James Cameron and Charles Eglee own Dark Angel. My use is in no way meant to challenge their copyrights. This piece is not intended for any profit on the part of the writer, nor is it meant to detract from the commercial viability of the aforementioned (or any other) copyright. Any similarity to any events or persons, either real or fictional, is unintended.
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Author's Note: At this point in the story, Alec's little side-mission in Three Hail Mary's has finished. (I'm betting no one noticed I finished that story, due to the fact that I changed the rating to R, and R-rated fics don't show up on the default page.) It's not necessary to read that to understand what's happening in this chapter, but as I said earlier, the events therein will be important later on.
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XII – Time To Move On"Where's Alec?" Max asked Mole curtly, not even bothering to exchange formalities. He was obviously thrown off-balance by her unexpected appearance, and he needed several moments to regain his composure before daring to speak to the woman he was increasingly thinking of as 'The Chosen One.' I have to say all of this before I lose my nerve, she told herself once again. She'd almost been floored by the shock of realizing the truth about her feelings for her fellow X5. After all she had ever said to him, and all he had said to her, this development was fairly unexpected. I guess it's sorta logical with the way things have been lately, she admitted, but who woulda thunk it?
"A-A-Alec is up in the t-tower… with Joshua," Mole finally stammered, disgusting Max with his inability to see her as she truly was – just a normal young woman. She actually found herself missing the hardheaded brute he'd been when she first met him. He might have been a pain in the ass then, but at least his behavior was understandable. There's just no excuse for seeing me as some kind of divine savior. She nodded to him in response and continued right by, not bothering to say a word to Mole or any of the other transgenics standing near him, each of them bowing his head reverently as she passed.
Her pace only quickened as she went deeper into the fortified center of the transgenic stronghold inside Terminal City. Okay, brace yourself, she thought, knowing she needed to keep herself completely under control. She wouldn't dare betray her feelings until she had an inkling of how he felt… whether he thought the same about her. But of course, he has to, she reasoned. Why the hell else would he have stayed here all this time? He could have left whenever he wanted…
"Max, hi," Alec said cheerfully as she walked out onto the tower's parapet, locking her eyes so thoroughly on Alec that she almost overlooked Joshua's presence.
"Hey, Max," she heard Joshua mutter from beside her. She turned to him, startled, and suddenly remembered that Mole had told her that Joshua was up there, too. Okay, Max… don't be too focused, she told herself.
"Hey, Big Fella," she said with a smile. "You mind giving me and Alec a few minutes?"
"Of course not," Joshua said, immediately turning to leave. Max noticed that he didn't seem at all offended, as he might have been not long before if she had so obviously left him out of the loop on something. But that was before I came back from the dead, she reminded herself. Even Joshua's sorta bought into that load of crap, though he seems to be trying not to…
"So what do you want?" Alec asked pleasantly once Joshua had gone. He looked… happy. That was the only word Max could think of to describe her fellow X5. The dark cloud that usually hung right behind his eyes had cleared, making him seem genuinely relieved… pleased… refreshed. Max could only wonder what he had been up to since the shoot-out at the paint warehouse; but she pushed her curiosity from her mind. There was something else she had to discuss first. There'll be plenty of time for small talk later.
"Please, just let me speak," Max said quickly, setting her face in what she knew was her most determined expression. Even before she'd become the transgenic messiah, this was the look that would get any of her people to do whatever she told them. She only hoped that it still had its same old effect on Alec.
"Fine, go ahead and speak," Alec said with a magnanimous wave of his hand as he leaned back against the wall and grinned, his delighted mood really serving to throw Max off-balance.
"I've been thinking a lot lately," Max began, almost cursing as she realized she'd already deviated from the little speech she had mentally prepared for this moment. Six words and I've already screwed this up, she fumed silently.
"It's a good thing that you've been thinking," Alec said sarcastically, adding a roguish wink for emphasis. Max wondered whether he knew how much that kind of cocky attitude pissed her off. "Given our present predicament, I sure as hell hope you've been thinking more than just about anyone else in the world."
"Not now, Alec," Max growled. "This is important, okay? It's not something that's easy for me."
