Oct 2002
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, all the characters (Except for Tasha) are property of Lucasfilm etc etc.
Hide Your Love Away
Chapter 13
Anakin sat next to Padmé's bed, gently stroking her hair. Asleep, she looked worn and exhausted; drained. He couldn't help the guilt that ate at his system. If he'd left her be, wouldn't she have recovered on her own? His heart told him no and yet it was no comfort. He sighed, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on her brow. "I'm sorry, Angel."
She stirred but didn't waken. He smiled sadly. "I wish you were awake so I could talk to you," he said quietly, stroking her cheek gently, "but I know you need your rest to heal."
He stopped, teasing the ends of her hair where they lay on the blanket. Gently running the silken strands through his fingers, he watched her sleep, fighting with the idea of talk to her anyway. His meeting with Palpatine had upset him; he wanted a hug. A wry smile twisted his lips. He, the chosen one, needed this slip of a woman to hold him when things were uncertain. His smile turned tender as he stroked her cheek again. It shouldn't surprise him, she'd always been the calm at the eye of the storm.
"I wish you could have been with me today," he told her softly, deciding to talk even if she couldn't answer him. "Palpatine knows you're ill, he's threatening to make sure you don't recover. I won't let him hurt you, not again. He knows about the twins, but he can't find them."
He sighed, searching her still face for some sigh of reassurance and found none. She slept peacefully unaware of his spiralling emotions, of his need for reassurance. He leaned down, planting a soft, butterfly kiss on her lips. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I should have known better than to try and keep something so crucial from you for so long. I don't want you to die; I need you. You've got to live, Angel, for the twins and for me. Without you I'd be lost. I love you."
She didn't move as he pushed up from the bed, and began to pace, talking aloud to himself, and to her, as he sorted through his emotions.
"How can I face him? How can I fight his power when he's the one who taught me how to use my own powers? He knows my limitations, my weaknesses. Thanks to my own foolishness, he knows everything about me. He can draw anger, despair, sorrow... any emotion he wants, from me. How did he get this kind of power over me?" He shook his head, frustrated, "You were the only person who could ever drag that kind of response from me, what happened to give him that ability? What did I become to allow such a violation of my being, my very soul? How could I be a willing participant in his plans? I'm scared, Padmé, scared he'll try to exert that power and succeed. I couldn't survive another onslaught of his power, his will. Or can I? Am I strong enough to escape his control to stand against him and win?"
He stopped, turning to look at her, naked need and longing on his face, "Am I strong enough to be a good man? The man you married? The man you want to be a father to our children?" He stepped to her bedside and slid his hand under hers, holding it gently as he stared into her slumbering face. "What do I do?"
Her eyelids fluttered but didn't open, a frown creasing her forehead as if she wanted to say something, but couldn't seem to wake up. Anakin smoothed her forehead, "Sleep Angel, I'll be here when you wake."
She sighed, turning her head as he cupped her face. Anakin smiled, gently gathering her into his arms and sliding onto the bed with her. He hadn't slept well the night before without her. Determined to hold her, he cradled her against him and closed his eyes. He was asleep in minutes.
Obi-Wan waited until Anakin awoke later that evening to confront him. He had very sketchy memories of the night before, but Anakin had known about Pearl. He was determined to find out how.
Anakin's hair was tousled as he left the sick room of his wife; his clothing mused from being slept in. Crystal clear eyes regarded the silent, brooding sentry at his wife's door. "Unsatisfied still, Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan resisted the sudden image of his fist colliding with Skywalker's face. Barely. "What happened last night Anakin, and how did Pearl end up in my quarters?"
Anakin leaned against the wall, smoothing the wrinkles from the folds of his cloak. "You hauled her there after I suggested it."
"Why, in the name of the living Force, did you suggest I take her to my quarters of all places? You should have grabbed her and thrown her out in the streets."
"Obi-Wan, if you'd seen your face last night..." he shook his head. "Forget your face. You were ready to play doctor in the hall, if you get my meaning."
