Ranma Freaked Out
05-01-01 Update 10-24-02
By Madcat08
Sound [Clarification] {Author's Note}
Ranma 1/2 is owned by other people and I will earn no profit from their creation. Freakazoid is owned by Steven Speilburg (all hail his grandeur). I will earn nothing off his creation.
You unlock the key of stupidity. Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension not only of sight and sound but also of insanity. There is a fifth dimension beyond that which Is known to man and owned by Steven Speilburg. It is a dimension as vast as space and timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between something and something else, between anime and the internet, and it lies between Furinken High School and the Cat Cafe. You're about to enter into a land held together with lots and lots of duck tape. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of yellow danger tape. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone !!
Chapter 2:
Announcer: And now for the rest of the story.
"Where is Ranma," Nabiki thought to herself as she stared out of the second story window? "Akane showed up five minutes ago and looking a bit flustered. Forty percent chance of Ranma saying something stupid and a fifty percent chance of another fiancée showing up this morning. And a ten percent chance of something completely unexpected has occurred."
She watched as a blue streak of lighting stopped in the schoolyard. "Now cue the idiot," she thought to herself as she watched Kuno challenge the blue stranger. She turned to her cronies, "get a picture. We can sell the negative to Kuno later."
Super Wedgee!
"That's gotta hurt. But where is Ranma," she asked herself? "And what odds should I give a fight between the weirdo and Ranma," she thought to herself as she sat down at her desk.
Later at lunch.
"I finally get a chance to relax." Ranma said as he opened his bento. His meal was quickly disturbed by a shadow covering his bento. "Oh. Hi Nabs," Ranma said before returning to his meal.
Nabiki glared at him before speaking. "So who is the blue guy," Nabiki asked?
"Why are you asking me," Ranma asked between mouthfuls?
"Because ever strange person, who arrives in Nerima eventually wants to kill you or marry you. So do you know him," she asked again in a frosty tone.
"I'll tell you what I know. If you knock 5000 yen off my tab," Ranma replied finishing his bento.
"I don't think so Ranma," Nabiki replied. "You know I can make your life hell."
"Really," Ranma replied. "I doubt that. My life is already a mess. If you stir up anymore you put your family in danger. Not to mention the property damage to your house."
"Fine Saotome. You had your chance," Nabiki replied as she turned away.
"Oh Nabs." Ranma said behind her. "Here's the 20,000 yen I owe you."
"What," Nabiki asked in shock as she turned around?
"Here," he said handing her a wad of money. "Now I believe my tab is paid in full." The bell interrupted Nabiki's reply. "Pardon me fair lady I must run," he said imitating Kuno before walking off.
Nabiki quickly counted the money and hid it in her purse. "He's hiding something," she thought to herself. She quickly headed back to class only pausing long enough to confer with some of her underlings.
Meanwhile in an abandoned factory complex on the outskirts of Tokyo..
A thin figure dressed in a stained white apron was hunched over a workbench in concentration. "The laughed at me. The fools. We will have our revenge. Oh yes we shall. They shall rue the day they heard the name of Hikaru Gosunkugi Furinken high will feel my fury. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. coughing Hahahahahaha. coughing Damn allegeries."
Fade out to a commercial.
"Hi folks!" Freakazoid says. "Welcome to the Freakazoid challenge. Today we are going to replace Ryouga's normal coffee with some industrial strength prozac. Now lets watch the results."
"Ranma Saotome," Ryouga cries. "Prepare to experience mild discomfort."
"Fascinating isn't it folks," Freakazoid says. "Tune in tomorrow when we replace Kasumi's herbal tea with some Amazon love potion."
Now back to our show.
Meanwhile in a abandoned factory complex.
The skinny figure of Hikaru Gosunkugi stood in a bare concrete room that was dimly lit by a single bare light bulb. In one corner a massive creature sat in the darkness. "It is time to for my revenge. Go my pet. Go retrieve my one true love. And let nothing stand in your way. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. coughing Hahahahahaha. coughing Damn allegories!" The massive creature moved silently in the darkness with light dimly reflected off its massive teeth.
Elsewhere.
Ranma returns to the Tendo and is immediately grabbed by two fathers. "Hi pop. What's up," Ranma inquired?
"Akane's been kidnapped," Genma yelled shacking Ranma.
"So," Ranma asked?
Genma was thrown aside as Soun grabbed him by his collar and yelled at him. "You will save Akane. You must," Soun cried as he threatened to drown the household.
"Fine. Who took her," he asked? The two fathers finally shut up and scratched their heads. "What happened then?"
