Author's Notes: Special thanks go to Dasani Black who gave me the idea for the Marauders' problem. Without that I wouldn't have known where to start this chapter off.
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Do you have any problems that you can't talk about with anyone?
Don't worry, you're not alone.
Rita Skeeter gives you her advice!
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My owner doesn't treat me good enough!
I am Hedwig, the owl. Let me tell you my problem.
I always delivered the letters that were entrusted to me and that pretty fast.
All I want to have for that is a little respect and food and sleep. But always when I come back to my owner he shouts at me. And I don't get enough food. Hey, I mean, I fly hundreds of miles for him and he doesn't feed me! That's unfair!
He just has to go down to the kitchen when he is hungry, but he forgets that I'm an owl! Owls can't plunder the refrigerator when they're hungry (I don't like mice, so I don't hunt them)! Oh... wait... but owls can't write too, can they? But how did I write this letter then? Aaaarrrgh!!!
~ Hedwig (owl), age unknown
Rita says: Maybe you're a psychopathic human being? Tell me you're address - I have to write an article about you! Title: My life as an owl!
Now to your problem: Bring your owner a howler that tells him he should give you more food.
Then visit a psychiatrist because of the 'I-don't-like-mice-and-can-write-although-I-am-an-owl' thing. I have the address of a very good one right here that I'll send to you.
If your owner doesn't react, try to kill him or leave him and search for a new one.
Nobody believes me!
I'm the divination teacher at Hogwarts and my problem is that nobody believes in my predictions. (You have to know that I'm a real seer.) They are always true, so I don't understand why they don't listen to me.
Another thing is that many of my pupils have the power to become seers but not even one of them became one. I never taught them the wrong things.
Help me, I'm totally desperate. (I saw in the crystal ball that you will answer my letter. So, do it. Now. At once.)
~ Sybill Trelawney, 67
Rita says: Could you tell me when I will get my next pay rise? And why didn't you search for an answer in your crystal ball? But I shouldn't moan - I should be glad that someone is owling me!
So, nobody believes in your predictions? Next time tell the person who laughs at you, that he or she will die within 48 hours and murder him or her then. Bet everyone will believe you then?
I don't think you taught your students the wrong things, too, but maybe - MAYBE - your students don't have the gift? It was just an idea... a very stupid one, when I think of it now...
Well, that's what I say and don't forget about the pay rise!
We think our teachers are aliens!
It all started this Monday. We played some little tricks on the teachers and we got detention for it. Ok, that's not so unusual. BUT we only got six, when we usually get seven.
The only explanation we could think of is that all of our teachers are possessed by aliens! We believe that because normally they explode at every little joke.
And Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall are acting very strange when they're together, and think that nobody's seeing them. What shall we do?
~ Sirius Black, James Potter, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, 12
Rita says: After I've read your letter I'm completely convinced, that aliens do exist.
Here is a plan what I would do, if I were you:
1. Lock the teacher-aliens all up in a room.
2. Bring the other students out.
3. Inform the ministry.
4. Place a bomb in front of the door of the room, in which you locked up the teachers.
5. Run for your lives.
6. Wait what happens further.
You also could just inform the ministry and let them solve the problem but if you do it on your own you'll be much more famous. Just imagine: You saved the lives of thousand students!
Good luck! You'll need it.
~*~