CHAPTER 5 - WHAT REALLY HAPPENED AT THE BIG OL' WIND MILL
Christian came to the Moulin Rouge the next day with a completely different attitude. He wasn't high or drunk; in fact he was especially perky! And to everyone's surprise, he wore a new outfit.
He wore a flower patterned top and conservative pink dress pants. His normally greasy hair was shower-fresh and smelled of lilacs. And it wasn't messy like it usually was, either. It was pulled into two neat pigtails with pink ribbons, not a single hair out of place.
Satine: "Christian! You look great!"
Christian: "Oh my God, really? Are you sure, I wasn't totally convinced about the shoes?"
Satine: "The shoes look great!"
Christian: "Thanks - you're a doll! Now, where's that Duke?"
Satine: "He's with Pinecone."
Christian: "Penelope."
Satine: "Whatever."
Christian and Satine walked over to where the Duke and Penelope were canoodling in some theatre seats and stood some 10 feet away, close enough for them to hear what they were saying.
Christian: "AHEM!"
The Duke and Penelope stopped giggling and looked over.
Christian: "Christian, we have to end it."
Satine: "That's my line, dufus!"
Christian: "Oops!"
Satine smacked him upside the head and whispered something angrily into his ear. By now the Duke and Penelope were unsure what to think. A few moments later, they started the conversation over.
Satine: "Christian, we have to end it."
Christian: "But, why Satine?"
Satine: "I'm sorry - you just can't keep up with me in bed."
Christian: "Well how can I? You're an animal!"
Satine glanced over to see if the Duke was catching the conversation. He seemed uninterested and was started to get up to move somewhere else with Penelope when Christian said unexpectedly,
Christian: "Satine, you make me feel like a virgin!"
The Duke stopped in his tracks and snapped his head around.
Duke: "Like a virgin?"
Christian nodded.
Christian: "Like a virgin, touched for the very first time."
Duke: (slipping his arm off of Penelope) "No woman's ever been able to do that for me . . . "
Penelope's mouth dropped open in jealousy.
Penelope: "Oh, and I bet it just feels so good inside?"
Christian: "Definitely."
Duke: (coming closer to Satine) "So, uh, Satine . . . you're dumping him?"
Satine: "Yes . . . "
Duke: "How about we hook up sometime?"
Satine: (smiling goofily) "Okay."
Steam started coming out of Penelope's ears.
Penelope: "Just you wait, Duke! I'll have my revenge!"
The Duke watched as she stormed out of the Moulin Rouge. Satine mouthed "SCORE!" to Christian.
Duke: "So, anyway! You want to grab some lunch?"
Satine: "Sure, there's just one thing I have to do. Go get us a taxi."
The Duke left and Satine turned to Christian.
Satine: "Thank you so much, Christian."
Christian: "No prob, hun!"
Satine: "Are you ready for the audition?"
Christian: "Ready as I'll ever be girlfriend."
Satine leads him to the back room where Zidler is waiting. Christian stares nervously at Zidler.
Satine: "Harold, Christian would like to audition to be a regular around here."
Zidler: "Well, go ahead, boy. Impress me!"
Christian looks like a deer in headlights. He felt he might shit his pants at any random moment.
Zidler was becoming impatient, squirming uncomfortably in his seat.
Zidler: (thinking to self) "I should've used Preparation H . . . "
Christian hadn't thought he'd be so nervous. Nevertheless, this was his one shot. He reached into his purse and whipped out a pretty pink umbrella. He clicked the umbrella open.
Zidler: "Don't open that in here! That's bad luck!"
Christian immediately snapped the umbrella shut.
Christian: "But, I need it for my number!"
Zidler: "We'll just have to go outside then. I don't want you cursing my theatre."
As they leave, a man with half of a white mask and a long, flowing cape slinks by.
Phantom: "The Phaaaantom of the opera is here! HAHAHA!!!"
Outside, Zidler and Satine sat on a drunk that was passed out in front of the Moulin Rouge.
Zidler: (trying to scratch without being noticed) "Okay - go ahead. And make it quick!"
Christian took a deep breath and started dancing. He was good - really good. And his pink umbrella really brought the performance to life. He held it tightly as he danced in circles with it and let is fly beautifully as he spun it around.
To finish it off, he danced over to the Eiffel Tower and swung round and round on it until he flew off and landed at Zidler's feet with his arms open.
Christian: "TADA!"
Zidler scratched his chin, thinking it over.
Zidler: "Hmmm . . . "
Christian's bottom lip began to quiver and tears in his eyes started to well up. Satine then discreetly pulled a tube of Preparation H from her pocket and bribed Zidler.
Zidler: (hurriedly) "Alright, boy! You've got the job!"
Zidler then snatched the tube away and ran as fast as his little fat legs could carry him inside.
Satine: "See? You had nothing to worry about! You did it."
Christian: "It scared the crap out of me . . . (adjusting his pants) literally."
DISCLAIMER: I did not create nor do I have ownership of "Moulin Rouge", it's storyline or any of its characters, The Phantom of the Opera, Preparation H, "Like A Virgin," (Madonna), apologies to . . . well . . . basically the whole cast.
