Notes: Ok , the sixth part of Father and Son for you here, nothing much to
say again, except for, have fun reading!
Father and Son part 6
"So, you wanna tell me what the hell you were playing at back there"? Yamato asked as he passed Joe an ice pack for his eye. "It was nothing".
"Oh yeah, cos you always pop pills on the job". Yamato replied.
"Don't get involved Yamato".
"It's a bit late for that now". Yamato sat down beside Joe on the gurney.
"If I tell you Yamato, you'll just hate me".
"If you die from an OD I'll hate you, so I don't think you have that much to lose do you"? Joe sighed and felt tears come to his eyes. "Sora died". He muttered.
"I know, Ken told me, is that why you did this"?
"In a way, but, she died of a heart attack". Joe mumbled.
"That I didn't know, but didn't CPR or shocking work"? Yamato asked.
"They would've done". Joe said fighting back the tears. Yamato stared at Joe , not really knowing what to think. "What are you saying Joe"? Yamato looked seriously at his friend.
"I'm trying to say..she'd probably be alive by now..if I'd shocked her".
"You didn't shock her"? Yamato tried to hide his shock.
"I was mad at her, for what she did. I wasn't thinking straight. She started having a heart attack. I went in, and I got the paddles. Something in my mind told me, it would be so easier for her, you.everyone, if she just died. So...I did the shocks on the paddles, but I only shocked air. So, it looks like I did everything I could to save her..". Joe said, keeping his eyes on the floor. "You let her die"? Yamato asked.
"I did, I'm not proud of it".
"I suppose you did what you thought was best at the time". Yamato replied.
"Who are you trying to convince there Yama?, cos I sure as hell know I've done the wrong thing. If this gets out , it's my career over and the rest of my life in jail".
"I have to admit Joe, it is a little out of character for you".
"I don't know what came over me, it was just that train of thought for a second, and I just did it". Joe sighed deeply, wiping his eyes.
"To be honest, I don't exactly know what to do with this". Yamato leapt off the gurney. "I need to think about this, I'm not going to tell anyone, I think that's up to you". Yamato nodded and slipped out of the room. He wiped his forehead and sighed deeply. "Stupid idiot" He muttered to himself.
**
"Where's Daddy"? Tanoshii asked.
"He'll be back Tanoshii, he just had to work for a little while". Ken replied. The child sat up in bed and stared wide eyed at Ken. "Who are you?, where's Uncle Tai"? He asked.
"I'm one of your Daddy's friends, and Uncle Tai is right over there, sleeping". Ken pointed to the chair where Tai was still snoring softly. "I'm hungry". Tanoshii stated.
"Well, Tanoshii how does some fries sound"? Ken asked. He smiled at the young child.
"Cool"! Tanoshii replied smiling back.
"OK, well, let's go down to the cafeteria, I'll leave a note for Daddy and Uncle Tai so he knows where we are". Ken said as he scribbled down a note. He placed it on Tanoshii's pillow. "Look what you've got to drive around in"! Ken exclaimed as he brought in a wheelchair. "You want a ride"? Tanoshii nodded and Ken gently lifted the child and placed him down in the wheelchair. "OK, next stop, the cafeteria"! Ken said as he wheeled Tanoshii out of the room.
**
"Ok Hikemi what you got for me"? Yamato asked as he walked up to the desk.
"How's a bed sound"? Hikemi replied.
"What"?
"You need to rest and take it easy after what happened to you. It's been a tough couple of days for you and I don't want you collapsing with exhaustion". Hikemi said firmly.
"I'm fine, if I wasn't I wouldn't be here".
"Just take it easy Yamato". Hikemi replied. She snatched a chart out of Yamato's hands. "Fijasu can deal with that. Go back up to the ward and be with your son". She ordered.
"Fine, but if it gets any busy just page me ok"? Yamato sighed.
"I don't think I'll be doing that". Yamato was about to protest before the paramedics wheeled in another casualty. "Hytashi, where's Kido"? Hikemi asked.
"No idea chief". Hytashi replied. Yamato made his way over to the gurney.
"No Ishida, back off, if you want to help you can find Joe". Hikemi gently shoved Yamato out of the way and took the casualty into the nearest trauma room. Yamato sighed again and went to search for Joe.
**
Ken sipped his soda as he watched Tanoshii nibbled on a basket of French fries. He couldn't believe how much the child looked like his father. He was almost a carbon copy of Yamato. "Ken, where's Mummy"? Tanoshii asked, not looking up from the basket.
"Your mummy"? Ken asked, still in shock at the question.
"My mummy, we were in car but we had a crash". Tanoshii replied. "Where is she"? Ken hadn't the first idea how to explain death to a child as young as Tanoshii. It was a job he preferred to leave to one of the nurses. "Um, I'm not sure Tan". Ken replied quickly.
"Can we go and find her"? Tanoshii asked.
