Fading Memories
Monica's eyes narrowed. She gave Rachel a look that was hard to read. Rachel half waved.
"What are you doing here?" She asked folding her arms. Rachel felt her heart skip a beat.
"I'm here to see you guys." She said unsurely. Monica rolled her eyes in a way to say she didn't believe her.
"All of a sudden, four years after abandoning us, you decided to make a surprise visit at 4:00 am?" She asked sarcastically. Rachel looked at her shoes.
"I needed to come back, I need-"
"Closure?" Monica asked hopefully. Rachel looked around and noticed that Chandler had disappeared. She looked down.
"Yes. You were right Mon, you were right all along. I am haunted. I see him in every person I see, I hear him in every voice. There is no escaping it. I need to see him" She said sadly. Monica and Phoebe's eyes widened.
"N-n-no you don't!" They said in unison. Rachel looked at them awkwardly.
"Yes, yes I do."
"He's, he's happy now Rach. He hasn't been happy for four years. And now Mona has come into his life and I think it has been the first time I have seen him smile since you left. You know what will happen if he sees you again. He won't be happy anymore, and I don't think any of us can see him miserable like that again. You should have seen him Rachel, you leaving hurt him. Mona has been the only thing he has smiled about." Phoebe finished. Rachel felt her eyes fill up.
"Well, I guess I should be happy for him." She looked at Monica who was still giving her a cold, yet sorrowful look.
"What are you really doing here? Four effin' years and not a single phone call to tell us you were even alive, and now you just show up? I hope you don't expect anything. Did you just think we were just going to welcome you back into our lives? That's just not how it works." She said harshly. She still had so much anger towards Rachel. Rachel didn't answer. "Go home Rach, just go home." She started to turn, and anger filed Rachel's soul.
"What if this is my home? Do you expect me to just walk away?" Rachel asked. Monica looked at her sadly.
"Why not? You did it so well in the past." She looked at Phoebe. "I'll see you tomorrow Pheebs." She gave Rachel one more heartbreaking look, then exited. Rachel stared at the door, mouth agape.
"Well, I guess I'll just go-" Rachel began. Phoebe shook her head, laughing a bit.
"Rachel, Monica still has a lot of anger towards you. You leaving hurt us all. You know how Monica is tough, she'll come around. Now, lets get you a bed-"
"But Monica said-"
"Since when have I ever listened to anything Monica said?" Phoebe asked joking. "Welcome back." Phoebe led her into Sandi's room. Sandi was sleeping in Joey and Phoebe's room that night, so Rachel made herself comfortable. For the first time in weeks, she slept.
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Rachel awoke to a pair of huge green eyes staring at her. She looked at the little girl whom she guessed was Sandi. "Hi." She said simply. The little girl tilted her head and looked at Rachel in pure awe.
"MOM! IT'S ALIVE!" She screamed. Rachel' sat up quickly, and the little girl took her hand and led her to the living room. Rachel was still wiping the sleep from her eyes when an unidentified object crashed into her knocking the wind out of her.
"Joey?" She coughed. Joey pulled away from the giant bear hug.
"It's so good to see you Rachel!" He shouted. Rachel smiled. She knew she could count on Joey to make her feel welcome. She kissed his cheek and walked towards the kitchen where Phoebe was pouring a bowl of cereal for Sandi.
"Are you my aunt Rachel?" The little girl asked.
"Yea, I guess I am." Rachel smiled. She said good morning to everyone and caught up on life, but desperately needed a shower, so she went and took one.
She swore she could have stayed in there forever. It was her first shower in days, well, her first hot one. She loved the feeling of the gentle circuit of water bouncing off of her soft skin. Her hair had gotten longer, and a little darker. She looked at her ankle and saw the tattoo she had gotten of a purple and pink fairy in Mexico, and her blue belly button ring she had gotten in New Orleans, where she had been transferred. She missed New Orleans. It was wonderful there. It was warm, and fun. She loved the colors and the Marti Gras festivity her work attended. But New York was where she had left her heart.
