Chapter Three
Crying Wolf
an: again unbeta'd...i'm so mean and lazy.
He'd left her in his room, sleeping on his bed, and found himself residing on the couch.
The first beams of sunlight were peaking through the curtains when he woke to hear strangled sobs coming from his room, broken by violent gagging, and a sound that could only mean one thing.
Leaving his spot on the couch he hurried into his room to find her sobbing, kneeling on his bed, her head over the edge as the bitter noise was broken again and again as she vomitted onto the hard wood floor.
Grabbing a bucket he kept next to the bed for trash, he handed it to her between cycles, then hurried around to the otherside of the bed where he slid behind her. Wrapping one arm around her waist as he held her hair back with his other hand. Murmuring nonsense into her ear as the sobs tore through her, bringing everything out with them.
After twenty or so minutes her cries turned into soft murmurs and her stomach settled. He slipped out from behind her and came around to take the bucket from her while noting that her dress hadn't been spared. Sitting on the bed next to her he set the bucket on the ground near his feet and grabbed a tissue from the table beside his bed, using it to wipe gently at her mouth.
She took the tissue from him and for a moment sat completely still and silent.
"I'm sorry about the mess." she finally mumbled, looking down at her dress.
He lifted her chin with his fingers, her skin scorching him with it's forbidden softness.
"Hey. I'm only suprised it didn't happen earlier. You've been through a lot tonight. More then anyone should have to go through...." he paused, contimplating what would happen if he drew her into the protective embrace his arms ached for.
She only nodded and shifted uneasily. Wondering what she would do now that she was stuck here. Vaughn wouldn't let her walk out the door looking like she did...he probably wouldn't let her out even if she didn't look like hell. And now that she had nothing to wear but a dress that reeked of bile... She sighed.
He took the cue and continued. Grabbing the bucket by his feet he left the room, sparking curiousity in Sydney. She wondered if he intended for her to follow.
Deciding he would have said something if he did, she sat and waited, taking in his room for the first time.
It was clean and sharp. His bed, mission style, was blanketed in black cotton while the frame stood out with a rich mahogoney glow. Being careful to avoid the mess she made on the floor, Syd slid out of the bed, running her fingers over the matching mahogoney night table as her feet hit the cool hardwood surface.
She padded barefoot, over to a low bureau, it's cedar scent spicing the air. She smiled as she took in the almost empty surface. His CIA idetification, her fingers traced lazily over his picture as she paused momentarily, lingering over it. A jar of loose change. A few crumpled bills. Car keys. Manila folders she was sure held information on some trip or another.
Sighing she pushed away from the dresser and headed toward the only window his room held. Ivory curtains contrasted againsted the black of the blinds. Vertical slits of light spilled into the room as her fingers pulled the blinds apart to peer out. His window had an excellent veiw of an alley, complete with dumpster.
"Didn't pick this place for the veiw." she jumped as his voice broke the silence. Turning she saw him standing in the door holding what appeared to be clothing.
"The bathroom is through there." he pointed at a partially open door on the other side of the room. Then crossed the distance to place the pile in her hands gently. She nodded then slid silently into the other room closing the door behind her.
Vaughn didn't move until light spilled out from under the door.
As he waited for her to return, he quickly removed the evidence of her shock and pain, wondering what she had thought of his room.
Amazingly enough she had missed the bed entirely. He wondered if he should change the sheets anyway.
Her reappearance however ended the question.
"I... the dress is soaking in the sink." she hoped he wouldn't mind. She didn't know what else to do with it. Not quite able to throw it away, but not sure if she should save it. She wasn't sure she wanted to think about it anymore.
Instead she opted for her current attire. Wondering where he had gotten the grey drawstring pants, that were only a little to loose. The King's t- shirt was too small for him, even though it hung from her sharp frame.
Choosing to find a topic of conversation that wouldn't result in tears, she climbed back onto the bed, crossing her legs and pushing her hair behind one ear, catching her bottom lip with her teeth, as her fingers played with the hem of one pant leg.
