Yeah! Another ficcy by me! The awesome Lily Tsukino! The title isn't
that great, but I'm not very good with titles. I don't own Trigun,
(unfortunately) and this is my first Trigun fic, and I thought it up at
three am when I couldn't sleep, so please be nice with your reviews ^.^
Gunman's Greatest Fear
Meryl awoke to the sounds of someone moving around in Vash's room. Vash's room? Jumping out bed, Meryl ran next door, still in her nightgown. "Vash!" The tall blonde paused and turned around. Meryl ran to him, hugging him and pressing her face to his chest. "You're back! You were so long, I thought...but that doesn't matter, you're here..." She turned her face up to him. He looked slightly stunned, and very tired, but he was smiling. "You missed me that much?" he asked. Meryl nodded. "Vash...I need to tell you something..." she said, still not letting go. "I...I love you," she whispered into his coat. Vash stiffened, and a twinge of panic welled up inside of Meryl. He remained silent, but with one hand stroked her hair, and with the other he tightened his grip on her. Meryl relaxed. He's just being a little shy, she mused. He probably just isn't ready to say it yet. After several moments, Meryl pulled away. "I'll go start breakfast," she said, and left Vash alone with the unconscious form of his brother. He finished tucking Knives in, a task he had abandon with Meryl's arrival, then sat down on a chair. She loves me. She loves ME! was all he could think. Then, We-we could spend our lives together- Vash's smile faltered, then died. "No, that would never work," he whispered. He was over 300 years old; Meryl, she was what? 20? 25 at most. It wasn't the age difference that bothered him, it was the fact that no matter how old she got to be, he would still out live her. He tried to picture her at 80, and couldn't. Even if she made it that long, it would still be an eye blink to him. Vash blinked rapidly to clear the threatening tears from his eyes. It didn't matter how much they loved each other. It could never work. And what if she got one of the mental sicknesses of the elderly? His heart tore at the thought of Meryl, old and dying, not remembering who he was. "Millie! Vash! Breakfast!" Meryl's call brought Vash back to reality. He glanced at Knives and shoved away his depressing thoughts. First breakfast, then he would see to Knives' wounds. He would have time to mope later. For now, he had to face Meryl. ***~~~***~~~ Vash didn't know how he got through the next 2 weeks. He only knew that everyday was harder than the last. Even though hid heart was screaming to take Meryl in his arms, kiss her, hold her tight, tell her how much he loved her, he didn't. When knives woke on the third day, Vash threw himself into the rehabilitation of his brother. He spent hours helping him move wounded limbs and tending bandages. They even talked, and Vash could feel the brother he had longed for in the past returning. This brought some solace to his aching heart, but it was like healing a wound that was so old it only hurt when he thought about it, while his anguish over Meryl was a constant, searing pain that nothing could dim. At last, when Knives was able to stand and walk on his own for short periods of time, he asked what was wrong. Vash was silent for a long time before he replied. "I want to leave here," he said quietly. "You want to leave Meryl that much?" Vash gave a tiny smile. "I always did have a hard time hiding the truth from you." "So why do you want to leave? I thought you loved her?" "I do. But...I shouldn't love her. We could never...." Vash stopped before he broke down. "That's the trouble with humans, isn't it?" Knives shook his head. "Ironic, how I'm the one who went on the anti-human warpath, and how you're the one refusing to care about a human." "I suppose that is a little ironic," he replied. "But I'd only end up losing her in the end. We could live another 300 years, or more. To love her, only to lose her so quickly..." Knives held up his hand. "I know what you're saying. So when did you want to leave. I'm healthy enough to travel now, so you won't have to wait." "You want to come with me?" "Of course." Vash smiled. "I'd like to of left yesterday." "So say good-bye and we can leave tonight." Silence. "You weren't going to tell her." Vash shook his head. "She wouldn't understand. She'd want to come with me." His brother shook his head, but remained silent.
Meryl took a plate of doughnuts to the table. "Breakfast everyone!" she called. Millie came down almost immediately and they began to eat. They were on their second doughnut when Meryl pushed her chair away from the table. "I don't think they heard me," she said, and went up stairs. "Knives! Vash!" she called. She knocked on the door but no one answered. She pushed it open and gasped. The room and been wiped. Short of furniture, nothing remained. Vash's bag and red coat were gone, even the dishes that usually littered the bedside table, evidence to his habit of midnight snacks, were gone. Meryl ran to the dresser and began opening drawers. All empty. Shocked, she backed up to Vash's bed, collapsing onto it. She heard something crinkle as she put weight on the pillow. It was a letter. Meryl picked it up with shaking hands and opened it. As she read, a sob caught in her throat, and she slid to the floor as tears coursed down her cheeks. "I don't understand," she sobbed. "Vash...how...why did you leave me?" Millie came in then, and Meryl dissolved into tears on her friend's shoulder. When she was under control, Meryl spoke very quietly. "I think...it's time we go back to the main office." Millie nodded. "I'll get us tickets on the sand steamer. A friend told me it leaves today at noon."
Vash leaned over the rail, wishing he could sop the pain in his heart. Knives was in their room, resting. He still tired easily. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the last passengers boarding. They'd be leaving soon. Meryl was probably discovering he was gone by now. The thought brought a pang of guilt He rubbed his chest, wishing that was all it took to make the pain go away. It's kind of strange, he thought. Before when I went away, I always missed Meryl a lot, and I couldn't wait to get back, But now that she's said she loves me, it's like a dam has broken, and I'm drowning in misery and guilt. He ignored the little voice in the back of his head telling him it was because he had hurt her. Vash turned to go indoors, but when he opened the door he walked straight into Millie. "Vash-san!" Millie's face quickly contorted from surprise to anger. "Jerk! To hurt sempai like that!" She swung at him, catching him completely off guard and knocking the gunman to the ground. He started to get up, saying "Millie, calm down, what are you-" Then she was right in front of him, pinning Vash to a wall. "Just leaving! You hurt her! She's crying right now because she doesn't understand!" Vash put his hands on Millie's shoulders and pried her away. "Millie...tell her I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't want to hurt her." "If she finds out you're here and won't talk to her, she'll be more upset. Tell her yourself." With that, Millie walked away. Vash spent the evening in his room. He didn't say a word, only read a little in a book. Finally, Knives couldn't stand it any more. "She's here, isn't she?" Vash nodded. "I ran into Millie and she told me." "So they figured out we'd take the sand steamer. It's pretty obvious I suppose." I don't know. She didn't say." "Just hauled off and punched you?" Knives motioned to the mark on his brother's cheek. "Right before she gave me a dressing down." "Hmm."
