4, In Hiding
The doors to the Great Hall crashed open. Immediately the chatter and laughter of the students ceased. Hundreds of faces turned towards the entrance.
The teachers at the High Table raised their heads in alarm.
Remus Lupin strode through the tables, sparing no look for the students, his face almost unrecognisably with rage.
Laurel instinctively reached for Snape's hand. "Oh no," she whispered. "Something went wrong."
Snape studied Lupin's face. The usually so kind brown eyes had turned an eerie amber, and his lips were drawn back in a snarl. Remus showed a hell of a lot of teeth, Snape thought uneasily. He remembered the night more than twenty years ago when he'd seen the gentle Gryffindor turn into a roaring monster. A monster with many teeth …
Remus stopped right in front of Dumbledore, oblivious of the students who stared in fascination at the Professor.
"Where. Is. Serene."
His voice was a low growl that sent shivers down Laurel's spine.
"He can't turn without the moon, or can he?" she muttered.
"Oh yes, he can," answered Severus softly and rose from his seat. "If he is very scared … or very angry." He placed a hand at Laurel's shoulder. "When I say run, you'll run, without questions, promise me that."
She paled. "Not without you."
His face hardened. "Think about Jonah."
"Where is Serene?" demanded Remus again, his gace fixed at Dumbledore, who sat only a meter away, calm and in peace. The old wizard's blue eyes showed no fear, not even uneasiness.
Severus stepped behind the Headmaster, a silent presence, but Remus seemed not even to notice him.
Eventually Dumbledore sighed softly and pushed his plate back.
"Remus, we'll talk about this in my study."
Severus coughed. "I don't think this is a very good idea, Albus. He is not in the state to talk reasonably and …"
The Headmaster gave him a kind glance and a curt nod, that told him that the old wizard understood and appreciated his worries, but would not accept any contradictions.
"Remus?"
Laurel saw how hard it came to Lupin to control his fury. Hot anger radiated in almost palpable waves from him. But then he followed Dumbledore out of the Hall. Almost a minute there was complete silence, then everybody started to talk at the same instant. When the noise level became unbearable, Professor McGonagall clapped her hands sharply.
"There will be no more talk about this," she ordered. "You'll finish breakfast and proceed to your classes."
"Looks like the werewolf got some teeth after all," muttered Draco under his breath.
All the Headmasters leaned forward in their gilded frames, when Remus prowled the study. It was not often they caught such intense emotions in this room. Crying students, angry parents, yes. But not a wizard who was obviously just a step away losing control. Dumbledore had to offer him a seat twice - and after that firmly order him to sit down.
"Remus," said Dumbledore kindly, "what is wrong?"
"What is wrong?" Lupin laughed acidly. "I can't live without her, you knew that. And still you let her leave me."
"It was Serene's decision to go." The Headmaster cast a worried glance on the young wizard he remembered so well as a brave young boy. "She did not ask me for permission …"
"She would not have left without consulting you! At least give me a reason, Albus! Am I not …" His voice faltered. "Am I not good enough for her? Are you worried I'd hurt her?"
"Child, you'd never hurt anybody. The contrary is true. In fear of what is in you, you are all to willing to let others hurt you."
"So why did you let her leave?"
"Remus, she had a good reason. It is not up to me to tell you why she left, but it is not because of you, believe me."
"I want her back," Remus insisted through gritted teeth.
„Would you want her back against her will? Give her some time to think things over."
"I waited long enough. Three years, Albus!" He stared blindly in a void. "And even longer than that."
"I know."
Remus shook his head stubbornly. "She is in danger," he insisted. "I can feel it. And she is not well."
"Isn't it rather that you are unhappy that she is gone?" Dumbledore studied him with innocent eyes. "You can't force her to come back to Hogwarts, Remus."
"But I can go to her!"
The Headmaster raised both hands in a soothing gesture. "I don't know where she is, my boy. I know you won't believe me, but all she told me was that she had to leave."
"London." the younger wizard spat. "Where else could she go? She doesn't know anybody in England." His voice became a low growl. "Ben Olsen. She knows Ben Olsen."
"Remus …"
"I need to find her." He rose impatiently.
"No."
"No?" Remus frowned, his breath still ragged, and the beast in him raging to be released. Everything would be so much easier, if only he could forget about words and reason and kill whoever stood in his way … "What do you mean, no?"
"I insist that you honour your contract with this school. And your oath as a member of the Order of the Phoenix. I need you as a teacher, and with Serene gone, and Sirius on the run we are already short of staff. I can't do without another one."
Remus grabbed the backrest in a desperate attempt to calm down. "You forbid me to search for her?"
"I can't forbid you to go to London in your spare time," the Headmaster said. "But during the week you'll teach."
Remus' eyes showed only contempt for the wizard he had a day ago held so highly in regard.
„And I thought you cared about us," he said bitterly when he rose to leave the study. "With all your talk about love …"
The door slammed shut.
Dumbledore took off his glasses and polished them with a large handkerchief, before he tiredly let his head sink back against the chair.
"So young," he sighed when he saw how the Headmasters in the paintings frowned at Lupin's harsh exit. "How are they supposed to understand how important time is?"
* * *
"Remus!"
Laurel stood in front of the Potions lab and held out a hand to Lupin, who came down the stairs to the dungeons without looking left or right, neither paying attention to the Bloody Baron nor to the students he passed.
He gave her a cool stare and went right into the lab.