"Fine," Alec shot back, raising his hands in mock surrender. His mood didn't seem to change in the least, though. He still seemed to be enjoying himself far too much for Max's taste. "I won't interrupt again."
"You'd better not," Max muttered. "Like I was saying, I've been thinking a lot lately." Damn, I screwed it up again!
"I think we've already covered this much," Alec said with a mirthful grin that made Max want to walk away rather than speak.
"Okay, that's it," Max said caustically. "I came here to talk to you, but if you say another word, I'm gonna knock your teeth out. Capisce?"
"Sorry," Alec replied, something in his expression making Max think that his previous remark had been completely involuntarily, that some part of his brain demanded that he make wisecracks whether they were appropriate or not.
"I've been thinking a lot about us," Max began again, noting once more that she had used the wrong words, but resolving this time at least to continue the thought to some kind of conclusion before either she or Alec could completely screw everything up. "And I think that, umm…" She suddenly found herself searching for the words, trying to figure out what to say. How do you tell someone that despite everything he's done to you, that he's somehow become the closest friend you've ever had? she asked herself. How do I convey how much trust I have in him? How do I let him know how much he's come to mean to me, as someone I know I can rely on when so much is expected of me? How does one apologize for the kinds of things that I've said and done to him?
"Uh, Max," Alec interrupted, the shroud coming down once more behind his eyes. The joyous glow vanished as his feelings were suddenly concealed behind the mask he always wore so well. All I can tell for sure is that he isn't quite so happy anymore.
"What?" Max asked, hoping that Alec would say something that would give her an opening to make the conversation easier.
"I think I know what you're getting at," he told her, "and believe me, I'm flattered, but it's not gonna happen."
"What?" Max asked, knowing she likely seemed completely dumbstruck, but not caring much at all.
"I know you're hurting about everything that's been going on with Logan," he explained, "and I know you're under a lot of pressure. I know how hard it is to be alone, especially at times like this. It would probably be easier for you to have someone – I know that – but it can't be me."
"What are you talking about?" Max asked nervously, some deep and muddled part of her brain screaming at her to do something, to say something, before she made a total ass out of herself. But what should I do? What should I say?
"I'm no one's rebound relationship," Alec said evenly, his voice brooking no argument on that issue. "Besides, Max, I just don't think about you like that. You're like a sister to me. And then there's the fact that I don't do relationships… not with anyone. I hope this doesn't cause a problem between us, but --"
"You jackass," Max interrupted, taking a step toward Alec and shoving him slightly, almost playfully. "You think I was coming on to you?"
"Well weren't you?" Alec asked, his eyes once more expressive, seeming to say, "You don't have to deny it, Max. I know you were coming on to me. Every woman comes on to me sooner or later. It's the misunderstood, brooding rebel thing that always reels them in."
"No, I wasn't coming on to you," Max replied, noting with satisfaction the surprised, almost astonished look on her sibling's face. "I was just trying to tell you that I think of you as the closest friend I have. The closest friend I've ever had, actually… though I have no idea how in hell it ever got that way. Like you were saying you think of me as a sister, well – you're like the brother I never really had. You understand me in ways no one else seems to. It's like we're kindred spirits." The last sentence made her recoil immediately, fearing he might still think she was coming on to him. "And that's not to say we're soul mates," she added. "It's totally different."
"Oh," Alec said simply, though Max could tell the wheels were turning behind his eyes.
"I just needed to tell you that," Max tried to explain. "I mean, with everything that's happened between us, with some of the terrible things I've said and done…"
"Like when you saved my life?" Alec asked. "Lots of times? Or when you kept me out of jail? Or when you were always there to listen, even when just the sound of my voice turned your stomach, or when my face reminded you of the sibling you were forced to kill?"
"Yeah, all that," Max muttered.
"Call me silly, but I've always thought of you as a friend," Alec confided. "No, forget that – that's not even a strong enough way of putting it. I've always thought of you as family. It's the one thing all of us at Manticore lacked, it's probably the one thing we all needed, too. Family. And as strange as it sounds, I know that even though deep down you might hate me, and that you probably wouldn't shed a tear if I disappeared tomorrow, I always knew you were my friend, the sister I never had." He paused for a moment, as if he was pondering his words, and then continued. "That really doesn't make much sense, does it?"
