Konnichiwa minna!!! This is my first fan fic . . . the plot ideas are still
coming so bare with me, I want this to be a better than average story so it
might take a while for brainstorming. Not to mention the fact that I'm
typing this instead of reading the 80 million books I have for class
tomorrow :P
PS--- If you want a fluffy, waffy fic read something else !!!!
Sinking
Kenshin looked across the table at the Akabeko toward the raven- haired girl fighting with Yahiko over the last piece of fish. She glared angrily at the younger boy, demanding what was hers. Kaoru didn't notice his watchful gaze from under heavy red bangs, waiting to see the different expressions cross her lovely features, thinking deep thoughts. Her smile had the power to lift up things inside of him that he had tried for years to ignore. When she smiled at him, he always felt that he'd been given the forgiveness he needed.
*Maybe not forgiveness for Tomoe's death but at least Enishi will live and move on. He'll no longer let the pain that consumed even me dictate what he does with his life. It's not too late for him to start over . . .*
He smiled with reassurance as Kaoru paused in her argument to give him a puzzled look, finally noticing the object of his observations.
*Maybe I'll get a second chance too . . . *
"Kenshin?" Kaoru questioned gently.
Sanosuke looked up from the bone hanging out of the side of his mouth to see why Kaoru sounded concerned.
Kenshin's sincere but disclosed expression gave Sano the feeling that the red-head was remembering Enishi's recent madness. It had only been a short time since they'd returned from his island and lately Kenshin had had that far-away look.
"Oi, Kenshin," Sano interrupted, drawing the older man's attention. Lavender eyes met brown, the depths of which allowed him to understand things more clearly than if his friend had spoken aloud. They hadn't known one another for very long but Sanosuke knew his close friend fairly well. Kenshin had a bad habit of leaving him behind when it came to a good brawl but Sano understood things about the ex-hitokiri that even he, himself, didn't yet realize.
"The fox lady and I are taking Ayame and Suzume to the festival tonight."
"That's right!" Yahiko chimed in. "Are we going? Huh, Kenshin?"
"Kenshin, come on. It'll be fun," added Kaoru.
Kenshin continued to smile, his true thoughts buried beneath the façade, and agreed. "Aah, we'll go with you Sano, that we will."
Kaoru smiled brightly as she and Yahiko exchanged excited glances.
It's not like I had anything else planned, Kenshin told himself.
**** ******** ********* ********* ********** ******** *********
In the streets, he could hear the people still having their fun as the festival continued. Shortly after midnight, Yahiko began to feel ill so they all returned to the Kamiya dojo. Kaoru's chiding voice echoed off the hallway and Kenshin guessed she was mentioning all the sweets he'd had that had given him the upset stomach.
The breeze blew strongly, a subtle warning that autumn was approaching and that the winter would be a cold one this year. Glancing up at the nearly round moon that filled the backyard with white light, he heard gentle footsteps approaching.
My Kaoru . . .
A moment later, she seated herself beside him, resting her head slightly on his strong, muscular shoulder. Breathing in softly, his comforting smell enveloped her.
"Kenshin," she spoke in an almost whisper, "What's wrong?"
He turned to look down at her, resting against him comfortably. Her long hair had been freed from its high pony-tail earlier in the night and he knew that if he were to touch the shinny strands, they would be a soft as the finest silk. Kaoru's eyes were wide and worried as she watched the man she loved look over her face slowly.
"Why would something be wrong?" he returned.
He almost chuckled at the frown that appeared on her delicious lips.
"You've been acting so different, so quiet lately. You seem like something is bothering you."
"Kaoru-dono," he said, bending to place a delicate kiss on her forehead. "Sessha has just been thinking, that he has."
"What are you thinking about?"
Kenshin was silent long moments, looking into the deep blue depths of her beautiful eyes.