"How about, you finish up here first?, you can have some ice cream after if you want". Ken hoped to pacify the child long enough so he could work out how he was going to handle telling him about Sora. "Ok". Tanoshii said quietly. He turned back to his fries. Ken uttered a sigh of relief.
**
Yamato had searched all the places he could think of for Joe. He hadn't received any sign of him and his wasn't replying to any pages sent. The only place that remained was outside. Yamato grabbed a jacket and went outside to the ambulance bay. He scanned the bay for a few seconds before he spotted Joe sitting at the bottom of the fire escape. Yamato slowly wandered over and stood in front of Joe. Joe looked up. "They're looking for you in there". Yamato said as he took a seat next to Joe.
"Let them". Joe sighed.
"Look Joe, you made a mistake, admittedly it was quite a big one, I'm not gonna lie to you. The thing is, you weren't thinking straight. You'd had a tough shift and to make things worse you had to cope with the stress of trying to save a life of someone you knew. You didn't know what you were doing, and what's more, you already realize you made a mistake".
"How can I forgive myself though"?
"Y'know when I first came here, I made a mistake like you. Don't you remember"?
"Not really".
"I was just a naïve med student. A patient came in, and he was given to me. I thought I was doing great, I was over confident, he died. I'd failed to check for something I should've done. I was lazy and thanks to my laziness he died. Hikemi tried to convince me it was an easy mistake to make, in so many words, she meant it was all my fault. I'm lucky I wasn't throw out for that one".
"I remember that". Joe replied.
"Yeah, you see, we all make mistakes, you made one. It's tragic she died, but you have to let go".
"I murdered her"! Joe fought to not yell it out loud. "You think it's so easy to forget"!
"I didn't say it was easy to forget. Joe, it's happened and no matter what you think about it, it's done. Nothing or nobody can ever change that. So you can either stay stuck in your own guilt and let it slowly destroy you, or you can realize you made a bad mistake and forgive yourself. You did what you thought was the right thing at the time, believe me Joe, you're not the first Angel of mercy".
"I'm sorry Yama".
"Here". Yamato stood up and dug into the pockets of his jacket. He pulled out a dollar and handed it to Joe. Joe looked at him as if to ask why. "Here's a dollar. You can catch the subway, use it to go home, or use it to come back tomorrow". Yamato said as he walked off. Joe stared at the crisp note in his hand. A small smile creeped onto his lips. "Hey Yama"! He shouted across the ambulance bay. Yamato turned around. "See ya tomorrow"!
"It's a date"! Yamato yelled back with a smile.
Father and Son part 6
"So, you wanna tell me what the hell you were playing at back there"? Yamato asked as he passed Joe an ice pack for his eye. "It was nothing".
"Oh yeah, cos you always pop pills on the job". Yamato replied.
"Don't get involved Yamato".
"It's a bit late for that now". Yamato sat down beside Joe on the gurney.
"If I tell you Yamato, you'll just hate me".
"If you die from an OD I'll hate you, so I don't think you have that much to lose do you"? Joe sighed and felt tears come to his eyes. "Sora died". He muttered.
"I know, Ken told me, is that why you did this"?
"In a way, but, she died of a heart attack". Joe mumbled.
"That I didn't know, but didn't CPR or shocking work"? Yamato asked.
"They would've done". Joe said fighting back the tears. Yamato stared at Joe , not really knowing what to think. "What are you saying Joe"? Yamato looked seriously at his friend.
"I'm trying to say..she'd probably be alive by now..if I'd shocked her".
"You didn't shock her"? Yamato tried to hide his shock.
"I was mad at her, for what she did. I wasn't thinking straight. She started having a heart attack. I went in, and I got the paddles. Something in my mind told me, it would be so easier for her, you.everyone, if she just died. So...I did the shocks on the paddles, but I only shocked air. So, it looks like I did everything I could to save her..". Joe said, keeping his eyes on the floor. "You let her die"? Yamato asked.
"I did, I'm not proud of it".
"I suppose you did what you thought was best at the time". Yamato replied.
"Who are you trying to convince there Yama?, cos I sure as hell know I've done the wrong thing. If this gets out , it's my career over and the rest of my life in jail".
"I have to admit Joe, it is a little out of character for you".
"I don't know what came over me, it was just that train of thought for a second, and I just did it". Joe sighed deeply, wiping his eyes.
"To be honest, I don't exactly know what to do with this". Yamato leapt off the gurney. "I need to think about this, I'm not going to tell anyone, I think that's up to you". Yamato nodded and slipped out of the room. He wiped his forehead and sighed deeply. "Stupid idiot" He muttered to himself.
**
"Where's Daddy"? Tanoshii asked.
"He'll be back Tanoshii, he just had to work for a little while". Ken replied. The child sat up in bed and stared wide eyed at Ken. "Who are you?, where's Uncle Tai"? He asked.
