Falls the Shadow

Chapter 3

(Full)

               They spent a long time just holding each other, Padmé trying not to cause him pain, yet trying to comfort him. It was a difficult proposition, she wanted to hold him close and yet she was afraid. At last his sobs subsided and became dry hitches as he struggled to control himself. Padmé took his hand in hers and him over to the couch, gingerly stroking his left arm...

         "Ani, what happened?" she said at last. "Why didn't you contact me...?" Her own eyes welled up with tears. "Gods beloved... your arm..." she whispered, afraid to look at the rest of him.

         "The medics... didn't have time to be gentle..." he said slowly, every word seemed to be pulled out of him."Too few of them... too many injuries for those of us who lived..." His voice trailed off and he pulled away. "I'm sorry Padmé; I can't talk about this anymore... I just want to get washed up and lay down... you should eat... I know that you don't on the trip..."

          "I'll bring you something from the kitchen," Padmé said quietly, getting up. She cupped his chin in her hand and leaned down to kiss him, and he turned his cheek to her.

          "I'm sorry..." he murmured... "Please..."

          Padmé stroked his cheek tenderly,

          "It's alright," she said. "Get washed, I'll be back soon."

           Anakin nodded and headed towards the fresher as Padmé headed to the kitchen. She stopped at the door, wanting to call back to him and then thought better of it. Perhaps he would tell her tonight in bed, that's where they had shared most of their secrets, warm in each others embrace. With that thought, she headed to the kitchen. Anakin had been right as always, she never did eat on the journey from Coresaunt but now she found she had little appetite left.

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           Padmé came back to the suite a little later and found the room dark and quiet. She placed the tray of food onto the side table and slipped into the fresher. When she emerged a few minutes later, she slipped on a simple silken sheath and carefully made her way over to the bed. Anakin, who had been lying down, curled up into an almost fetal position, suddenly shot up, weapon in hand.

           "Padmé?" he called out into the shadows. "Is that you?"

           "Ani?" she answered quietly, a little surprised. "Of course it's me, were you expecting someone else to enter your bedchamber?" She tried to make her voice light. "A mistress perhaps...?"

            Anakin sat down heavily on the side of the bed and placed his face in his hands, shaking his head. Padmé slowly made her way over to him, aware that he was as jumpy as a nexu. She put her hand on his shoulder and inwardly winced as he unconsciously pulled away again.

            "Ani..." She whispered softly. "Tell me, what's wrong."

            Anakin stood up and started pacing around the bed. At last he stood at the window, and with his palms on the pane he sighed.

            "I... I can't. Not tonight. Maybe... maybe in the morning but not now." He slowly turned to face her again. "Please..."

            Padmé walked over to join him and tenderly encircled his waist with her arms. She pressed her body against his, feeling his desire for her against her belly.

             "It's alright," she murmured into his chest, but she was surprised to have him push her away.

              "I can't," he repeated softly. "Please Padmé, I can't..." he swallowed hard."Don't ask me to..."

               Now it was Padmé's turn to pull away.

               "What is it?" she asked, suddenly a little afraid. "Ani... you didn't bring me out here to tell me there's... there's not someone else?"

               "Of course not!" he replied a little more sharply than he had intended, and when he saw the hurt in her eyes, he tried to make amends. "It always has been, and always will be you... even..." and here he trailed off again, clearly embarrassed.

               "When..." Padmé prodded gently and with a little giggle to her voice. She had an idea...

               He mumbled something that sounded like 'alone' and turned away again, but at long last a small smile played about his lips.

                "Tell me," she pressed, trying to suppress her mirth.

                He mumbled again but this time she caught enough. The words 'you' and 'self indulgence', and his obvious embarrassment said it all, and at last she decided to let him off the hook.

                "Enough? Do you believe me?" he pleaded, and to his relief, she nodded in agreement.

                After a moment of uncomfortable silence, she asked him at last.

                "Do you want me to stay with you tonight, or do you want me to sleep in another room?"

                "I would like it if you were with me," he admitted. "But... but I can't... please..."

                 Padmé sighed, "Ani, come lay with me. I'll just hold you don't have to explain and you don't have to prove anything either. Just come..."

                 She lay down in the bed, and Anakin carefully rested his head on to her chest. He put his left arm behind and draped his right across the rest of the bed, almost as if he were desperately avoiding having to hold her back. Padmé seemingly didn't care and just began to stroke his head with her left hand, and his arm with her right.

                  "It's alright Ani," she whispered softly. "I'm here for you..."

                   Anakin said nothing, taking slow deep breaths trying to relax, and if Padmé noticed that her chest was getting damp, she said nothing about it.