"I wasn't sure if they would fit you or not." he broke the awkward silence. She furrowed her brows as she caught his gaze. Her mind refusing to cut through the haze that trapped it. If what would fit?
"The clothes." he offered, unsure if he should sit next to her or leave her entirely. She scooted over on the bed making room for him, indicating silently that he should sit. He gladly obliged her.
"They're my sister's." he added bluntly. Answering her unvoiced questions. Or the questions he thought she'd have asked. He'd never felt so unsure around her before. Never felt like he was tripping over his tongue and making a complete fool of himself. He wished she would speak. She had yet to do that since she'd woken up. And her silence scared him.
Pushing her hair behind her ear again she ended his torment. "I didn't know you had a sister."
"Madeline. We call her Maddy though. She's two years older then me. And shares my passion for the Kings." he tried for a smile as he tugged at the hem of her shirt. She rewarded him weakly and when he went to pull his hand away she grabbed it and tugged on it gently. Guiding his arm around her and leading them both back to the head board. She rested gently on his shoulder as he rested against the board.
"Does she live with you?" Sydney asked quietly grabbing his other hand and placing it on the hip farthest from him, encasing herself in his arms. Needing to feel him close, to anchor herself in reality.
"She did for about two months. She was having problems with her partner so I let her stay for awhile. She hasn't gotten all of her stuff out yet." he explained. Wanting to squeeze her closer, not believing she was really there, in his bed, in his arms. Needing some kind of assurance that this was real.
"I take it she and her boyfriend patched things up." she felt his chuckle and was suprised at the warmth it caused in her.
"Not quite." he shifted next to her. "But she did move back in with her girlfriend if that's what you wanted to know." She couldn't help the look of suprise as she turned to him to see if he was playing with her.
He chuckled again.
"I'm sorry... I just never. It didn't occur to me... I mean I guess I." She stuttered and flipped her hair behind her ear.
"You thought that with a dad deeply rooted in protecting this country. Patriotic to a fault. And a mother who hates the fact that her son has followed in his father's footsteps because she's afraid she's going to loose him to this country like she did his father. You thought that my parents would be anything but accepting of her choice." he smiled.
"My father never knew, if he had your right. He probably wouldn't have smiled. My mother had a hard enough time accepting it. Old fashioned..." he mused. "That's what Maddy likes to call it. She's always been the trouble maker in the family." he grinned.
"I find that hard to believe." she managed a smile.
"Never having a brother I thought I was safe from fighting over girls with my siblings." he joked. "I didn't realize until she told us, that she'd been the reason for more then one of my high school romances demise."
Sydney snuggled deeper into his arms. Feeling safe for the first time in too long. She let his warm voice roll over her as her eyelids grew heavy.
"She must be gorgeous then." her tongue softly betraying her. She was too tired and worn to care how he interpreted it. Maybe he'd get it right. Maybe he'd brush it off. Either way she'd be gone in a few days anyway. With a new identity and a new life. She'd most likely never see him again after that.
Vaughn let himself selfishly pull her closer. Hoping that he understood her. Wishing she were truely his.
"Much better looking then me. Thats for sure." he tested. His voice not jesting to match his words, but completely serious.
She only murmured something as she relaxed further in his arms. Neither confirming or denying his suspicions.
She was asleep before he could ask anymore of her. Which was probably the best thing for everyone involved.
-------------------------------
The sharp shrill of his phone woke him.
Quickly grabbing it off the hook so it wouldn't ring again and disturb Sydney he held it off the hook as he took in their shifted positions. She was using him as a pillow. Her soft brown strands spread across his chest, her hand resting next to her mouth, lips parted slightly.
Her eyes remained closed and her breathing pattern constant and relaxed. The urge to hang up the phone and kiss her inviting lips was ever present. The mumbled sounds coming from the phone stopped him however as he brushed a strand of hair from her face.
