Title: Shades of Twilight
Rating: PG
Note:At first, I was going to wait to upload this chapter, but I got all impatient. :-) The first chapter, as necessary as it is, strikes me as being pretty uninteresting. This one isn't great, but it does put the story in motion. Woo hoo!
If you get the opportunity, let me know what you think? Thanks! :-)
-Celyia
Chapter 2
I love my bed.
I probably spent way too much money on it. Okay, fine. I did spend way too much money on it, but it was so worth it. I mean, I was the one who had to live there so I'm the one who should be able to choose what my home looked like, right?
As true as that is, though, my apartment still horrified my Mama. I mean, there was nothing really bad about it. It was just a little ... well, on the undecorated side. Mama said (repeatedly) that its Spartan but I'd have to disagree. I have a couple of things in there- all the important stuff, anyway. Bed. Table. Dishes. Well, a dish, anyway.
Anything else would just be clutter. And man, I hate clutter.
So what that I've been living out of a suitcase for the last few years? Dressers and drawers just added to the mess. This way, at least, I knew exactly where everything was (what's so bad about having a couple of neat piles of clothes sitting on top of my suitcase? Mama almost seems to think that it's a criminal transgression!) and could get dressed. Fast. Gave me a lot more time to sleep that way.
Speaking of sleep ...
I could see my water bottle filled with the daisies from where I lay. Boring things, aren't they? So simple with their white petals and yellow hearts that sat on top of slender, green stems. Yet, I couldn't stop looking at them.
I don't think anyone has ever given me flowers before.
Naaah. My mama doesn't count.
Other than that, though, I've never had a boyfriend. I didn't really talk to anyone, well, not since Amano married Yukari and they moved to Germany. That was undoubtedly for the best, you know? I missed them, sure, but now I had my own life.
And a brand new start.
No one knew me here. No one at all. No one knew that I once disappeared for several months. No one knew that I used to be considered the local psychic. And no one cared.
There's a certain safety in anonymity. It keeps you from having to explain things you'd rather just forget.
And now that Amano and Yukari were gone, I could forget.
Too bad it hadn't worked out that way.
Lately, for the last couple of weeks, every time I would close my eyes, I'd see him. I'd try to sleep and I'd hear him calling my name, begging me to return and asking why I hadn't.
It broke my heart.
And the guy didn't even exist!
Van Fanel was nothing more than a figment of a lonely and slightly psychotic girl's imagination.
End of story.
So why the hell did he have the power to make me cry?
God, it was cold in there. I needed more blankets, really.
I hadn't even realized that I had fallen asleep. The next thing I knew, I was looking at the ceiling in my darkened room. The sun had to have gone down hours ago but I hadn't yet bothered setting the time on my clock so I had not a clue what time it was.
I flipped my pillow over (there's nothing more annoying than sleeping with your face trapped on the tearstains) and watched the way that the green light from the clock flickered in the darkness. I could see the reflection even on my ceiling.
On.
Off.
On.
Off.
I really got to set that damn clock sometime. It had been flickering "12:00" since I bought it about six months before.
But it just didn't seem important enough to bother moving for right then. So I lay there, watching the impromptu lightshow on the rust-stained ceiling.
I wished he existed.
Yet, I was glad he didn't. I wasn't sure what I'd do if my time was no longer my own. I like my alone time. Really. If there was one thing about watching other people I had noticed, it would be that. Once a man entered your life, everything changed. No longer could you come and go as you pleased, doing as you will. No. You were now accountable to someone.
I didn't want that. I didn't want that at all.
I hated crying.
But I hated being alone even more.
"You aren't alone, Hitomi," a gentle voice whispered, the masculine tone penetrating my thoughts like a sharp arrow.
"Folken?" I sat up, looking around the dim room carefully. Reflexively, my hand shot out to turn on the lamp that was no longer there. That's right. I hadn't bothered to replace it after I broke it last year.
"Dammit. Who's there?" I demanded, forcing my voice to sound strong and able. It couldn't have been Folken, I told myself as I concentrated on keeping my hands from shaking. I nearly succeeded, too.
