Disclaimer: *Hugs 'Squire' to chest* The book is mine!!! Mine!!! No I
didn't write it... I never said that I owned the whole series in general
thing! I said I own the book! I bought it for like $17 at the local barns
and noble. OK? No copyright rights! Get it, baka? (Baka is Japanese for
idiot, which you really must be if you actually believed that I owned
copyright stuff to TP books) Um... yeah.
Thanks go to: Trisana McGraw, the person who left it blank, Phoebe, LaughingGasGirl, Angel of the Storms (don't parents suck?), sovereign, charlotte, tigerlily, KeladryLadyKnight, Lady Katharine Heartspark, Faithful, Lady Rogue (Thank you soooo much for the idea for the next chapter!!!! I wrote it, it's almost 9 pages long!), the person that left it blank again *grinz*, SquireKali (marshmallows sound nice...), the third person that left it blank (can't you people think of temporary names or something? It would make this a lot easier...^_^), The Blind Assassin, CrystalRose, Snow*flake (so proud of you! ^_~), and White-Wolf. Wow. I never thought I would have to write a list that long... Not that I mind of course...
Rebound - Chapter 4 - Revealed Truths
Kel watched Neal leave from her doorway; she continued to watch him as he made his way across the carpeted halls, past windows with brightly colored tapestries and curtains, beyond locked doors that held secrets inside. She swallowed hard and shut her eyes firmly, trying to manage some kind of a grasp on Neal's behavior.
What had he meant by kissing her? Was it just a friendly kiss? The way he had spoken to her when he said goodbye screamed otherwise, but then again, this was Neal. Neal always went for the pretty court girls, not the Yamani Lump. She had endured many of Neal's crushes towards those court ladies, in fact.
Why would Neal feel something toward her now? Was it because she and Cleon had broken it off? That was true, but Neal didn't know about Raoul. She couldn't just jilt her feelings for Raoul because there was a slight chance that Neal loved her.
And what did she feel toward Neal? She had had a crush on him ever since her second year as a page, but that had gradually gone away. True, it had evolved into a crush on his cousin Dom, but it still had gone away. He was her friend, her best friend even. He had offered to be her sponsor when everyone else might have driven her away. She would die for him, she knew, but could she love him?
And what of Raoul? He was the one she had given herself to. And now only a half day later, she was feeling things for someone else? It wouldn't be fair to either of us not to give this relationship a chance, especially since it was already underway. She dare not say that she loved him, at least not in a non-platonic way. She was affectionate toward him, was passionate about him to be sure. Love, however, was something that would take time. For Mithros sake, she had only discovered that she even like him "that way" a night ago.
Kel groaned as she pulled out of the doorway and shut the door. Making her way to the bed, she laid down. This was going to take a while.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Cleon listened to the endless drone of his betrothed, at least trying to look as if he were interested in whatever she was talking about. He had lost track somewhere around Lady Miranda's new hair color. They were in the palace's newly established rose garden.
Meaningless jabbering, was all it was. At least with Kel, they talked about exciting things, like jousting and Scanrans.
'Kel,' he thought longingly. 'How I wish I could hold you in my arms. Comfort you in whatever way possible. You are and forever will be my eternal sunrise, the warmth in the cold, frigid tombs of winter.'
He looked up when he realized that his betrothed was staring at him.
"What was that, love? I'm sorry, I missed what you had said," Cleon stated with an apologetic grin. Kitiara smiled weakly back.
"I said, did you hear about Sir Keladry, the lady knight?" Cleon raised his eyebrows in interest. Finally, a piece of gossip that intrigued him.
"No, what about her? Any news of her?" Cleon hoped that it wasn't anything bad.
"My dear, didn't you train to be a knight with her?" Kitiara asked. Cleon shrugged his shoulder impatiently and nodded with barely concealed anticipation.
"Yes, well, anyway, getting back to the subject, a very close friend of my mother's, Lady Marie, had gone to breakfast this morning at that highly exclusive restaurant, The Chevalier, with some friend of hers. Well, when she was there, she saw Lady Keladry and the knight commander of the King's Own, Sir Raoul dining together."