Snape was busy preparing roots and pods for the first years to grate, and looked up irritated when Remus slammed the door.
"Ah, it is Professor Lupin, polite and mild-mannered as always," he remarked caustically and put down the basket he held, making sure his wand was within easy reach.
"Tell your ... woman ... to stay away from me, Snape!" hissed Remus. "I shouldn't have listened to her in the first place!"
"My ... woman ... is famous for not doing as I tell her," shrugged Snape. "But I'll let her know. What happened?"
"Serene left." Suddenly all the rage evaporated and left nothing but pain. "She left."
Snape shot Laurel, who stood in the half open door, an accusing glance. 'I told you she was crazy!'
Laurel shook her head in disbelief. Could Remus be right? Had Serene left without even a word of good-bye to anyone?
"Are you sure you can go on another month without Wolfsbane?" asked Snape with more than a tinge of worry in his voice.
Remus crossed his arms over his chest, and to the Potions master it looked as if the other wizard tried to hug himself. "I won't take the Wolfsbane potion any longer."
His voice was very soft.
Snape raised an eyebrow. "Not for another month, you mean."
"No." Remus stared at him. "I won't take it anymore. Ever."
"Are you out of your mind?" The Potions master paled and went to the door to close it right into Laurel's face. "You know that the Ministry let you teach only on the condition that you ..."
"That I spent half my life asleep and the rest of it dead-tired? I feel ... awake." Lupin still starred at Snape. "For the first time in so many years I don't feel drowsy."
The shuffling of feet and muffled chatter beyond the door announced the arrival of Snape's class, but apparently Laurel was alert enough to not let them enter the Potions classroom or the lab.
Remus clenched and flexed his fists as if he expected them to suddenly turn into claws. "Find me something else, Snape."
"Sure, why not?" The Potions master scowled at him. "It took years to develop the Wolfsbane potion, but if Professor Lupin demands it, I, as his humble servant, shall find something else."
The deeply hurt look he got for his sarcasm made him sigh. "Alright, I'll try. But don't expect any results."
When Lupin turned to the door, Snape held him back. "Is it true? She left?"
All he got was a curt nod.
"But where did she go?"
"I don't know." Remus did not look at him, but at something Snape could not see. "Yet."
* * *
Serene passed through the Leaky Cauldron without listening to the whistling of a group of punters leaning at the bar. If only she could get past the wall and into Diagon Alley where she'd mingle with the crowd ...
The last weeks had been terrible.
She had left Hogwarts before breakfast, had left Remus sleeping in the clearing. Going by broom had not allowed her to bring more baggage than a large bag with clothes and some of her dearest belongings. Everything else she'd get later, she thought tiredly, when she knocked at the bricks in the appropriate order.
She had found a job in a coffee shop the next day, and went there every morning by tube, squeezed between bleary-eyed Muggles, who were on their way to work, too. The salary was meagre, hardly enough to pay the rent for the bed-sit she had found in a rundown part of the big city. But it had to do for now. She had to save the money in her account at Gringott's for real emergencies.
Ben Olsen waited for her at the corner of Perpetu and Diagon Alley, critically clucking his tongue when he saw her tired face.
"I told you it was nonsense to take up a job as a Muggle servant." He took her elbow and led her into one of the narrow side-alleys. "Why don't you use your talent and work for me?"
"For Him rather ...", Serene muttered. It wasn't just the late hours she had to work and the noisy house she lived in, she thought, when she spotted her pale face in a shop window. She felt so ... sad, lately. It was as if a dark spot in her soul had slowly started to spread from the moment she'd left the school. There had always been darker and lighter times in her life, but this time, she feared, she was in for something bad. Every morning when she woke up, her pillow was wet with tears, and her heart hurt from dreams she could not remember.
"Listen, Ben, lets not have the same discussion over and over again," she pleaded. "I only agreed to meet you for a drink, not for a sermon about You- know-Who's virtues."
Ben called himself to more patience. He had her almost where he wanted her, hadn't he? She was in London, and he was the only wizard she knew there.
"You are right," he agreed, a soothing tone to his voice. "No sermon today. Instead I got you something you'll like."
"A Death Eater's cloak?"
He grit his teeth and smiled as if he found the tired joke funny. "No. Two tickets to a charity ball in a fortnight." He bowed and presented an invitation. "On the 21st of December, at the townhouse of Countess de Malheur."
"A ball?" Satisfied he saw how Serene's face got some colour. "A real ball?"
"A real ball," he nodded. "Everybody of any importance in the wizarding society will be there. So no puffy eyes, do you hear me?" He reached for her hand and looked at it in disdain. "And stop biting your fingernails!"
Serene considered for a moment to show him how well she could claw out his eyes even with bitten nails, but then her mind gladly busied itself with the question what to wear. Ben kept talking, she suspected later, but she didn't listen to him at all.
* * *
Remus stood in Diagon Alley near Fortescue's ice-cream parlour and raked his hands desperately through his silver-streaked mane. A hag in the Leaky Cauldron had insisted she'd seen Serene pass through into Diagon Alley a few days ago. But he'd searched every shop, had interrogated every shop owner and patron he could get hold of. Nobody could remember a red-haired witch.
But there were other alleys, other places. With a dull ache in his stomach he took a left turn into Knockturn Alley.