"You've never been alone, Hitomi." As stupid as it sounds, I could almost hear the smile on his lips.
"Who are you?"
He stepped from the shadows, the eerie green light highlighting his pallid face.
"You know who I am, Hitomi," Folken smiled, his eyes full of a kind of peace that I had never seen anyone possess before. Never.
"You don't exist."
I scooted far back in my bed, until my back was pressed up against the wall. Maybe if I closed my eyes?
God help me. I don't want to be crazy. I really don't want to be insane.
"I suppose I don't," Folken chuckled, that innate sweetness that seemed to exude from him almost forcing me to open my eyes.
I guess a part of me had always liked Van's older brother.
"If, that is, you consider death the end to existence. As for me, though," Folken said as I felt him sit down on the bed next to me, "I don't think my existence mattered all that much until then."
"But Van loved you!" I shot out. Wait a minute. No holding conversations with figments of your imagination, Hitomi. Good way to end up wearing one of those oh-so-fashionable white coats with the really long sleeves.
Cool, thin fingers gently pried my hands away from my eyes.
"Hitomi, look at me. I only have a few minutes."
"No."
"I always knew beneath that sweet exterior hid a stubborn nature," he chuckled, still holding my hands in his. Hell, what am I doing?
I pulled my hands back, only to glare at the man.
It wasn't until then that I actually saw him. I mean, really saw him.
"Death is a pretty wondrous thing, as incredible in its own way as life," Folken explained, almost nervously.
Perhaps he said more. I'll never know. All I knew is that I had an angel standing before me, as beautiful as anything I had ever dreamed. All the sorrow had fled his eyes, defeating the ghosts that had haunted him for so long, until only kindness and love remained. Death had smoothed away the calluses and kissed away the scars until all that stood before me was Folken's soul, in all its glory. For one beautiful moment, my fears of impending insanity dissolved away until the only thing that mattered was the yesterday that I tried so hard to forget.
"Look," he smiled, boyish pleasure on his face as he showed me his fully human hand. "I have a second chance, Hitomi. I have the chance to right all the wrongs I caused while I was Folken. I have a chance to make the world a better place instead of letting my bitterness at my failures corrupt me. I have the chance to make things right. But I only have a small window of opportunity before this chance goes away forever, Hitomi."
He squeezed my hand gently, his human hand looking so strange clasping my own. When had he taken my hand again?
"Help me. Please?"
Did I nod? Perhaps I even said yes. I don't know, honestly. All I remember is the look of happiness on his face as he embraced me with all his strength. It would be a look I would treasure in my heart forever.
"What do I do?"
My hands were shaking again. Dammit.
His kissed my forehead, the touch soft and loving as he gently pushed me back against the bed.
"It's okay, Hitomi. Don't cry. No more tears. You'll never be alone again," Folken whispered, his voice soothing. Suddenly, he winced in pain as he stumbled against the bed.
"Folken?"
His colouring didn't look very good, at all. Undoubtedly, the green light from the clock didn't do much to help, but there was something wrong.
Something major.
"What's going on, Folken-san?"
He just shook his head sadly as he looked at me, his hand placed chastely over my heart as he nudged me back down on the bed.
"I don't have much time. They are trying to summon my soul. If they figure out what happened... "
Now just wait a minute!
"What in the hell are you talking about?" I demanded, only to watch his thin lips turn up in a small smile.
"I'm sorry, Hitomi. I didn't mean to drag you into this. I'm so sorry."
"You'll be a lot sorrier if you don't explain to me what's going on," I grumbled, only to regret my tone as the poor man stumbled again. No. He was in pain. It hurt him a lot more than he was trying to let on.
"Shhh. It will be done in a moment. A moment is all I need and that's more than they can spare. I'm sorry for all the trouble and pain this will cause you."
"Will you please stop apologizing and just explain?"
I hate it when people do that. It's like just tell me so I know what I'm dealing with already. I don't like surprises.