A commotion in the hallway grabbed their attention. Knives peeked out the door. "Bandits," he said simply. Vash picked up his six shooter and headed out the door. "Stay here. You're not strong enough yet," he said when his twin moved to follow him. Knives was about to object, but Vash closed the door and was gone. He could tell almost immediately that these bandits were nothing like the Neon-what's their names. They were unskilled and unorganized, but there were a lot of them. He turned the corner at the end of the hall, and saw some of the bandits dumping jewelry, money and other valuables into sacks. For an instant, Vash thought he saw Meryl's broach among the stolen objects and forced down a shudder. If they've laid one finger on her... Vash raised his gun, but shots went off and three of the bandits fell to the ground dead. The two remaining made a run for it, not wanting to be caught in the next round of fire. A head poked around the corner. "Knives!" "You didn't really expect me to miss all this, did you?" he asked. "Knives, you killed them!" "Preventative measures," he replied, and crossed the distance between them. "Let's go. I saw them taking some hostages to the bridge. Meryl might be up there." Upset as he was over the killing, Knives words where just the thing to make him hurry. These didn't seem to be the type that would treat the passengers well. Finding the door to the bridge heavily guarded, and not wanting to give away their position, The twins used an air duct that over looked the bridge to asses what was going on. Below, the bandits were bringing the steamer to a halt. Another group was guarding the passengers. Vash's heat clenched in anger when he spotted one of the bandits trying to feel up Meryl. He fought the urge to jump down there and strangle the pervert. "I think our best chance is to create as much chaos as possible and get the people to fun for it," Knives said. Vash was forced to agree. There were about twice as many bandits as there had been Neons. Vash checked his gun. There were four shots in there now, and he had two clips in his pocket. He lifted the vent and prepared to drop down. "I'll play rear guard," Knives volunteered, much to Vash's relief. "Don't kill anyone," Vash said firmly, and slid to the floor below.
When Meryl saw Vash appear in all of his red leather splendor, she gasped. She couldn't believe he was there. When all this mess was over, she could get some explanations from him, and-- She didn't have any more time to think. The bridge exploded in gun fire, and the passengers were either screaming, running for the doors, or both. Meryl jumped the bandit that had tried to grope her and used his knife to cut the bonds on her wrists before releasing Millie, and a few others nearby. She joined in the mêlée, adding her derringers to the explosive noise of the other guns, while Millie used her stun gun to the best advantage. As suddenly as it had begun, it was over. Bandits were all over the floor, some were knocked out, some bleeding. A few she was sure were dead, probably hit with stray bullets or by their own comrades. Vash, you really know how to make an entrance," she muttered as she bandaged the person nearest her. But she was smiling ever so slightly.
It was late before Vash was able to go back to his room. He and knives were almost to the door when he heard running footsteps. "Vash!" Vash spun around. It was Meryl. She ran to him, slowing a few paces away. Knives slopped discreetly into their room, leaving the couple alone. "Meryl...what...?" "I was going back to the main office," she explained, coming a step closer. "Why did you...?" She was coming nearer, was going to touch him. Vash knew that if she did that all of his defenses would come crashing down. To feel the pressure of her hand resting lightly on his arm, to have to look into her mournful, pleading eyes... Vash backed away so quickly he tripped. He braced himself against the wall just in time. "Vash-" she reached for him. Vash panicked and dashed into the room. he slammed the door as she called out his name again. He stumbled to his bed, trying to hold back a sob.
Meryl stood outside the door for a long time, until Millie found her and led her back to their room. Millie sat her down on the bed, and the numbness Meryl had felt melted away slowly, being replaced instead by the felling that an icy fist was squeezing her heart until she thought it would burst. She laid down, and quietly cried herself to sleep.
The next morning, Vash was afraid to go down to the dining hall. He knew Meryl was probably waiting for him. Unfortunately, not eating for 24 hours had caught up with him, and his stomach growled so loudly that Knives rolled over and asked what the noise was. A few minutes later, after Knives had talked him into getting so food (it wasn't too hard once he opened the door and all the smells came wafting in), Vash was in line with his brother at the breakfast buffet. He filled his plate, nearly drooling over the large pile of glazed doughnuts he had grabbed. He stuffed two whole into his mouth, and was about to find a seat when someone tapped him on the shoulder. "You're sitting with me, doughnut boy," Meryl said. Her arms were crossed and she did not look happy. She took his sleeve and dragged him to a table. Vash lost his appetite and had a hard time swallowing the suddenly disgusting-tasting doughnuts. "Explain," Meryl ordered. "Why did you just disappear like that? And what was with you last night?" The blond forced down the lump in his throat and tried to take his time answering. His stomach was in knots and he could hardly breath. Finally he said, "I don't think this is the place to talk about this." "Like that's ever stopped you from talking about something before!" Meryl snapped, her face turning red. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Vash had risen from the table without taking another bite of his meal, and was out the door before Meryl could go after him. Knives started to follow, then grabbed a few of the untouched doughnuts before following in his brother's wake. "I don't understand him anymore, Millie," Meryl said quietly. "I don't know what's happening."
At the next stop, Vash and Knives departed. Meryl decided that if she ever saw that town again, it would be too soon. As she watched the twins get off at the station, Vash's coat standing out like a beacon, Meryl said to herself, "I don't care if I never see you again, Vash the Stampede!" But when he was back in the empty halls of the steamer, she was filled with a sense of loneliness, and she was sure she had heard what was left of her broken heart shatter.
Meryl couldn't concentrate. When Vash left, she cried herself to sleep every night for weeks. Now, she only did that about once a week. But she avoided the guys at the office who asked her out like the plague, and occasionally she had a day when she couldn't get HIM out of her head. Today was one of those days. A doughnut shop had had it's grand opening that morning, she had seen it on her way into work. There had been a man in line with blond hair and a red shirt. For an instant, she had thought it was Vash, but only for a quarter second. Now, the gunman was all she could think about. She remembered when they first met, him running alongside her, stuffing doughnuts in his mouth as they fled for their lives. He's probably happier this way, she thought. He wanted so badly to get away... She blinked away tears. But that's o.k., as long as he's happy. I just want him to be happy... "Meryl, you've been staring at that claim form for twenty minutes. Are you all right?" Meryl's head snapped up. "Oh! Sir! I um, I just-" "Meryl, go home early," her boss said. "You've been out of sorts ever since you got your office job back. Are you sure you're all right?" "I-I'm fine-" "I think I know what your problem is Meryl," her boss continued. "You've been working here for four years, and not once have you taken a day off. You could probably take off the rest of the year and still have time left over." "But sir, that's two months-" "Go home Meryl," he said firmly. "Find a nice quiet place to relax, and come back after the new year. I can't let my best girl get burned out, now can I?" So Meryl did the only thing she could. She packed up her pink suitcase, bought a ticket for the sand steamer, and prepared to take two months off. When Millie asked to come along, Meryl shook her head. "I think this is something I need to do alone," she replied. And so, Meryl Strife of the Bernaldi Insurance Agency boarded the sand steamer alone, and was the only person to get off at a small town called Graceville. It was hotter than usually, and she stopped at a bar at the edge of town to get a glass of water. The saloon was empty, save for the bar tender and a man in the corner. Meryl was instantly repulsed by him. His head was on the table, and long, dirty blond hair spilled over his folded arms. It wasn't even noon yet, and the man was passed out drunk. While Meryl waited for her water, she remembered Vash, and the time he had been drunk and thrown out of the saloon. The thought of his red- cheeked smile brought the lump back to her throat. She washed it away with her drink, paid, and left in search of an apartment since she would be staying so long.