* * *
The charity event took place in one of those houses which let you forget that there were any people in dire need of aforementioned charity. The exhibition of magical artefacts would open for the wizarding public the next day, but this evening the Ministry had invited wealthy sponsors to thank them for their contributions. Ben, dressed in his usual stern black, and Serene - in an emerald robe of her own design - drew many admiring looks at them as they slowly paraded through the crowd that had assembled at the doors. This time Ben had not criticised her, had merely pushed some pins deeper into the high crown of red tangles, because her hairdo seemed so ... unruly. Otherwise she had passed, and the dress, he remarked, looked as if it had been bought in Paris, not made at home with only a wand and a few yards of heavy silk.
In the entrance hall Serene spotted a red-haired witch who bore a close resemblance to two of her students. This must be Molly Weasley, she thought, quite surprised to find the woman in the company of Malfoy, Ben and more Death Eaters than you could shake a wand at. But then Ron and Ginny's father worked for the Ministry, so Arthur Weasley would be somewhere around as well.
"Dear Ben." A cool voice with a slight French accent made Ben turn. "Take a seat at our table, please. And bring your ... companion."
The speaker, a woman of undeterminably age, stood in the middle of the room with so much grace and self-confidence, that Serene suspected her to be the owner of the house. She wore a robe of exquisite design made of violet silk, and a necklace and bracelet studded with diamonds. Intricately braided dark hair and coal-black eyes set off her very white skin even more.
Ben raised the woman's elegant hand to his mouth. Then he cleared his throat. " Laeticia, may I introduce Miss Serene Kennedy. Serene, have you met our hostess, the Countess de Malheur?
The woman gave Serene the once-over from red hair to green satin shoes. "So you are Ben's little witch?" she asked in a condescending tone that made Serene seethe at once.
"Not that I know of." She replied rather brusque.
Ben winced. "Serene is a bit nervous," he apologised to the Countess. His grip around Serene's arm had become painful. "She is not used to civilised society, having spent the last three years in Hogwarts." He pushed the chair against the back of her knees, forcing her to take a seat next to the Countess.
The elegant woman's eyes narrowed. "Hogwarts? "she asked and suddenly a strained undercurrent tainted the blasé tone of her voice. "So we may have a common acquaintance ..."
"Is that so?" Serene wished she'd never come. These people were dangerous, leery or boring, some of them all three combined. And Ben behaved as if he'd bought her at an arts fair. Any minute now he'd ask her to show her teeth ...
"But of course," mused Laeticia de Malheur. "The cute little werewolf ... Cousin Lucius told me he was a Professor at Hogwarts now. What was his name again ..." She tapped her fan against her wrist, and the diamond bracelets jingled.
"Remus Lupin," said Serene through gritted teeth. A flash of jealousy shot right through her heart.
"Ah, Remus! Yes, I remember." The elegant woman smiled like a cat who had just devoured both the mouse and the bowl of cream. "Delicious. So ... innocent."
"Innocent?" Ben Olsen frowned. He was not too pleased about the direction the conversation took. Reminding Serene of that wizard was not what he had intended when he'd invited her to the ball. But Laeticia seemed to gain a cruel pleasure out of dropping hints of her relationship with Lupin. Maybe the other woman's allusions made Serene reconsider her high opinion of the damn werewolf.
"Such an avid student," the countess said dreamily, still watching Serene's reaction.
The wizard to her right laughed haughtily. "I can quite imagine what you taught him, my dear Laeticia.
"Well," she puckered her scarlet lips and gave the wizard a flirty wink, "you know that usually I don't do basic education. But in this case ... it was quite exciting to be his first ... teacher ..."
Serene stared at her plate and grabbed the fork so hard she felt the silver bend. So what if this beautiful woman had once shared a bed with Remus? Why did this make her dizzy with jealousy? She had no claims on Remus, no right to judge what he'd done in the past or would do in the future.
"And how strange to think that now Lupin is a teacher himself." The countess raised a finely drawn eyebrow. "Although I doubt we teach the same subject."
"He teaches Defence against the Dark Arts," said Ben, a remark that instigated a bout of laughter from the company at her table.
"That's just so … appropriate!" Laeticia tabbed the corner of her eyes with a handkerchief.
When the laughter had ebbed off, an austere looking wizard from across the table nodded to Ben. "I hear congratulations are in order, Olsen?" he asked.
Ben blushed and could not hide his pride. "It is only a small mission," he tried to appear humble but to no avail.
"There are no small missions! No for our cause," replied the old wizard with a wheezing cough.
As the conversation turned inevitably to politics, Serene kept her eyes on Ben, sensing at the same time that the Countess watched her, much like a bird of prey. She felt like one of Remus' kappas in their water-tank. She'd tell him to set the poor things free ... No. She would not. It fate had any mercy Remus Lupin would never see her again. The thought almost made her cry.
The evening went on and on, and when they finally left the Countess' house, Serene felt as if she'd spent eternity in the hot noisy dining room. Just as bad as her workplace, only that the Muggles she served did not plan revolution and mass-murder, she thought. At least they did not tell her about it ...
"This mission of yours .." she asked casually, as Ben walked her back to the tube, because she had refused to let him Apparate her home. "Somebody told me it will happen at Kings Cross. Can I come an watch?"
Ben gave her a pleased look. "If you want. I am taking the Dementors to dinner."
Serene gaped at him, her mind trying to see the joke in his words, but failing. Because there was no joke.
"Voldemort lets the Dementors raid Kings Cross tomorrow afternoon."
"The ... Dementors?"