"Not when you say it all like that," Max admitted. "But thank you." She wanted to walk away; she wanted to maintain the walls that she had buttressed so strongly around her heart for so many years, but instead she stopped, deciding to talk to the man she had finally admitted meant so much to her. "I was just over at Logan's," she told him.
"And how is he?" Alec's expression was once again different than normal. His defenses were lowered again, and he seemed to be opening himself to his newfound friend more than he had ever opened up to anyone before.
"Logan's cured," Max said.
"Cured?" Alec asked. "What do you mean?"
"He got his hands on a vaccine for the virus that Manticore gave me, the virus that's been keeping us apart."
"No it hasn't," Alec said sadly, turning away from Max as he said the words.
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean," Alec responded with a heart-wrenching tinge of sympathy and commiseration in his voice. Max thought back on what she knew of Alec, and she realized that he understood all too well what it felt like to be in a star-crossed relationship. "You and Logan are two amazing people, but maybe it wasn't meant to be. He's been around the block a lot more than either of us have, Max. He knew what was up, and I guess he did what he knew he had to do."
"You knew he had a cure?" Max asked suspiciously.
"No," Alec said quickly. "It just doesn't surprise me that he had one and never told you. You have responsibilities now… and so does he. He's all business lately, Max. He's far more right now than just Logan Cale, the wonderfully compassionate and idealistic man you met not too long ago. He's in the middle of a crusade, he's fighting to save you and the rest of us. I can't imagine him opening up enough to deal with personal sentiment right now. Haven't you noticed?"
"Yeah, I have." The realization started to choke Max up. But what is it that really hurts? she asked herself, trying to leave behind the rage and pain that had controlled her thoughts when she was on her bike outside of Seattle. Now she tried to be far more analytical. Is it that Logan apparently decided not to be with you? Or is it that he seems to have already moved on? How much of your pain is ego, Max? She wasn't sure she could even answer that question.
"I know you must hurt right now," Alec said evenly, "and that with everything you're facing right now this isn't a good time for you to be alone in the world. Since it appears we're friends now, let me be the first to offer you a sympathetic ear if you need it."
Max looked into Alec's eyes as she fought back her tears. For months she'd been imagining the moment that she and Logan came to an end, and never had she thought that she would be looking into Alec's eyes when that realization of finality struck her. She took a step forward and held him closely, burrowing her face in his shoulder as her body shook with a half-sob. Alec stood silently, not saying a word, knowing that for the time being Max didn't need to talk. She only needed to hurt.
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"We need to talk," Syl said softly as she walked into Logan's room, waking him out of a sound sleep. He fought to open his eyes enough to look at his clock – 4:14 A.M.
"What?" he asked groggily, trying to process what Syl had said. He thought she had said that they needed to talk, but that made no sense. He had been asleep… this was obviously not the best time for a conversation.
"We need to talk," Syl repeated as she switched on the light. A burst of pain erupted in Logan's eyes as the light assaulted his vision, causing him to dive under his pillow for solace from the glare.
"Go away," he told Syl, though he was well aware that she probably was completely unable to hear him through the pillow that was muffling his voice.
"Logan, please," she said.
"You keep telling me to get sleep," he reminded her as he carefully moved the pillow away from over his mouth so that he could speak, while still keeping it firmly in place over his eyes. "I finally get some quality shuteye, and you come in and wake me up so we can talk. Where's the sense in this?"
"We need to talk about Max," Syl said. Logan groaned in response. I don't believe this…
"What goes on between Max and me is none of your business," he muttered. "Now please leave. And turn out the light when you go."
"I know what you've been doing," Syl said evenly, causing Logan's heart to skip a beat. What does she mean? he wondered. Does she mean what I'm doing with Max, or is she talking about the things I've been up to behind Max's back? "I know you're Kilroy," Syl added, answering Logan's question instantly.
Logan pulled the pillow away from his face, squinting in the bright light as he tried to focus his blurry vision on Syl. Almost as an afterthought he realized that he hadn't put his glasses on. With a quick, practiced flourish of his hand, he had lifted the glasses from his nightstand and put them on, immediately wishing he hadn't done so as Syl's challenging stare fell upon him.