"My sister was kidnapped by a giant hamster." Nabiki added as she read the evening newspaper.
"A hamster? Well only one person can help us." Ranma said stroking his chin.
"Who," Kasumi asked?
"A rat exterminator," Ranma replied. "And now I'm going to sleep," he said before heading upstairs.
The sounds of intense violence were heard through Nerima before a slightly bruised Ranma landed in the back yard. "And don't come back without her," Genma yelled sliding the door shut. Genma turned back to Soun and asked, "you feel up to a game of Go?"
"Of course Genma," Soun replied.
Later that evening .
Freakazoid is patrolling the rooftops of Nerima, when a tiny green figure lands on the rooftop in front of him. "So we meet again," the tiny figure hisses.
Freakazoid ask as his eyes get incredible large as he looks at the figure. "Its Yoda," the blue man screams before grabbing Happosai in a bone crushing hug. "Aren't you a cute little muppet. Oh. Yes, you are."
Happosai finally breaks free and takes a fighting stance on the other side of the rooftop. "No its me. Happosai. For turning me green I will have my revenge," the ancient Master yells.
"Did I do that," Freakazoid asks rubbing his chin? "Oh. You mean Akane's cooking did that?"
"Shut up and die," Happosai yelled before charging Ranma.
"Sorry, I got to run!" Freakazoid yells before disappearing in a bolt of lighting.
"You can run, but you can't hide," Happosai yelled. A tapping on Happosai's shoulder stopped him in mid rant. Happosai turned around and found three cherubs like figures floating in the air on stubby white wings.
"Excuse me sir, we are the auditors of reality." The three tiny figures said together. "You have been found guilty of using an A-Class cliché phrase. Prepare for punishment."
"What," Happosai manages to say before a large anvil lands on him.
"Now that's settled it's Miller time," one of the cherubs says. Seconds later an anvil hits the cherub.
"Now that he had coming," a second cherub says. The tiny figure quickly covers its mouth and looks up. A third anvil lands on the second cherub.
The third cherub sighs and pulls a garbage bag from sub-space and scraps up his two companions.
Fade to commercial.
Announcer: "Next time on Freakazoid, we will explore the world of young female gangs."
"Is it true, that you young ladies run around at night dressed like a pedophiles wet dream," Freakazoid asks the inner senshi? "Is it also true that you young ladies have often been seem with a strangely dressed man. Is that man your pimp?"
"It's not like that," Rei say jumping to her feet.
"Mamoru is not a pimp," Usagi cries in the background.
"Oh really," Freakazoid replies. "Well your parents back stage think so. And I'm sure they will have some words for you."
"Don't worry we'll get to them later. But first, I have one question. Is it true that the Sailor Senshi, the self-proclaimed defenders of love and justice, are planning on allowing an ice age to destroy the current world? For the express purposes of establishing a so called 'Crystal Tokyo' in the future," Freakazoid asks? A future world ruled by a monarchy with the surviving people of the world brainwashed as mindless drones?"
"That's not true," Usagi said crying. "We only want to create a better world!"
"Really," Freakazoid replies. "I believe Hilter had a similar dream. One that he intended to build on the bodies of his enemies. Are you saying that you different from the most hated man in history? Do you really think your ends justify the means?
"And now lets introduce our first mystery guests," Freakazoid say facing the camera before the Senshi can reply. "All the way from Jubaan is Rei's grandfather!"
A short old man in Shinto robes stormed onto the stage and threw himself into a chair on stage.
"Anything that you would like to tell your daughter," Freakazoid asked?
"In the name of our family's honor, I am going to exercise my granddaughter of the evil that must be possessing her." The short priest replied angrily staring at his granddaughter.
"How do you plan to do that," Freakazoid asks?
"With this," the old man replied as he pulled an object from his robes. "Prepare to face the School of Hard Knocks exercorism method." With that the old man jumps out of his chair and charges his granddaughter with a baseball bat covered in wards.
"Now Usagi," Freakazoid continued ignoring the tiny man chasing his granddaughter off the stage. "We have your parents!'
"Your grounded until your thirty," Usagi's father yelled as he walked on stage. "No daughter of mine is going to be a whore or a dictator. And how could you lie to your family about those late study groups. You were probably running around the streets of Tokyo with your pimp.
"Daughter how could you," her mother cried as she came on stage. "Not only is my daughter planning on letting most of the world die, she also is whoring herself on the streets of Tokyo! How could she embarrass her family this way," Usagi's mother continued wailing.
Announcer: "That's next time on Freakazoid."
