Duo,

I don't really know how to start this. Somebody told me that it's easier to say something if you write it down first, so I'm giving it a try.

I guess what I want to tell you in this letter is who I really am. So that there's less chance you'll hate me. Firstly, I suppose I wanted people to think I was antisocial and introverted. That way they don't get to know me. They don't get to hurt me. And I've been doing this for so long that when I tried to let you in, I'd forgotten how. You probably didn't even notice I was doing it, I'm so bad. Bur I did try to be you friend, I did. God did I try. I guess there was some point when I gave up trying, but I can't remember that now. Truth is, I'm a terrified, weak, wretched little boy. I should have never thought that anything could happen between us. I can't handle the consequences.

You were always so good at expressing your feelings; even if we didn't want to hear them. I've always admired that in you. But at least you felt something. I only felt nub and empty inside, like this body is just an empty shell. But I think that you've done something to me, even if I didn't want you to. You've changed me, Duo.

I thought that what I felt for you was purely platonic, and that that was a big enough thing for me to handle. And then last night happened. Truth is, I've never felt like this before in my life, and I'm scared. I know how I feel. I never thought in my wildest dreams that you would ever love me back, Duo.

But I don't deserve you. You're too good for me. And even if we did try to make it work, it wouldn't. We both have duties to this world, and we can't run away from them, regardless of how much we try. I can't let myself be happy, because I know that as soon as I start to get used to it, something will tear it away from me. And if somebody tore you away from me, I don't think that I would ever recover.

I've come to a decision- I won't tell you who helped me come to it because I know what you'll do to them: I'm leaving.

Please, just forget about me. By now I should be far away from you. I'm going to one of the colonies, so I can try and start over again. You won't be able to find me. My files have been deleted. To the world, I never existed.

I need you to tell everyone else for me that I'm leaving. Say I've been assigned somewhere else or something, but please don't tell them the real reason. It's been hard enough for me telling you why. I don't think I can handle the others knowing to.

So this is goodbye Duo. I expect you hate me by now, but this is best for the both of us, I promise. I could never do this if I didn't have the faintest glimmer of hope that it was.

I know you love happy endings. But some stories are doomed from the beginning.

Heero.