"That idiot!" Knives muttered as he locked the door of the apartment he shared with his brother. While he was working his tail off to pay the rent, his idiot twin was off blowing all his money at the bar. Right now he was probably wither so drunk he didn't know his own name, or he was passed out in the street where the bar tender had thrown him when he wasn't able to pay his tab. And now Knives had to go get him and drag him back to the apartment. He was so angry he wasn't watching where he was going and crashed into someone. "Oof! Sorry," he said quickly, without looking at the person. "Knives!" Knives whirled around and came face to face with Meryl. "What are you doing here?" they asked in unison. "I'm on vacation." "I live here." "Knives... how's Vash?" Meryl asked. "He--he's good," Knives replied, and quickly turned to go. How could her tell her that his brother had turned into a drunken fool? "You're lying, I can tell. You're just like Vash when he lies." Meryl looked almost afraid. "Tell me the truth, please." Knives sighed. "If you really want to know, come with me. But you won't like it." Meryl's face paled, but she followed, still dragging her suitcase.
"It didn't work," Vash whispered into the dust. "It didn't work." For six months he had tried to forget Meryl existed, tried to move on. But he couldn't . The pain in his heart only intensified every day. So he did the only thing he could think of. He drank. He couldn't seem to stop until he either forgot about her, or he passed out. Either way, he had a short period of time when he was pared the pain of her memory. Today though, the bar tender had gotten annoyed with him and thrown him out before he could get sufficiently drunk. So now he was prostrate in the middle of the road, too exhausted to move. He had been emotionally and mentally drained for weeks, feeling only the pain of his heart. The alcohol and heat were taking their toll, along with his sleepless nights. A small part of his mind told him to move, to get some shade, but he was tired. Tired of everything. It would be better to just die here in the street then to move. Even if he passed out, it would give him a brief respite from the life he had come to hate. He closed his eyes and waited to black out.
Knives and Meryl found Vash unconscious in front of the saloon. Together, they dragged him back to the apartment the brothers shared, which happened to be next door to the one Meryl was renting. They put Vash to bed, and Meryl offered to stay with him. Knives just shrugged. "He doesn't really need you, but if you want to..." Meryl took a basin of water and rag into Vash's room , and used it to wipe the dust from his face and neck. His room was a mess, but at the same time it looked like it was hardly lived in. The dresser drawers were all open with clothes hanging out. His belongings, though few, were all over the floor. The man himself didn't look much better. With a pang of regret Meryl realized that he was the drunk from the saloon she had been so disgusted with. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he badly needed a shave. His hair was too long now to put in his usual style, almost as long as when he was Ericks. His white cheeks had red splotches on them from intoxication. He didn't seem to have changed shirts for three or four days, and his mechanical arm bore signs of neglect. Meryl continued to wipe the cool water over his face, and didn't notice when her tears mingled with the moisture left by the cloth. How could he do this to himself? she wondered, pausing to stroke his cheek with her hand. He's nothing like the man I fell for. What's wrong with you Vash? Her patient stirred, and she gave him the best smile she could manage when he looked at her. Her hand still rested on his face, and she ran her thumb along his cheek bone. "How come I'm the one that always takes care of you when you're like this?" she asked softly. Vash made no reply, only closed his eyes again. "Oh Vash..." Another round of tears sprang to her eyes, and Meryl ran from the room.
Vash was in and out of a nightmarish state for the rest of the day. The sight of Meryl at his beside sent waves of fear and pain over him, and when he wasn't awake, he dreamed of her dying before his eyes, forgetting him, and worst of all, hating him. If he hadn't felt so weak and ill, he would have pulled away when she came to check on him. It was the next day when he nearly lost control. Meryl came in shortly after Knives had left for work, and when she saw he was awake and coherent, if a bit queasy with a hangover, her smile melted his heart, and all his defenses caved in. Meryl had a tray with her (thankfully there was no food on it), and she set it down on the table by his bed and took a seat next to him. "How're you feeling?" she asked, and brushed a lock of hair from his fore head. "Better, I guess," he replied, trying to smile. "That's good. Are you thirsty?" "Yes." Vash tried to sit up and accept the glass of water, but the only part of him with any strength was his gun arm. Added to his dizziness he nearly ended up head first in Meryl's lap when he lost his balance. She caught hit though, and to his great surprise she moved to sit behind him, supporting him while he drank. "There's mint in it to help with your stomach," she said, and brushed his hair back from his face. His heart beat faster when she pulled his head onto her shoulder and her arms encircled his waist. The feel of her so near made it hard for him to breath, and he had to choke down the water. If sudden moves didn't make him feel sick, he would have turned around right then and pinned her to the bed, kissing her until neither of them could breath. He wondered if she would kiss back, touch him, respond in any way, or (horror of horrors), would she slap him and call him a pervert? "Vash?" Meryl asked very quietly. "Hm?" "What's been going on with you lately? You're nothing like you were before you went to get Knives." Vash could hear the sadness in her voice, but he couldn't bring himself to answer. How could he explain that she was the problem? "Vash?" she was touching his face again, trying to make him look at her. He turned away. "Please don't ask me that. I can't tell you," he replied and tried to pull away. In his current state, however, Meryl was stronger. She held fast, and whispered, "Please, stop this. I don't want to see you hurting." She gave him a squeeze, then let go and helped him to lay down. Vash rolled over so his back was to her, and she silently left the room.