Elsewhere.
"My precious Akane, I hope my pet didn't disturb you?" Hikaru Gosunkugi inquired. As he finished tying a series of knots in the ropes binding Akane to a wooden chair.
"Who are you," Akane asked her captor?
"You don't remember me," Gosunkugi stated.
"No, I can't say I do." Akane answered in a bored tone. "So what type of martial arts do you pratice?"
"Um. Actually none," Gosunkugi replied scratching his head. "But it dosen't matter. You soon will love me," Hikaru declared!
"Right. I think there is something you should know," Akane replied calmly.
"What's that," Gos inquired?
Snap
"I'm strong enough to break some stupid ropes," Akane said as she broke free.
"Is it too late to say I'm sorry?"
"Yes," Akane replied cracking her knuckles.
Snap
Crackle
Pop
"Now if you ever try to kidnap me again. I'll really lose my temper." Akane said to Gos.
"It will not happen again," the pretzel formerly known as Gos replied. "Also I don't like rats," she screamed before malleting the giant hamster. In the background a shadow can be seen approaching the dirty plate glass window making up the rear wall of the room.
Crash
"Don't worry! I'll save you," Freakazoid declares jumping through the window. He runs across the room and grabs the chair. "How dare you treat an antique like this! Don't worry little fellow, I'll get you to a doctor in time!" With that Freakazoid runs out of the room with the chair.
Several seconds later Ranma enters the room holding a paper bag. "Hey Akane. Who was that blue man?" Ranma asks before pulling a hamburger from a paper bag.
"Who care. He's probably some member of the Kuno family," Akane replied. "Where did you get that," Akane screams pointing at the hamburger?
"I found a great hamburger joint in Jubaan."
"I was kidnapped and you stopped for a hamburger!" Akane declared as she pulled a hammer from hammer-space.
Thud
"Jerk," Akane says walking away leaving Ranma under a mallet.
Squeek
"I hear you buddy." Ranma replies to the large hamster.
Elsewhere..
"Ladies and gentlemen tomorrow we will implement our plan called 'Living Hell'." Nabiki said addressing several unseen people. In the background a picture of Ranma Saotome was visible among several diagrams.
Announcer: Be sure to read the next exciting chapter. Ranma will get a sidekick, gain a new villian, and face the wrath of Nabiki Tendo.
Sound [Clarification] {Author's Note}
Ranma 1/2 is owned by other people and I will earn no profit from their creation. Freakazoid is owned by Steven Speilburg (all hail his grandeur). I will earn nothing off his creation.
You unlock the key of stupidity. Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension not only of sight and sound but also of insanity. There is a fifth dimension beyond that which Is known to man and owned by Steven Speilburg. It is a dimension as vast as space and timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between something and something else, between anime and the internet, and it lies between Furinken High School and the Cat Cafe. You're about to enter into a land held together with lots and lots of duck tape. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of yellow danger tape. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone !!
Chapter 2:
Announcer: And now for the rest of the story.
"Where is Ranma," Nabiki thought to herself as she stared out of the second story window? "Akane showed up five minutes ago and looking a bit flustered. Forty percent chance of Ranma saying something stupid and a fifty percent chance of another fiancée showing up this morning. And a ten percent chance of something completely unexpected has occurred."
She watched as a blue streak of lighting stopped in the schoolyard. "Now cue the idiot," she thought to herself as she watched Kuno challenge the blue stranger. She turned to her cronies, "get a picture. We can sell the negative to Kuno later."
Super Wedgee!
"That's gotta hurt. But where is Ranma," she asked herself? "And what odds should I give a fight between the weirdo and Ranma," she thought to herself as she sat down at her desk.
Later at lunch.
"I finally get a chance to relax." Ranma said as he opened his bento. His meal was quickly disturbed by a shadow covering his bento. "Oh. Hi Nabs," Ranma said before returning to his meal.
Nabiki glared at him before speaking. "So who is the blue guy," Nabiki asked?
"Why are you asking me," Ranma asked between mouthfuls?
"Because ever strange person, who arrives in Nerima eventually wants to kill you or marry you. So do you know him," she asked again in a frosty tone.
"I'll tell you what I know. If you knock 5000 yen off my tab," Ranma replied finishing his bento.
"I don't think so Ranma," Nabiki replied. "You know I can make your life hell."
"Really," Ranma replied. "I doubt that. My life is already a mess. If you stir up anymore you put your family in danger. Not to mention the property damage to your house."
"Fine Saotome. You had your chance," Nabiki replied as she turned away.