"The Dementors are our allies," Ben boasted. "They'll follow every order of our Dark Lord!"
"These … creatures?" Serene shivered. "I didn't have the impression that they followed anybody but their own intentions."
"Of course they have their … needs." He started to try and put hair strands back into the bun. Impatiently Serene pushed his hands away and fixed the pins herself.
"Needs! To suck out the soul of whoever they meet?"
"They are no danger to you, my darling. Just stay with me and they'll not so much as touch you."
Ignoring the endearment, she walked away from him.
"Great, so I am not in danger. Only all of Kings Cross!"
"Get it into your pretty head, Serene," Ben chided. "You are one of us now. You must dispose of your stupid scruples. Stop wasting you pity on those weaklings. Join the side of power."
She paused and turned to him, her eyes in the shadows. "You are so right, Ben. Power is what I need on my side."
* * *
Malfoy's town house was situated in a quiet alley behind Gringott's. Serene looked up at the high windows and threw her hair back. After all, the wizard was nothing but one of Ben's Death Eater pals, so who was she afraid of? Then she admitted to herself that her palms were sweaty with fear. Malfoy was capable of murder, and guilty as well from what Ben had told her with grudging respect. But not even Lucius Malfoy could let something so horrible happen, or could he?
A house-elf opened the door a gap and bowed to the visitor.
"You wish?" he chirped.
"I have an appointment with your master," Serene lied quick-witted.
The elf frowned and let his ears drop unhappily. "I is not sure if Master Malfoy is ready to see you."
"Believe me, he is."
Serene slipped through the gap and took a quick look around. The house was small, but exquisitely furnished. Claire had told her about the beautiful Malfoy Manor, and the townhouse was just as lovely. She decided that the double-doors to her right had to lead to Malfoy's study.
"But Miss, no! I is to announce you!" The elf hopped up and down and tried to block her way, but she just ignored him.
Malfoy frowned and put down the Daily Prophet. "Miss … Kennedy?"
"Right." Serene pushed the elf back into the hall and shut the door.
Malfoy rose. "I shall …"
"Please give me five minutes of your time, Mr Malfoy." She tried to speak in a calm and reasonable tone. Nobody could hold it against the wizard if he refused to listen to a witch who foamed from the mouth … "Five minutes to explain."
He shrugged and pointed at a chair in front of the desk. "Five minutes."
Awkwardly she sat down. She had not slept, and her hair was a wild mess of copper tangles. But then again, this was not a social event. She was here to prevent a tragedy, a horrible crime, and maybe her dishevelled looks made her matter a bit more credible. And she was running out of time, and wasting precious seconds worrying about her hair!
"Ben Olsen will let the Death Eaters raid Kings Cross this evening," she shot out.
Malfoy yawned. "Is that all?"
"Didn't you hear me?"
"Olsen. Dementors. Kings Cross. I heard you." He fiddled with a large glass bowl full of Rememberalls. "Four minutes to go."
Serene felt as if the ground under her feet shook. "So you are aware of this?"
He sneered. "No, to be honest I was not. But on the other hand, Olsen is ambitious and eager to please our Dark Lord." His eyes narrowed. "And as far as I remember, you are his present companion, so you should be interested in all the extra credits he gains by feeding the Dementors."
She ignored his remark about being Ben's 'companion, and tried to talk reason into him. "You can't possibly want hundreds of innocents to die?"
Malfoy gave her a mirthless grin. "They'll hardly die, won't they? If they are worth their graduation diploma they can always call their Patronus to help. And those who are too stupid to do it," he shrugged, "are not a great loss for the wizarding world."
"There will be mostly Muggles! They can't call a Patronus!"
He rose from his chair and stepped to the window, juggling two Rememberalls. "Now, why would I care about Muggles?" In the grey light of the December afternoon he looked much older than Remus, Serene noticed suddenly. She knew that Lucius Malfoy, Remus, Sirus and Snape had all been in the same year in Hogwarts, but Malfoy appeared as if his persisting contact with Darkness had sucked all live and happiness out of him. If she needed a sign to warn her to not join Ben, here it was. Whatever happened, she had no intention to end up like Malfoy, a mere shell of what had been human once.
"So you won't do anything about it?"
"We need the Dementors. They need to be fed once in a while. I'd rather have them feast on the Muggles than on us." He scowled. "Think of it as their Christmas Dinner."
Serene felt a cold shiver run down her back. There it was again, the flighty thought she hadn't been able to catch all night long. Something about Christmas … something to do with Hogwarts.
Malfoy rose the Rememberall against the light and studied it. "So I suggest you stay away from the train station until you see the ambulances leave."
"Christmas!" she whispered in sudden understanding. "Of course."
Impatiently he shook his head. "Will that be all, Miss Kennedy? I am a busy man."
"Too busy to pick up your son from the train station?"
A wave of nausea hit her as all the pieces fell into place, and she pressed a hand to her mouth to not throw up.
"Why should I pick up Draco? Christmas is only …" He fell silent.
Serene could see how his brain feverishly came to the same conclusion as hers - only much faster …
"Christmas will be on Tuesday." Her voice was very calm now. "So Hogwarts sends the students home before the weekend. On Friday, to be precisely. Today."
"If what you say is true, the train will be full of students on their way home for the holidays." He swallowed hard, his face suddenly pale as death. "Am I right?"
Serene shrugged. "Well, who cares?" she repeated his words.
Malfoy closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. „Draco will be on that train."