Meryl waged a war with tears all morning. When she checked on Vash, she always presented herself with dry eyes and a smile, not that her patient noticed. He remained facing the wall, never speaking. That evening, about an hour before Knives was due home, she broke. Tired of his silence, Meryl tried to get him to talk. At long last, he rolled over and snapped, "Leave me alone! Can't you let me be miserable in peace?!" Meryl backed away a step as the teas that had threatened all day well up in her eyes. He had never spoken to her like that. "What has happened to you?" she asked in a whisper. "Before, you were this happy, funny person. And now... you exchanged doughnuts and smiles for alcohol and anger." All that she had been holding back suddenly bubbled up and she couldn't stop it. "I'd almost convinced myself that even though my heart was broken and I needed you like oxygen that it was alright because this was what you wanted and you were happy and that was all that mattered." She paused as a sob escaped. "But you, the one who would risk everything to protect another, you've let the man I fell in love with die. You murdered him just as surely as if you had pulled the trigger on yourself!" The last of her strength melted away, and she ran from the apartment and collapsed in tears on her bed. On the other side of the wall, Vash did the same thing.
Meryl didn't come back again for two days. By then, Vash was in perfect condition, physically anyway, and the two days of being utterly alone gave him time to plan what he would say. He showed and shaved before going to see her; to have stayed as he was would only prove her right, and he was disgusted with himself anyway. He could at least fix his outer appearance with relative ease. Not that it makes much difference what I look like. She's right. I have changed. She changed me. Now I just have to prove to her how much. He noticed dimly that his hands were shaking like mad. So were his knees, as a matter of fact. His insides felt like he'd had a relapse of his hangover, as though if he were to open his mouth he would throw up. The reason behind his nerves? He had decided to tell Meryl the truth. All of it. And the thought brought a lump to the throat of the fearless gunman. He raised his hand to knock, and almost turned to run. But he swallowed hard, and tapped his knuckles against the door. When she appeared, Vash felt all the air leave his body, at the same time guilt stabbed at his heart. Always tiny, Meryl was bare foot, making her seem shorter. Her spindly limbs were in full view, instead of covered by her usual white outfit. Her skirt, slightly wrinkled accentuated her legs, and it was all Vash could to not to touch her slender, bare arms. Her hair, though combed, wasn't it's usual sleek self; it fell in her eyes and she brushed it way with one delicate finger tip. She was adorable. At the same times, her eyes were shadowed and she looked utterly depressed and broken. She seemed surprised to see him, but aside from that, she was impassive. Meryl motioned for him to come in, and as he did so, he spoke. "Let me just say I'm sorry. About everything. I never meant to hurt you." He looked at her again, at her large, sad eyes, and his planned speech flew out the window. Words poured from his mouth, and within moments, he could feel tears, too. "I wish I could undo everything I've done to you. I wish... I wish you had never met me. It would have spared you so much..." He closed his eyes, and Meryl spoke up. "Don't say that." He felt her hands on his arms. "I for one am glad we met. You taught me so much; how to treat people, how to understand them. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be who I am now." Vash sighed and brought himself under control. He pulled her into a chair and sat down next to her. "Meryl," he said, trying to think of how to tell her what was going on. He took a deep breath and tried to explain.
"...Finally, I just couldn't stand it any more. I was hurting all the time, I wanted to numb myself. Short of killing myself, that was the only way-" Suddenly Meryl was on top of him, hugging him tight with her small arms. She was incredible strong for her size. Her tears dripped down his neck, and he held onto her, never wanting to let go. "I think... I think that when I saw you with those kids, taking care of them, protecting them like that... that's when I realized I was in love," Vash said into her ear. He pulled her a little closer. She turned her face up to him, and suddenly he couldn't hold it in any more. He meant for the kiss to be light, a small token of his love. But before he knew what was happening, Meryl was kissing back and they were getting closer and closer. Meryl's fingers were buried in his hair, still long, reaching past h is shoulders. His hands were on her back, bringing her closer. They were so closes he could feel every curve of her body, the way her back arched so she could reach him better, every rib, the bumps of her spine, how she was straddling him in order to get closer. It wasn't just the kiss that told him how she felt, it was the way her heart raced, pounding against his chest, and the way her hands moved, always bringing him nearer. At last, she pulled away, panting. "Vash, tell me the truth," she said slowly. "Are you going to leave again?" He hesitated, the nodded. Meryl stood, removing herself from him. "Go then." Her voice was barely audible, and it broke Vash's heart to see her that way. He stood and went to the door. He looked over his shoulder as he reached for the knob. "Meryl-" "Just leave. Please. You've lived up to your reputation. You've left damage in your wake. So go. Find someone else to destroy." Vash watched as tears began to trickle down her cheeks, slowly at first, then faster and faster. She ran from the room, and Vash left the apartment, salty drops collecting on his chin and falling onto his shirt.
Thursday night, Meryl cried for hours, silently curled up on her bed. When her eyes were dry and sleep still eluded her, she stared out the window until almost dawn, contemplating her situation. No doubt Vash would take the steamer again. It would be there in the morning, and was the fastest way out of town. She felt utterly crushed and listless now that her tears were gone, and yet one tiny part of her heart wouldn't let her give up. Maybe there was still hope. But the bigger, rational part said that all hope was gone. She would never be with him again. The sky was turning gray with pre-dawn light when she nodded off from sheer exhaustion.
She didn't wake up until almost ten. Meryl panicked, throwing on her clothes and running out the door. She raced across the town on foot, and sighed in relief when she saw the steamer hadn't left yet. I've got to see him! she though as her chest began to ache. I've just go to! One last time! She could see the red dot that was Vash at the rail right in front of her. She forced herself to run the remaining distance, and she saw his surprise when he spotted her. He mouthed something, the disappeared inside, Knives following. A moment later, the steamer pulled away and was gone in seconds. "He's gone..." Meryl leaned limply against a porch rail, staring blankly.
Vash had been debating whether or not he was making the right choice from the moment he woke up, so when he spotted the white form of his love, he made up hid mind. His mouth formed her name without his consent, and then he was grabbing his bag, running off the steamer with Knives at his heels. When he reached the sand, he got swept up in the crowd. When he finally broke free, Meryl was no where to be seen. H and Knives ran up and down the streets, trying to find her. Vash raced down a street and nearly missed her. She was walking slowly, face downcast, with her back to him. Occasionally, she shoulders would shake and a sob could be heard.
Meryl was heedless of the tears rolling down her cheeks. You idiot! Vash, why did you have to be like this? You coward! she thought. Suddenly a strong arm wrapped itself around her waist, and it's owner was giving her a passionate kiss before she could move. Not that she wanted to. The smell of leather, the taste of sugar on her lips, and a glimpse of blond hair were all she needed to be sure it was Vash. When the kiss ended, all Meryl could do was smile. "You didn't leave," she whispered, bringing a hand to his face in a gentle caress. He brought his head down so they were cheek to cheek. "I changed my mind," he whispered back. "It's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, right? And I love you more than anyone. I'm staying with you." Tears of joy rolled down Meryl's face, and she kissed him again. When Meryl returned to the office a month later, it was with a smile on her face and a wedding band on one hand.