"Oh Nabs." Ranma said behind her. "Here's the 20,000 yen I owe you."
"What," Nabiki asked in shock as she turned around?
"Here," he said handing her a wad of money. "Now I believe my tab is paid in full." The bell interrupted Nabiki's reply. "Pardon me fair lady I must run," he said imitating Kuno before walking off.
Nabiki quickly counted the money and hid it in her purse. "He's hiding something," she thought to herself. She quickly headed back to class only pausing long enough to confer with some of her underlings.
Meanwhile in an abandoned factory complex on the outskirts of Tokyo..
A thin figure dressed in a stained white apron was hunched over a workbench in concentration. "The laughed at me. The fools. We will have our revenge. Oh yes we shall. They shall rue the day they heard the name of Hikaru Gosunkugi Furinken high will feel my fury. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. coughing Hahahahahaha. coughing Damn allegeries."
Fade out to a commercial.
"Hi folks!" Freakazoid says. "Welcome to the Freakazoid challenge. Today we are going to replace Ryouga's normal coffee with some industrial strength prozac. Now lets watch the results."
"Ranma Saotome," Ryouga cries. "Prepare to experience mild discomfort."
"Fascinating isn't it folks," Freakazoid says. "Tune in tomorrow when we replace Kasumi's herbal tea with some Amazon love potion."
Now back to our show.
Meanwhile in a abandoned factory complex.
The skinny figure of Hikaru Gosunkugi stood in a bare concrete room that was dimly lit by a single bare light bulb. In one corner a massive creature sat in the darkness. "It is time to for my revenge. Go my pet. Go retrieve my one true love. And let nothing stand in your way. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. coughing Hahahahahaha. coughing Damn allegories!" The massive creature moved silently in the darkness with light dimly reflected off its massive teeth.
Elsewhere.
Ranma returns to the Tendo and is immediately grabbed by two fathers. "Hi pop. What's up," Ranma inquired?
"Akane's been kidnapped," Genma yelled shacking Ranma.
"So," Ranma asked?
Genma was thrown aside as Soun grabbed him by his collar and yelled at him. "You will save Akane. You must," Soun cried as he threatened to drown the household.
"Fine. Who took her," he asked? The two fathers finally shut up and scratched their heads. "What happened then?"
"My sister was kidnapped by a giant hamster." Nabiki added as she read the evening newspaper.
"A hamster? Well only one person can help us." Ranma said stroking his chin.
"Who," Kasumi asked?
"A rat exterminator," Ranma replied. "And now I'm going to sleep," he said before heading upstairs.
The sounds of intense violence were heard through Nerima before a slightly bruised Ranma landed in the back yard. "And don't come back without her," Genma yelled sliding the door shut. Genma turned back to Soun and asked, "you feel up to a game of Go?"
"Of course Genma," Soun replied.
Later that evening .
Freakazoid is patrolling the rooftops of Nerima, when a tiny green figure lands on the rooftop in front of him. "So we meet again," the tiny figure hisses.
Freakazoid ask as his eyes get incredible large as he looks at the figure. "Its Yoda," the blue man screams before grabbing Happosai in a bone crushing hug. "Aren't you a cute little muppet. Oh. Yes, you are."
Happosai finally breaks free and takes a fighting stance on the other side of the rooftop. "No its me. Happosai. For turning me green I will have my revenge," the ancient Master yells.
"Did I do that," Freakazoid asks rubbing his chin? "Oh. You mean Akane's cooking did that?"
"Shut up and die," Happosai yelled before charging Ranma.
"Sorry, I got to run!" Freakazoid yells before disappearing in a bolt of lighting.
"You can run, but you can't hide," Happosai yelled. A tapping on Happosai's shoulder stopped him in mid rant. Happosai turned around and found three cherubs like figures floating in the air on stubby white wings.
"Excuse me sir, we are the auditors of reality." The three tiny figures said together. "You have been found guilty of using an A-Class cliché phrase. Prepare for punishment."
"What," Happosai manages to say before a large anvil lands on him.
"Now that's settled it's Miller time," one of the cherubs says. Seconds later an anvil hits the cherub.
"Now that he had coming," a second cherub says. The tiny figure quickly covers its mouth and looks up. A third anvil lands on the second cherub.
The third cherub sighs and pulls a garbage bag from sub-space and scraps up his two companions.
Fade to commercial.
Announcer: "Next time on Freakazoid, we will explore the world of young female gangs."
"Is it true, that you young ladies run around at night dressed like a pedophiles wet dream," Freakazoid asks the inner senshi? "Is it also true that you young ladies have often been seem with a strangely dressed man. Is that man your pimp?"