* * *
The doors to the Great Hall crashed open. Immediately the chatter and laughter of the students ceased. Hundreds of faces turned towards the entrance.
The teachers at the High Table raised their heads in alarm.
Remus Lupin strode through the tables, sparing no look for the students, his face almost unrecognisably with rage.
Laurel instinctively reached for Snape's hand. "Oh no," she whispered. "Something went wrong."
Snape studied Lupin's face. The usually so kind brown eyes had turned an eerie amber, and his lips were drawn back in a snarl. Remus showed a hell of a lot of teeth, Snape thought uneasily. He remembered the night more than twenty years ago when he'd seen the gentle Gryffindor turn into a roaring monster. A monster with many teeth …
Remus stopped right in front of Dumbledore, oblivious of the students who stared in fascination at the Professor.
"Where. Is. Serene."
His voice was a low growl that sent shivers down Laurel's spine.
"He can't turn without the moon, or can he?" she muttered.
"Oh yes, he can," answered Severus softly and rose from his seat. "If he is very scared … or very angry." He placed a hand at Laurel's shoulder. "When I say run, you'll run, without questions, promise me that."
She paled. "Not without you."
His face hardened. "Think about Jonah."
"Where is Serene?" demanded Remus again, his gace fixed at Dumbledore, who sat only a meter away, calm and in peace. The old wizard's blue eyes showed no fear, not even uneasiness.
Severus stepped behind the Headmaster, a silent presence, but Remus seemed not even to notice him.
Eventually Dumbledore sighed softly and pushed his plate back.
"Remus, we'll talk about this in my study."
Severus coughed. "I don't think this is a very good idea, Albus. He is not in the state to talk reasonably and …"
The Headmaster gave him a kind glance and a curt nod, that told him that the old wizard understood and appreciated his worries, but would not accept any contradictions.
"Remus?"
Laurel saw how hard it came to Lupin to control his fury. Hot anger radiated in almost palpable waves from him. But then he followed Dumbledore out of the Hall. Almost a minute there was complete silence, then everybody started to talk at the same instant. When the noise level became unbearable, Professor McGonagall clapped her hands sharply.
"There will be no more talk about this," she ordered. "You'll finish breakfast and proceed to your classes."
"Looks like the werewolf got some teeth after all," muttered Draco under his breath.
All the Headmasters leaned forward in their gilded frames, when Remus prowled the study. It was not often they caught such intense emotions in this room. Crying students, angry parents, yes. But not a wizard who was obviously just a step away losing control. Dumbledore had to offer him a seat twice - and after that firmly order him to sit down.
"Remus," said Dumbledore kindly, "what is wrong?"
"What is wrong?" Lupin laughed acidly. "I can't live without her, you knew that. And still you let her leave me."
"It was Serene's decision to go." The Headmaster cast a worried glance on the young wizard he remembered so well as a brave young boy. "She did not ask me for permission …"
"She would not have left without consulting you! At least give me a reason, Albus! Am I not …" His voice faltered. "Am I not good enough for her? Are you worried I'd hurt her?"
"Child, you'd never hurt anybody. The contrary is true. In fear of what is in you, you are all to willing to let others hurt you."
"So why did you let her leave?"
"Remus, she had a good reason. It is not up to me to tell you why she left, but it is not because of you, believe me."
"I want her back," Remus insisted through gritted teeth.
„Would you want her back against her will? Give her some time to think things over."
"I waited long enough. Three years, Albus!" He stared blindly in a void. "And even longer than that."
"I know."
Remus shook his head stubbornly. "She is in danger," he insisted. "I can feel it. And she is not well."
"Isn't it rather that you are unhappy that she is gone?" Dumbledore studied him with innocent eyes. "You can't force her to come back to Hogwarts, Remus."
"But I can go to her!"
The Headmaster raised both hands in a soothing gesture. "I don't know where she is, my boy. I know you won't believe me, but all she told me was that she had to leave."
"London." the younger wizard spat. "Where else could she go? She doesn't know anybody in England." His voice became a low growl. "Ben Olsen. She knows Ben Olsen."
"Remus …"
"I need to find her." He rose impatiently.
"No."
"No?" Remus frowned, his breath still ragged, and the beast in him raging to be released. Everything would be so much easier, if only he could forget about words and reason and kill whoever stood in his way … "What do you mean, no?"
"I insist that you honour your contract with this school. And your oath as a member of the Order of the Phoenix. I need you as a teacher, and with Serene gone, and Sirius on the run we are already short of staff. I can't do without another one."
Remus grabbed the backrest in a desperate attempt to calm down. "You forbid me to search for her?"
"I can't forbid you to go to London in your spare time," the Headmaster said. "But during the week you'll teach."
Remus' eyes showed only contempt for the wizard he had a day ago held so highly in regard.
„And I thought you cared about us," he said bitterly when he rose to leave the study. "With all your talk about love …"
The door slammed shut.
Dumbledore took off his glasses and polished them with a large handkerchief, before he tiredly let his head sink back against the chair.
"So young," he sighed when he saw how the Headmasters in the paintings frowned at Lupin's harsh exit. "How are they supposed to understand how important time is?"
* * *
"Remus!"
Laurel stood in front of the Potions lab and held out a hand to Lupin, who came down the stairs to the dungeons without looking left or right, neither paying attention to the Bloody Baron nor to the students he passed.
He gave her a cool stare and went right into the lab.
