The Blood of my hands...

Disclamer: None of this characters is mine...

Author notes: This takes place during episode 7 during the funeral, warning OCCnes, bad grammar and spelling ahead...

It's raining...

The day is cold and gray...

Suits it well, today is the funeral of my men...

My men...

They were my responsability and they're dead now..

As a leader, I failed them.

As a heir, I failed to my name...

As a daughter, I failed you father...

Look at them...

Families and friends are here saying goodbye, mourning, crying...

But I wont cry...

I have no right

I shed tears already...

I cried when I was shooting them...

I wanted to cry when they gave me that gun and commanded me to finish them before they turned to ghouls... They ordered me...

Me

Integra Wingates Hellsing

But in my pride lies my weakness and strengh

I belived that Hellsing was invincible, and they paid for my mistakes dearly...

But I also lost something when I watched my men fall at my feet

I lost some of my confindence...

My faith

I walk away from the crown of orphans and widows...

I just can't take anymore to be around them.

Guilt is eating me inside..., is making me weak... and I hate weakness...

I wont ask forgiveness...

This is all my fault.

I deserve to be loathe

I know that Walter is worry for my well-being... He's waiting for me to enter in the limusine... He's just to polite to ask...

Also Alucard is worried, he didn't mock of me... He just stay in the shadows, watching me, protecting me in silence... Funny, I'm starting to miss his teasing...

This is just pathetic..., I'm acting as I was thirteen again. That I cannot allow... I'm a grow up now

The self-pity will disappear when the rain finish... I promise that...

I wont be broken... Not now, no ever...

Hellsing was not destroy, just damage... I will show them that a hurt lion is even more dangerus

And if Hellsing died someday, it will rise from its ashes as a phoenix and take revenge...

Tomorow will be a new day, and I will remain Hellsing...

It's my duty, my oath to the fallen soldairs...

I'm Integra Wingates Hellsing

Cold

Secure

Untouchable

Powerful

Yes...Tomorrow...

But now I allow myself to stand here alone and let the water washes away the blood in my hands...

End...

Jeezz, that was lame... Review if you want to... and flames are welcome too!...