.
RORY: Must not be a tough decision then. (Runs back up the stairs)
JESS: Nope.
He walks into Rory's room and picks the book up off her dresser. He notices the bracelet Dean made for Rory behind her jewelry box.
Fade into scene of Emily's maid walking towards the door as the doorbell rings.
MAID: (Opens the door and receives the mail, including a medium-sized box) Mrs. Gilmore, Mr. Gilmore's package is here.
EMILY: (walks in from the next room) Thank you, Marcela. (picks up the box) Richard will be so glad to see these engraved paperweights for the Gilmore Group.
MAID: Gilmore Group of what?
EMILY: Never mind, Marcela. Just close the door. (she sorts through the mail cheerfully, but her smile fades when she comes across one specific envelope. A shot from over her shoulder shows the return address of Christopher and Sherrie. Emily begins to tear open the letter, then stops.) Oh, dear God. (sighs)
Cut to Lorelai and Rory in the living room that night getting ready to go to dinner. The faint sound of drums can be heard in the background.
LORELAI: Ugh, it was such a mess! It was like bubbles, and powder, and bananas. Sheer insanity (Rory is laughing)! It was like a scene out of that Rico Suave video.
RORY: And those are the worst scenes to see.
LORELAI: Michel was so trying not to cry.
RORY: And did he fail?
LORELAI: Miserably.
RORY: Well, it's a good thing that happened today and not on Christmas Day.
LORELAI: Oh, I know. I counted my lucky stars. I have fourteen.
RORY: Hmm.
LORELAI: I'll have to call Joe again about that new washing machine. God, those things are expensive.
RORY: You have to spend money to make money, Mom.
LORELAI: That's my little businesswoman. Ugh, Dave Thomas would be so proud.
RORY: That's just what I was thinking.
LORELAI: I assume you will be free Christmas Day.
RORY: Of course. I'm all yours.
LORELAI: Okay, good, because this will be quite a show at the Inn. This group…wow, I hear they're so good.
RORY: (shouting) But are they better than Lane's band?
LANE: (from Rory's bedroom) Never!
LORELAI: (shouting) Thatta girl!
RORY: If we were more high-tech we could have a webcast of Dave and the guys in Hartford playing and Lane here in Stars Hollow, a la Dana Carvey and U2 from the Video Music Awards.
LORELAI: A moment that will live in infamy.
RORY: I mean, who knew Dana had it in him?
LORELAI: No one, basically.
RORY: Exactly right.
Cut to Emily, Lorelai, and Rory at dinner that night.
LORELAI: (whispering) What is she doing? (Looks at the maid who is standing in the hallway watching them eat)
EMILY: I told her she wasn't needed, that she could go and sit and … tend to something.
LORELAI: What, like Little Bo Peep?
EMILY: No, like a maid should do.
LORELAI: What's her name?
EMILY: Marcela.
LORELAI: Marcela, hon, what's wrong?
MARCELA: (quietly) Nothing, I'm fine.
LORELAI: Well, really, we're okay, you can go … tend to something. We'll be fine.
MARCELA: Are you quite sure?
LORELAI: Quite, yeah, we are. (They all nod. She leaves) Wow, that is insecurity at its highest level.
RORY: How old is she?
LORELAI: Not old enough to work for Emily Gilmore, that's for sure.
EMILY: Oh, really, why is that?
LORELAI: She'll grow up fast, though. They all grow up fast.
EMILY: Lorelai, I'd like a word with you.
LORELAI: Oh, mom, I was just kidding about the growing up thing.
EMILY: In the kitchen, please.
LORELAI: Okay, I'll shelve that joke then. (smiles at Rory)
In the kitchen.
LORELAI: What is it, Mom?
EMILY: I received a piece of mail today.
LORELAI: Oh, really, from who?
EMILY: Christopher.
LORELAI: (pauses) That's funny, it's seems like I should be sending him packages. Like Anthrax packages.
EMILY: It was his wedding invitation.
LORELAI: (sighs, shakes her head)
EMILY: I'm not going to try to reunite the two of you again, don't worry. I just wanted to let you know, and you can talk to Rory about it.
LORELAI: Thank you, Mom. I really appreciate that.
