Too Sexy Versions One and Two
YES THERE ARE TWO VERSIONS!
DISLAIMER: I don't own GW, or anything in, around, or associated with it. But can't I have Trowa? PLEEEASE? No? Okay... anyway, the song isn't mine either. I don't know the artists name or anything else about it except that it's on Drew's Famous Party Music -Those Were the Days, and the Viktor Petrenko skated to it. If anyone knows the artist's name or anything please tell me.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Er, I've only read 3 songfics in my time and have written only a couple of others, so bear with me. Also, this version is a squicky fic and you can blame it on Q-Sama! It's HER fault! Anyway, version 2 is NOT squicky (at least in my opinion), so to unsquick yourself read it. Pretty much the same words are used in both but some vast changes were made to it and it's more detailed. Something in me REFUSED to go there with version ONE. *shudder* Other warnings... non-yaoi, and ah, hentai aspects are in both. (Depends on who you ask really). The song has been edited to suit my evil purposes, so it SUPPOSED to be missing lyrics. Now I give you... HOWARD and "Too Sexy".
TOO SEXY VERSION ONE
A.C.195 PEACEMILLION
~I'm too sexy for my love
Too sexy for my love
Love, love come to me~
Noin made her way down the halls to Howard's quarters. She had asked Sally to try and get hold of him since he hadn't been answering any of their calls. She figured he was still asleep. He had been working pretty hard lately. However, Sally had not reported back yet. So worried, she decided to see what was going on. As she finally rounded her last corner to his room she found Sally standing in front of the door, peering inside the room, as very, very old music vibrated from within. As she finally finished her descent down the hallway to the door she tapped Sally on the shoulder. Sally jumped and turned to look at Noin with a horrified expression.
"What's wrong? Why haven't you..."
Sally held a hand to stop her speech and put a finger to her lips. "Shhhh!" She pointed inside the room and finished saying, "I couldn't bring myself to..." She stopped and shook her head and pointed inside the room again, "Just look,"
Noin gave her a confused expression then peered inside the room. Her eyes got wide when she took in the scene. Howard was standing in the middle of the room with a hat on, his pajama's shirt unbuttoned and was dancing quite profusely to the song playing. Both women's eyes got larger at the next lyrics and Howard's reaction to it.
~I'm too sexy for my shirt
Too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts~
Shaking his body seductively he slid the shirt off leaving it pooled on the floor. He extended one arm out, put the other on his hip, his head to the side and did two quick abdominal thrusts forward.
"Oh my..."Noin started.
"God." Sally finished.
Howard did a fast spot spin across the floor until he came to a pole in the room. He grabbed it and started dancing dirtily against it as the music continued.
~I'm a marvel
You know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk
On the catwalk
I do my little turn on the catwalk~
Howard turned around and as he continued shaking his hips he slid down the pole while his hands gripped at it into a backbend, his eyes closed and mouth open as if in deep pleasure. He rolled himself back up and turned his back to them and made steering motions as he danced forward.
"You know, he's not that bad..." Sally commented as she watched. Noin nodded her head.
~I'm too sexy for my car
Too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far~
Noin and Sally found themselves coming into the room more and more as he continued. Their mouths open and eyes fixed on the sweaty, dancing figure in front of them.
~I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat
What'cha think about that?~
Howard threw the hat away and kicked high in the air, spun and stopped with his back to them. He put his hands on his hips and shook them.
~I'm a marvel
You know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk
On the catwalk
Yeah, I shake my little tush on the catwalk~
Howard did a grind to the floor but didn't stop there. He continued his thrusts on the floor as if a lover was placed right on top of him. The women's eyes got wider and to their surprise they started panting.
~Too sexy for my -
Too sexy for my -~
He sat up and did a fast spin on his knees, then with quick footwork, danced across the floor in an exotic dancer's fashion.
~I'm a marvel
You know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk
On the catwalk
Yeah, I shake my little tush on the catwalk~
Howard came to the iron post on the bedframe and jumped on the bed and started brushing his cheek against it like a cat, as he rubbed his body against the post. Noin pulled at her collar and whispered, "Is it getting hot in here?"
"Oh, yeah..." Sally answered not pulling her eyes away from the man in front of her.
~I'm too sexy for my cat
Too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy
Poor pussycat~
Howard next extended his fingers in a rigid clawing motion and ran them down the post. He slid his hands back up the post and after some gyrating motions wrapped his leg around it and swung to the floor.
~I'm too sexy for my love
Too sexy for my love
Love, love going to leave me~
He danced back to the middle of the room. Noin and Sally both said in one voice as they breathed hard," I want him." They looked at each other then at Howard as he struck a pose.
~I'm too sexy for this song~
Noin and Sally looked around and realized they were in the room. They ran back outside in the hall. Sally looked at Noin.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she asked.
A sly smile came to Noin's lips. "I think so."
Howard stepped out at that moment in his everyday clothes.
"Sally and Miss Noin, do you need something?" he asked surprised to find them there.
The women looked at each other exchanging feral grins.
"YES!" they answered together and ran forward, grabbing his hands pulling him back into the bedroom.
~~~END OF VERSION ONE~~~
*shudder* I feel sick. I hate the fact that when I read or write something I'm able to visualize it so easily sometimes... *shudder* Anyway, on with version two.
TOO SEXY VERSION TWO
DISCLAIMER: I don't own GW or "Too Sexy". Don't sue me. That should do it.
PG RATED WARNING: Yes...look at the title loves.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you have made it this far I applaud you. Okay this is version 2. Vast changes have been made. Non-yaoi, OOC, and slightly perverse. And for the record, I have NEVER been to a strip bar! And yes these are supposed to be amusing. Now I give you Trowa and "Too Sexy"...
