Author's notes: Slayers is not mine. I am making no money off of this story. I wrote it for my own amusement. The lab used for this story is an actual lab. It was the first real chemistry lab that I had to do in college. There is a major difference in the lab that I did though... we weren't allowed to have partners. (If you can't tell from the story, that lab was miserable. And it was on a Friday afternoon.) Oh yes, and the safety video referred to does exist, and it was made in the early to mid 80's.
"Tell me again why we have to have a four hour lab," Gourry whined to Lina, "I'll go hungry before it is over."
"To help us learn about chemistry. And don't worry. I'll be hungry too," Lina sighed.
Zelgadis thought to himself This might not be so bad. Labs can be interesting, just as long as everyone in the lab is sane. Uh-oh, not everyone in the lab is sane...Amelia, Zelgadis, Gourry, Lina, and Filia all walked to lab together. Xellos teleported there moments before it was to begin. They entered the classroom where they would get instructions on general lab safety. They would also get some background and tips on the lab that they would be doing that day.
Sylphiel, the TA, began the lab by introducing herself and randomly putting everyone with a lab partner. By chance, Amelia and Zelgadis were working together, as were Lina and Gourry and Xellos and Filia. Everyone was happy about this arrangement except for Filia and Xellos. They did not want to work together. Filia protested, but Sylphiel did not care. The groups were set, and it would not be fair to change them at this point. Also, no one was willing to work with Xellos.
This week, they were going to be transforming copper. They would take it through several steps and end up with copper. There was a lot of special safety, especially since NO, a toxic gas, would be produced. Bunsen burners would also be used, so Filia, Lina, and Gourry were given rubber bands to tie their hair back.
Finally, everyone headed out to the lab room. Filia and Xellos started off at lab tables as far apart as possible. This greatly upset Sylphiel. She told them that if they did not work together, she would automatically fail them and send them to the dean of the university. The dean was known for strange punishments, and it was likely that they would be forced to do a total of eighty hours of community service together --- at least.
This bad start to lab made Sylphiel nervous. It was her first semester as a TA, and she wanted things to go as smoothly as possible. She glanced around the room to see what was going on with the other groups. Zelgadis and Amelia were working quite well together. They had measured out their copper, and added the concentrated nitric acid, well in the back of the fume hood, just like they were instructed.
Meanwhile, Gourry and Lina were still doing okay. They had massed out their copper and had added the nitric acid, although Lina almost forgot to do that step under fume hood. Sylphiel was not happy about this, as she was frightened that someone could have died. She told Lina and Gourry to be much more careful in the future.
Zelgadis and Amelia then carefully added some distilled water before adding in the 6 molar sodium hydroxide. As they were adding the strong base, they also stirred. They continued until a precipitate formed. They then added even more distilled water before heating the solution over a carefully lit Bunsen burner.
Gourry and Lina were doing about as well as Zelgadis and Amelia were... until they had to light the Bunsen burner. Lina did not want to use the matches that were provided, deeming them boring. She started to make a fireball before Sylphiel stopped her.
"ARE YOU NUTS? DO YOU WANT TO KILL US ALL OFF?" Sylphiel shouted at Lina.
"No..." Lina replied cautiously, before beginning another spell. "Flare-"
"Lina-san! No! Use the matches!" a stressed out Sylphiel commanded.
"But they are so boring."
"I don't care that they are boring. You are not going to blow up this lab."
"Fine, fine, I'll use the matches," Lina grumbled unhappily.
At this point, Filia and Xellos had accomplished nothing. They hadn't even massed out the copper. Neither one trusted the other to do it properly. Instead, they had spent the lab period shouting a wide variety of insults at each other. This had led to some problems, as Filia's tail had popped out and knocked over a bottle of concentrated nitric acid. Xellos somehow managed to catch the bottle before it fell. He used this to call Filia a klutz. She pulled out her mace in an attempt to smack him with it, but he teleported to the other side of the room. Sylphiel tried to threaten them. Filia looked grumpy the whole time that Sylphiel lectured them on working together, and Xellos just smiled. After Sylphiel left to check on the other groups, they went back to insulting each other.