She got out of the shower and blow-dried her hair. She walked into her 'room' and dug through her bag. She didn't want to find it, but at the bottom of her bag was a picture frame she would set on the nightstand every night at every hotel's she stayed at. It was a picture, dated February 4th, four years prior to now. She looked at it. It was the night Ross had a big work party, the night he almost drank the chicken fat for her. The picture was at the party; it was she and Ross sitting next to each other at the table. She focused on her and his hands. She remembered how he used to hold her hand. He would hold it ever so lightly on a fear that he might have hurt her. She knew he always thought of stuff like that when they had been dating. He would always try his hardest not to hurt her. She closed her eyes and set it back in the bottom of the bag before she got dressed.
She was taken by surprise when she stepped into the living room and saw Chandler. She stared at him awkwardly.
"Hey"
"Hey" she said unsurely. He smiled and bobbed his head as he motioned for a hug.
"Come 'ere!" He said childishly. She smiled and walked into his arms. "Look, Mon will kill me if she finds out I came here. But I had to see ya."
"Thank you."
"Look, I know Monica's still sour, but you have to understand, she was hurt so badly when you just up and left. You should have seen her the past few years. She would always check her voice mail, she would jump every time the phone rang, she missed you." He said sadly. Rachel looked down.
"I know."
"Okay, so take care, I will see you soon, and remember, this meeting never happened!" He joked s he left. Rachel walked into the kitchen and set her head onto the table. She was surprised to see the front door open and a little boy who looked like Chandler entered. She looked at him, and then Monica ran in after him.
"Josh, no!" She yelled. She looked at Rachel; a little surprised to see she was still here. She looked down. "Rach-" she began.
"Monica, I am so so sorry, okay? I never should have left but I did because seeing Ross like that every day would have killed me, and I knew I would have given into him. I was scared; I didn't want to forgive him. And now I realize I CAN forgive him, but I can't forget him." She said hopelessly. Monica cradled her pregnant baby. Rachel looked at her. "I already lost him, I don't want to lose my best friend too." Monica eyes softened.
"You could never lose me Rach. I just couldn't believe you actually left. I was heart broken. You missed my wedding. You missed the birth of my very first child. I would have wanted you to be first in line for all of that stuff, but you were gone. I missed you too." Both walked close to one another and embraced. Rachel had gotten her friend back.
"But Monica, remember-" she began. Monica smiled sincerely.
"Let's let all of those memories fade."
FADE
I try to breathe
Memories over taking me
I try to face them
But the thought is too much to conceive
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness that my life became cause
All I needed was someone to talk to
But you were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I should let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made.
So where were you?
When all this I was going through?
You never took the time to ask me just what you could do
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness that my life became cause
All I needed was someone to talk to
But you were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I should let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made.
.....fade
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Rachel sat at the counter, still surprised that Phoebe, Joey and Sandi hadn't gotten home yet. She thumbed through an old magazine. The phone rang. With out thinking, she picked it up.
"Hello?" She said deeply.
"Pheebs? Is that you?" the voice on the other end said slowly. It was Ross. Rachel went white.
"Mhm." She said muffled. She missed his voice. She didn't really talk, she just listened.
"...and so, what do you think?" he finished.
"I love it." She said normally. The phone went silent. She didn't mean to sound like herself; it just came out that way. She bit her lip and waited for his response. It was silent for another moment. She heard him breathing nervously. He finally spoke, but almost in a whisper.
"Rachel?"
XOXOElizabethXOXO
Well? Did you like this chapter? I don't know the real reason why Rachel came back. I didn't want to cheapen or belittle the story line, so, I guess the reason she is back is because she couldn't get over Ross, and she needs closure, okay? And, if anyone knows how to download in bold and italic, will you let me know? Thank you! More will be posted within the weekend. Bye! FRIENDS ARE BACK! HOORAY!