Christian came to the Moulin Rouge the next day with a completely different attitude. He wasn't high or drunk; in fact he was especially perky! And to everyone's surprise, he wore a new outfit.
He wore a flower patterned top and conservative pink dress pants. His normally greasy hair was shower-fresh and smelled of lilacs. And it wasn't messy like it usually was, either. It was pulled into two neat pigtails with pink ribbons, not a single hair out of place.
Satine: "Christian! You look great!"
Christian: "Oh my God, really? Are you sure, I wasn't totally convinced about the shoes?"
Satine: "The shoes look great!"
Christian: "Thanks - you're a doll! Now, where's that Duke?"
Satine: "He's with Pinecone."
Christian: "Penelope."
Satine: "Whatever."
Christian and Satine walked over to where the Duke and Penelope were canoodling in some theatre seats and stood some 10 feet away, close enough for them to hear what they were saying.
Christian: "AHEM!"
The Duke and Penelope stopped giggling and looked over.
Christian: "Christian, we have to end it."
Satine: "That's my line, dufus!"
Christian: "Oops!"
Satine smacked him upside the head and whispered something angrily into his ear. By now the Duke and Penelope were unsure what to think. A few moments later, they started the conversation over.
Satine: "Christian, we have to end it."
Christian: "But, why Satine?"
Satine: "I'm sorry - you just can't keep up with me in bed."
Christian: "Well how can I? You're an animal!"
Satine glanced over to see if the Duke was catching the conversation. He seemed uninterested and was started to get up to move somewhere else with Penelope when Christian said unexpectedly,
Christian: "Satine, you make me feel like a virgin!"
The Duke stopped in his tracks and snapped his head around.
Duke: "Like a virgin?"
Christian nodded.
Christian: "Like a virgin, touched for the very first time."
Duke: (slipping his arm off of Penelope) "No woman's ever been able to do that for me . . . "
Penelope's mouth dropped open in jealousy.
Penelope: "Oh, and I bet it just feels so good inside?"
Christian: "Definitely."
Duke: (coming closer to Satine) "So, uh, Satine . . . you're dumping him?"
Satine: "Yes . . . "
Duke: "How about we hook up sometime?"
Satine: (smiling goofily) "Okay."
Steam started coming out of Penelope's ears.
Penelope: "Just you wait, Duke! I'll have my revenge!"
The Duke watched as she stormed out of the Moulin Rouge. Satine mouthed "SCORE!" to Christian.
Duke: "So, anyway! You want to grab some lunch?"
Satine: "Sure, there's just one thing I have to do. Go get us a taxi."
The Duke left and Satine turned to Christian.
Satine: "Thank you so much, Christian."
Christian: "No prob, hun!"
Satine: "Are you ready for the audition?"
Christian: "Ready as I'll ever be girlfriend."
Satine leads him to the back room where Zidler is waiting. Christian stares nervously at Zidler.
Satine: "Harold, Christian would like to audition to be a regular around here."
Zidler: "Well, go ahead, boy. Impress me!"
Christian looks like a deer in headlights. He felt he might shit his pants at any random moment.
Zidler was becoming impatient, squirming uncomfortably in his seat.
Zidler: (thinking to self) "I should've used Preparation H . . . "
Christian hadn't thought he'd be so nervous. Nevertheless, this was his one shot. He reached into his purse and whipped out a pretty pink umbrella. He clicked the umbrella open.
Zidler: "Don't open that in here! That's bad luck!"
Christian immediately snapped the umbrella shut.
Christian: "But, I need it for my number!"
Zidler: "We'll just have to go outside then. I don't want you cursing my theatre."
As they leave, a man with half of a white mask and a long, flowing cape slinks by.
Phantom: "The Phaaaantom of the opera is here! HAHAHA!!!"
Outside, Zidler and Satine sat on a drunk that was passed out in front of the Moulin Rouge.
Zidler: (trying to scratch without being noticed) "Okay - go ahead. And make it quick!"
Christian took a deep breath and started dancing. He was good - really good. And his pink umbrella really brought the performance to life. He held it tightly as he danced in circles with it and let is fly beautifully as he spun it around.
To finish it off, he danced over to the Eiffel Tower and swung round and round on it until he flew off and landed at Zidler's feet with his arms open.
Christian: "TADA!"
Zidler scratched his chin, thinking it over.
Zidler: "Hmmm . . . "
Christian's bottom lip began to quiver and tears in his eyes started to well up. Satine then discreetly pulled a tube of Preparation H from her pocket and bribed Zidler.
Zidler: (hurriedly) "Alright, boy! You've got the job!"
Zidler then snatched the tube away and ran as fast as his little fat legs could carry him inside.
Satine: "See? You had nothing to worry about! You did it."
Christian: "It scared the crap out of me . . . (adjusting his pants) literally."
DISCLAIMER: I did not create nor do I have ownership of "Moulin Rouge", it's storyline or any of its characters, The Phantom of the Opera, Preparation H, "Like A Virgin," (Madonna), apologies to . . . well . . . basically the whole cast.