"What?" he whispered fiercely, not happy to be intrupted.
"Where are you? It's almost noon. Devlin's been breathing down my neck and you didn't answer your cell. Sydney's missing. And I have a bad feeling that you are about to complicate things." Weiss demanded.
Vaughn could almost hear his friend's grimace.
"I'm handling it ok."
"That's what I'm afraid of. Tell me you know where Jack is. No one has been able to reach him either."
"Don't worry about it Weiss. I'm sure he'll turn up. Look I'll be in later. Just drop it ok."
"Your working on something with him aren't you?"
"Yes Weiss...that's it. You've figured me out. Jack and I are busy searching LA for Sydney. That's why you caught me at home. We stopped by my place for something to eat before we head out again. Just drop it." Vaughn grumbled before hanging up the phone.
"While your getting my dad something to eat...do you think I could get something too?" Sydney giggled beside him.
He turned to look at her open eyes and smiled back. "How long have you been listening?"
Sydney wondered if she should tell him the truth, that the phone woke her up, that she'd pretended to be asleep for his caress.
"Long enough to know you're feeding my father." she joked instead. He rolled his eyes and moved to leave her but something in her wouldn't let him go and she pulled him back to her.
"Not yet." he nodded and tightened his grip.
They sat in silence. Neither moving. Both refusing to do as much as think. Stealing comfort from flesh on flesh. Lying to themselves about the moment.
The one that would never have to end if they didn't speak. The reality of the situation, never having to decend to wrench away any form of joy they could steal from a world that seemed destine to ruin them both. A world that seemed to revel in the taking off. That mocked any sort of comfort they could find.
Lies.
Sydney tried to brush off the feeling that it was only a big lie, this sitting together. Being in his arms, that not suprisingly seemed to fit her just right. That this too would come to an end. That any feelings resulting from his tight grip were nothing but an illusion. Meant only to cause her more pain when he let go.
Vaughn only tightened his arms. Hoping that they had the impossible power of keeping her there.
Their world...small...no bigger then the bed.
Protected only by the web of lies they'd create to find some moment of peace...
Was not impeneratrable.
Was not perfect...it lacked everything they both seemed to need more then air...
Honesty.
And when she slipped from his arms and he rose from the bed without a word. Their small world ceased to be...as if it never was.
He grabbed some clothes and slipped into his bathroom.
She pulled her knees to her chest, hugging them as tightly as she could. Listening to the shower. Random droplets screaming through the air, landing only to splash apart on the slick tile, or the hard and near perfect body that used them.
Everything had it's purpose.
Some things were just used more sorely then others. Used until they were streched so thin they wore through. Sydney wondered what would happen now that she had nothing more to give.
Would she splash like the water on the slick tile under Vaughn's feet?
Be able to run together again as she tumbled down the drain.
Or was she more like the crystal vase her that sat on her father's mantle? The one he'd had forever. Only to be shattered by one of Sloane's bullets as it screamed through her life and tore everything else apart.
Unrepairable.
Resting her chin on her knees, she listened as the water in the bathroom stopped. And let herself foolishly imagine what it would be like to stay here with him forever. To run away with him. Live in some remote area where she could pull him back into the shower with her. Let the warm drops turn cold as they ran down their bodies, oblivious to the chill, only aware of the heat.
Sydney closed her eyes and let the lies filter through her mind. The nice comforting lies. She was too good at creating them. Too good at making herself believe them.
The bathroom door opened and she watched him get ready. Pull on his holster...the one his suit jacket hid... God he'd always looked good in that. Swallowing, she pushed the thought from her mind. He picked up his badge and she shivered involentarily at the reminder.
It was that badge that had killed Francie and Will. Her carelessness while following what that badge stood for. And it was only foolishness to believe that Vaughn would give up that to run away with her. Folly to even wish it.
When he left it was without a word.
Nothing to tie her to him. Nothing to keep her here.
But she couldn't desert him.