"I would nev-"
Anakin cut him off. "Unaffected by a drug, I'm inclined to agree, but Tasha, and her name -is- Tasha, not Pearl, used that Fertility compound on you again. I wasn't about to get between man and his base natures."
"And you remained unaffected?"
"I took something."
Obi-Wan crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow in inquiry.
"You were already gone, how was I to know she'd stop by your quarters and dose you first? I think she wanted us to fight over her."
Obi-Wan frowned. "What would that accomplish?"
"I'm not sure."
"Excluding the fight, since you were thinking clearly enough to resist her, why didn't you make sure I stayed as far away from her as possible? I mean, couldn't you have lifted me into the air and left me there for the night?"
Anakin chuckled, "As amusing as that thought was, I did a littler reading on the fertility drugs and their side effects last night. Without taking the counteractive agent before you're exposed, you have to mate with the person who applied it, or they have to supply the agent to neutralize it. It's complicated, but from what I understand, if you don't do it, you're sexual energy and appetite for it become overwhelming. Jedi or not, you'd have no control and probably sleep with every female you came across, regardless of species, until you found who administered the drug."
He was speechless. "Are you telling me that unless Pea- Tasha, administers the antidote to this stuff herself, I wouldn't be able to resist any female?"
Anakin nodded, "That about sums it up. Tasha only received the dosages she did because the chancellor cleared it. The medic in the lab was kind enough to give me a way of counteracting it before it enters the system." He reached into a pocket and offered a small vial to Obi-Wan. "These are good for a standard week's protection."
Obi-Wan made no move to take it. "Tasha disappeared after this morning. I threatened to lock her up so she couldn't turn my child into a Sith." He grimaced, "That probably wasn't one of my better ideas."
"She ran?"
Obi-Wan nodded.
"That's unlike her." Anakin shook his head, "I'll look for her if you want."
"No, don't bother. We have to help prepare you for facing Palpatine and I get the feeling Tasha won't make herself seen again until then."
Anakin grimaced, glancing at the door where his wife slept and then nodded. "Alright, I could use your help."
Together, they left the medical lab to begin preparing for the fight that was sure to happen.
It would be two weeks before Anakin heard any word from the Chancellor. The dancer who carried Obi-Wan's child seemed to have vanished into the night without a trace. Padmé's condition didn't change. Locked in slumber, she didn't waken, her vital signs the only outward sign she was still alive. Anakin spent most of his time with her, questioning the techs when they came, the Jedi healers, demanding to know when she'd be released from the Hibernation trance. She needed food, sustenance, if she was to continue living. They relented, allowing her small periods to eat and replenish her strength. Anakin spent every minute he could talking with her about what they could do against Palpatine. Obi-Wan had helped him prepare mentally, but a plan hadn't yet been hashed out.
Anakin was at her side when a messenger knocked on the door. "Jedi Skywalker?"
He turned to find a young senatorial page wearing the Supreme Chancellor's colors. "I am."
The page offered him a data rod and, when he accepted it, darted off as if he were on fire. Anakin closed the door on the page and turned to his wife. "It would seem the Chancellor's about to enter our lives again."
She nodded, propped up against her pillows, her eyes sporting large shadows. When she was allowed to sleep real sleep, she didn't. She worried about the twins and about her husband. "Well, read it. A rod won't do you much good."
He grinned wickedly, "No, but it would do you some good."
She laughed. "Anakin!"
"It's good to hear your laugh again, Angel."
"It's good to be able to laugh. I really don't like those hibernation trances."
"That's two of us." He slipped the data rod into his data pad and pressed the decryption sequence. Sitting on the edge of Padmé's bed, he allowed her to read it over his shoulder.
Skywalker,
Tomorrow at noon you will be in my office. I have something that might interest you.
Supreme Chancellor Palpatine
"The twins!"
He shook his head, cupping her horrified face, "No! He can't have them, he doesn't know where they are. Listen to me Padmé, this is a lure. A way to get me where it wants me."
"And you'll go anyway? Are you sure it's not the twins?"
Anakin nodded, smiling tenderly at her, reassuring her from his very soul. "I promise it's not our children. I would have felt their Force signature no matter what Palpatine did to it. They're nowhere near here."
