A/N: For once I have nothing to say. Oh shoot, I just said something!

When Danny arrived at Bag End he found it to be empty and deserted.
"Oh, Mister Baggins?" one of the hobbits shouted, as was Danny keeping his distance. "Ye won't find him here no more. He's moved to Buckland."
The hobbit motioned at the path behind him, then went back to his work. Danny stood and waited for him to move out of the way. When he didn't, Danny held his breath, gritted his teeth, and rode forward. As he approached the hobbit he could feel the pungeunt aura sting at his eyes, which he squeezed shut. He heard a mangled scream pass under him. Once he had ridden far enough away he turned to see the hobbit lying there, trampled.
"Well!" the creature stood up. "That wasn't very nice, was it?"
"Dreadfully sorry," Danny muttered and rode on. He had wasted the whole evening riding to Bag End, and might not reach Buckland by dayfall. After many hours of riding, he decided to let his seed rest for a bit. He walked her off the road to a ridge overlooking the Shire. Just then he let out a rather loud hiccup. It echoed over the hills, and all was silent a moment. Then he heard another screech not far to the east. From the sound of it, Brett was already at Buckland.
Danny turned his mount toward the road. Or the direction he thought the road was... for some reason it was not to be found. He turned back to the ridge, got his bearings, and tried again. No such luck. He was quite certain he was going right this time when-
"Ugh!" he cried, as a terrible smell reached his nostrils.
CRASH! Danny turned to his right, and saw the four halflings who had tried to hide earlier that night.
"Excuse me," Danny said pleasantly, trying to stifle his disgust. He was about to ask if they could direct him to the road, but right then he let out another hiccup.
The hobbits looked up at him with wide eyes. Then the one they called Frodo screamed: "RUN!"
"Ex- excuse me!" Danny called after them. "SCREECH!" he hiccuped. "No, I just want to- SCREECH! Oh, dash it all..." he rode after the hobbits, a fit of screeches taking him.
"I (SCREECH!) just want (SCREECH!) to know (SCREECH!) where the rode is (SCREECH!)!" He slowed, realizing he had lost the creatures. He was completely disoriented now. He cursed himself for following them.
Then one of them looked out from behind a tree.
"Ah (SCREECH!) HA!"
The hobbits ran. Danny attempted to stop one of them, seperating him from the group.
"Look you bloody creature I just want directions to the road!" he tried to say through multiple hiccups.
"Frodo! Follow me!" one of them yelled from behind, and Frodo ran. Danny tore after him, weaving in and out of trees. At last they came to the end of the forest, and Danny could see a dock up ahead which held a ferry. So angered by the rude hobbits was he that he forgot the road was now under his feet, and pushed after them. Three of them reached the ferry and began untying it, pushing off. Frodo ran and leapt to the already floating ferry, and Danny halted his coconut mount to keep from splashing in behind him.
"SCREECH!" was all that they heard, though if Danny could have spoken the words he'd say would have been more venomous than that.
He stood there on the dock, watching the hobbits float away.
"Ha ha!" Merry yelled. "You cannot reach us! We blow raspberries at your creator!"
Danny could hear a shrill noise behind him, but barely. He was breathing and screeching uncontrollably.
"Danny!" he heard Brett's voice say. "Danny, it's alright."
"I just wanted to know where the bloody road was!" Danny seethed as Pippin made a rude gesture with his bare backside.
"Danny, you pursued the Ringbearer valiantly. We'll catch him up on the other side."
"Ringbearer??? I just wanted directions from the stupid prat!"
"Yes... of course." Brett glanced over his shoulder at the other seven. "But Danny, we must hurry. It's 20 miles to the next crossing."
Danny spat into the river as the laughing hobbits dissapeared into the fog.