"It's not like that," Rei say jumping to her feet.
"Mamoru is not a pimp," Usagi cries in the background.
"Oh really," Freakazoid replies. "Well your parents back stage think so. And I'm sure they will have some words for you."
"Don't worry we'll get to them later. But first, I have one question. Is it true that the Sailor Senshi, the self-proclaimed defenders of love and justice, are planning on allowing an ice age to destroy the current world? For the express purposes of establishing a so called 'Crystal Tokyo' in the future," Freakazoid asks? A future world ruled by a monarchy with the surviving people of the world brainwashed as mindless drones?"
"That's not true," Usagi said crying. "We only want to create a better world!"
"Really," Freakazoid replies. "I believe Hilter had a similar dream. One that he intended to build on the bodies of his enemies. Are you saying that you different from the most hated man in history? Do you really think your ends justify the means?
"And now lets introduce our first mystery guests," Freakazoid say facing the camera before the Senshi can reply. "All the way from Jubaan is Rei's grandfather!"
A short old man in Shinto robes stormed onto the stage and threw himself into a chair on stage.
"Anything that you would like to tell your daughter," Freakazoid asked?
"In the name of our family's honor, I am going to exercise my granddaughter of the evil that must be possessing her." The short priest replied angrily staring at his granddaughter.
"How do you plan to do that," Freakazoid asks?
"With this," the old man replied as he pulled an object from his robes. "Prepare to face the School of Hard Knocks exercorism method." With that the old man jumps out of his chair and charges his granddaughter with a baseball bat covered in wards.
"Now Usagi," Freakazoid continued ignoring the tiny man chasing his granddaughter off the stage. "We have your parents!'
"Your grounded until your thirty," Usagi's father yelled as he walked on stage. "No daughter of mine is going to be a whore or a dictator. And how could you lie to your family about those late study groups. You were probably running around the streets of Tokyo with your pimp.
"Daughter how could you," her mother cried as she came on stage. "Not only is my daughter planning on letting most of the world die, she also is whoring herself on the streets of Tokyo! How could she embarrass her family this way," Usagi's mother continued wailing.
Announcer: "That's next time on Freakazoid."
Elsewhere.
"My precious Akane, I hope my pet didn't disturb you?" Hikaru Gosunkugi inquired. As he finished tying a series of knots in the ropes binding Akane to a wooden chair.
"Who are you," Akane asked her captor?
"You don't remember me," Gosunkugi stated.
"No, I can't say I do." Akane answered in a bored tone. "So what type of martial arts do you pratice?"
"Um. Actually none," Gosunkugi replied scratching his head. "But it dosen't matter. You soon will love me," Hikaru declared!
"Right. I think there is something you should know," Akane replied calmly.
"What's that," Gos inquired?
Snap
"I'm strong enough to break some stupid ropes," Akane said as she broke free.
"Is it too late to say I'm sorry?"
"Yes," Akane replied cracking her knuckles.
Snap
Crackle
Pop
"Now if you ever try to kidnap me again. I'll really lose my temper." Akane said to Gos.
"It will not happen again," the pretzel formerly known as Gos replied. "Also I don't like rats," she screamed before malleting the giant hamster. In the background a shadow can be seen approaching the dirty plate glass window making up the rear wall of the room.
Crash
"Don't worry! I'll save you," Freakazoid declares jumping through the window. He runs across the room and grabs the chair. "How dare you treat an antique like this! Don't worry little fellow, I'll get you to a doctor in time!" With that Freakazoid runs out of the room with the chair.
Several seconds later Ranma enters the room holding a paper bag. "Hey Akane. Who was that blue man?" Ranma asks before pulling a hamburger from a paper bag.
"Who care. He's probably some member of the Kuno family," Akane replied. "Where did you get that," Akane screams pointing at the hamburger?
"I found a great hamburger joint in Jubaan."
"I was kidnapped and you stopped for a hamburger!" Akane declared as she pulled a hammer from hammer-space.
Thud
"Jerk," Akane says walking away leaving Ranma under a mallet.
Squeek
"I hear you buddy." Ranma replies to the large hamster.
Elsewhere..
"Ladies and gentlemen tomorrow we will implement our plan called 'Living Hell'." Nabiki said addressing several unseen people. In the background a picture of Ranma Saotome was visible among several diagrams.
Announcer: Be sure to read the next exciting chapter. Ranma will get a sidekick, gain a new villian, and face the wrath of Nabiki Tendo.