She hugged him, feeling frail in his arms. "Promise me you'll be careful."
"I'll bring Obi-Wan."
She shook her head, "No. I don't think he wants to kill you, not yet. He just wants to see if you've changed your mind and if you can be persuaded to if you haven't." Her smile was wry, "Once a politician, always a politician. He'll try and negotiate."
"Hopefully not aggressively."
She chuckled softly, "Keep your lightsaber in your pocket, Skywalker."
He kissed her tenderly. "Unless he draws first, I promise I won't pull it out."
He could almost hear her silent snicker at the double meaning in his words and leaned down to gently nibble on her sensitive earlobe. "Would you like me to... whip it out for you, Angel?"
He could feel her swallowing her initial reaction, her initial words, and chuckled softly. "Later, Padmé, when you're recovered."
She gasped as he pulled away and began to pace. Eyes wide, she watched him, "You'd better keep your promises, Skywalker. The way you're going, I won't be letting you out of bed for a month!"
He smiled rakishly, "I can only hope."
She shook her head, wishing she had the strength to throw a pillow at him. "You, sir, are incorrigible."
"Me? You're the one who had to bring my saber into this!"
"I said your lightsaber, you know what I was talking about!"
He hugged her warmly. "I love you, Angel. I've missed having you scold me about anything."
"I don't scold!"
He grinned. "You just did. I don't mind, I'd rather have you scolding me, or yelling at me, than laying there unmoving. How are you feeling, honestly?"
"Better." She hugged him back, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, "Though, I don't feel up to facing the Chancellor yet."
He pulled back, sitting on the edge of her bed, "We'll see what he wants tomorrow, then we'll talk about how we're going to bring you back into this, alright? Sleep, Angel, real sleep, I'll be right here."
She slid her arms around his waist, pulling him back down onto the bed with her, and curled into his body. She was still weak, but he didn't resist her. Keeping her sheltered in his body, he closed his eyes and simply held her as she drifted off to sleep.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, all the characters (Except for Tasha) are property of Lucasfilm etc etc.
Hide Your Love Away
Chapter 13
Anakin sat next to Padmé's bed, gently stroking her hair. Asleep, she looked worn and exhausted; drained. He couldn't help the guilt that ate at his system. If he'd left her be, wouldn't she have recovered on her own? His heart told him no and yet it was no comfort. He sighed, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on her brow. "I'm sorry, Angel."
She stirred but didn't waken. He smiled sadly. "I wish you were awake so I could talk to you," he said quietly, stroking her cheek gently, "but I know you need your rest to heal."
He stopped, teasing the ends of her hair where they lay on the blanket. Gently running the silken strands through his fingers, he watched her sleep, fighting with the idea of talk to her anyway. His meeting with Palpatine had upset him; he wanted a hug. A wry smile twisted his lips. He, the chosen one, needed this slip of a woman to hold him when things were uncertain. His smile turned tender as he stroked her cheek again. It shouldn't surprise him, she'd always been the calm at the eye of the storm.
"I wish you could have been with me today," he told her softly, deciding to talk even if she couldn't answer him. "Palpatine knows you're ill, he's threatening to make sure you don't recover. I won't let him hurt you, not again. He knows about the twins, but he can't find them."
He sighed, searching her still face for some sigh of reassurance and found none. She slept peacefully unaware of his spiralling emotions, of his need for reassurance. He leaned down, planting a soft, butterfly kiss on her lips. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I should have known better than to try and keep something so crucial from you for so long. I don't want you to die; I need you. You've got to live, Angel, for the twins and for me. Without you I'd be lost. I love you."
She didn't move as he pushed up from the bed, and began to pace, talking aloud to himself, and to her, as he sorted through his emotions.