EMILY: You're welcome. (pauses) I wish everything could have worked this one time.
LORELAI: Oh, I've heard that before.
EMILY: If that damn woman hadn't gotten pregnant―
LORELAI: It's not about Sherrie. With Christopher…it's always been about him. Something's always been screwy with him, and this was the final nail in the coffin of his screwiness. Even if Sherrie hadn't gotten pregnant. It doesn't matter anymore. It wouldn't have worked out.
EMILY: It would have been a nice picture. A perfect picture.
LORELAI: It was. For one day, everything really was.
EMILY: (sighs) We shouldn't leave Rory waiting.
LORELAI: Yeah. (Emily starts to walk away) Hey – can I see it?
EMILY: See what?
LORELAI: The invitation. I just…it would probably be good for me to see it. You know, put iodine on the wound, help it heal.
EMILY: That's a very interesting analogy.
LORELAI: He's still in the back of my mind, and I need to get him out of there.
EMILY: I'll get it for you.
LORELAI: Thanks. (goes back into the dining room).
RORY: What was that all about?
LORELAI: Oh, you know, just some mother-daughter stuff.
RORY: We're mother and daughter.
LORELAI: Thanks for the update, Tina.
RORY: You're welcome, Jimmy.
LORELAI: We'll talk about it in the car.
RORY: Ooh, Car talk.
LORELAI: Very serious business.
In the car.
RORY: Okay. In the car.
LORELAI: Seatbelt on?
RORY: Seatbelt on.
LORELAI: Door locked?
RORY: Door locked.
LORELAI: Confidence boosted?
RORY: What does that mean?
LORELAI: (pauses) Uh, well, the thing that your grandmother and I were talking about was that she received an invitation to your dad's wedding.
RORY: Oh.
LORELAI: And the two of you are getting along better than before, and I understand if you don't want to go still, but I'm still saying, you might just wanna have that, you know? To keep, to remember?
RORY: I get what you're saying.
LORELAI: You totally don't have to. Just…continue thinking about it.
RORY: What day?
LORELAI: February twelfth.
RORY: I think I'm in a turkey calling contest that day.
LORELAI: Hey, obligations.
RORY: It's just not right, you know? They're not getting married because they love each other; they're getting married so papa won't preach. That's not how it should happen. If Dad ever does get married some day to someone, it should be…you.
LORELAI: Rory.
RORY: And in every other situation he's totally lying to himself, and the world. You know that.
LORELAI: Well, you know what? You're right. It is wrong, morally, 21st-centuryally… thinking. But he's Christopher, you know? He's irresponsible, so he does what he thinks is responsible. They should make "Responsibility for Dummies", just for him.
RORY: He'd probably end up using the book as a plate.
LORELAI: Probably.
RORY: Or a fly-swatter.
LORELAI: Very true.
RORY: Or he'd make a paper hat, and pretend to be Yankee Doodle.
LORELAI: That's Christopher.
RORY: I don't even know how to feel about this anymore. He's my dad, I love him, but he makes it so hard sometimes. And I hate feeling guilty about not talking to him. But at the same time, why should I?
LORELAI: Hey, you don't have to explain. I totally get it.
RORY: (sighs) Now I feel all icky.
LORELAI: Me too.
RORY: We should go to Luke's.
LORELAI: I think it's a must.
Cut to Rory and Lorelai walking into a nearly empty Luke's.
LORELAI: Huh, well look at that. No one.
RORY: No, look: Jen and Barb for Bridge night.
LORELAI: Bridge night with two people. Bridge with two people. Huh. Bridge.
RORY: (sits on barstool) Hey, Luke.
LUKE: Hi, Rory. Lorelai.
LORELAI: Lucas.
RORY: Where's Jess?
LUKE: Upstairs.
RORY: Thanks. (goes up the stairs)
LUKE: (to Lorelai) What'll you have?
LORELAI: Just a burger and fries. To go.
LUKE: Coming right up.
LORELAI: I'll just go wait over here. (sits at a table and watches Luke as he prepares her meal, which he notices.)
LUKE: Something wrong?
LORELAI: With me? Oh, no. I'm just…tired.