Snape was busy preparing roots and pods for the first years to grate, and looked up irritated when Remus slammed the door.
"Ah, it is Professor Lupin, polite and mild-mannered as always," he remarked caustically and put down the basket he held, making sure his wand was within easy reach.
"Tell your ... woman ... to stay away from me, Snape!" hissed Remus. "I shouldn't have listened to her in the first place!"
"My ... woman ... is famous for not doing as I tell her," shrugged Snape. "But I'll let her know. What happened?"
"Serene left." Suddenly all the rage evaporated and left nothing but pain. "She left."
Snape shot Laurel, who stood in the half open door, an accusing glance. 'I told you she was crazy!'
Laurel shook her head in disbelief. Could Remus be right? Had Serene left without even a word of good-bye to anyone?
"Are you sure you can go on another month without Wolfsbane?" asked Snape with more than a tinge of worry in his voice.
Remus crossed his arms over his chest, and to the Potions master it looked as if the other wizard tried to hug himself. "I won't take the Wolfsbane potion any longer."
His voice was very soft.
Snape raised an eyebrow. "Not for another month, you mean."
"No." Remus stared at him. "I won't take it anymore. Ever."
"Are you out of your mind?" The Potions master paled and went to the door to close it right into Laurel's face. "You know that the Ministry let you teach only on the condition that you ..."
"That I spent half my life asleep and the rest of it dead-tired? I feel ... awake." Lupin still starred at Snape. "For the first time in so many years I don't feel drowsy."
The shuffling of feet and muffled chatter beyond the door announced the arrival of Snape's class, but apparently Laurel was alert enough to not let them enter the Potions classroom or the lab.
Remus clenched and flexed his fists as if he expected them to suddenly turn into claws. "Find me something else, Snape."
"Sure, why not?" The Potions master scowled at him. "It took years to develop the Wolfsbane potion, but if Professor Lupin demands it, I, as his humble servant, shall find something else."
The deeply hurt look he got for his sarcasm made him sigh. "Alright, I'll try. But don't expect any results."
When Lupin turned to the door, Snape held him back. "Is it true? She left?"
All he got was a curt nod.
"But where did she go?"
"I don't know." Remus did not look at him, but at something Snape could not see. "Yet."
* * *
Serene passed through the Leaky Cauldron without listening to the whistling of a group of punters leaning at the bar. If only she could get past the wall and into Diagon Alley where she'd mingle with the crowd ...
The last weeks had been terrible.
She had left Hogwarts before breakfast, had left Remus sleeping in the clearing. Going by broom had not allowed her to bring more baggage than a large bag with clothes and some of her dearest belongings. Everything else she'd get later, she thought tiredly, when she knocked at the bricks in the appropriate order.
She had found a job in a coffee shop the next day, and went there every morning by tube, squeezed between bleary-eyed Muggles, who were on their way to work, too. The salary was meagre, hardly enough to pay the rent for the bed-sit she had found in a rundown part of the big city. But it had to do for now. She had to save the money in her account at Gringott's for real emergencies.
Ben Olsen waited for her at the corner of Perpetu and Diagon Alley, critically clucking his tongue when he saw her tired face.
"I told you it was nonsense to take up a job as a Muggle servant." He took her elbow and led her into one of the narrow side-alleys. "Why don't you use your talent and work for me?"
"For Him rather ...", Serene muttered. It wasn't just the late hours she had to work and the noisy house she lived in, she thought, when she spotted her pale face in a shop window. She felt so ... sad, lately. It was as if a dark spot in her soul had slowly started to spread from the moment she'd left the school. There had always been darker and lighter times in her life, but this time, she feared, she was in for something bad. Every morning when she woke up, her pillow was wet with tears, and her heart hurt from dreams she could not remember.
"Listen, Ben, lets not have the same discussion over and over again," she pleaded. "I only agreed to meet you for a drink, not for a sermon about You- know-Who's virtues."
Ben called himself to more patience. He had her almost where he wanted her, hadn't he? She was in London, and he was the only wizard she knew there.
"You are right," he agreed, a soothing tone to his voice. "No sermon today. Instead I got you something you'll like."
"A Death Eater's cloak?"
He grit his teeth and smiled as if he found the tired joke funny. "No. Two tickets to a charity ball in a fortnight." He bowed and presented an invitation. "On the 21st of December, at the townhouse of Countess de Malheur."
"A ball?" Satisfied he saw how Serene's face got some colour. "A real ball?"
"A real ball," he nodded. "Everybody of any importance in the wizarding society will be there. So no puffy eyes, do you hear me?" He reached for her hand and looked at it in disdain. "And stop biting your fingernails!"
Serene considered for a moment to show him how well she could claw out his eyes even with bitten nails, but then her mind gladly busied itself with the question what to wear. Ben kept talking, she suspected later, but she didn't listen to him at all.
* * *
Remus stood in Diagon Alley near Fortescue's ice-cream parlour and raked his hands desperately through his silver-streaked mane. A hag in the Leaky Cauldron had insisted she'd seen Serene pass through into Diagon Alley a few days ago. But he'd searched every shop, had interrogated every shop owner and patron he could get hold of. Nobody could remember a red-haired witch.
But there were other alleys, other places. With a dull ache in his stomach he took a left turn into Knockturn Alley.