"How can I face him? How can I fight his power when he's the one who taught me how to use my own powers? He knows my limitations, my weaknesses. Thanks to my own foolishness, he knows everything about me. He can draw anger, despair, sorrow... any emotion he wants, from me. How did he get this kind of power over me?" He shook his head, frustrated, "You were the only person who could ever drag that kind of response from me, what happened to give him that ability? What did I become to allow such a violation of my being, my very soul? How could I be a willing participant in his plans? I'm scared, Padmé, scared he'll try to exert that power and succeed. I couldn't survive another onslaught of his power, his will. Or can I? Am I strong enough to escape his control to stand against him and win?"
He stopped, turning to look at her, naked need and longing on his face, "Am I strong enough to be a good man? The man you married? The man you want to be a father to our children?" He stepped to her bedside and slid his hand under hers, holding it gently as he stared into her slumbering face. "What do I do?"
Her eyelids fluttered but didn't open, a frown creasing her forehead as if she wanted to say something, but couldn't seem to wake up. Anakin smoothed her forehead, "Sleep Angel, I'll be here when you wake."
She sighed, turning her head as he cupped her face. Anakin smiled, gently gathering her into his arms and sliding onto the bed with her. He hadn't slept well the night before without her. Determined to hold her, he cradled her against him and closed his eyes. He was asleep in minutes.
Obi-Wan waited until Anakin awoke later that evening to confront him. He had very sketchy memories of the night before, but Anakin had known about Pearl. He was determined to find out how.
Anakin's hair was tousled as he left the sick room of his wife; his clothing mused from being slept in. Crystal clear eyes regarded the silent, brooding sentry at his wife's door. "Unsatisfied still, Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan resisted the sudden image of his fist colliding with Skywalker's face. Barely. "What happened last night Anakin, and how did Pearl end up in my quarters?"
Anakin leaned against the wall, smoothing the wrinkles from the folds of his cloak. "You hauled her there after I suggested it."
"Why, in the name of the living Force, did you suggest I take her to my quarters of all places? You should have grabbed her and thrown her out in the streets."
"Obi-Wan, if you'd seen your face last night..." he shook his head. "Forget your face. You were ready to play doctor in the hall, if you get my meaning."
"I would nev-"
Anakin cut him off. "Unaffected by a drug, I'm inclined to agree, but Tasha, and her name -is- Tasha, not Pearl, used that Fertility compound on you again. I wasn't about to get between man and his base natures."
"And you remained unaffected?"
"I took something."
Obi-Wan crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow in inquiry.
"You were already gone, how was I to know she'd stop by your quarters and dose you first? I think she wanted us to fight over her."
Obi-Wan frowned. "What would that accomplish?"
"I'm not sure."
"Excluding the fight, since you were thinking clearly enough to resist her, why didn't you make sure I stayed as far away from her as possible? I mean, couldn't you have lifted me into the air and left me there for the night?"
Anakin chuckled, "As amusing as that thought was, I did a littler reading on the fertility drugs and their side effects last night. Without taking the counteractive agent before you're exposed, you have to mate with the person who applied it, or they have to supply the agent to neutralize it. It's complicated, but from what I understand, if you don't do it, you're sexual energy and appetite for it become overwhelming. Jedi or not, you'd have no control and probably sleep with every female you came across, regardless of species, until you found who administered the drug."
He was speechless. "Are you telling me that unless Pea- Tasha, administers the antidote to this stuff herself, I wouldn't be able to resist any female?"
Anakin nodded, "That about sums it up. Tasha only received the dosages she did because the chancellor cleared it. The medic in the lab was kind enough to give me a way of counteracting it before it enters the system." He reached into a pocket and offered a small vial to Obi-Wan. "These are good for a standard week's protection."
Obi-Wan made no move to take it. "Tasha disappeared after this morning. I threatened to lock her up so she couldn't turn my child into a Sith." He grimaced, "That probably wasn't one of my better ideas."
"She ran?"
Obi-Wan nodded.
"That's unlike her." Anakin shook his head, "I'll look for her if you want."
"No, don't bother. We have to help prepare you for facing Palpatine and I get the feeling Tasha won't make herself seen again until then."
Anakin grimaced, glancing at the door where his wife slept and then nodded. "Alright, I could use your help."
Together, they left the medical lab to begin preparing for the fight that was sure to happen.