Cleon faked a look of nonchalance, while inside, he was a mix of confused emotions. He should be happy that Kel was up and about after so long, shouldn't he? Yes, he was happy about that, but what about Raoul? Then again, he remembered, he was her former knight master. It was ridiculous to think that-
"Apparently, they were seen kissing. And let me tell you, Lady Marie is not one to lie about things like this. It's a bit preposterous to think of those two as together, considering the age difference, but I think it's romantic. From what I heard, she and another one of the knights-in-training were courting, but he broke it off abruptly. She was left a bit devastated. I think it's sweet how Raoul came to her rescue and swept her off her feet. Did you hear anything about that, my dear?" Kitiara saw Cleon stiffen, but continued to look at him expectantly.
When he spoke, Cleon's voice came out shakily. "Are you sure that this Marie woman is reliable?" he asked slowly, his speech full of barely contained insecurity.
"Why, yes, she has been known to unmask many a true affair among nobles. Quite reliable, she is." Cleon put his head in his hands and massaged his temple to alleviate his growing headache.
"Sunshine, will you excuse me for a bit. I'm feeling a bit ill and I think I'll go back to my rooms now. Allergies, I suppose." Cleon stood up unsteadily. Kitiara rose to her feet at once.
"Oh, Cleon, are you all right? Do you want me to walk you to your rooms?" she asked, Cleon's resentment for the girl growing by the minute.
"No, Kit, I'm sure I'll be fine. Why don't you go join some other ladies so you can have a more intelligent conversation (A/N: *cough intelligent yeah right cough*)."
Kitiara's brows creased in worry, but she bid him farewell, and told him to go down to the healers if his symptoms got any worse.
Cleon walked through the halls of the palace almost aimlessly. His mysterious ailment was definitely not allergies. He felt sick to his stomach to think that someone would gossip about his Kel like that.
His Kel.
He had to stop calling her that.
She wasn't his Kel anymore. She probably never would be his Kel ever again. Maybe Neal's, or according to Kit (A/N: *cough whore cough*), Raoul's, but never his.
His decision to break it off with her had been a struggle - war, he mentally corrected himself - between his head and his heart. He loved Kel to a point where it hurt. Mithros, he had loved her since before she was a bloody squire. When he heard the news that he was betrothed to that dull court lady, Kitiara, he had tried his best to put on a brave face and tell his mother he couldn't marry the girl. His mother, however, had been staying and fief Kennen at the time, and when he rode up there and saw his people starving... He couldn't let them die out of his own selfishness.
It was the hardest decision of his life and he still had to constantly remind himself why he did it.
He had done his best to comfort her. He had thought she was going to be strong, like she always was. In that aspect, he was completely wrong. He had never seen Kel cry before, and it certainly was a bit of a wake-up call. (A/N: I'm not sure if he had seen Kel cry before. I don't think so. Considering I'll have to get up off my chair to get squire and read it all the way through to find out, I'll take the chance of writing something that is wrong. ^_^') He had held her and made love to her for the first and last time, and then walked away when the night was over. (A/N: In the first chapter, I said he had finally given into his passions or something like that in the first or second paragraph. It was kinda small so I didn't know if all you caught it *grins sheepishly*) He supposed it wasn't the best thing he could have done, but...
And what was this of Kel and Raoul kissing? She would never do something like that. Kel always planned things; she always thought before she acted. Then again she was locked in her rooms for two weeks. That was plenty of time to think on it...
'Shut up,' he told the doubting voice inside his head. 'Kel would never do something like that. She would never do that to me...'
'But she isn't yours anymore,' the voice insisted. 'Why wouldn't she?' Cleon silenced the voice, but, unfortunately, it had raised some doubts in his mind. Besides, he wanted to at least be friends with Kel, even though he always would want more. He should apologize to her and maybe try to get her to forgive him. Resolutely, he set off toward Kel's rooms.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Kel woke up when she heard a knock on her door. Willing herself to sleep had made her forget about Neal and Raoul for a brief period of time, but it was enough. Getting up she headed towards the door and opened it. "Oh, hello, Raoul," she said sleepily. "Come in." She opened the door for the slightly taller man and he stepped inside, closing it behind her. "So, how may I help you?"
