CHAPTER 4 - WHAT REALLY HAPPENED AT THE BIG OL' WING MILL
Well it seemed as though the situation could not get any worse. The Argentinean was stuck in the giant burning elephant, a long way from the ground.
Midget: "Oh, no, no! Sthomone sthave him!"
The Argentinean was shit outta luck.
Christian: "Looks like you're shit outta luck!"
Yes, he was shit outta luck. But, just then, Penelope Cruz came darting out of the nearby phone booth dressed as Wonder Woman! She declared boldly,
Penelope: "I'll save him!"
Satine glared at her jealously as Penelope climbed the ferocious straw elephant.
Christian: "Wow, there's nothing sexier than a courageous, strong woman!"
Satine punched him in the arm.
Christian: "OWWW!! You bitch!"
They all stood in awe, watching Penelope as she climbed to the top. The elephant raged with anger knowing his hostage was being taken. All the men were dreamy-eyed, especially the Duke.
Duke: "Isn't she amazing?"
Penelope reached the Argentinean at long last and she helped him climb down the side. They had escaped the wrath of the elephant!
Midget: "Awe you awight?"
Argentinean: "I guess so. (Rubbing his head) But, I am from Argentina, I have accent, I am supposed to be strong! Now I just feel like an Argentinean pussy."
Penelope: "My work here is done."
Duke: "Here, maybe, but how about upstairs, beautiful?"
Penelope: "I can't believe I've fallen in love with a handsome, charming, talented Duke who's also Tom Cruise!"
The pair walked hand-in-hand back inside the Moulin Rouge to do a little dance, make a little love and get down tonight. Satine was green with envy.
Satine: "C'mon we have to beat the Duke and Penelope to it."
Christian: "Beat them at what?"
Satine: "I mean, I love you! Let's connect on many emotional levels."
Christian: "Okay."
So, they went inside and got comfortable.
Christian: "You start."
Satine: "Okay."
There was a long awkward pause. Satine cleared her throat. Christian twiddled with his thumbs. Satine was stricken with the thought that they actually might have nothing in common!
Satine: "Umm . . . "
Christian: "Well, uh, so . . . you like being a courtesan?"
Satine: (Perks up) "Oh! Well, actually . . . (Sighs pitifully) no, not really. I hate being a courtesan. Sometimes I just feel like being a piece of meat."
Christian: "Oh."
Satine: "Sometimes I just wish I could fly, fly away."
Christian: "Well that doesn't make sense. People can't fly."
Satine: "No, I don't mean it literally. What I really mean is I'm sick and tired of being a courtesan and I just want to get out of here."
Christian: "Well if you're sick and tired of being a courtesan, then why don't you just quit?"
Satine: "Because! Um, well I HAVE to be a courtesan."
Christian: "Why? I mean France is at the height of it's economic stature. There are so many jobs out there available to you. Why didn't you just find a job somewhere else?"
Satine: "Uhh . . . "
Christian: "I mean, you've been working here - what? - all of your life? Why, if you've been so sick and tired of working here, did you never at least look for a job?"
Satine: "Hey! You're ruining my tragic, helplessness!"
Christian smirked and teased, rotating his index finger at her,
Christian: "I think someone doesn't like the truth."
Satine: "Well what about you mister penniless writer?"
Christian: (Defensively) "What about me?"
Satine: "What idiot comes to Paris with no money, a typewriter, and - ugh! - ONE OUTFIT?!"
Christian: "I came here to be penniless for a reason!"
Satine: "Yeah? Let's hear it then!"
Christian: (Breathlessly) "My father . . . village of sin . . . ridiculous obsession with love . . . "
Satine: "Oh, you have no reason. Give it up!"
Christian: "I'M GAY!!!"
Satine was taken aback.
Satine: "Excuse me?"
Christian: (Sighs) "You may as well know. You see, I've always been a bit girly . . . always singing in my high-pitched girly voice and dancing around with umbrellas and things of that sort. Well my father didn't approve of it. So when I came out of the closet, he told me I had to either be a man or leave. I left."
Satine: "Oh . . . well, you actually do have a tragic story then."
Christian nodded solemnly.
Christian: "That's the reason I have one outfit. The rest are all either pink or tutus. I only put them on at night when I'm alone."
Satine: "It all makes sense now. I should've guessed."
Christian: "I've always had to be something I'm not. Sure, I like writing but that's not what I really want. All my life, I've only had one dream: to be a ballerina."
Satine: "You know what? I can help you out. I'm in show business, I can hook you up."
Christian: "Really?"
Satine nodded, smiling warmly.
Satine: "If I help you, will you help me?"
Christian: "Sure! Anything!"
Satine: "Well, the Duke and I have had our differences, but . . . I want him back. But he's too busy fooling around with that Pineapple girl to notice me!"
Christian: "Penelope."
Satine: "Whatever."
Satine sighed and lowered her eyes to the ground. Christian scratched his head.
Christian: "I think I have an idea."
Satine leaned close to listen as Christian began to whisper his plan.
DISCLAIMER: I did not create nor do I have ownership of "Moulin Rouge", it's storyline or any of its characters, Wonder Woman, "Get Down Tonight" (is that the name of that song?), apology to Penelope Cruz, MAJOR apology to Ewan McGregor (lol!).