Not when she needed the lies.
an: again unbeta'd...i'm so mean and lazy.
He'd left her in his room, sleeping on his bed, and found himself residing on the couch.
The first beams of sunlight were peaking through the curtains when he woke to hear strangled sobs coming from his room, broken by violent gagging, and a sound that could only mean one thing.
Leaving his spot on the couch he hurried into his room to find her sobbing, kneeling on his bed, her head over the edge as the bitter noise was broken again and again as she vomitted onto the hard wood floor.
Grabbing a bucket he kept next to the bed for trash, he handed it to her between cycles, then hurried around to the otherside of the bed where he slid behind her. Wrapping one arm around her waist as he held her hair back with his other hand. Murmuring nonsense into her ear as the sobs tore through her, bringing everything out with them.
After twenty or so minutes her cries turned into soft murmurs and her stomach settled. He slipped out from behind her and came around to take the bucket from her while noting that her dress hadn't been spared. Sitting on the bed next to her he set the bucket on the ground near his feet and grabbed a tissue from the table beside his bed, using it to wipe gently at her mouth.
She took the tissue from him and for a moment sat completely still and silent.
"I'm sorry about the mess." she finally mumbled, looking down at her dress.
He lifted her chin with his fingers, her skin scorching him with it's forbidden softness.
"Hey. I'm only suprised it didn't happen earlier. You've been through a lot tonight. More then anyone should have to go through...." he paused, contimplating what would happen if he drew her into the protective embrace his arms ached for.
She only nodded and shifted uneasily. Wondering what she would do now that she was stuck here. Vaughn wouldn't let her walk out the door looking like she did...he probably wouldn't let her out even if she didn't look like hell. And now that she had nothing to wear but a dress that reeked of bile... She sighed.
He took the cue and continued. Grabbing the bucket by his feet he left the room, sparking curiousity in Sydney. She wondered if he intended for her to follow.
Deciding he would have said something if he did, she sat and waited, taking in his room for the first time.
It was clean and sharp. His bed, mission style, was blanketed in black cotton while the frame stood out with a rich mahogoney glow. Being careful to avoid the mess she made on the floor, Syd slid out of the bed, running her fingers over the matching mahogoney night table as her feet hit the cool hardwood surface.
She padded barefoot, over to a low bureau, it's cedar scent spicing the air. She smiled as she took in the almost empty surface. His CIA idetification, her fingers traced lazily over his picture as she paused momentarily, lingering over it. A jar of loose change. A few crumpled bills. Car keys. Manila folders she was sure held information on some trip or another.
Sighing she pushed away from the dresser and headed toward the only window his room held. Ivory curtains contrasted againsted the black of the blinds. Vertical slits of light spilled into the room as her fingers pulled the blinds apart to peer out. His window had an excellent veiw of an alley, complete with dumpster.
"Didn't pick this place for the veiw." she jumped as his voice broke the silence. Turning she saw him standing in the door holding what appeared to be clothing.
"The bathroom is through there." he pointed at a partially open door on the other side of the room. Then crossed the distance to place the pile in her hands gently. She nodded then slid silently into the other room closing the door behind her.
Vaughn didn't move until light spilled out from under the door.
As he waited for her to return, he quickly removed the evidence of her shock and pain, wondering what she had thought of his room.
Amazingly enough she had missed the bed entirely. He wondered if he should change the sheets anyway.
Her reappearance however ended the question.
"I... the dress is soaking in the sink." she hoped he wouldn't mind. She didn't know what else to do with it. Not quite able to throw it away, but not sure if she should save it. She wasn't sure she wanted to think about it anymore.
Instead she opted for her current attire. Wondering where he had gotten the grey drawstring pants, that were only a little to loose. The King's t- shirt was too small for him, even though it hung from her sharp frame.
Choosing to find a topic of conversation that wouldn't result in tears, she climbed back onto the bed, crossing her legs and pushing her hair behind one ear, catching her bottom lip with her teeth, as her fingers played with the hem of one pant leg.