Raoul looked at her tensely and went toward the shelves she kept for maps and books. He pulled out a large map of Tortall and the areas surrounding it. Spreading it out on a nearby table, he motioned Kel to come near him. Frowning, Kel obliged his signaling and went to stand next to him.
"What is it?" she asked, eyebrows burrowing in confusion.
Raoul pointed to a spot on the map. "Here," he gestured. "Scanran troops. And here, here and here," he said, pointing to various other spots on the borders of Tortall, Tusaine, Galla and Scanra.
Kel looked up in alarm. "So many? How'd they get to the other side of the Drell?"
"Not sure," Raoul answered. "Perhaps force, perhaps not. We don't know."
"How many in all?" Kel asked.
Raoul's frown deepened. "Maybe five-thousand on the Drell. More on the Scanran border." Kel took in a sharp breath. Five-thousand soldiers, armed? That was enough to fight a war-
"We're going to war?" she said numbly as she read between the lines. Raoul turned to her and nodded.
"I'm afraid so, my dear. Jon has already sent word to all the major fiefs."
Kel walked over to her bed, allowing her shoulders to slump. "So it has come to this. My first war..." her voice trailed off. Raoul looked on at her with soft eyes, folded the map up and went to sit down next to her.
"It was bound to happen sometime, I suppose. Things just kept getting rougher and rougher with the Scanrans. It was the inevitable thing, really." Raoul's voice was soft and warm, compassionate to her insecurities and doubts. He pulled her close and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Kel leaned up against him closed her eyes. Things were so easy when it was like this. Tilting her head up, she met with Raoul's gentle eyes, and allowed herself to drown in them as his lips met hers.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Cleon was nervous. It would be the first time he had seen her since that one, passionate night they had shared before they had broken up. How would she react? Would she be upset? 'Of course she'll be upset, man, you broke her heart into a few hundred different pieces. She has every right to be upset.'
Cleon stopped in his tracks, suddenly unsure about what he wanted to do. He didn't want to make things worse, after all. He loved Kel and didn't want to see her madder at him than she already was. Still, he wouldn't know until he talked to her...
Determined, full with new resolve, he walked faster toward her rooms.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
The kiss was gentle and fully of compassion. Raoul deepened it, kissing her passionately, hungrily. Kel matched his warmth and ardor with her own, opening her mouth to let her tongue slip into his mouth...
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Cleon marched closer to Kel's rooms, moving quickly and full of purpose. He would fix this, in whatever way he could.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Kel felt her resistance slip as Raoul firmly held close to his chest, biting at her neck in quick nips, causing her to gasp. She felt him push her down to the bed so that he was on top of her as he worked the clasps of her shirt off. Moving his lips back to her mouth, he began to kiss her again...
Kel heard the doorknob turned. As it opened, she could only close her eyes and curse herself for not locking it.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Cleon felt his heart stop. His throat constricted; he could not speak. His jaw quivered as his brain numbly acknowledged that Raoul was on top of Kel, her shirt unclasped and open, kissing her. He took in one ragged breath as both turned toward him, both frozen with dread.
He swallowed. Hard. Seconds passed that seemed like eons to the three of them.
