Falls the Shadow

(Thanks to the Abstract for catching the errors! :x )

Chapter 8

Confessions

Padmé stepped out of the shower and the first thing she was aware of was the sound of something being thrown across the room. She cursed, and barely grabbing a towel, she dashed out to the bedroom.

Anakin stood facing the wall, head bowed, clenching his hands into a fist and out again. His breathing was ragged and slow as he obviously tried to maintain control. Padmé stood there, waiting to see if he would cool down or there would be a further outburst. At last he threw his head back and released a long shuddering breath.

"I'm sorry," he said finally, "I shouldn't have done that."

Padmé didn't say anything, but grabbed her dressing gown and slipped it on, watching him...

"It was a message from the High Marshal of the Fleet," he continued quietly, "I guess that in ten days, they are having a grand affair on Coruscant. I have to go and be presented with my 'official promotion' to 'Wing Captain'."

He drew in another long shuddering breath. "Bas-Mor' is gone... I guess she died last week. The wounds were too great. The four of us who have survived so far...we need to be 'debriefed' before the ceremony. The Marshal wants us to remember, 'for the good of the Republic', that it was the Separatists who caused the casualties. That by agreeing to this, our careers, our lives, would be so much better in the long run...Politicians!" he spat.

"It doesn't have to be that way Anakin," Padmé told him quietly, "I can spur an investigation in the Senate, this isn't RIGHT!"

Anakin wheeled around suddenly, "You'll do NO SUCH THING Padmé! It's too dangerous!"

"But Anakin... ," Padmé started, "That's my job, I've already made some inquires..."

"Stop them NOW!" he roared at her, and as she shrank away, he immediately reigned himself back in. "Please Padmé! It's too dangerous! Please..."

She stood there in shocked silence, waiting for Anakin to say or do something.

"It's about...support, and propaganda." He said at last. "If word got out that the army was weak, especially an army lead by the Jedi…" He held out his arms in exasperation.

"And what do you want me to do?" she asked suddenly, "Am I to just supposed to roll over and let this pass?"

"Yes..." said Anakin quietly, "If you love me, if you truly care for OUR future, you will." He sat down heavily on the bed, and put his face in his hands. "Padmé I'm truly sorry..."

"Talk to me Anakin..." she said quietly, "Tell me what I can do to help us get through this..."

"Let this go..." he reiterated softly, "The war is almost over. Follow through with the charade for a little while longer. Just a little while. At least, wait until you can talk to the Chancellor yourself... but for now... please..."

Padmé inwardly cursed herself. What Anakin was asking went against almost every fiber of her being, but she knew that he had a point. The fact that even the media, the Holo Net feed, which influenced public opinion, seemed to have a hand in it...

"Alright," she said at last, incredulous that she would follow such a path, "I'll let it go for now... but Anakin, in the future... no more secrets like this. I can't... I can't help if I don't know."

"Can I hold you Beloved?" he asked her suddenly, his voice barley above a whisper, "This is too much for me to take..."

"Me too," Padmé thought to herself, but prudently decided to stay her opinion. Instead, she made her way over to him and allowed him to embrace her. With a quick gesture, the lights in the room were dimmed again, and they slowly lay down together. Anakin placed his one arm behind, and softly draping his left arm over her belly he nuzzled the back of her neck, his breath warm and soft.

"Thank you," he said quietly, "Thank you for understanding."

She sighed, "But I don't understand Anakin... I don't understand any of it. I'll do as you ask, not for fear of discovery, but because I love you."

Slowly and carefully, she guided his hand farther up, and at first he resisted, a tremor running through his body.

"Padmé," he began, his voice cracking and she shushed him softly.

"It's alright," she said, shifting her body slightly, repositioning herself against him. At last she placed his hand under her breast, just resting it there. Anakin slowly realized that the sensation was more comforting than sexual. Just the closeness, the familiarity and the proximity were warm and welcoming.

"I've missed this most of all," he admitted. "Just being with you...I think the last time we had together to just 'be' was when we both attended that trade conference on Yir Tangee...Obi wan came down with a Rylothian cold and we were 'unfortunately detained' an extra week." He started to chuckle quietly, "Poor Obi-wan, if I thought I could safely have smuggled out one of his tissues..." They both started to giggle again at the memory.

"I need more memories like that, Padmé," he said suddenly, almost fiercely, "I need to know that I still have my wife, my friend... not just a lover..."

"Yes, go on..." Padmé encouraged him, understanding that at last he was beginning to open up to her again. He was quiet for a moment and at last continued.

"I... I... don't get me wrong... I love you, I truly do! As my lover, a man couldn't ask for more. I mean..." Here he choked for a moment. "My lover, my WIFE, is a woman who can go from vestal virgin to Corellian whore..."

Padmé snorted, "Well, as a SENATOR, I must be able to please..."

Anakin squeezed her against himself but would not be deterred.

"I miss my friend," he said quietly, "The woman whom I laughed with on our first picnic, the one who chastised me for using the force to rotate that Kabalian painting... I think they still haven't figured out which way is the right way up... do you understand Padmé?"

"Yes, I miss the laughter too..." she agreed, "You used the Force to send a tendril of feeling up my leg once at a very inappropriate time... How could I forget? We haven't had any real laughter in a while... either of us."

They lay quietly in each other's arms, both lost in thought and perhaps drifting off to sleep as well.

"There's a fair in Andeous, just north of here," Padme said, "I could purchase some regular clothing in the village tomorrow, we could go together. At least for one day, we could have a normal life between us. It wouldn't be perfect, and it wouldn't last, but it could sustain us for a little while." She sighed softly, "It's the best we can do for now, Ani... the best we can do."

Anakin kissed the top of her head.

"It sounds wonderful angel," he agreed, "And just perhaps, I'm not... I can't promise... but perhaps we can get up to a little... well you know."

"I know very well," she smiled, snuggling against him, "No pressure though, alright?" she added, "I love you Ani..."

Anakin kissed the top of her again and sighed, closing his eyes. Exhausted, he quickly followed his wife into a deep, and at last, contented sleep.