Amelia and Zelgadis smiled as the solution turned black. They had had to add a little more sodium hydroxide, but that hadn't been a huge problem. They then let their beaker cool, then decanted. They then added more distilled water and decanted once again. To dissolve the solid, they added 3 Molar hydrogen sulfate. They then added Zinc until the solution turned clear, washed the copper product three times, heated to dry it, and finally massed it. They had had good results, ending up with almost as much copper as they had started with. Sylphiel was pleased with their results, and bid them farewell for the week.
Filia finally took it upon herself to begin the lab. By this point, the lab was nearly three-quarters over, and she did not want to be stuck in the same room with that namagomi mazoku any longer than she had to. She worked, trying to ignore the taunts that Xellos was throwing at her. She thought to herself I'll deal with that namagomi later. And when I do, he will be sorry he ever messed with me.
After the issue with the Bunsen burner, Lina and Gourry were doing okay... until Gourry insisted on doing a step. He almost added acid to the solution when base was supposed to be added. Fortunately, he had asked Lina first, and she had stopped him before he would have made that fatal error. After doing so, she smacked him on the head and told him that he had jellyfish instead of brains. Her smacking his head caused him to drop the bottle of sodium hydroxide he had been holding. It fell to the floor and shattered, causing base to spread out all over the floor. Everyone in the room got up off the floor while Sylphiel cleaned up the mess, after making sure everyone was okay. Somehow, no one was cut nor had base splash on them. She was not happy with Gourry and Lina. She told them that they would have to come in during the week and watch the safety video again. Lina and Gourry looked at each other in a state of pure horror. Not that safety video again! It had to be at least fifteen years old, not to mention that it was one of the cheesiest things ever created. But punishment was punishment, and there was no getting out of it. They sullenly completed the lab, then left in a bad mood.
Filia continued along with the lab. She left the bench to get the needed sodium hydroxide. While she left, Xellos added more nitric acid to the solution instead of distilled water. When Filia returned, she asked him if he had added the distilled water like he was supposed to.
Xellos smiled especially big, wiggled his finger, and said, "Sore wa himitsu desu!"
Filia almost went into a rage. Instead, she went to Sylphiel to complain. Sylphiel asked Xellos the same question, and told him that if he didn't answer the question, he would be in huge trouble.
"I added the water," Xellos muttered, adding "not" very quietly after Filia went on with the lab.
Filia added the sodium hydroxide, thinking that everything was okay. As she added the base, the beaker became incredibly hot, and she got a nasty burn. Fortunately, she was able to heal it without too much trouble. The contents in the beaker also began to bubble violently.
"Xellos," Sylphiel somehow managed to ask calmly, "You added nitric acid instead of distilled water, didn't you?"
Xellos whimpered and finally told the truth. Sylphiel decided that the best thing to do would be to stop the lab. She would give Xellos a zero, and she told Filia to write a report based on what was supposed to happen. Filia did lose all but one of the safety points, but that was fair... she had fought with Xellos for almost the whole lab.
Lina and Gourry did watch the video again. They paid close attention this time, since they were given a quiz on it after it was over. Although they hated it, they did feel like they deserved it.
The next week, everyone went to lab as they were supposed to. They did have a surprise waiting for them, though. Sylphiel was no longer the TA, Dr. Rezo was. Dr. Rezo informed the class that Sylphiel had decided to go to cooking school instead. Dr. Rezo decided to keep the groups that had been formed to keep things as stable as possible. He told his students that any horseplay during the lab would be severely punished. He told them that if they wanted to know what the punishment was to just look at Zelgadis. He told Zelgadis that he would have a special type of punishment if he misbehaved. The class (except Xellos) looked at each other with a look of pure horror in their eyes.