A.C.197 QUATRE'S ESTATE
Quatre and Relena had, after several talks together, decided to invite many of the people they knew to a 2 day party held in one of Quatre's estates. Sally, Noin, Sylvia Noventa, Lady Une, and several of Quatre's sisters were among the invited, as were all the Gundam pilots.
Relena, Noin, Sally, Sylvia, and Lady Une had heard a rumor about Trowa, and in a mass of giggling and hushes, made their way to his room. When they finally stood in front of the doors Sylvia asked Relena, "Do you think it's true?"
"Only one way to find out." Relena answered and after a harsh hush began to open the door enough for them all to see within.
"But an exotic dancer? He left the circus to become an exotic dancer?" Lady Une whispered to Noin.
She shrugged. 'The boys said he practices his routines late at night. Well, it's 2am, it seems late to me. So we should find out."
As the girls looked in they saw a light was on in the bathroom, and finally Trowa came out, his shirt unbuttoned, a stylish hat on his head, and his jeans as tight and body clinging as ever.
"Oooooh." purred Sylvia after looking at him.
"Shhh... now is the moment of truth. Look." Relena said and nodded at Trowa.
Trowa crossed the room and flipped on the dimmest lights to the room, then went to the CD player and put in a CD that was laying out, then pressed play. He walked in front of a mirror and struck a pose that seeped of cockiness, and sexual tension.
"Think he's any good?" Sally asked to anyone who would answer.
"Oh...most likely." Lady Une said in a tone that had them all staring at her with big eyes and the question "How would you know?" on their lips.
Finally the music started playing and all faces were drawn to the figure in the middle of the room.
~I'm too sexy for my love
Too sexy for my love
Love, love come to me!
Trowa began vibrating his hips and neck to the music as he ran a hand through his hair. He did a spin as the music came to life. All the girls mouths dropped open at the sight.
~I'm too sexy for my shirt
Too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts~
Trowa did a backbend as his vibrations shook his shirt off and he had a peculiar smile on his face. He thrashed his head back and forth and rolled back up. He did a kick in the air and several bump and grinds as he made his way across the floor to one of the posts on the bedframe. He grabbed it with both hands, wrapped a leg around the bottom half, leaned away from it, and closing his eyes started thrusting at it. He continued this as he slowly leaned forward away from the post.
~I'm a marvel
You know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk
On the catwalk
Yeah, I do my little turn on the catwalk~
Sylvia whimpered as she watched. Relena licked her lips.
"I want to be that pole." Noin said behind them.
Trowa turned around shaking his hips and slid down the post, his hands gripping at the wood, arching his back as he came to his knees. The girls whimpered as they watched and looked at his open mouth, his eyes closed and expression one of erotic pleasure. He rolled himself back up and turned his back to them. He danced away form the post and made steering motions as he continued his dance of enticement.
The girls found themselves coming further and further into the room, eyes transfixed on the young, muscular, gleaming body dancing in front of them.
~I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat
What'cha think about that?
Trowa threw the hat off and put his hands on his hips, cocked his head to right side and thrust twice. Noin found herself to be the direction the hat was going in. She raised her hand and caught it without thinking. Trowa kicked high in the air, spun and again back to them, swayed his hips.
~I'm a marvel
You know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk
On the catwalk
Yeah, I shake my little tush on the catwalk~
He did a grind to the floor and didn't stop until he laid flat down. He bent his knees up, and spread his legs apart as he rubbed his hands down his chest to his jeans. The girls were going crazy when they saw him unbutton and unzip them and peel them off revealing red bikini underwear, all the while he continued to thrust in the air as if a lover was on top of him. His eyes were closed knowing nothing but the music.
~Too sexy for my--
Too sexy for my--~
"Ahhh..." Noin whimpered out.
Trowa opened his eyes and twisted his head up to see an upside down image of the girls in his room. With a sly smile he sat up, did a fast spin on his knees and with quick but erotic movements and footwork danced his way across the floor to Noin. He grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the group to the floor. The others were breathing hard and getting really hot.
~I'm a marvel
You know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk
On the catwalk
Yeah, I shake my little tush on the catwalk~
Trowa wrapped Noin's leg around him, grabbed her tightly around the waist and pulled her as close against his body as he could, then began his exotic dance against her as she held on to him around the neck whimpering and moaning. Trowa drew his face to hers and with an open mouth breathed hot air against her face as he kept his lips teasingly lingering inches from hers, all the while keeping his hips working against her. Noin's hands began sliding down his back and Trowa's expression grew into a sly smile. Gently, he pulled away from her and stepped around her. Just as he had done to the post he clutched her hips and ground to his knees then came back up again. He took her hand and gave her quick spin and all at once danced away from her back to the post. He jumped on the bed and as he rubbed his body against it, he brushed his cheek along the post like a cat, sliding his hands along the wood.
~I'm too sexy for my cat
Too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy
Poor pussycat~
Trowa's fingers became roughly edged imitating a scratching motion, sliding his fingertips down the post. He ran his hand back up it and after more gyrating motions wrapped his leg around it and swung to the floor.
~I'm too sexy for my love
Too sexy for my love
Love, love going to leave me~
Trowa danced past a spellbound Noin to the center of the room where he started.
All the young ladies said as one, "I want him."
All looked at each other and exchanged knowing looks then back up at Trowa as he struck his final pose. His arms crossed over his chest, legs spread apart, and a smirk on his face. As one the aroused women made a dash forward and tackled Trowa, sending him to the floor.
~I'm too sexy for this song~
~~~~END VERSION TWO~~~~
Wufei: *looks at author's note* You call THAT only SLIGHTLY perverse?
Calla: I was bored.
Quatre: We should never had let her watch "The Chippendales Murder".
Trowa: You guys are just jealous because you can't do it.
Wufei: I can't think of WHY I'd WANT to!