A/N: Featuring the scene where God/Sauron informs the wraiths of their quest. If you love Monty Python, give a shout!

Brett introduced Danny to all the other Ringwraiths. There was Matt the Second; Matthew (his brother) the Third; Lori the Fourth; Daniel the Fifth; Julie the Sixth, Tim the Seventh; and Katy the Eighth.
"Very good to finally meet the last of us all!" Julie said, shaking Danny's hand.
"Yes, you don't know how long we've been searching," said Daniel. "It didn't take nearly so long to find me, I can say that."
"Brett thought you might be here," Tim the Seventh grumbled, "so he made us skip that nice Inn with good food. Thanks a heap."
Brett gathered the wraiths around in a circle, and motioned for Danny to take his place amung them.
"Wraiths," he said. "We are all together at last."
"Hey wait a minute..." Lori piped up. Brett frowned down at her. "How are you sure that's all of us?" she asked.
"Hey, she's right!" Katy said. "How do we know there are only nine of us?"
"Because... because we just do," Brett waved off their comments.
"But you can't just know anything. Not unless it's divine knowledge. Is it divine knowledge?" Matt asked.
"No it's not divine knowledge!" cried Brett. "I just know, that's all!"
By now the wraiths were muttering amungst themselves.
"There could be a tenth..." one muttered.
"Just shut up!" Brett yelled.
"Hey, how do we even know we're called wraiths? Ringwraiths at that?" Tim asked innocently.
"SHUT UP! Shut up shut up shut UP!" Brett yelled. "It's divine knowledge, OK???"
At this, all the wraiths stopped their arguing and looked up at Brett in a new light.
"Sure, he says it's divine knowledge," Danny heard Lori mutter under her breath. "But I bet he just knows."
"Right!" Brett continued. "What we're going to do now that we have all our members is travel to Mordor and ask Sauron's spirit to rid us of these dreadful hiccups. Now I'd like to remind you all that Sauron is one of the most powerful forces in Middle Earth, so please mind yourselves around him. Besides, I hear he's been feeling a bit grumpy lately."
"How do you know that?" Daniel asked, and Brett glared at him.
"Come along, follow me," Brett said and clopped East.
They travelled for days, but their valiant seeds [steeds? geddit?] never grew tired or asked to slow the pace. At long last they reached Mordor.
It was early dawn and Danny lay on the ground with his newfound friends. They had just settled down for the day on the slopes of the mountains surrounding the dark land, and the sunlight was already making him sleepy. Although he wasn't too sure of this group's quest, he was at least glad to be with others of his own kind.
"Brett!" he heard a harsh whisper. He sat up and looked at the eight surrounding him, all of which were sleeping.
"Brett!" the voice called again, as though from the empty mountains themselves.
"BRETT!" said the voice, this time right next to Danny. He looked up to see a tall, ominous figure wearing full-metal armor.
"Brett, I think you should wake up now," Danny whispered and tugged at Brett's cloak. Brett blinked sleepily into the sun, then saw who was standing before him.
"Brett, leader of wraiths! It is I, Sauron!" The tall armored man said. Brett's eyes widened and he thrust himself at the ground, bowing so low his nose touched the dirt.
"Oh, don't grovel!" Sauron said. He removed his horned helmet to reveal a man's head with curly brown hair. "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling."
"Sorry!" Brett said, nose still touching the ground. By now, more of the wraiths were awake.
"And don't apologize!" Sauron bellowed. "Every time I try to talk to someone it's 'sorry this' and 'forgive me that' and 'I'm not worthy'." As he spoke, he tried to look Brett in the face, but Brett would always turn away. "What are you doing now!?"
"I'm averting my eyes, oh Lord and Master."
"Well, don't. It's like those miserable poems; 'in the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie.' So depressing. Now knock it off!
"Yes, Lord," Brett said, still not looking at Sauron.
"Right! Now, Brett, leader and gatherer of Ringwraiths - you and your fellow undead are to make an example in these cheerful times."
"Good idea, oh Lord Sauron!" Matt said.
"Of COURSE it's a good idea you lugnut!" Sauron clenched his fist. Danny winced, fearing Matt would be punched in the face. But instead a gold band materialized on Sauron's finger. "Behold!" The wraiths crept forward for a better view. "Wraiths, this is the One Ring. Look well, wraiths, for it is your job to find this Ring. That is your purpose in life: the Quest for the One Ring."
"Yes, of course good Lord Sauron," Brett said, 'averting his eyes' once more. "But... we have a small request of you."
Sauron sighed. "And what is that?"
"We... we ask that..." Brett began to tremble, and could not get out his question under Sauron's gaze.
Danny stepped forward. "We ask that you help us be rid of these (screech!) hiccups!"
"Really?" Sauron quirked an eyebrow. "If you complete this quest, then we shall see."
With that, Sauron floated into the sky, and his spirit screamed back in the general direction of the Dark Tower. The wraiths stood on the top of the mountain, staring at one another.
From his sleeping spot at the back of the speechless wraiths, Tim yawned.
"Hey guys, why are you all up? What'd I miss?"