Monica's eyes narrowed. She gave Rachel a look that was hard to read. Rachel half waved.
"What are you doing here?" She asked folding her arms. Rachel felt her heart skip a beat.
"I'm here to see you guys." She said unsurely. Monica rolled her eyes in a way to say she didn't believe her.
"All of a sudden, four years after abandoning us, you decided to make a surprise visit at 4:00 am?" She asked sarcastically. Rachel looked at her shoes.
"I needed to come back, I need-"
"Closure?" Monica asked hopefully. Rachel looked around and noticed that Chandler had disappeared. She looked down.
"Yes. You were right Mon, you were right all along. I am haunted. I see him in every person I see, I hear him in every voice. There is no escaping it. I need to see him" She said sadly. Monica and Phoebe's eyes widened.
"N-n-no you don't!" They said in unison. Rachel looked at them awkwardly.
"Yes, yes I do."
"He's, he's happy now Rach. He hasn't been happy for four years. And now Mona has come into his life and I think it has been the first time I have seen him smile since you left. You know what will happen if he sees you again. He won't be happy anymore, and I don't think any of us can see him miserable like that again. You should have seen him Rachel, you leaving hurt him. Mona has been the only thing he has smiled about." Phoebe finished. Rachel felt her eyes fill up.
"Well, I guess I should be happy for him." She looked at Monica who was still giving her a cold, yet sorrowful look.
"What are you really doing here? Four effin' years and not a single phone call to tell us you were even alive, and now you just show up? I hope you don't expect anything. Did you just think we were just going to welcome you back into our lives? That's just not how it works." She said harshly. She still had so much anger towards Rachel. Rachel didn't answer. "Go home Rach, just go home." She started to turn, and anger filed Rachel's soul.
"What if this is my home? Do you expect me to just walk away?" Rachel asked. Monica looked at her sadly.
"Why not? You did it so well in the past." She looked at Phoebe. "I'll see you tomorrow Pheebs." She gave Rachel one more heartbreaking look, then exited. Rachel stared at the door, mouth agape.
"Well, I guess I'll just go-" Rachel began. Phoebe shook her head, laughing a bit.
"Rachel, Monica still has a lot of anger towards you. You leaving hurt us all. You know how Monica is tough, she'll come around. Now, lets get you a bed-"
"But Monica said-"
"Since when have I ever listened to anything Monica said?" Phoebe asked joking. "Welcome back." Phoebe led her into Sandi's room. Sandi was sleeping in Joey and Phoebe's room that night, so Rachel made herself comfortable. For the first time in weeks, she slept.
00000000000000000000000000000000
Rachel awoke to a pair of huge green eyes staring at her. She looked at the little girl whom she guessed was Sandi. "Hi." She said simply. The little girl tilted her head and looked at Rachel in pure awe.
"MOM! IT'S ALIVE!" She screamed. Rachel' sat up quickly, and the little girl took her hand and led her to the living room. Rachel was still wiping the sleep from her eyes when an unidentified object crashed into her knocking the wind out of her.
"Joey?" She coughed. Joey pulled away from the giant bear hug.
"It's so good to see you Rachel!" He shouted. Rachel smiled. She knew she could count on Joey to make her feel welcome. She kissed his cheek and walked towards the kitchen where Phoebe was pouring a bowl of cereal for Sandi.
"Are you my aunt Rachel?" The little girl asked.
"Yea, I guess I am." Rachel smiled. She said good morning to everyone and caught up on life, but desperately needed a shower, so she went and took one.
She swore she could have stayed in there forever. It was her first shower in days, well, her first hot one. She loved the feeling of the gentle circuit of water bouncing off of her soft skin. Her hair had gotten longer, and a little darker. She looked at her ankle and saw the tattoo she had gotten of a purple and pink fairy in Mexico, and her blue belly button ring she had gotten in New Orleans, where she had been transferred. She missed New Orleans. It was wonderful there. It was warm, and fun. She loved the colors and the Marti Gras festivity her work attended. But New York was where she had left her heart.