"No time. Lie down, Hitomi. I can't do this with you sitting up," he smiled weakly. It didn't take a genius to realize he was exerting himself to his max.
"I think you are the one who needs to lie down," I responded. He looked like he was going to drop at any moment. Cautiously, I touched his forearm, only to be startled by the cool feel.
"Stubborn, stubborn girl," he chuckled, leaning over me. "You won't leave it alone, will you? But that's okay. It's who you are and who, I hope, you'll remain." Folken smiled sadly, his hand cupping my cheek as he stared into my eyes. "I see why my brother loves you so much."
His lips felt soft but sweet as he pressed them against my own. A kiss. Folken was giving me a kiss?
But it wasn't sexual. It didn't promise sensuality. It didn't speak of crushes or lust or any of that insignificant stuff.
It sang of love. Pure, innocent love directed at me. Only at me.
I couldn't move. I lay there helplessly, watching as Folken stood above me with some strange emotion clouding his eyes.
"Hitomi. Thank you. I owe you everything."
With a flash of light, he disappeared. Every trace of the tall man vanished before my stunned eyes. Every trace but one.
Slowly, gracefully, a small white feather floated lazily upon the air. Bathing in the digital green light, it glided to my stomach, its touch as loving and heartbreaking as the kiss I had received from the man I had barely known. With a jolt, I screamed as the pain coursed through every nerve of my body.
But I could feel him still there, in a different form, as the feather slowly merged with my body, almost as if he were holding my head, whispering words of comfort. The pain forgotten, I placed a hand on my stomach, my heart feeling more at peace now than it ever had in my entire lifetime.
Note: Okay. It's different. I admit it. It's a weird story. I applaud you if you actually read the entire thing. Curiously enough, this is not a Folken/Hitomi story. Everything here was supposed to be pretty innocent. Anyway, if you have the time, please let me know what you think! Though this is intended to be a Van/Hitomi story, in truth, that's pretty much up to you guys. I'll have fun writing this either way. Thanks so much!
Rating: PG
Note:At first, I was going to wait to upload this chapter, but I got all impatient. :-) The first chapter, as necessary as it is, strikes me as being pretty uninteresting. This one isn't great, but it does put the story in motion. Woo hoo!
If you get the opportunity, let me know what you think? Thanks! :-)
-Celyia
Chapter 2
I love my bed.
I probably spent way too much money on it. Okay, fine. I did spend way too much money on it, but it was so worth it. I mean, I was the one who had to live there so I'm the one who should be able to choose what my home looked like, right?
As true as that is, though, my apartment still horrified my Mama. I mean, there was nothing really bad about it. It was just a little ... well, on the undecorated side. Mama said (repeatedly) that its Spartan but I'd have to disagree. I have a couple of things in there- all the important stuff, anyway. Bed. Table. Dishes. Well, a dish, anyway.
Anything else would just be clutter. And man, I hate clutter.
So what that I've been living out of a suitcase for the last few years? Dressers and drawers just added to the mess. This way, at least, I knew exactly where everything was (what's so bad about having a couple of neat piles of clothes sitting on top of my suitcase? Mama almost seems to think that it's a criminal transgression!) and could get dressed. Fast. Gave me a lot more time to sleep that way.
Speaking of sleep ...
I could see my water bottle filled with the daisies from where I lay. Boring things, aren't they? So simple with their white petals and yellow hearts that sat on top of slender, green stems. Yet, I couldn't stop looking at them.
I don't think anyone has ever given me flowers before.
Naaah. My mama doesn't count.
Other than that, though, I've never had a boyfriend. I didn't really talk to anyone, well, not since Amano married Yukari and they moved to Germany. That was undoubtedly for the best, you know? I missed them, sure, but now I had my own life.
And a brand new start.
No one knew me here. No one at all. No one knew that I once disappeared for several months. No one knew that I used to be considered the local psychic. And no one cared.
There's a certain safety in anonymity. It keeps you from having to explain things you'd rather just forget.