"I wasn't sure if they would fit you or not." he broke the awkward silence. She furrowed her brows as she caught his gaze. Her mind refusing to cut through the haze that trapped it. If what would fit?
"The clothes." he offered, unsure if he should sit next to her or leave her entirely. She scooted over on the bed making room for him, indicating silently that he should sit. He gladly obliged her.
"They're my sister's." he added bluntly. Answering her unvoiced questions. Or the questions he thought she'd have asked. He'd never felt so unsure around her before. Never felt like he was tripping over his tongue and making a complete fool of himself. He wished she would speak. She had yet to do that since she'd woken up. And her silence scared him.
Pushing her hair behind her ear again she ended his torment. "I didn't know you had a sister."
"Madeline. We call her Maddy though. She's two years older then me. And shares my passion for the Kings." he tried for a smile as he tugged at the hem of her shirt. She rewarded him weakly and when he went to pull his hand away she grabbed it and tugged on it gently. Guiding his arm around her and leading them both back to the head board. She rested gently on his shoulder as he rested against the board.
"Does she live with you?" Sydney asked quietly grabbing his other hand and placing it on the hip farthest from him, encasing herself in his arms. Needing to feel him close, to anchor herself in reality.
"She did for about two months. She was having problems with her partner so I let her stay for awhile. She hasn't gotten all of her stuff out yet." he explained. Wanting to squeeze her closer, not believing she was really there, in his bed, in his arms. Needing some kind of assurance that this was real.
"I take it she and her boyfriend patched things up." she felt his chuckle and was suprised at the warmth it caused in her.
"Not quite." he shifted next to her. "But she did move back in with her girlfriend if that's what you wanted to know." She couldn't help the look of suprise as she turned to him to see if he was playing with her.
He chuckled again.
"I'm sorry... I just never. It didn't occur to me... I mean I guess I." She stuttered and flipped her hair behind her ear.
"You thought that with a dad deeply rooted in protecting this country. Patriotic to a fault. And a mother who hates the fact that her son has followed in his father's footsteps because she's afraid she's going to loose him to this country like she did his father. You thought that my parents would be anything but accepting of her choice." he smiled.
"My father never knew, if he had your right. He probably wouldn't have smiled. My mother had a hard enough time accepting it. Old fashioned..." he mused. "That's what Maddy likes to call it. She's always been the trouble maker in the family." he grinned.
"I find that hard to believe." she managed a smile.
"Never having a brother I thought I was safe from fighting over girls with my siblings." he joked. "I didn't realize until she told us, that she'd been the reason for more then one of my high school romances demise."
Sydney snuggled deeper into his arms. Feeling safe for the first time in too long. She let his warm voice roll over her as her eyelids grew heavy.
"She must be gorgeous then." her tongue softly betraying her. She was too tired and worn to care how he interpreted it. Maybe he'd get it right. Maybe he'd brush it off. Either way she'd be gone in a few days anyway. With a new identity and a new life. She'd most likely never see him again after that.
Vaughn let himself selfishly pull her closer. Hoping that he understood her. Wishing she were truely his.
"Much better looking then me. Thats for sure." he tested. His voice not jesting to match his words, but completely serious.
She only murmured something as she relaxed further in his arms. Neither confirming or denying his suspicions.
She was asleep before he could ask anymore of her. Which was probably the best thing for everyone involved.
-------------------------------
The sharp shrill of his phone woke him.
Quickly grabbing it off the hook so it wouldn't ring again and disturb Sydney he held it off the hook as he took in their shifted positions. She was using him as a pillow. Her soft brown strands spread across his chest, her hand resting next to her mouth, lips parted slightly.
Her eyes remained closed and her breathing pattern constant and relaxed. The urge to hang up the phone and kiss her inviting lips was ever present. The mumbled sounds coming from the phone stopped him however as he brushed a strand of hair from her face.