* * *
The charity event took place in one of those houses which let you forget that there were any people in dire need of aforementioned charity. The exhibition of magical artefacts would open for the wizarding public the next day, but this evening the Ministry had invited wealthy sponsors to thank them for their contributions. Ben, dressed in his usual stern black, and Serene - in an emerald robe of her own design - drew many admiring looks at them as they slowly paraded through the crowd that had assembled at the doors. This time Ben had not criticised her, had merely pushed some pins deeper into the high crown of red tangles, because her hairdo seemed so ... unruly. Otherwise she had passed, and the dress, he remarked, looked as if it had been bought in Paris, not made at home with only a wand and a few yards of heavy silk.
In the entrance hall Serene spotted a red-haired witch who bore a close resemblance to two of her students. This must be Molly Weasley, she thought, quite surprised to find the woman in the company of Malfoy, Ben and more Death Eaters than you could shake a wand at. But then Ron and Ginny's father worked for the Ministry, so Arthur Weasley would be somewhere around as well.
"Dear Ben." A cool voice with a slight French accent made Ben turn. "Take a seat at our table, please. And bring your ... companion."
The speaker, a woman of undeterminably age, stood in the middle of the room with so much grace and self-confidence, that Serene suspected her to be the owner of the house. She wore a robe of exquisite design made of violet silk, and a necklace and bracelet studded with diamonds. Intricately braided dark hair and coal-black eyes set off her very white skin even more.
Ben raised the woman's elegant hand to his mouth. Then he cleared his throat. " Laeticia, may I introduce Miss Serene Kennedy. Serene, have you met our hostess, the Countess de Malheur?
The woman gave Serene the once-over from red hair to green satin shoes. "So you are Ben's little witch?" she asked in a condescending tone that made Serene seethe at once.
"Not that I know of." She replied rather brusque.
Ben winced. "Serene is a bit nervous," he apologised to the Countess. His grip around Serene's arm had become painful. "She is not used to civilised society, having spent the last three years in Hogwarts." He pushed the chair against the back of her knees, forcing her to take a seat next to the Countess.
The elegant woman's eyes narrowed. "Hogwarts? "she asked and suddenly a strained undercurrent tainted the blasé tone of her voice. "So we may have a common acquaintance ..."
"Is that so?" Serene wished she'd never come. These people were dangerous, leery or boring, some of them all three combined. And Ben behaved as if he'd bought her at an arts fair. Any minute now he'd ask her to show her teeth ...
"But of course," mused Laeticia de Malheur. "The cute little werewolf ... Cousin Lucius told me he was a Professor at Hogwarts now. What was his name again ..." She tapped her fan against her wrist, and the diamond bracelets jingled.
"Remus Lupin," said Serene through gritted teeth. A flash of jealousy shot right through her heart.
"Ah, Remus! Yes, I remember." The elegant woman smiled like a cat who had just devoured both the mouse and the bowl of cream. "Delicious. So ... innocent."
"Innocent?" Ben Olsen frowned. He was not too pleased about the direction the conversation took. Reminding Serene of that wizard was not what he had intended when he'd invited her to the ball. But Laeticia seemed to gain a cruel pleasure out of dropping hints of her relationship with Lupin. Maybe the other woman's allusions made Serene reconsider her high opinion of the damn werewolf.
"Such an avid student," the countess said dreamily, still watching Serene's reaction.
The wizard to her right laughed haughtily. "I can quite imagine what you taught him, my dear Laeticia.
"Well," she puckered her scarlet lips and gave the wizard a flirty wink, "you know that usually I don't do basic education. But in this case ... it was quite exciting to be his first ... teacher ..."
Serene stared at her plate and grabbed the fork so hard she felt the silver bend. So what if this beautiful woman had once shared a bed with Remus? Why did this make her dizzy with jealousy? She had no claims on Remus, no right to judge what he'd done in the past or would do in the future.
"And how strange to think that now Lupin is a teacher himself." The countess raised a finely drawn eyebrow. "Although I doubt we teach the same subject."
"He teaches Defence against the Dark Arts," said Ben, a remark that instigated a bout of laughter from the company at her table.
"That's just so … appropriate!" Laeticia tabbed the corner of her eyes with a handkerchief.
When the laughter had ebbed off, an austere looking wizard from across the table nodded to Ben. "I hear congratulations are in order, Olsen?" he asked.
Ben blushed and could not hide his pride. "It is only a small mission," he tried to appear humble but to no avail.
"There are no small missions! No for our cause," replied the old wizard with a wheezing cough.
As the conversation turned inevitably to politics, Serene kept her eyes on Ben, sensing at the same time that the Countess watched her, much like a bird of prey. She felt like one of Remus' kappas in their water-tank. She'd tell him to set the poor things free ... No. She would not. It fate had any mercy Remus Lupin would never see her again. The thought almost made her cry.
The evening went on and on, and when they finally left the Countess' house, Serene felt as if she'd spent eternity in the hot noisy dining room. Just as bad as her workplace, only that the Muggles she served did not plan revolution and mass-murder, she thought. At least they did not tell her about it ...
"This mission of yours .." she asked casually, as Ben walked her back to the tube, because she had refused to let him Apparate her home. "Somebody told me it will happen at Kings Cross. Can I come an watch?"
Ben gave her a pleased look. "If you want. I am taking the Dementors to dinner."
Serene gaped at him, her mind trying to see the joke in his words, but failing. Because there was no joke.
"Voldemort lets the Dementors raid Kings Cross tomorrow afternoon."
"The ... Dementors?"