She got out of the shower and blow-dried her hair. She walked into her 'room' and dug through her bag. She didn't want to find it, but at the bottom of her bag was a picture frame she would set on the nightstand every night at every hotel's she stayed at. It was a picture, dated February 4th, four years prior to now. She looked at it. It was the night Ross had a big work party, the night he almost drank the chicken fat for her. The picture was at the party; it was she and Ross sitting next to each other at the table. She focused on her and his hands. She remembered how he used to hold her hand. He would hold it ever so lightly on a fear that he might have hurt her. She knew he always thought of stuff like that when they had been dating. He would always try his hardest not to hurt her. She closed her eyes and set it back in the bottom of the bag before she got dressed.
She was taken by surprise when she stepped into the living room and saw Chandler. She stared at him awkwardly.
"Hey"
"Hey" she said unsurely. He smiled and bobbed his head as he motioned for a hug.
"Come 'ere!" He said childishly. She smiled and walked into his arms. "Look, Mon will kill me if she finds out I came here. But I had to see ya."
"Thank you."
"Look, I know Monica's still sour, but you have to understand, she was hurt so badly when you just up and left. You should have seen her the past few years. She would always check her voice mail, she would jump every time the phone rang, she missed you." He said sadly. Rachel looked down.
"I know."
"Okay, so take care, I will see you soon, and remember, this meeting never happened!" He joked s he left. Rachel walked into the kitchen and set her head onto the table. She was surprised to see the front door open and a little boy who looked like Chandler entered. She looked at him, and then Monica ran in after him.
"Josh, no!" She yelled. She looked at Rachel; a little surprised to see she was still here. She looked down. "Rach-" she began.
"Monica, I am so so sorry, okay? I never should have left but I did because seeing Ross like that every day would have killed me, and I knew I would have given into him. I was scared; I didn't want to forgive him. And now I realize I CAN forgive him, but I can't forget him." She said hopelessly. Monica cradled her pregnant baby. Rachel looked at her. "I already lost him, I don't want to lose my best friend too." Monica eyes softened.
"You could never lose me Rach. I just couldn't believe you actually left. I was heart broken. You missed my wedding. You missed the birth of my very first child. I would have wanted you to be first in line for all of that stuff, but you were gone. I missed you too." Both walked close to one another and embraced. Rachel had gotten her friend back.
"But Monica, remember-" she began. Monica smiled sincerely.
"Let's let all of those memories fade."
FADE
I try to breathe
Memories over taking me
I try to face them
But the thought is too much to conceive
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness that my life became cause
All I needed was someone to talk to
But you were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I should let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made.
So where were you?
When all this I was going through?
You never took the time to ask me just what you could do
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness that my life became cause
All I needed was someone to talk to
But you were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I should let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching is the bed that I have made.
.....fade
0000000000000000000000000000000000
Rachel sat at the counter, still surprised that Phoebe, Joey and Sandi hadn't gotten home yet. She thumbed through an old magazine. The phone rang. With out thinking, she picked it up.
"Hello?" She said deeply.
"Pheebs? Is that you?" the voice on the other end said slowly. It was Ross. Rachel went white.
"Mhm." She said muffled. She missed his voice. She didn't really talk, she just listened.
"...and so, what do you think?" he finished.
"I love it." She said normally. The phone went silent. She didn't mean to sound like herself; it just came out that way. She bit her lip and waited for his response. It was silent for another moment. She heard him breathing nervously. He finally spoke, but almost in a whisper.
"Rachel?"
XOXOElizabethXOXO
Well? Did you like this chapter? I don't know the real reason why Rachel came back. I didn't want to cheapen or belittle the story line, so, I guess the reason she is back is because she couldn't get over Ross, and she needs closure, okay? And, if anyone knows how to download in bold and italic, will you let me know? Thank you! More will be posted within the weekend. Bye! FRIENDS ARE BACK! HOORAY!