"You think I'm Kilroy?" Logan asked lamely, wondering why he was even bothering to deny the accusation. He knew enough about Syl to know she never would have said anything unless she was already sure. She was careful, meticulous, and extremely intuitive.
"Don't bother playing all innocent," Syl replied, an amused grin forming on her lips. "It's not like I'm here to arrest you or anything, Logan."
"Then what are you here for?"
"We need to talk," Syl said once more.
"About Max," Logan finished for her.
"She doesn't know, does she?"
"No," Logan muttered, now wondering how long that situation would last. One of Max's most trusted lieutenants now knows, he thought angrily, irritated that he hadn't been more careful. Gotta figure Max will find out soon enough… if she hasn't already. "Did you tell her?"
"No," Syl answered. "And I don't see any reason why I should."
"What?" Logan asked warily, forcing his body into a seated position as he looked Syl over, searching for any hint of deception.
"I'm an X5, Logan," Syl reminded him, "I'm a little smarter than the average bear. It's not like I don't realize why you haven't let Max know."
"And why do you think I haven't told her?" he asked, wanting to make certain that Syl understood his motives.
"Two reasons," she answered. "First, she's playing the role of the idealistic, pacifist leader. She can't be permitted to know the details about some of the violence that's occurring elsewhere. You know, plausible deniability and all that stuff. You seem to think that a more militant approach is necessary, and I agree… especially when it comes to the Familiars. But just like leaders like Gandhi or Martin Luther King had to distance themselves from violence, so does Max. It wouldn't look good if people found out her ex-boyfriend was leading a private army fighting a covert war against a millennia-old breeding cult."
"I'm glad you can see where people might have a problem with that," Logan said sarcastically, relieved that the razor-sharp wit he felt he possessed was quickly returning from the blissful retreat of sleep.
"What you're doing needs to be done, just as much as what Max is doing," Syl continued. "We just have to make sure she never finds out."
"We?" Logan asked skeptically, wondering at Syl's true motives. Is she just trying to get closer, so that she can find out even more before she reports back to Max? he wondered.
"You think you can pull this off alone?" Syl asked.
"I'm not alone," Logan corrected.
"Sure, you have Set and all of his little soldiers, but you don't have anyone to cover for you with Max," Syl pointed out. "I can do that, if you want."
"Why?"
"Because you're a good man," Syl responded, "and you're trying to help us. I appreciate that."
"I'm a good man?" Logan asked, wondering not only whether it was true, but how Syl had come to such a dubious conclusion. With the things that had recently been done at his command, he could hardly imagine anyone would ever consider him good again.
"I told you there were two reasons you've kept Max in the dark," Syl reminded Logan, "but I've only said one, so far. The other is that you're protecting Max… personally, not professionally, you know?"
"How do you figure?"
"Like I said, what you're doing needs to be done," Syl answered. "Zack is trying, but lately he's like a whole six pack of beer without the little plastic thingy holding the cans together, if you know what I mean." Logan nodded his head even as he smiled at Syl's twisted use of simile. "Since he's a tad bit crazy, we can't count on him waging war efficiently. That leaves Max as the only other legitimate transgenic leader. I know you don't want her to have to do the things you've been doing. I know how it makes you feel, and by taking the reins as far as the war goes, you're sparing her the inevitable pain and guilt she would feel. That makes you a good man."
"If you say so," Logan responded, unconvinced that his display of self-sacrifice was in any way noble.
"You must feel so lonely sometimes," Syl commented, taking a hesitant step toward Logan.
"Not really," he replied. "I've spent most of my life alone in one way or another. You get used to it."
"No one should have to get used to it," Syl countered. "I know all about it, Logan, and I'll tell ya – it sucks being alone."
"It's not like I have much of a choice," Logan said. "It comes with the job."
"The job?" Syl asked with an amused chuckle. "Is that what this is?"
"It's certainly not what I do for fun," Logan responded.
"And I guess it's nice that you get to set your own hours."
"Although it's certainly inconvenient when co-workers wake me up in the middle of the night," Logan said with a mock stern face. He could tell that for the briefest of moments Syl wondered whether or not he was being serious, so he grinned slightly to clear up her confusion. She smiled back.