Gunman's Greatest Fear
Meryl awoke to the sounds of someone moving around in Vash's room. Vash's room? Jumping out bed, Meryl ran next door, still in her nightgown. "Vash!" The tall blonde paused and turned around. Meryl ran to him, hugging him and pressing her face to his chest. "You're back! You were so long, I thought...but that doesn't matter, you're here..." She turned her face up to him. He looked slightly stunned, and very tired, but he was smiling. "You missed me that much?" he asked. Meryl nodded. "Vash...I need to tell you something..." she said, still not letting go. "I...I love you," she whispered into his coat. Vash stiffened, and a twinge of panic welled up inside of Meryl. He remained silent, but with one hand stroked her hair, and with the other he tightened his grip on her. Meryl relaxed. He's just being a little shy, she mused. He probably just isn't ready to say it yet. After several moments, Meryl pulled away. "I'll go start breakfast," she said, and left Vash alone with the unconscious form of his brother. He finished tucking Knives in, a task he had abandon with Meryl's arrival, then sat down on a chair. She loves me. She loves ME! was all he could think. Then, We-we could spend our lives together- Vash's smile faltered, then died. "No, that would never work," he whispered. He was over 300 years old; Meryl, she was what? 20? 25 at most. It wasn't the age difference that bothered him, it was the fact that no matter how old she got to be, he would still out live her. He tried to picture her at 80, and couldn't. Even if she made it that long, it would still be an eye blink to him. Vash blinked rapidly to clear the threatening tears from his eyes. It didn't matter how much they loved each other. It could never work. And what if she got one of the mental sicknesses of the elderly? His heart tore at the thought of Meryl, old and dying, not remembering who he was. "Millie! Vash! Breakfast!" Meryl's call brought Vash back to reality. He glanced at Knives and shoved away his depressing thoughts. First breakfast, then he would see to Knives' wounds. He would have time to mope later. For now, he had to face Meryl. ***~~~***~~~ Vash didn't know how he got through the next 2 weeks. He only knew that everyday was harder than the last. Even though hid heart was screaming to take Meryl in his arms, kiss her, hold her tight, tell her how much he loved her, he didn't. When knives woke on the third day, Vash threw himself into the rehabilitation of his brother. He spent hours helping him move wounded limbs and tending bandages. They even talked, and Vash could feel the brother he had longed for in the past returning. This brought some solace to his aching heart, but it was like healing a wound that was so old it only hurt when he thought about it, while his anguish over Meryl was a constant, searing pain that nothing could dim. At last, when Knives was able to stand and walk on his own for short periods of time, he asked what was wrong. Vash was silent for a long time before he replied. "I want to leave here," he said quietly. "You want to leave Meryl that much?" Vash gave a tiny smile. "I always did have a hard time hiding the truth from you." "So why do you want to leave? I thought you loved her?" "I do. But...I shouldn't love her. We could never...." Vash stopped before he broke down. "That's the trouble with humans, isn't it?" Knives shook his head. "Ironic, how I'm the one who went on the anti-human warpath, and how you're the one refusing to care about a human." "I suppose that is a little ironic," he replied. "But I'd only end up losing her in the end. We could live another 300 years, or more. To love her, only to lose her so quickly..." Knives held up his hand. "I know what you're saying. So when did you want to leave. I'm healthy enough to travel now, so you won't have to wait." "You want to come with me?" "Of course." Vash smiled. "I'd like to of left yesterday." "So say good-bye and we can leave tonight." Silence. "You weren't going to tell her." Vash shook his head. "She wouldn't understand. She'd want to come with me." His brother shook his head, but remained silent.
Meryl took a plate of doughnuts to the table. "Breakfast everyone!" she called. Millie came down almost immediately and they began to eat. They were on their second doughnut when Meryl pushed her chair away from the table. "I don't think they heard me," she said, and went up stairs. "Knives! Vash!" she called. She knocked on the door but no one answered. She pushed it open and gasped. The room and been wiped. Short of furniture, nothing remained. Vash's bag and red coat were gone, even the dishes that usually littered the bedside table, evidence to his habit of midnight snacks, were gone. Meryl ran to the dresser and began opening drawers. All empty. Shocked, she backed up to Vash's bed, collapsing onto it. She heard something crinkle as she put weight on the pillow. It was a letter. Meryl picked it up with shaking hands and opened it. As she read, a sob caught in her throat, and she slid to the floor as tears coursed down her cheeks. "I don't understand," she sobbed. "Vash...how...why did you leave me?" Millie came in then, and Meryl dissolved into tears on her friend's shoulder. When she was under control, Meryl spoke very quietly. "I think...it's time we go back to the main office." Millie nodded. "I'll get us tickets on the sand steamer. A friend told me it leaves today at noon."
Vash leaned over the rail, wishing he could sop the pain in his heart. Knives was in their room, resting. He still tired easily. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the last passengers boarding. They'd be leaving soon. Meryl was probably discovering he was gone by now. The thought brought a pang of guilt He rubbed his chest, wishing that was all it took to make the pain go away. It's kind of strange, he thought. Before when I went away, I always missed Meryl a lot, and I couldn't wait to get back, But now that she's said she loves me, it's like a dam has broken, and I'm drowning in misery and guilt. He ignored the little voice in the back of his head telling him it was because he had hurt her. Vash turned to go indoors, but when he opened the door he walked straight into Millie. "Vash-san!" Millie's face quickly contorted from surprise to anger. "Jerk! To hurt sempai like that!" She swung at him, catching him completely off guard and knocking the gunman to the ground. He started to get up, saying "Millie, calm down, what are you-" Then she was right in front of him, pinning Vash to a wall. "Just leaving! You hurt her! She's crying right now because she doesn't understand!" Vash put his hands on Millie's shoulders and pried her away. "Millie...tell her I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't want to hurt her." "If she finds out you're here and won't talk to her, she'll be more upset. Tell her yourself." With that, Millie walked away. Vash spent the evening in his room. He didn't say a word, only read a little in a book. Finally, Knives couldn't stand it any more. "She's here, isn't she?" Vash nodded. "I ran into Millie and she told me." "So they figured out we'd take the sand steamer. It's pretty obvious I suppose." I don't know. She didn't say." "Just hauled off and punched you?" Knives motioned to the mark on his brother's cheek. "Right before she gave me a dressing down." "Hmm."