And now that Amano and Yukari were gone, I could forget.
Too bad it hadn't worked out that way.
Lately, for the last couple of weeks, every time I would close my eyes, I'd see him. I'd try to sleep and I'd hear him calling my name, begging me to return and asking why I hadn't.
It broke my heart.
And the guy didn't even exist!
Van Fanel was nothing more than a figment of a lonely and slightly psychotic girl's imagination.
End of story.
So why the hell did he have the power to make me cry?
God, it was cold in there. I needed more blankets, really.
I hadn't even realized that I had fallen asleep. The next thing I knew, I was looking at the ceiling in my darkened room. The sun had to have gone down hours ago but I hadn't yet bothered setting the time on my clock so I had not a clue what time it was.
I flipped my pillow over (there's nothing more annoying than sleeping with your face trapped on the tearstains) and watched the way that the green light from the clock flickered in the darkness. I could see the reflection even on my ceiling.
On.
Off.
On.
Off.
I really got to set that damn clock sometime. It had been flickering "12:00" since I bought it about six months before.
But it just didn't seem important enough to bother moving for right then. So I lay there, watching the impromptu lightshow on the rust-stained ceiling.
I wished he existed.
Yet, I was glad he didn't. I wasn't sure what I'd do if my time was no longer my own. I like my alone time. Really. If there was one thing about watching other people I had noticed, it would be that. Once a man entered your life, everything changed. No longer could you come and go as you pleased, doing as you will. No. You were now accountable to someone.
I didn't want that. I didn't want that at all.
I hated crying.
But I hated being alone even more.
"You aren't alone, Hitomi," a gentle voice whispered, the masculine tone penetrating my thoughts like a sharp arrow.
"Folken?" I sat up, looking around the dim room carefully. Reflexively, my hand shot out to turn on the lamp that was no longer there. That's right. I hadn't bothered to replace it after I broke it last year.
"Dammit. Who's there?" I demanded, forcing my voice to sound strong and able. It couldn't have been Folken, I told myself as I concentrated on keeping my hands from shaking. I nearly succeeded, too.
"You've never been alone, Hitomi." As stupid as it sounds, I could almost hear the smile on his lips.
"Who are you?"
He stepped from the shadows, the eerie green light highlighting his pallid face.
"You know who I am, Hitomi," Folken smiled, his eyes full of a kind of peace that I had never seen anyone possess before. Never.
"You don't exist."
I scooted far back in my bed, until my back was pressed up against the wall. Maybe if I closed my eyes?
God help me. I don't want to be crazy. I really don't want to be insane.
"I suppose I don't," Folken chuckled, that innate sweetness that seemed to exude from him almost forcing me to open my eyes.
I guess a part of me had always liked Van's older brother.
"If, that is, you consider death the end to existence. As for me, though," Folken said as I felt him sit down on the bed next to me, "I don't think my existence mattered all that much until then."
"But Van loved you!" I shot out. Wait a minute. No holding conversations with figments of your imagination, Hitomi. Good way to end up wearing one of those oh-so-fashionable white coats with the really long sleeves.
Cool, thin fingers gently pried my hands away from my eyes.
"Hitomi, look at me. I only have a few minutes."
"No."
"I always knew beneath that sweet exterior hid a stubborn nature," he chuckled, still holding my hands in his. Hell, what am I doing?
I pulled my hands back, only to glare at the man.
It wasn't until then that I actually saw him. I mean, really saw him.
"Death is a pretty wondrous thing, as incredible in its own way as life," Folken explained, almost nervously.
Perhaps he said more. I'll never know. All I knew is that I had an angel standing before me, as beautiful as anything I had ever dreamed. All the sorrow had fled his eyes, defeating the ghosts that had haunted him for so long, until only kindness and love remained. Death had smoothed away the calluses and kissed away the scars until all that stood before me was Folken's soul, in all its glory. For one beautiful moment, my fears of impending insanity dissolved away until the only thing that mattered was the yesterday that I tried so hard to forget.