"Sorry 'bout that," she responded. "I just decided I needed to get that all off my chest right now, like I couldn't wait another minute before I said all that stuff. You know what I mean?"
"Yes," Logan muttered. "It started gnawing at you, and wouldn't quit. I get that feeling a lot."
"And what do you do to make it all better?"
"I try not to think about it," Logan said.
"It's that simple?"
"Sometimes," he replied. "The rest of the time… Well, let's just say that I spend more time brooding than just about anyone this side of Alec."
"I've noticed," she answered, taking another step toward him. "It doesn't have to be like that, though." She locked her gaze onto his and took yet another step forward, walking into his personal space as she looked down on him with a completely blank expression.
"What are you doing?" Logan asked nervously as Syl cautiously sat down on the bed next to him, wrapping her slender, callused hands around his. He could feel his heartbeat quicken, his blood start to boil. It had been so long since a woman had gotten close to him – especially with that look in her eyes, he thought – that he hardly knew what to say or do next.
"What do you think I'm doing?" Syl asked, her voice barely a whisper. She leaned in towards him, stopping her face just inches away from his, and Logan could feel her breath cross over his lips. It sent chills through his body.
If she were Max, that would have been enough to kill me not so long ago, he knew. He chased that thought away, though. He was shocked to realize that he had no desire to think about Max. And it's not because I care any less about her, he concluded, surprising himself with that revelation. It's just that she has her own life, and I have mine. It wouldn't be fair for either one of us to go there right now. But Syl…
"Are you sure?" Logan asked, part of him refusing to believe that a woman as attractive as Syl could possibly be coming on to him. Her lips danced just a hair's breadth from his, teasing him, thrilling him.
"Of course I'm sure," Syl purred, her hands gently moving up Logan's arms and closing their tight, gentle grasp on his shoulders. He inhaled her breath, amazed at how sweet it smelled. She smells like chocolate, he realized. And raspberries. A new thought came into his mind, and he almost fell over at the inanity of such a thing occurring to him. She found the truffles I hid in the cabinet over the fridge.
All of his other thoughts were suddenly cut off when Syl's lips gently touched his, finally breaking the atmosphere of intense anticipation with the thrill of satisfaction. He could taste her breath now, as sweet as it had smelled; he could feel her body trembling slightly under his hands, which momentarily settled on her hips before slowly moving up along her back. His fingertips passed over her soft cotton shirt lightly, with a touch that so many women before had told him sent chills up and down their spines. He hoped he was having the same effect now.
The kiss became deeper, stronger, as the tentative, uncertain intimacy gave way to a growing passion. Logan's blood now pounded in his ears, his heart thundered in his chest. His body ached and burned, and it felt incredibly refreshing. I feel so alive, he realized, wondering how long it had been since he had felt so energized. It's been so long… so long…
"Don't make me leave," Syl muttered as she drew back half an inch, just far enough so that she could speak.
"You can stay," Logan assured her. "I'll tell Max you can stay."
"I don't mean stay here in the penthouse with you," she said breathlessly. She kissed him again, ever so softly, and then drew back to continue. "I mean stay here with you… here… in your room. Tonight." Logan almost fell over when he saw her expression. She looked… hungry. He had never seen any woman, even Max, ever gaze at him so longingly.
"Syl…" Logan said, his voice trailing off as he tried to think of something to say.
"Don't say anything," she told him, seeming to read his thoughts. "I'm not asking for you to love me, Logan. I'm not asking that you forget about your crusade, or your friends, or even Max. I'm just asking you to let me stay. We don't have to be alone anymore… either one of us. Don't make it mean more than it has to. Just let me be there for you, no strings attached." She grabbed the back of his head and pulled him closer, kissing him again as her hands went down his back and then under his shirt. She rubbed softly up to his neck, then scratched her short nails all the way back down his spine, sending shivers through his entire body as she uttered some kind of noise – half snarl and half purr – that sent a primal thrill right through him.
"I couldn't tell you to leave if I wanted to," he admitted.
"Then I'm all yours, Logan Cale," Syl muttered as she laid him back onto the soft down blanket and pillows.
To be continued……………………………