Well it seemed as though the situation could not get any worse. The Argentinean was stuck in the giant burning elephant, a long way from the ground.
Midget: "Oh, no, no! Sthomone sthave him!"
The Argentinean was shit outta luck.
Christian: "Looks like you're shit outta luck!"
Yes, he was shit outta luck. But, just then, Penelope Cruz came darting out of the nearby phone booth dressed as Wonder Woman! She declared boldly,
Penelope: "I'll save him!"
Satine glared at her jealously as Penelope climbed the ferocious straw elephant.
Christian: "Wow, there's nothing sexier than a courageous, strong woman!"
Satine punched him in the arm.
Christian: "OWWW!! You bitch!"
They all stood in awe, watching Penelope as she climbed to the top. The elephant raged with anger knowing his hostage was being taken. All the men were dreamy-eyed, especially the Duke.
Duke: "Isn't she amazing?"
Penelope reached the Argentinean at long last and she helped him climb down the side. They had escaped the wrath of the elephant!
Midget: "Awe you awight?"
Argentinean: "I guess so. (Rubbing his head) But, I am from Argentina, I have accent, I am supposed to be strong! Now I just feel like an Argentinean pussy."
Penelope: "My work here is done."
Duke: "Here, maybe, but how about upstairs, beautiful?"
Penelope: "I can't believe I've fallen in love with a handsome, charming, talented Duke who's also Tom Cruise!"
The pair walked hand-in-hand back inside the Moulin Rouge to do a little dance, make a little love and get down tonight. Satine was green with envy.
Satine: "C'mon we have to beat the Duke and Penelope to it."
Christian: "Beat them at what?"
Satine: "I mean, I love you! Let's connect on many emotional levels."
Christian: "Okay."
So, they went inside and got comfortable.
Christian: "You start."
Satine: "Okay."
There was a long awkward pause. Satine cleared her throat. Christian twiddled with his thumbs. Satine was stricken with the thought that they actually might have nothing in common!
Satine: "Umm . . . "
Christian: "Well, uh, so . . . you like being a courtesan?"
Satine: (Perks up) "Oh! Well, actually . . . (Sighs pitifully) no, not really. I hate being a courtesan. Sometimes I just feel like being a piece of meat."
Christian: "Oh."
Satine: "Sometimes I just wish I could fly, fly away."
Christian: "Well that doesn't make sense. People can't fly."
Satine: "No, I don't mean it literally. What I really mean is I'm sick and tired of being a courtesan and I just want to get out of here."
Christian: "Well if you're sick and tired of being a courtesan, then why don't you just quit?"
Satine: "Because! Um, well I HAVE to be a courtesan."
Christian: "Why? I mean France is at the height of it's economic stature. There are so many jobs out there available to you. Why didn't you just find a job somewhere else?"
Satine: "Uhh . . . "
Christian: "I mean, you've been working here - what? - all of your life? Why, if you've been so sick and tired of working here, did you never at least look for a job?"
Satine: "Hey! You're ruining my tragic, helplessness!"
Christian smirked and teased, rotating his index finger at her,
Christian: "I think someone doesn't like the truth."
Satine: "Well what about you mister penniless writer?"
Christian: (Defensively) "What about me?"
Satine: "What idiot comes to Paris with no money, a typewriter, and - ugh! - ONE OUTFIT?!"
Christian: "I came here to be penniless for a reason!"
Satine: "Yeah? Let's hear it then!"
Christian: (Breathlessly) "My father . . . village of sin . . . ridiculous obsession with love . . . "
Satine: "Oh, you have no reason. Give it up!"
Christian: "I'M GAY!!!"
Satine was taken aback.
Satine: "Excuse me?"
Christian: (Sighs) "You may as well know. You see, I've always been a bit girly . . . always singing in my high-pitched girly voice and dancing around with umbrellas and things of that sort. Well my father didn't approve of it. So when I came out of the closet, he told me I had to either be a man or leave. I left."
Satine: "Oh . . . well, you actually do have a tragic story then."
Christian nodded solemnly.
Christian: "That's the reason I have one outfit. The rest are all either pink or tutus. I only put them on at night when I'm alone."
Satine: "It all makes sense now. I should've guessed."
Christian: "I've always had to be something I'm not. Sure, I like writing but that's not what I really want. All my life, I've only had one dream: to be a ballerina."
Satine: "You know what? I can help you out. I'm in show business, I can hook you up."
Christian: "Really?"
Satine nodded, smiling warmly.
Satine: "If I help you, will you help me?"
Christian: "Sure! Anything!"
Satine: "Well, the Duke and I have had our differences, but . . . I want him back. But he's too busy fooling around with that Pineapple girl to notice me!"
Christian: "Penelope."
Satine: "Whatever."
Satine sighed and lowered her eyes to the ground. Christian scratched his head.
Christian: "I think I have an idea."
Satine leaned close to listen as Christian began to whisper his plan.
DISCLAIMER: I did not create nor do I have ownership of "Moulin Rouge", it's storyline or any of its characters, Wonder Woman, "Get Down Tonight" (is that the name of that song?), apology to Penelope Cruz, MAJOR apology to Ewan McGregor (lol!).