A commotion in the hallway grabbed their attention. Knives peeked out the door. "Bandits," he said simply. Vash picked up his six shooter and headed out the door. "Stay here. You're not strong enough yet," he said when his twin moved to follow him. Knives was about to object, but Vash closed the door and was gone. He could tell almost immediately that these bandits were nothing like the Neon-what's their names. They were unskilled and unorganized, but there were a lot of them. He turned the corner at the end of the hall, and saw some of the bandits dumping jewelry, money and other valuables into sacks. For an instant, Vash thought he saw Meryl's broach among the stolen objects and forced down a shudder. If they've laid one finger on her... Vash raised his gun, but shots went off and three of the bandits fell to the ground dead. The two remaining made a run for it, not wanting to be caught in the next round of fire. A head poked around the corner. "Knives!" "You didn't really expect me to miss all this, did you?" he asked. "Knives, you killed them!" "Preventative measures," he replied, and crossed the distance between them. "Let's go. I saw them taking some hostages to the bridge. Meryl might be up there." Upset as he was over the killing, Knives words where just the thing to make him hurry. These didn't seem to be the type that would treat the passengers well. Finding the door to the bridge heavily guarded, and not wanting to give away their position, The twins used an air duct that over looked the bridge to asses what was going on. Below, the bandits were bringing the steamer to a halt. Another group was guarding the passengers. Vash's heat clenched in anger when he spotted one of the bandits trying to feel up Meryl. He fought the urge to jump down there and strangle the pervert. "I think our best chance is to create as much chaos as possible and get the people to fun for it," Knives said. Vash was forced to agree. There were about twice as many bandits as there had been Neons. Vash checked his gun. There were four shots in there now, and he had two clips in his pocket. He lifted the vent and prepared to drop down. "I'll play rear guard," Knives volunteered, much to Vash's relief. "Don't kill anyone," Vash said firmly, and slid to the floor below.
When Meryl saw Vash appear in all of his red leather splendor, she gasped. She couldn't believe he was there. When all this mess was over, she could get some explanations from him, and-- She didn't have any more time to think. The bridge exploded in gun fire, and the passengers were either screaming, running for the doors, or both. Meryl jumped the bandit that had tried to grope her and used his knife to cut the bonds on her wrists before releasing Millie, and a few others nearby. She joined in the mêlée, adding her derringers to the explosive noise of the other guns, while Millie used her stun gun to the best advantage. As suddenly as it had begun, it was over. Bandits were all over the floor, some were knocked out, some bleeding. A few she was sure were dead, probably hit with stray bullets or by their own comrades. Vash, you really know how to make an entrance," she muttered as she bandaged the person nearest her. But she was smiling ever so slightly.
It was late before Vash was able to go back to his room. He and knives were almost to the door when he heard running footsteps. "Vash!" Vash spun around. It was Meryl. She ran to him, slowing a few paces away. Knives slopped discreetly into their room, leaving the couple alone. "Meryl...what...?" "I was going back to the main office," she explained, coming a step closer. "Why did you...?" She was coming nearer, was going to touch him. Vash knew that if she did that all of his defenses would come crashing down. To feel the pressure of her hand resting lightly on his arm, to have to look into her mournful, pleading eyes... Vash backed away so quickly he tripped. He braced himself against the wall just in time. "Vash-" she reached for him. Vash panicked and dashed into the room. he slammed the door as she called out his name again. He stumbled to his bed, trying to hold back a sob.
Meryl stood outside the door for a long time, until Millie found her and led her back to their room. Millie sat her down on the bed, and the numbness Meryl had felt melted away slowly, being replaced instead by the felling that an icy fist was squeezing her heart until she thought it would burst. She laid down, and quietly cried herself to sleep.
The next morning, Vash was afraid to go down to the dining hall. He knew Meryl was probably waiting for him. Unfortunately, not eating for 24 hours had caught up with him, and his stomach growled so loudly that Knives rolled over and asked what the noise was. A few minutes later, after Knives had talked him into getting so food (it wasn't too hard once he opened the door and all the smells came wafting in), Vash was in line with his brother at the breakfast buffet. He filled his plate, nearly drooling over the large pile of glazed doughnuts he had grabbed. He stuffed two whole into his mouth, and was about to find a seat when someone tapped him on the shoulder. "You're sitting with me, doughnut boy," Meryl said. Her arms were crossed and she did not look happy. She took his sleeve and dragged him to a table. Vash lost his appetite and had a hard time swallowing the suddenly disgusting-tasting doughnuts. "Explain," Meryl ordered. "Why did you just disappear like that? And what was with you last night?" The blond forced down the lump in his throat and tried to take his time answering. His stomach was in knots and he could hardly breath. Finally he said, "I don't think this is the place to talk about this." "Like that's ever stopped you from talking about something before!" Meryl snapped, her face turning red. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?" Vash had risen from the table without taking another bite of his meal, and was out the door before Meryl could go after him. Knives started to follow, then grabbed a few of the untouched doughnuts before following in his brother's wake. "I don't understand him anymore, Millie," Meryl said quietly. "I don't know what's happening."
At the next stop, Vash and Knives departed. Meryl decided that if she ever saw that town again, it would be too soon. As she watched the twins get off at the station, Vash's coat standing out like a beacon, Meryl said to herself, "I don't care if I never see you again, Vash the Stampede!" But when he was back in the empty halls of the steamer, she was filled with a sense of loneliness, and she was sure she had heard what was left of her broken heart shatter.
Meryl couldn't concentrate. When Vash left, she cried herself to sleep every night for weeks. Now, she only did that about once a week. But she avoided the guys at the office who asked her out like the plague, and occasionally she had a day when she couldn't get HIM out of her head. Today was one of those days. A doughnut shop had had it's grand opening that morning, she had seen it on her way into work. There had been a man in line with blond hair and a red shirt. For an instant, she had thought it was Vash, but only for a quarter second. Now, the gunman was all she could think about. She remembered when they first met, him running alongside her, stuffing doughnuts in his mouth as they fled for their lives. He's probably happier this way, she thought. He wanted so badly to get away... She blinked away tears. But that's o.k., as long as he's happy. I just want him to be happy... "Meryl, you've been staring at that claim form for twenty minutes. Are you all right?" Meryl's head snapped up. "Oh! Sir! I um, I just-" "Meryl, go home early," her boss said. "You've been out of sorts ever since you got your office job back. Are you sure you're all right?" "I-I'm fine-" "I think I know what your problem is Meryl," her boss continued. "You've been working here for four years, and not once have you taken a day off. You could probably take off the rest of the year and still have time left over." "But sir, that's two months-" "Go home Meryl," he said firmly. "Find a nice quiet place to relax, and come back after the new year. I can't let my best girl get burned out, now can I?" So Meryl did the only thing she could. She packed up her pink suitcase, bought a ticket for the sand steamer, and prepared to take two months off. When Millie asked to come along, Meryl shook her head. "I think this is something I need to do alone," she replied. And so, Meryl Strife of the Bernaldi Insurance Agency boarded the sand steamer alone, and was the only person to get off at a small town called Graceville. It was hotter than usually, and she stopped at a bar at the edge of town to get a glass of water. The saloon was empty, save for the bar tender and a man in the corner. Meryl was instantly repulsed by him. His head was on the table, and long, dirty blond hair spilled over his folded arms. It wasn't even noon yet, and the man was passed out drunk. While Meryl waited for her water, she remembered Vash, and the time he had been drunk and thrown out of the saloon. The thought of his red- cheeked smile brought the lump back to her throat. She washed it away with her drink, paid, and left in search of an apartment since she would be staying so long.