"The Dementors are our allies," Ben boasted. "They'll follow every order of our Dark Lord!"
"These … creatures?" Serene shivered. "I didn't have the impression that they followed anybody but their own intentions."
"Of course they have their … needs." He started to try and put hair strands back into the bun. Impatiently Serene pushed his hands away and fixed the pins herself.
"Needs! To suck out the soul of whoever they meet?"
"They are no danger to you, my darling. Just stay with me and they'll not so much as touch you."
Ignoring the endearment, she walked away from him.
"Great, so I am not in danger. Only all of Kings Cross!"
"Get it into your pretty head, Serene," Ben chided. "You are one of us now. You must dispose of your stupid scruples. Stop wasting you pity on those weaklings. Join the side of power."
She paused and turned to him, her eyes in the shadows. "You are so right, Ben. Power is what I need on my side."
* * *
Malfoy's town house was situated in a quiet alley behind Gringott's. Serene looked up at the high windows and threw her hair back. After all, the wizard was nothing but one of Ben's Death Eater pals, so who was she afraid of? Then she admitted to herself that her palms were sweaty with fear. Malfoy was capable of murder, and guilty as well from what Ben had told her with grudging respect. But not even Lucius Malfoy could let something so horrible happen, or could he?
A house-elf opened the door a gap and bowed to the visitor.
"You wish?" he chirped.
"I have an appointment with your master," Serene lied quick-witted.
The elf frowned and let his ears drop unhappily. "I is not sure if Master Malfoy is ready to see you."
"Believe me, he is."
Serene slipped through the gap and took a quick look around. The house was small, but exquisitely furnished. Claire had told her about the beautiful Malfoy Manor, and the townhouse was just as lovely. She decided that the double-doors to her right had to lead to Malfoy's study.
"But Miss, no! I is to announce you!" The elf hopped up and down and tried to block her way, but she just ignored him.
Malfoy frowned and put down the Daily Prophet. "Miss … Kennedy?"
"Right." Serene pushed the elf back into the hall and shut the door.
Malfoy rose. "I shall …"
"Please give me five minutes of your time, Mr Malfoy." She tried to speak in a calm and reasonable tone. Nobody could hold it against the wizard if he refused to listen to a witch who foamed from the mouth … "Five minutes to explain."
He shrugged and pointed at a chair in front of the desk. "Five minutes."
Awkwardly she sat down. She had not slept, and her hair was a wild mess of copper tangles. But then again, this was not a social event. She was here to prevent a tragedy, a horrible crime, and maybe her dishevelled looks made her matter a bit more credible. And she was running out of time, and wasting precious seconds worrying about her hair!
"Ben Olsen will let the Death Eaters raid Kings Cross this evening," she shot out.
Malfoy yawned. "Is that all?"
"Didn't you hear me?"
"Olsen. Dementors. Kings Cross. I heard you." He fiddled with a large glass bowl full of Rememberalls. "Four minutes to go."
Serene felt as if the ground under her feet shook. "So you are aware of this?"
He sneered. "No, to be honest I was not. But on the other hand, Olsen is ambitious and eager to please our Dark Lord." His eyes narrowed. "And as far as I remember, you are his present companion, so you should be interested in all the extra credits he gains by feeding the Dementors."
She ignored his remark about being Ben's 'companion, and tried to talk reason into him. "You can't possibly want hundreds of innocents to die?"
Malfoy gave her a mirthless grin. "They'll hardly die, won't they? If they are worth their graduation diploma they can always call their Patronus to help. And those who are too stupid to do it," he shrugged, "are not a great loss for the wizarding world."
"There will be mostly Muggles! They can't call a Patronus!"
He rose from his chair and stepped to the window, juggling two Rememberalls. "Now, why would I care about Muggles?" In the grey light of the December afternoon he looked much older than Remus, Serene noticed suddenly. She knew that Lucius Malfoy, Remus, Sirus and Snape had all been in the same year in Hogwarts, but Malfoy appeared as if his persisting contact with Darkness had sucked all live and happiness out of him. If she needed a sign to warn her to not join Ben, here it was. Whatever happened, she had no intention to end up like Malfoy, a mere shell of what had been human once.
"So you won't do anything about it?"
"We need the Dementors. They need to be fed once in a while. I'd rather have them feast on the Muggles than on us." He scowled. "Think of it as their Christmas Dinner."
Serene felt a cold shiver run down her back. There it was again, the flighty thought she hadn't been able to catch all night long. Something about Christmas … something to do with Hogwarts.
Malfoy rose the Rememberall against the light and studied it. "So I suggest you stay away from the train station until you see the ambulances leave."
"Christmas!" she whispered in sudden understanding. "Of course."
Impatiently he shook his head. "Will that be all, Miss Kennedy? I am a busy man."
"Too busy to pick up your son from the train station?"
A wave of nausea hit her as all the pieces fell into place, and she pressed a hand to her mouth to not throw up.
"Why should I pick up Draco? Christmas is only …" He fell silent.
Serene could see how his brain feverishly came to the same conclusion as hers - only much faster …
"Christmas will be on Tuesday." Her voice was very calm now. "So Hogwarts sends the students home before the weekend. On Friday, to be precisely. Today."
"If what you say is true, the train will be full of students on their way home for the holidays." He swallowed hard, his face suddenly pale as death. "Am I right?"
Serene shrugged. "Well, who cares?" she repeated his words.
Malfoy closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. „Draco will be on that train."
* * *