"What?" he whispered fiercely, not happy to be intrupted.
"Where are you? It's almost noon. Devlin's been breathing down my neck and you didn't answer your cell. Sydney's missing. And I have a bad feeling that you are about to complicate things." Weiss demanded.
Vaughn could almost hear his friend's grimace.
"I'm handling it ok."
"That's what I'm afraid of. Tell me you know where Jack is. No one has been able to reach him either."
"Don't worry about it Weiss. I'm sure he'll turn up. Look I'll be in later. Just drop it ok."
"Your working on something with him aren't you?"
"Yes Weiss...that's it. You've figured me out. Jack and I are busy searching LA for Sydney. That's why you caught me at home. We stopped by my place for something to eat before we head out again. Just drop it." Vaughn grumbled before hanging up the phone.
"While your getting my dad something to eat...do you think I could get something too?" Sydney giggled beside him.
He turned to look at her open eyes and smiled back. "How long have you been listening?"
Sydney wondered if she should tell him the truth, that the phone woke her up, that she'd pretended to be asleep for his caress.
"Long enough to know you're feeding my father." she joked instead. He rolled his eyes and moved to leave her but something in her wouldn't let him go and she pulled him back to her.
"Not yet." he nodded and tightened his grip.
They sat in silence. Neither moving. Both refusing to do as much as think. Stealing comfort from flesh on flesh. Lying to themselves about the moment.
The one that would never have to end if they didn't speak. The reality of the situation, never having to decend to wrench away any form of joy they could steal from a world that seemed destine to ruin them both. A world that seemed to revel in the taking off. That mocked any sort of comfort they could find.
Lies.
Sydney tried to brush off the feeling that it was only a big lie, this sitting together. Being in his arms, that not suprisingly seemed to fit her just right. That this too would come to an end. That any feelings resulting from his tight grip were nothing but an illusion. Meant only to cause her more pain when he let go.
Vaughn only tightened his arms. Hoping that they had the impossible power of keeping her there.
Their world...small...no bigger then the bed.
Protected only by the web of lies they'd create to find some moment of peace...
Was not impeneratrable.
Was not perfect...it lacked everything they both seemed to need more then air...
Honesty.
And when she slipped from his arms and he rose from the bed without a word. Their small world ceased to be...as if it never was.
He grabbed some clothes and slipped into his bathroom.
She pulled her knees to her chest, hugging them as tightly as she could. Listening to the shower. Random droplets screaming through the air, landing only to splash apart on the slick tile, or the hard and near perfect body that used them.
Everything had it's purpose.
Some things were just used more sorely then others. Used until they were streched so thin they wore through. Sydney wondered what would happen now that she had nothing more to give.
Would she splash like the water on the slick tile under Vaughn's feet?
Be able to run together again as she tumbled down the drain.
Or was she more like the crystal vase her that sat on her father's mantle? The one he'd had forever. Only to be shattered by one of Sloane's bullets as it screamed through her life and tore everything else apart.
Unrepairable.
Resting her chin on her knees, she listened as the water in the bathroom stopped. And let herself foolishly imagine what it would be like to stay here with him forever. To run away with him. Live in some remote area where she could pull him back into the shower with her. Let the warm drops turn cold as they ran down their bodies, oblivious to the chill, only aware of the heat.
Sydney closed her eyes and let the lies filter through her mind. The nice comforting lies. She was too good at creating them. Too good at making herself believe them.
The bathroom door opened and she watched him get ready. Pull on his holster...the one his suit jacket hid... God he'd always looked good in that. Swallowing, she pushed the thought from her mind. He picked up his badge and she shivered involentarily at the reminder.
It was that badge that had killed Francie and Will. Her carelessness while following what that badge stood for. And it was only foolishness to believe that Vaughn would give up that to run away with her. Folly to even wish it.
When he left it was without a word.
Nothing to tie her to him. Nothing to keep her here.
But she couldn't desert him.
Not when she needed the lies.