LUKE: Aren't we all.
Upstairs
RORY: (knocks on door) Jess, it's me.
JESS: (opens door) Hey.
RORY: Hi. (she notices he's wearing a coat and gloves) Where are you going?
JESS: Out.
RORY: Out where?
JESS: Just for a walk.
RORY: Oh. It's just that it's kind of cold. Actually, really cold.
JESS: I'll live. (walks out the door)
RORY: Okay. (pause) Well, would you mind some company?
JESS: Sure.
(Rory watches him go down the steps with a look of confusion on her face)
Downstairs
LUKE: (sets down a box with 'Luke's' on it in front of Lorelai) There you go.
LORELAI: You know what? I changed my mind, I'm just going to eat it here.
LUKE: You're a fickle one.
LORELAI: I'm a woman.
LUKE: Ah.
LORELAI: Hey, Luke can I ask you about something?
LUKE: Sure.
LORELAI: When you―
(Jess comes from upstairs with Rory following him)
RORY: We're just gonna go for a quick walk around the block.
LORELAI: Okay, well stay warm.
RORY: We will. (They leave)
LORELAI: (clears her throat) Ah, where was I? Okay. Um, when you decided to open the diner to parties of all things…like, what was the, uh…reasoning behind that?
LUKE: Business.
LORELAI: I didn't realize that you were a businessman.
LUKE: Well, technically, since I own a business, I am.
LORELAI: Yeah, but I mean it's so not you.
LUKE: What's so not me?
LORELAI: Having…people in the diner.
LUKE: I repeat that I am a businessman, therefore, I need people to come and support my business.
LORELAI: I don't know. To me it just seemed out of nowhere.
LUKE: What do you mean out of nowhere?
LORELAI: Well, you didn't mention it to me, or to Rory, and it just seemed like a spontaneous sort of thing.
LUKE: Just because I didn't tell you?
LORELAI: I'm sorry, is that such a far-out concept?
LUKE: No, but I can make business decisions, as I am a businessman―
LORELAI: Enough with the businessman talk! If you're going to keep saying it, do it in those nine different dialects of Farsi you're so damn fluent in. (pauses) I just thought that…now I don't even remember what I thought.
LUKE: You're making it sound like I put your picture on the door with a big red 'X' over it.
LORELAI: Well, that sure would make things a lot clearer.
LUKE: Well, you know, I got a hammer and nails upstairs, and all I need is an 8 ½ by 11 photograph of yours, and you're done.
LORELAI: Thanks, I'll remember that.
LUKE: Good.
LORELAI: There's just so much changing around me, you know? Sookie is married. I'm not. Rory has a boyfriend. I don't. Rory will be going to college next year, and I'll still be here with the same life and the same everything, and she'll get to go and start her life and see everything I never saw and do everything I never did. And I love it here, and I have a good life, but it never changes where I want it to change, and everything gets twisted around where I want it to stay normal. And believe me, I know, I can be self-centered sometimes―
LUKE: No, really?
LORELAI: (laughs) But when I have no constants in my life, I just want one thing to not change. And Luke, you wear the same damn outfit every day, I mean you're constant.
LUKE: That's me – single white male, very constant.
LORELAI: And, I don't know. Everyone needs that, you know? And then you go and change my diner, my beautiful, beautiful diner!
LUKE: No, folks; she's not self-centered.
LORELAI: And it's like, 'Well, here are the Fates, all working together to just screw everything up for me.' And I just got to thinking, 'Well, this is the last straw. Luke's will be a franchise all across the nation with a special Luke's tower in Taipei, and then it'll be Lorelai who? And all of this was some evil scheme of someone's to just make everything even worse.
LUKE: Thank you, Richard Belzer.
LORELAI: And this thing with Chris…he's really going through with it. He's marrying that Princess Sherrie, and she's having her baby in a few weeks, and then, it's all over. I am so sick of complaining about it, and thinking about it, because it's like 'Pull yourself together. Get over it.' But I mean, how can I?
LUKE: I don't know.
LORELAI: Have you ever had to let someone go?
LUKE: Of course.
LORELAI: Sucks?
LUKE: Yeah, pretty much.