Then turning, Cleon turned around, shut the door, and walked calmly to the end of the corridor. Once there, he ran blindly, not looking back, just drowning himself in his own sorrow.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
A/N: Woah. I'm getting pretty good at building suspense. *cough* Anyway... things got kinda dirty between Kel and Raoul, ne? Hehe... Well, I hope you liked it. Especially the suspense part. I'm quite proud of it. I felt bad for Cleon :'( He really did love Kel and wasn't just an ass, as Neal so fondly put it. I hate to do that to him, but it's good stuff! Well, I want to know what you think about the whole K/N/R triangle thing. Unfortunately for all you Cleon fans, he won't be part of Kel's love life anymore. Maybe just a friend, if Kel decides to forgive him. *grins hopefully* I love Cleon, I really do, but I don't think he's the right person for Kel anymore. (I used to, though. ^_^) For you Neal fans, don't worry. Neal will get his chance next chapter, thanks to an idea from Lady Rogue. (Thanx soooo much!!) Please review and tell me what you think! Your feedback has been outstanding, let me tell you. Please keep it up! ^_^
*~Cami~*
Thanks go to: Trisana McGraw, the person who left it blank, Phoebe, LaughingGasGirl, Angel of the Storms (don't parents suck?), sovereign, charlotte, tigerlily, KeladryLadyKnight, Lady Katharine Heartspark, Faithful, Lady Rogue (Thank you soooo much for the idea for the next chapter!!!! I wrote it, it's almost 9 pages long!), the person that left it blank again *grinz*, SquireKali (marshmallows sound nice...), the third person that left it blank (can't you people think of temporary names or something? It would make this a lot easier...^_^), The Blind Assassin, CrystalRose, Snow*flake (so proud of you! ^_~), and White-Wolf. Wow. I never thought I would have to write a list that long... Not that I mind of course...
Rebound - Chapter 4 - Revealed Truths
Kel watched Neal leave from her doorway; she continued to watch him as he made his way across the carpeted halls, past windows with brightly colored tapestries and curtains, beyond locked doors that held secrets inside. She swallowed hard and shut her eyes firmly, trying to manage some kind of a grasp on Neal's behavior.
What had he meant by kissing her? Was it just a friendly kiss? The way he had spoken to her when he said goodbye screamed otherwise, but then again, this was Neal. Neal always went for the pretty court girls, not the Yamani Lump. She had endured many of Neal's crushes towards those court ladies, in fact.
Why would Neal feel something toward her now? Was it because she and Cleon had broken it off? That was true, but Neal didn't know about Raoul. She couldn't just jilt her feelings for Raoul because there was a slight chance that Neal loved her.
And what did she feel toward Neal? She had had a crush on him ever since her second year as a page, but that had gradually gone away. True, it had evolved into a crush on his cousin Dom, but it still had gone away. He was her friend, her best friend even. He had offered to be her sponsor when everyone else might have driven her away. She would die for him, she knew, but could she love him?
And what of Raoul? He was the one she had given herself to. And now only a half day later, she was feeling things for someone else? It wouldn't be fair to either of us not to give this relationship a chance, especially since it was already underway. She dare not say that she loved him, at least not in a non-platonic way. She was affectionate toward him, was passionate about him to be sure. Love, however, was something that would take time. For Mithros sake, she had only discovered that she even like him "that way" a night ago.
Kel groaned as she pulled out of the doorway and shut the door. Making her way to the bed, she laid down. This was going to take a while.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Cleon listened to the endless drone of his betrothed, at least trying to look as if he were interested in whatever she was talking about. He had lost track somewhere around Lady Miranda's new hair color. They were in the palace's newly established rose garden.
Meaningless jabbering, was all it was. At least with Kel, they talked about exciting things, like jousting and Scanrans.
'Kel,' he thought longingly. 'How I wish I could hold you in my arms. Comfort you in whatever way possible. You are and forever will be my eternal sunrise, the warmth in the cold, frigid tombs of winter.'
He looked up when he realized that his betrothed was staring at him.
"What was that, love? I'm sorry, I missed what you had said," Cleon stated with an apologetic grin. Kitiara smiled weakly back.
"I said, did you hear about Sir Keladry, the lady knight?" Cleon raised his eyebrows in interest. Finally, a piece of gossip that intrigued him.
"No, what about her? Any news of her?" Cleon hoped that it wasn't anything bad.
"My dear, didn't you train to be a knight with her?" Kitiara asked. Cleon shrugged his shoulder impatiently and nodded with barely concealed anticipation.
"Yes, well, anyway, getting back to the subject, a very close friend of my mother's, Lady Marie, had gone to breakfast this morning at that highly exclusive restaurant, The Chevalier, with some friend of hers. Well, when she was there, she saw Lady Keladry and the knight commander of the King's Own, Sir Raoul dining together."