"That idiot!" Knives muttered as he locked the door of the apartment he shared with his brother. While he was working his tail off to pay the rent, his idiot twin was off blowing all his money at the bar. Right now he was probably wither so drunk he didn't know his own name, or he was passed out in the street where the bar tender had thrown him when he wasn't able to pay his tab. And now Knives had to go get him and drag him back to the apartment. He was so angry he wasn't watching where he was going and crashed into someone. "Oof! Sorry," he said quickly, without looking at the person. "Knives!" Knives whirled around and came face to face with Meryl. "What are you doing here?" they asked in unison. "I'm on vacation." "I live here." "Knives... how's Vash?" Meryl asked. "He--he's good," Knives replied, and quickly turned to go. How could her tell her that his brother had turned into a drunken fool? "You're lying, I can tell. You're just like Vash when he lies." Meryl looked almost afraid. "Tell me the truth, please." Knives sighed. "If you really want to know, come with me. But you won't like it." Meryl's face paled, but she followed, still dragging her suitcase.
"It didn't work," Vash whispered into the dust. "It didn't work." For six months he had tried to forget Meryl existed, tried to move on. But he couldn't . The pain in his heart only intensified every day. So he did the only thing he could think of. He drank. He couldn't seem to stop until he either forgot about her, or he passed out. Either way, he had a short period of time when he was pared the pain of her memory. Today though, the bar tender had gotten annoyed with him and thrown him out before he could get sufficiently drunk. So now he was prostrate in the middle of the road, too exhausted to move. He had been emotionally and mentally drained for weeks, feeling only the pain of his heart. The alcohol and heat were taking their toll, along with his sleepless nights. A small part of his mind told him to move, to get some shade, but he was tired. Tired of everything. It would be better to just die here in the street then to move. Even if he passed out, it would give him a brief respite from the life he had come to hate. He closed his eyes and waited to black out.
Knives and Meryl found Vash unconscious in front of the saloon. Together, they dragged him back to the apartment the brothers shared, which happened to be next door to the one Meryl was renting. They put Vash to bed, and Meryl offered to stay with him. Knives just shrugged. "He doesn't really need you, but if you want to..." Meryl took a basin of water and rag into Vash's room , and used it to wipe the dust from his face and neck. His room was a mess, but at the same time it looked like it was hardly lived in. The dresser drawers were all open with clothes hanging out. His belongings, though few, were all over the floor. The man himself didn't look much better. With a pang of regret Meryl realized that he was the drunk from the saloon she had been so disgusted with. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he badly needed a shave. His hair was too long now to put in his usual style, almost as long as when he was Ericks. His white cheeks had red splotches on them from intoxication. He didn't seem to have changed shirts for three or four days, and his mechanical arm bore signs of neglect. Meryl continued to wipe the cool water over his face, and didn't notice when her tears mingled with the moisture left by the cloth. How could he do this to himself? she wondered, pausing to stroke his cheek with her hand. He's nothing like the man I fell for. What's wrong with you Vash? Her patient stirred, and she gave him the best smile she could manage when he looked at her. Her hand still rested on his face, and she ran her thumb along his cheek bone. "How come I'm the one that always takes care of you when you're like this?" she asked softly. Vash made no reply, only closed his eyes again. "Oh Vash..." Another round of tears sprang to her eyes, and Meryl ran from the room.
Vash was in and out of a nightmarish state for the rest of the day. The sight of Meryl at his beside sent waves of fear and pain over him, and when he wasn't awake, he dreamed of her dying before his eyes, forgetting him, and worst of all, hating him. If he hadn't felt so weak and ill, he would have pulled away when she came to check on him. It was the next day when he nearly lost control. Meryl came in shortly after Knives had left for work, and when she saw he was awake and coherent, if a bit queasy with a hangover, her smile melted his heart, and all his defenses caved in. Meryl had a tray with her (thankfully there was no food on it), and she set it down on the table by his bed and took a seat next to him. "How're you feeling?" she asked, and brushed a lock of hair from his fore head. "Better, I guess," he replied, trying to smile. "That's good. Are you thirsty?" "Yes." Vash tried to sit up and accept the glass of water, but the only part of him with any strength was his gun arm. Added to his dizziness he nearly ended up head first in Meryl's lap when he lost his balance. She caught hit though, and to his great surprise she moved to sit behind him, supporting him while he drank. "There's mint in it to help with your stomach," she said, and brushed his hair back from his face. His heart beat faster when she pulled his head onto her shoulder and her arms encircled his waist. The feel of her so near made it hard for him to breath, and he had to choke down the water. If sudden moves didn't make him feel sick, he would have turned around right then and pinned her to the bed, kissing her until neither of them could breath. He wondered if she would kiss back, touch him, respond in any way, or (horror of horrors), would she slap him and call him a pervert? "Vash?" Meryl asked very quietly. "Hm?" "What's been going on with you lately? You're nothing like you were before you went to get Knives." Vash could hear the sadness in her voice, but he couldn't bring himself to answer. How could he explain that she was the problem? "Vash?" she was touching his face again, trying to make him look at her. He turned away. "Please don't ask me that. I can't tell you," he replied and tried to pull away. In his current state, however, Meryl was stronger. She held fast, and whispered, "Please, stop this. I don't want to see you hurting." She gave him a squeeze, then let go and helped him to lay down. Vash rolled over so his back was to her, and she silently left the room.