LORELAI: I wish there was a little guide to all this, because no, Diana, I don't know where I'm going to.
LUKE: Man, I hated that movie. I could've beat it with a stick.
LORELAI: Thank you for listening.
LUKE: You're welcome.
LORELAI: (smiles) I know this may sound a little selfish, Luke, but don't ever change. For me. I don't want to walk in here one day, and be served by a gypsy.
LUKE: No gypsies, got it.
LORELAI: I don't want to see you putting gel in your hair, or wearing hot pants, and wielding a bedazzler.
LUKE: I should probably return those Richard Simmons tapes then.
LORELAI: And I don't want you to serve tofurkey for Christmas dinner, 'cause that's just wrong.
LUKE: I'm making a mental note.
LORELAI: Okay. Goodnight.
LUKE: Goodnight. (Lorelai leaves)
Cut to Rory and Jess sitting on the bridge in silence.
RORY: Okay, can we just get one thing straight?
JESS: Sure.
RORY: When you are sitting here staring into the distance in the freezing cold, and you've barely said a word to me the whole time, does it mean that a) something else is bothering you, b) you're mad at me for something, c) or you're just continuing with the whole brooding thing from before?
JESS: Where are you going to college next year?
RORY: Or d) none of the above. I don't know. I have this feeling that the whole Harvard thing isn't going to work out.
JESS: Why not?
RORY: Because, it wasn't my idea in the first place, it was my mom's, and I guess I'm just starting to think more for myself.
JESS: Right.
RORY: Plus the distance is just too much. To drive back here on the weekends every weekend would just be too much. I'd miss everyone too much. I'd miss you.
JESS: (nods)
RORY: Yale's a really good school, and it's closer, and my grandfather went there. It's probably more practical.
JESS: More practical for what?
RORY: For me. For me to go to college and do the college stuff, but to still be here in Stars Hollow. I don't want to lose that.
JESS: So would it be more practical for me to stay here and wait for you, or would it be more practical for me to go back to New York?
RORY: What does that mean?
JESS: It means what it is. What do you want?
RORY: I-I don't even get where this is coming from.
JESS: Rory, you're going to college, and you act like nothing will change.
RORY: Nothing will change.
JESS: And you're deluding yourself if you believe that.
RORY: What, because I have a little faith that not everything turns out bad in the end?
JESS: You're treating this whole thing like it's so serious, yet you're solution is so simple.
RORY: What 'thing'? You and me?
JESS: Yes.
RORY: Oh, so this isn't serious? What am I, Shane #2?
JESS: Of course not.
RORY: Then why can't we make plans for next year?
JESS: (shakes his head)
RORY: What do you think is gonna happen?
JESS: The same thing that pushed us together. It's not like I was always here, Rory. You were with Dean, and you cheated on him; that's why you broke up.
RORY: So basically, you don't trust me.
JESS: It's not that.
RORY: Jess, since when are you so insecure?
JESS: The timing's just really bad, Rory.
RORY: I know that.
JESS: All that time went by from when you were with Dean, 'til after the summer, 'til now, and now it's like it's almost too late.
RORY: I get it.
JESS: I don't get why it took you so long to make up your mind.
RORY: I was confused.
JESS: And what are you now?
RORY: Not confused!
JESS: So if Dean hadn't broken up with you, where would you be right now? Still confused?
RORY: No!
JESS: Why do you still have that bracelet?
RORY: What bracelet?
JESS: The one that's on your dresser, the one Dean gave you.
RORY: (sighs) You are being really petty. (gets up and starts to walk away)
JESS: And you're avoiding the situation, as usual.
RORY: Fine. Why do I still have the bracelet? Because I liked it, and I didn't want to throw it away as some symbolic thing that it's over. I know it's over. And I don't regret anything I did, especially not being with you. But you are upset about so much more than some stupid bracelet, and if you are questioning my reasons for being with you, then I could do the same thing for you, because you are not like this. Dean was like this, but you aren't.
JESS: (sarcastically) And that's a good thing, that I'm not like Dean?
RORY: (shouting) What the hell do you want from me?
JESS: (sighs) I just don't want you to go.
RORY: (walks back over to him) I love you, too.