Cleon faked a look of nonchalance, while inside, he was a mix of confused emotions. He should be happy that Kel was up and about after so long, shouldn't he? Yes, he was happy about that, but what about Raoul? Then again, he remembered, he was her former knight master. It was ridiculous to think that-
"Apparently, they were seen kissing. And let me tell you, Lady Marie is not one to lie about things like this. It's a bit preposterous to think of those two as together, considering the age difference, but I think it's romantic. From what I heard, she and another one of the knights-in-training were courting, but he broke it off abruptly. She was left a bit devastated. I think it's sweet how Raoul came to her rescue and swept her off her feet. Did you hear anything about that, my dear?" Kitiara saw Cleon stiffen, but continued to look at him expectantly.
When he spoke, Cleon's voice came out shakily. "Are you sure that this Marie woman is reliable?" he asked slowly, his speech full of barely contained insecurity.
"Why, yes, she has been known to unmask many a true affair among nobles. Quite reliable, she is." Cleon put his head in his hands and massaged his temple to alleviate his growing headache.
"Sunshine, will you excuse me for a bit. I'm feeling a bit ill and I think I'll go back to my rooms now. Allergies, I suppose." Cleon stood up unsteadily. Kitiara rose to her feet at once.
"Oh, Cleon, are you all right? Do you want me to walk you to your rooms?" she asked, Cleon's resentment for the girl growing by the minute.
"No, Kit, I'm sure I'll be fine. Why don't you go join some other ladies so you can have a more intelligent conversation (A/N: *cough intelligent yeah right cough*)."
Kitiara's brows creased in worry, but she bid him farewell, and told him to go down to the healers if his symptoms got any worse.
Cleon walked through the halls of the palace almost aimlessly. His mysterious ailment was definitely not allergies. He felt sick to his stomach to think that someone would gossip about his Kel like that.
His Kel.
He had to stop calling her that.
She wasn't his Kel anymore. She probably never would be his Kel ever again. Maybe Neal's, or according to Kit (A/N: *cough whore cough*), Raoul's, but never his.
His decision to break it off with her had been a struggle - war, he mentally corrected himself - between his head and his heart. He loved Kel to a point where it hurt. Mithros, he had loved her since before she was a bloody squire. When he heard the news that he was betrothed to that dull court lady, Kitiara, he had tried his best to put on a brave face and tell his mother he couldn't marry the girl. His mother, however, had been staying and fief Kennen at the time, and when he rode up there and saw his people starving... He couldn't let them die out of his own selfishness.
It was the hardest decision of his life and he still had to constantly remind himself why he did it.
He had done his best to comfort her. He had thought she was going to be strong, like she always was. In that aspect, he was completely wrong. He had never seen Kel cry before, and it certainly was a bit of a wake-up call. (A/N: I'm not sure if he had seen Kel cry before. I don't think so. Considering I'll have to get up off my chair to get squire and read it all the way through to find out, I'll take the chance of writing something that is wrong. ^_^') He had held her and made love to her for the first and last time, and then walked away when the night was over. (A/N: In the first chapter, I said he had finally given into his passions or something like that in the first or second paragraph. It was kinda small so I didn't know if all you caught it *grins sheepishly*) He supposed it wasn't the best thing he could have done, but...
And what was this of Kel and Raoul kissing? She would never do something like that. Kel always planned things; she always thought before she acted. Then again she was locked in her rooms for two weeks. That was plenty of time to think on it...
'Shut up,' he told the doubting voice inside his head. 'Kel would never do something like that. She would never do that to me...'
'But she isn't yours anymore,' the voice insisted. 'Why wouldn't she?' Cleon silenced the voice, but, unfortunately, it had raised some doubts in his mind. Besides, he wanted to at least be friends with Kel, even though he always would want more. He should apologize to her and maybe try to get her to forgive him. Resolutely, he set off toward Kel's rooms.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Kel woke up when she heard a knock on her door. Willing herself to sleep had made her forget about Neal and Raoul for a brief period of time, but it was enough. Getting up she headed towards the door and opened it. "Oh, hello, Raoul," she said sleepily. "Come in." She opened the door for the slightly taller man and he stepped inside, closing it behind her. "So, how may I help you?"
Raoul looked at her tensely and went toward the shelves she kept for maps and books. He pulled out a large map of Tortall and the areas surrounding it. Spreading it out on a nearby table, he motioned Kel to come near him. Frowning, Kel obliged his signaling and went to stand next to him.