It would be two weeks before Anakin heard any word from the Chancellor. The dancer who carried Obi-Wan's child seemed to have vanished into the night without a trace. Padmé's condition didn't change. Locked in slumber, she didn't waken, her vital signs the only outward sign she was still alive. Anakin spent most of his time with her, questioning the techs when they came, the Jedi healers, demanding to know when she'd be released from the Hibernation trance. She needed food, sustenance, if she was to continue living. They relented, allowing her small periods to eat and replenish her strength. Anakin spent every minute he could talking with her about what they could do against Palpatine. Obi-Wan had helped him prepare mentally, but a plan hadn't yet been hashed out.
Anakin was at her side when a messenger knocked on the door. "Jedi Skywalker?"
He turned to find a young senatorial page wearing the Supreme Chancellor's colors. "I am."
The page offered him a data rod and, when he accepted it, darted off as if he were on fire. Anakin closed the door on the page and turned to his wife. "It would seem the Chancellor's about to enter our lives again."
She nodded, propped up against her pillows, her eyes sporting large shadows. When she was allowed to sleep real sleep, she didn't. She worried about the twins and about her husband. "Well, read it. A rod won't do you much good."
He grinned wickedly, "No, but it would do you some good."
She laughed. "Anakin!"
"It's good to hear your laugh again, Angel."
"It's good to be able to laugh. I really don't like those hibernation trances."
"That's two of us." He slipped the data rod into his data pad and pressed the decryption sequence. Sitting on the edge of Padmé's bed, he allowed her to read it over his shoulder.
Skywalker,
Tomorrow at noon you will be in my office. I have something that might interest you.
Supreme Chancellor Palpatine
"The twins!"
He shook his head, cupping her horrified face, "No! He can't have them, he doesn't know where they are. Listen to me Padmé, this is a lure. A way to get me where it wants me."
"And you'll go anyway? Are you sure it's not the twins?"
Anakin nodded, smiling tenderly at her, reassuring her from his very soul. "I promise it's not our children. I would have felt their Force signature no matter what Palpatine did to it. They're nowhere near here."
She hugged him, feeling frail in his arms. "Promise me you'll be careful."
"I'll bring Obi-Wan."
She shook her head, "No. I don't think he wants to kill you, not yet. He just wants to see if you've changed your mind and if you can be persuaded to if you haven't." Her smile was wry, "Once a politician, always a politician. He'll try and negotiate."
"Hopefully not aggressively."
She chuckled softly, "Keep your lightsaber in your pocket, Skywalker."
He kissed her tenderly. "Unless he draws first, I promise I won't pull it out."
He could almost hear her silent snicker at the double meaning in his words and leaned down to gently nibble on her sensitive earlobe. "Would you like me to... whip it out for you, Angel?"
He could feel her swallowing her initial reaction, her initial words, and chuckled softly. "Later, Padmé, when you're recovered."
She gasped as he pulled away and began to pace. Eyes wide, she watched him, "You'd better keep your promises, Skywalker. The way you're going, I won't be letting you out of bed for a month!"
He smiled rakishly, "I can only hope."
She shook her head, wishing she had the strength to throw a pillow at him. "You, sir, are incorrigible."
"Me? You're the one who had to bring my saber into this!"
"I said your lightsaber, you know what I was talking about!"
He hugged her warmly. "I love you, Angel. I've missed having you scold me about anything."
"I don't scold!"
He grinned. "You just did. I don't mind, I'd rather have you scolding me, or yelling at me, than laying there unmoving. How are you feeling, honestly?"
"Better." She hugged him back, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, "Though, I don't feel up to facing the Chancellor yet."
He pulled back, sitting on the edge of her bed, "We'll see what he wants tomorrow, then we'll talk about how we're going to bring you back into this, alright? Sleep, Angel, real sleep, I'll be right here."
She slid her arms around his waist, pulling him back down onto the bed with her, and curled into his body. She was still weak, but he didn't resist her. Keeping her sheltered in his body, he closed his eyes and simply held her as she drifted off to sleep.