*How do I start? *
*How can I explain to you the burden of my existence?*
*How do I make you understand the killer I was without tainting you?*
*Could I tell you and risk the loss of your precious innocence?*
*Would you forgive me for all those who cannot?*
*Or am I doomed to forever seek that forgiveness in other people?*
*I know you care for me, and it is your smile that gives me strength. Your love that sustains me. But I can't forget the dead I've left behind.*
*And Enishi was enough to remind me that I can't go around taking what I have for granted.*
*But I can't tell you those things you ask me. I can't explain the emptiness, the misery, the years of regret and remorse that you won't ever have to experience. It's your existence, your very innocence that reminds me what I fought for. I won't burden you with the pain in this man's heart. I won't subject you to the life I've lived.*
*You aren't Tomoe, Kaoru. You never will be. The things we shared during the Revolution, they can't ever be yours.*
*But that is only one reason why I love you. I don't have to be that man anymore to be in your life. I don't have to return to you with blood on my hands, with the ever-present fear that our side will be wiped out and we branded as traitors. Together, we can make our own future . . . and although the thought of this unworthy one being so close to your warmth and brightness makes me worry, I know that you could no more suffer our separation than I could right now.*
*I want to return home to you forever, Kaoru. Forever and even longer, if you'd allow it. *
*I don't want Tomoe's death to be in vain.*
*She knew then that there was a reason why I was supposed to live. Why I could not kill. I think she knew what would happen. These scars on my face are her reminder to make life matter, to make life count for something. To accomplish something better than destruction.*
*Megumi, Sanosuke, Yahiko, Ayame and Suzume, and you. . . . Your lives have all made me want to fight for the ones I love. *
*You all are the reasons why I still am able to care.*
"Kenshin?" Kaoru repeated when he still hadn't answered her.
He blinked a few times and smiled timidly.
"Sessha is glad he is here, that he is."
"I'm glad you're here, too, Kenshin." Her eyes sparkled as the sounds of the outside world faded into the background.
She put her head back on his shoulder, satisfied with his response. Kenshin watched her with loving eyes as her small frame settled against him again. His hand reached out and cupped her chin, pulling her face close to his.
*I would do anything to keep you safe, Kaoru. Nothing will ever take you away from me again. I promise,* he told her silently as he closed the distance between their lips.
***** ******** ******* *********** *********** *************** ******
That's pretty much it for the first chapter. It's sort of just a way to get the ball going and to understand the state of mind Kenshin is in. AND in case you didn't figure it out, this takes place after he's already told Kaoru he wants to be with her (and they have their first kiss ( )
----Maeve
PS--- If you want a fluffy, waffy fic read something else !!!!
Sinking
Kenshin looked across the table at the Akabeko toward the raven- haired girl fighting with Yahiko over the last piece of fish. She glared angrily at the younger boy, demanding what was hers. Kaoru didn't notice his watchful gaze from under heavy red bangs, waiting to see the different expressions cross her lovely features, thinking deep thoughts. Her smile had the power to lift up things inside of him that he had tried for years to ignore. When she smiled at him, he always felt that he'd been given the forgiveness he needed.
*Maybe not forgiveness for Tomoe's death but at least Enishi will live and move on. He'll no longer let the pain that consumed even me dictate what he does with his life. It's not too late for him to start over . . .*
He smiled with reassurance as Kaoru paused in her argument to give him a puzzled look, finally noticing the object of his observations.
*Maybe I'll get a second chance too . . . *
"Kenshin?" Kaoru questioned gently.
Sanosuke looked up from the bone hanging out of the side of his mouth to see why Kaoru sounded concerned.
Kenshin's sincere but disclosed expression gave Sano the feeling that the red-head was remembering Enishi's recent madness. It had only been a short time since they'd returned from his island and lately Kenshin had had that far-away look.
"Oi, Kenshin," Sano interrupted, drawing the older man's attention. Lavender eyes met brown, the depths of which allowed him to understand things more clearly than if his friend had spoken aloud. They hadn't known one another for very long but Sanosuke knew his close friend fairly well. Kenshin had a bad habit of leaving him behind when it came to a good brawl but Sano understood things about the ex-hitokiri that even he, himself, didn't yet realize.
"The fox lady and I are taking Ayame and Suzume to the festival tonight."
"That's right!" Yahiko chimed in. "Are we going? Huh, Kenshin?"
"Kenshin, come on. It'll be fun," added Kaoru.
Kenshin continued to smile, his true thoughts buried beneath the façade, and agreed. "Aah, we'll go with you Sano, that we will."