"I'm one of your Daddy's friends, and Uncle Tai is right over there, sleeping". Ken pointed to the chair where Tai was still snoring softly. "I'm hungry". Tanoshii stated.
"Well, Tanoshii how does some fries sound"? Ken asked. He smiled at the young child.
"Cool"! Tanoshii replied smiling back.
"OK, well, let's go down to the cafeteria, I'll leave a note for Daddy and Uncle Tai so he knows where we are". Ken said as he scribbled down a note. He placed it on Tanoshii's pillow. "Look what you've got to drive around in"! Ken exclaimed as he brought in a wheelchair. "You want a ride"? Tanoshii nodded and Ken gently lifted the child and placed him down in the wheelchair. "OK, next stop, the cafeteria"! Ken said as he wheeled Tanoshii out of the room.
**
"Ok Hikemi what you got for me"? Yamato asked as he walked up to the desk.
"How's a bed sound"? Hikemi replied.
"What"?
"You need to rest and take it easy after what happened to you. It's been a tough couple of days for you and I don't want you collapsing with exhaustion". Hikemi said firmly.
"I'm fine, if I wasn't I wouldn't be here".
"Just take it easy Yamato". Hikemi replied. She snatched a chart out of Yamato's hands. "Fijasu can deal with that. Go back up to the ward and be with your son". She ordered.
"Fine, but if it gets any busy just page me ok"? Yamato sighed.
"I don't think I'll be doing that". Yamato was about to protest before the paramedics wheeled in another casualty. "Hytashi, where's Kido"? Hikemi asked.
"No idea chief". Hytashi replied. Yamato made his way over to the gurney.
"No Ishida, back off, if you want to help you can find Joe". Hikemi gently shoved Yamato out of the way and took the casualty into the nearest trauma room. Yamato sighed again and went to search for Joe.
**
Ken sipped his soda as he watched Tanoshii nibbled on a basket of French fries. He couldn't believe how much the child looked like his father. He was almost a carbon copy of Yamato. "Ken, where's Mummy"? Tanoshii asked, not looking up from the basket.
"Your mummy"? Ken asked, still in shock at the question.
"My mummy, we were in car but we had a crash". Tanoshii replied. "Where is she"? Ken hadn't the first idea how to explain death to a child as young as Tanoshii. It was a job he preferred to leave to one of the nurses. "Um, I'm not sure Tan". Ken replied quickly.
"Can we go and find her"? Tanoshii asked.
"How about, you finish up here first?, you can have some ice cream after if you want". Ken hoped to pacify the child long enough so he could work out how he was going to handle telling him about Sora. "Ok". Tanoshii said quietly. He turned back to his fries. Ken uttered a sigh of relief.
**
Yamato had searched all the places he could think of for Joe. He hadn't received any sign of him and his wasn't replying to any pages sent. The only place that remained was outside. Yamato grabbed a jacket and went outside to the ambulance bay. He scanned the bay for a few seconds before he spotted Joe sitting at the bottom of the fire escape. Yamato slowly wandered over and stood in front of Joe. Joe looked up. "They're looking for you in there". Yamato said as he took a seat next to Joe.
"Let them". Joe sighed.
"Look Joe, you made a mistake, admittedly it was quite a big one, I'm not gonna lie to you. The thing is, you weren't thinking straight. You'd had a tough shift and to make things worse you had to cope with the stress of trying to save a life of someone you knew. You didn't know what you were doing, and what's more, you already realize you made a mistake".
"How can I forgive myself though"?
"Y'know when I first came here, I made a mistake like you. Don't you remember"?
"Not really".
"I was just a naïve med student. A patient came in, and he was given to me. I thought I was doing great, I was over confident, he died. I'd failed to check for something I should've done. I was lazy and thanks to my laziness he died. Hikemi tried to convince me it was an easy mistake to make, in so many words, she meant it was all my fault. I'm lucky I wasn't throw out for that one".
"I remember that". Joe replied.
"Yeah, you see, we all make mistakes, you made one. It's tragic she died, but you have to let go".
"I murdered her"! Joe fought to not yell it out loud. "You think it's so easy to forget"!
"I didn't say it was easy to forget. Joe, it's happened and no matter what you think about it, it's done. Nothing or nobody can ever change that. So you can either stay stuck in your own guilt and let it slowly destroy you, or you can realize you made a bad mistake and forgive yourself. You did what you thought was the right thing at the time, believe me Joe, you're not the first Angel of mercy".
"I'm sorry Yama".
"Here". Yamato stood up and dug into the pockets of his jacket. He pulled out a dollar and handed it to Joe. Joe looked at him as if to ask why. "Here's a dollar. You can catch the subway, use it to go home, or use it to come back tomorrow". Yamato said as he walked off. Joe stared at the crisp note in his hand. A small smile creeped onto his lips. "Hey Yama"! He shouted across the ambulance bay. Yamato turned around. "See ya tomorrow"!
"It's a date"! Yamato yelled back with a smile.