Meryl waged a war with tears all morning. When she checked on Vash, she always presented herself with dry eyes and a smile, not that her patient noticed. He remained facing the wall, never speaking. That evening, about an hour before Knives was due home, she broke. Tired of his silence, Meryl tried to get him to talk. At long last, he rolled over and snapped, "Leave me alone! Can't you let me be miserable in peace?!" Meryl backed away a step as the teas that had threatened all day well up in her eyes. He had never spoken to her like that. "What has happened to you?" she asked in a whisper. "Before, you were this happy, funny person. And now... you exchanged doughnuts and smiles for alcohol and anger." All that she had been holding back suddenly bubbled up and she couldn't stop it. "I'd almost convinced myself that even though my heart was broken and I needed you like oxygen that it was alright because this was what you wanted and you were happy and that was all that mattered." She paused as a sob escaped. "But you, the one who would risk everything to protect another, you've let the man I fell in love with die. You murdered him just as surely as if you had pulled the trigger on yourself!" The last of her strength melted away, and she ran from the apartment and collapsed in tears on her bed. On the other side of the wall, Vash did the same thing.
Meryl didn't come back again for two days. By then, Vash was in perfect condition, physically anyway, and the two days of being utterly alone gave him time to plan what he would say. He showed and shaved before going to see her; to have stayed as he was would only prove her right, and he was disgusted with himself anyway. He could at least fix his outer appearance with relative ease. Not that it makes much difference what I look like. She's right. I have changed. She changed me. Now I just have to prove to her how much. He noticed dimly that his hands were shaking like mad. So were his knees, as a matter of fact. His insides felt like he'd had a relapse of his hangover, as though if he were to open his mouth he would throw up. The reason behind his nerves? He had decided to tell Meryl the truth. All of it. And the thought brought a lump to the throat of the fearless gunman. He raised his hand to knock, and almost turned to run. But he swallowed hard, and tapped his knuckles against the door. When she appeared, Vash felt all the air leave his body, at the same time guilt stabbed at his heart. Always tiny, Meryl was bare foot, making her seem shorter. Her spindly limbs were in full view, instead of covered by her usual white outfit. Her skirt, slightly wrinkled accentuated her legs, and it was all Vash could to not to touch her slender, bare arms. Her hair, though combed, wasn't it's usual sleek self; it fell in her eyes and she brushed it way with one delicate finger tip. She was adorable. At the same times, her eyes were shadowed and she looked utterly depressed and broken. She seemed surprised to see him, but aside from that, she was impassive. Meryl motioned for him to come in, and as he did so, he spoke. "Let me just say I'm sorry. About everything. I never meant to hurt you." He looked at her again, at her large, sad eyes, and his planned speech flew out the window. Words poured from his mouth, and within moments, he could feel tears, too. "I wish I could undo everything I've done to you. I wish... I wish you had never met me. It would have spared you so much..." He closed his eyes, and Meryl spoke up. "Don't say that." He felt her hands on his arms. "I for one am glad we met. You taught me so much; how to treat people, how to understand them. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be who I am now." Vash sighed and brought himself under control. He pulled her into a chair and sat down next to her. "Meryl," he said, trying to think of how to tell her what was going on. He took a deep breath and tried to explain.
"...Finally, I just couldn't stand it any more. I was hurting all the time, I wanted to numb myself. Short of killing myself, that was the only way-" Suddenly Meryl was on top of him, hugging him tight with her small arms. She was incredible strong for her size. Her tears dripped down his neck, and he held onto her, never wanting to let go. "I think... I think that when I saw you with those kids, taking care of them, protecting them like that... that's when I realized I was in love," Vash said into her ear. He pulled her a little closer. She turned her face up to him, and suddenly he couldn't hold it in any more. He meant for the kiss to be light, a small token of his love. But before he knew what was happening, Meryl was kissing back and they were getting closer and closer. Meryl's fingers were buried in his hair, still long, reaching past h is shoulders. His hands were on her back, bringing her closer. They were so closes he could feel every curve of her body, the way her back arched so she could reach him better, every rib, the bumps of her spine, how she was straddling him in order to get closer. It wasn't just the kiss that told him how she felt, it was the way her heart raced, pounding against his chest, and the way her hands moved, always bringing him nearer. At last, she pulled away, panting. "Vash, tell me the truth," she said slowly. "Are you going to leave again?" He hesitated, the nodded. Meryl stood, removing herself from him. "Go then." Her voice was barely audible, and it broke Vash's heart to see her that way. He stood and went to the door. He looked over his shoulder as he reached for the knob. "Meryl-" "Just leave. Please. You've lived up to your reputation. You've left damage in your wake. So go. Find someone else to destroy." Vash watched as tears began to trickle down her cheeks, slowly at first, then faster and faster. She ran from the room, and Vash left the apartment, salty drops collecting on his chin and falling onto his shirt.
Thursday night, Meryl cried for hours, silently curled up on her bed. When her eyes were dry and sleep still eluded her, she stared out the window until almost dawn, contemplating her situation. No doubt Vash would take the steamer again. It would be there in the morning, and was the fastest way out of town. She felt utterly crushed and listless now that her tears were gone, and yet one tiny part of her heart wouldn't let her give up. Maybe there was still hope. But the bigger, rational part said that all hope was gone. She would never be with him again. The sky was turning gray with pre-dawn light when she nodded off from sheer exhaustion.
She didn't wake up until almost ten. Meryl panicked, throwing on her clothes and running out the door. She raced across the town on foot, and sighed in relief when she saw the steamer hadn't left yet. I've got to see him! she though as her chest began to ache. I've just go to! One last time! She could see the red dot that was Vash at the rail right in front of her. She forced herself to run the remaining distance, and she saw his surprise when he spotted her. He mouthed something, the disappeared inside, Knives following. A moment later, the steamer pulled away and was gone in seconds. "He's gone..." Meryl leaned limply against a porch rail, staring blankly.
Vash had been debating whether or not he was making the right choice from the moment he woke up, so when he spotted the white form of his love, he made up hid mind. His mouth formed her name without his consent, and then he was grabbing his bag, running off the steamer with Knives at his heels. When he reached the sand, he got swept up in the crowd. When he finally broke free, Meryl was no where to be seen. H and Knives ran up and down the streets, trying to find her. Vash raced down a street and nearly missed her. She was walking slowly, face downcast, with her back to him. Occasionally, she shoulders would shake and a sob could be heard.
Meryl was heedless of the tears rolling down her cheeks. You idiot! Vash, why did you have to be like this? You coward! she thought. Suddenly a strong arm wrapped itself around her waist, and it's owner was giving her a passionate kiss before she could move. Not that she wanted to. The smell of leather, the taste of sugar on her lips, and a glimpse of blond hair were all she needed to be sure it was Vash. When the kiss ended, all Meryl could do was smile. "You didn't leave," she whispered, bringing a hand to his face in a gentle caress. He brought his head down so they were cheek to cheek. "I changed my mind," he whispered back. "It's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, right? And I love you more than anyone. I'm staying with you." Tears of joy rolled down Meryl's face, and she kissed him again. When Meryl returned to the office a month later, it was with a smile on her face and a wedding band on one hand.