Kaoru smiled brightly as she and Yahiko exchanged excited glances.
It's not like I had anything else planned, Kenshin told himself.
**** ******** ********* ********* ********** ******** *********
In the streets, he could hear the people still having their fun as the festival continued. Shortly after midnight, Yahiko began to feel ill so they all returned to the Kamiya dojo. Kaoru's chiding voice echoed off the hallway and Kenshin guessed she was mentioning all the sweets he'd had that had given him the upset stomach.
The breeze blew strongly, a subtle warning that autumn was approaching and that the winter would be a cold one this year. Glancing up at the nearly round moon that filled the backyard with white light, he heard gentle footsteps approaching.
My Kaoru . . .
A moment later, she seated herself beside him, resting her head slightly on his strong, muscular shoulder. Breathing in softly, his comforting smell enveloped her.
"Kenshin," she spoke in an almost whisper, "What's wrong?"
He turned to look down at her, resting against him comfortably. Her long hair had been freed from its high pony-tail earlier in the night and he knew that if he were to touch the shinny strands, they would be a soft as the finest silk. Kaoru's eyes were wide and worried as she watched the man she loved look over her face slowly.
"Why would something be wrong?" he returned.
He almost chuckled at the frown that appeared on her delicious lips.
"You've been acting so different, so quiet lately. You seem like something is bothering you."
"Kaoru-dono," he said, bending to place a delicate kiss on her forehead. "Sessha has just been thinking, that he has."
"What are you thinking about?"
Kenshin was silent long moments, looking into the deep blue depths of her beautiful eyes.
*How do I start? *
*How can I explain to you the burden of my existence?*
*How do I make you understand the killer I was without tainting you?*
*Could I tell you and risk the loss of your precious innocence?*
*Would you forgive me for all those who cannot?*
*Or am I doomed to forever seek that forgiveness in other people?*
*I know you care for me, and it is your smile that gives me strength. Your love that sustains me. But I can't forget the dead I've left behind.*
*And Enishi was enough to remind me that I can't go around taking what I have for granted.*
*But I can't tell you those things you ask me. I can't explain the emptiness, the misery, the years of regret and remorse that you won't ever have to experience. It's your existence, your very innocence that reminds me what I fought for. I won't burden you with the pain in this man's heart. I won't subject you to the life I've lived.*
*You aren't Tomoe, Kaoru. You never will be. The things we shared during the Revolution, they can't ever be yours.*
*But that is only one reason why I love you. I don't have to be that man anymore to be in your life. I don't have to return to you with blood on my hands, with the ever-present fear that our side will be wiped out and we branded as traitors. Together, we can make our own future . . . and although the thought of this unworthy one being so close to your warmth and brightness makes me worry, I know that you could no more suffer our separation than I could right now.*
*I want to return home to you forever, Kaoru. Forever and even longer, if you'd allow it. *
*I don't want Tomoe's death to be in vain.*
*She knew then that there was a reason why I was supposed to live. Why I could not kill. I think she knew what would happen. These scars on my face are her reminder to make life matter, to make life count for something. To accomplish something better than destruction.*
*Megumi, Sanosuke, Yahiko, Ayame and Suzume, and you. . . . Your lives have all made me want to fight for the ones I love. *
*You all are the reasons why I still am able to care.*
"Kenshin?" Kaoru repeated when he still hadn't answered her.
He blinked a few times and smiled timidly.
"Sessha is glad he is here, that he is."
"I'm glad you're here, too, Kenshin." Her eyes sparkled as the sounds of the outside world faded into the background.
She put her head back on his shoulder, satisfied with his response. Kenshin watched her with loving eyes as her small frame settled against him again. His hand reached out and cupped her chin, pulling her face close to his.
*I would do anything to keep you safe, Kaoru. Nothing will ever take you away from me again. I promise,* he told her silently as he closed the distance between their lips.
***** ******** ******* *********** *********** *************** ******
That's pretty much it for the first chapter. It's sort of just a way to get the ball going and to understand the state of mind Kenshin is in. AND in case you didn't figure it out, this takes place after he's already told Kaoru he wants to be with her (and they have their first kiss ( )
----Maeve