"What is it?" she asked, eyebrows burrowing in confusion.
Raoul pointed to a spot on the map. "Here," he gestured. "Scanran troops. And here, here and here," he said, pointing to various other spots on the borders of Tortall, Tusaine, Galla and Scanra.
Kel looked up in alarm. "So many? How'd they get to the other side of the Drell?"
"Not sure," Raoul answered. "Perhaps force, perhaps not. We don't know."
"How many in all?" Kel asked.
Raoul's frown deepened. "Maybe five-thousand on the Drell. More on the Scanran border." Kel took in a sharp breath. Five-thousand soldiers, armed? That was enough to fight a war-
"We're going to war?" she said numbly as she read between the lines. Raoul turned to her and nodded.
"I'm afraid so, my dear. Jon has already sent word to all the major fiefs."
Kel walked over to her bed, allowing her shoulders to slump. "So it has come to this. My first war..." her voice trailed off. Raoul looked on at her with soft eyes, folded the map up and went to sit down next to her.
"It was bound to happen sometime, I suppose. Things just kept getting rougher and rougher with the Scanrans. It was the inevitable thing, really." Raoul's voice was soft and warm, compassionate to her insecurities and doubts. He pulled her close and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Kel leaned up against him closed her eyes. Things were so easy when it was like this. Tilting her head up, she met with Raoul's gentle eyes, and allowed herself to drown in them as his lips met hers.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Cleon was nervous. It would be the first time he had seen her since that one, passionate night they had shared before they had broken up. How would she react? Would she be upset? 'Of course she'll be upset, man, you broke her heart into a few hundred different pieces. She has every right to be upset.'
Cleon stopped in his tracks, suddenly unsure about what he wanted to do. He didn't want to make things worse, after all. He loved Kel and didn't want to see her madder at him than she already was. Still, he wouldn't know until he talked to her...
Determined, full with new resolve, he walked faster toward her rooms.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
The kiss was gentle and fully of compassion. Raoul deepened it, kissing her passionately, hungrily. Kel matched his warmth and ardor with her own, opening her mouth to let her tongue slip into his mouth...
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Cleon marched closer to Kel's rooms, moving quickly and full of purpose. He would fix this, in whatever way he could.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Kel felt her resistance slip as Raoul firmly held close to his chest, biting at her neck in quick nips, causing her to gasp. She felt him push her down to the bed so that he was on top of her as he worked the clasps of her shirt off. Moving his lips back to her mouth, he began to kiss her again...
Kel heard the doorknob turned. As it opened, she could only close her eyes and curse herself for not locking it.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Cleon felt his heart stop. His throat constricted; he could not speak. His jaw quivered as his brain numbly acknowledged that Raoul was on top of Kel, her shirt unclasped and open, kissing her. He took in one ragged breath as both turned toward him, both frozen with dread.
He swallowed. Hard. Seconds passed that seemed like eons to the three of them.
Then turning, Cleon turned around, shut the door, and walked calmly to the end of the corridor. Once there, he ran blindly, not looking back, just drowning himself in his own sorrow.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
A/N: Woah. I'm getting pretty good at building suspense. *cough* Anyway... things got kinda dirty between Kel and Raoul, ne? Hehe... Well, I hope you liked it. Especially the suspense part. I'm quite proud of it. I felt bad for Cleon :'( He really did love Kel and wasn't just an ass, as Neal so fondly put it. I hate to do that to him, but it's good stuff! Well, I want to know what you think about the whole K/N/R triangle thing. Unfortunately for all you Cleon fans, he won't be part of Kel's love life anymore. Maybe just a friend, if Kel decides to forgive him. *grins hopefully* I love Cleon, I really do, but I don't think he's the right person for Kel anymore. (I used to, though. ^_^) For you Neal fans, don't worry. Neal will get his chance next chapter, thanks to an idea from Lady Rogue. (Thanx soooo much!!) Please review and tell me what you think! Your feedback has been outstanding, let me tell you. Please keep it up! ^_^
*~Cami~*