"Look," he smiled, boyish pleasure on his face as he showed me his fully human hand. "I have a second chance, Hitomi. I have the chance to right all the wrongs I caused while I was Folken. I have a chance to make the world a better place instead of letting my bitterness at my failures corrupt me. I have the chance to make things right. But I only have a small window of opportunity before this chance goes away forever, Hitomi."
He squeezed my hand gently, his human hand looking so strange clasping my own. When had he taken my hand again?
"Help me. Please?"
Did I nod? Perhaps I even said yes. I don't know, honestly. All I remember is the look of happiness on his face as he embraced me with all his strength. It would be a look I would treasure in my heart forever.
"What do I do?"
My hands were shaking again. Dammit.
His kissed my forehead, the touch soft and loving as he gently pushed me back against the bed.
"It's okay, Hitomi. Don't cry. No more tears. You'll never be alone again," Folken whispered, his voice soothing. Suddenly, he winced in pain as he stumbled against the bed.
"Folken?"
His colouring didn't look very good, at all. Undoubtedly, the green light from the clock didn't do much to help, but there was something wrong.
Something major.
"What's going on, Folken-san?"
He just shook his head sadly as he looked at me, his hand placed chastely over my heart as he nudged me back down on the bed.
"I don't have much time. They are trying to summon my soul. If they figure out what happened... "
Now just wait a minute!
"What in the hell are you talking about?" I demanded, only to watch his thin lips turn up in a small smile.
"I'm sorry, Hitomi. I didn't mean to drag you into this. I'm so sorry."
"You'll be a lot sorrier if you don't explain to me what's going on," I grumbled, only to regret my tone as the poor man stumbled again. No. He was in pain. It hurt him a lot more than he was trying to let on.
"Shhh. It will be done in a moment. A moment is all I need and that's more than they can spare. I'm sorry for all the trouble and pain this will cause you."
"Will you please stop apologizing and just explain?"
I hate it when people do that. It's like just tell me so I know what I'm dealing with already. I don't like surprises.
"No time. Lie down, Hitomi. I can't do this with you sitting up," he smiled weakly. It didn't take a genius to realize he was exerting himself to his max.
"I think you are the one who needs to lie down," I responded. He looked like he was going to drop at any moment. Cautiously, I touched his forearm, only to be startled by the cool feel.
"Stubborn, stubborn girl," he chuckled, leaning over me. "You won't leave it alone, will you? But that's okay. It's who you are and who, I hope, you'll remain." Folken smiled sadly, his hand cupping my cheek as he stared into my eyes. "I see why my brother loves you so much."
His lips felt soft but sweet as he pressed them against my own. A kiss. Folken was giving me a kiss?
But it wasn't sexual. It didn't promise sensuality. It didn't speak of crushes or lust or any of that insignificant stuff.
It sang of love. Pure, innocent love directed at me. Only at me.
I couldn't move. I lay there helplessly, watching as Folken stood above me with some strange emotion clouding his eyes.
"Hitomi. Thank you. I owe you everything."
With a flash of light, he disappeared. Every trace of the tall man vanished before my stunned eyes. Every trace but one.
Slowly, gracefully, a small white feather floated lazily upon the air. Bathing in the digital green light, it glided to my stomach, its touch as loving and heartbreaking as the kiss I had received from the man I had barely known. With a jolt, I screamed as the pain coursed through every nerve of my body.
But I could feel him still there, in a different form, as the feather slowly merged with my body, almost as if he were holding my head, whispering words of comfort. The pain forgotten, I placed a hand on my stomach, my heart feeling more at peace now than it ever had in my entire lifetime.
Note: Okay. It's different. I admit it. It's a weird story. I applaud you if you actually read the entire thing. Curiously enough, this is not a Folken/Hitomi story. Everything here was supposed to be pretty innocent. Anyway, if you have the time, please let me know what you think! Though this is intended to be a Van/Hitomi story, in truth, that's pretty much up to you guys. I'll have fun writing this either way. Thanks so much!