Capitulo Cuatro
By: Twist
A/n: I'm in a very appropriate mood for this chapter right now. I'd been happily munching away on strawberries and V8Splash and lo, I got a scary mental image. Yes, I did. Picture Lord Vetinari signing 'Feel Like a Woman' in a suit. Hula skirt optional. *evil grin* And dancing, if you really want to. And that, ladies and gents, may explain this next chapter.
Also, I do realize it's a bit disjointed at the end, and the reason is that I left this chapter sit for quite a while and came back realizing 'Dear Lord, I need, like, two more paragraphs.' So I finished it, and edited, but still think it sounds wrong. 'Teva.
Disclaimer: All recognizable Discworld characters belong to Terry Pratchett. Twist does not know him. Reyna and Kerri belong to Twist, and 'Feel Like a Woman' belongs to Shania (sp?) Twain. Twist also owns her dog, which will not get out of her lap.
~
Lord Vetinari and Commander Vimes stood in absolute silence. Their daughters were listening outside the door, most likely betting, and it had become parental reaction #5 to remain completely silent when this occurred. The previous four parental reactions were something like: Thou shalt open any locked door that thy spawn is behind; Thou shalt know where thy spawn is at all times; Thou shalt discipline thy spawn when such action is required; and Thou shalt not let thy spawn be mysterious. Pretty standard, considering.
"They've gone," Vimes said, after a minute or so. "Where were we?"
"You were berating me for something, Sir Samuel," Lord Vetinari said coolly.
"Right," Vimes said, resuming his fixed gaze on the wall. "You are bloody well not going to send me anywhere again . . ."
~
"Look out, girls!" came Leonard's cry, as Reyna and Keri stepped through the door. They ducked, and a small metal object zoomed over their heads. Kerri whimpered. "My, that didn't work quite as expected. How are you? Would either of you fancy a beverage? Please, have a seat," Leonard rambled happily.
"What was it?" Reyna asked, bending over the small disc. "Looks odd, it does."
"Well, I was thinking about the whole moving pictures ordeal and wondered if perhaps a different type of picture-thrower may solve the problem of giant tentacled monsters."
"Ah," Kerri said weakly, her knees giving out close enough to a chair for it to look normal. Almost.
"So, I wondered if I could put it in little ridges on the bottom of a disc, and then teach imps to read the little bumps very quickly, and paint pictures fast enough to throw them onto the screen. A Bumpy Picture- Throwing Disc."
"I take it the machine is the problem?" Reyna asked, handling the disc.
"Yes, it can't get enough spin and the imps are too stubborn." Several imps looked up from the workbench, terror in their eyes. Even imps had a sense of self-preservation. Being in any of Leonard's experiments was not good as far as the continuation of the species was concerned.
"Meh," said Kerri. Reyna and Leonard gave her a glance, and went back to the conversation."
"Is there anything you wanted?" Leonard queried. "That's usually why your father comes to see me."
"Well," Reyna started, eyeing Kerri. "It was really something Kerri wanted, but she's terrified of you for reasons unknown."
"Meh."
Reyna sighed and looked at her comrade. "It's best not to ask, I suppose. Anyway, she was wondering if she could have some fireworks. Enough to spell something out."
"I could easily devise an invention with a message in it - "
"No, Leonard, thank you. I think fireworks are fine." Leonard and Reyna both looked at Kerri and silently agreed that an invention would not be a good thing for the girl's fragile mental health. Well, fragile when it came to anything involving Leonard of Quirm, anyway.
Leonard nodded. "I'll give them to you father for safekeeping shall I?" Reyna shook her head furiously.
"No, no, just have them sent to the Vimes property, please." Leonard nodded. "And I'm sorry, we really would like to stay for tea or something, but we have to go. Good luck with your discs," Reyna said, grabbing Kerri's arm and dragging her from the room.
"Meh!" Kerri exclaimed, running toward the door. Leonard merely chuckled.
~
Once they were free of the secret passages, and Kerri had apparently calmed down, Reyna started filling her in on all of the details of the conversation that Kerri had apparently missed.
"Good, good," Kerri said when she'd heard what had been discussed. "That's a good way for things to happen.
Reyna gave her friend a strange look and shrugged, saying "You have to see this boy, now. He's absolutely gorgeous, my friend." Kerri nodded in agreement, when something happened that happens to everyone sometime in their life. Parental interference.
"Just a moment of your time, girls," Lord Vetinari said silkily, stepping out of the Oblong Office and grabbing Reyna's shirt collar. "I believe you have to answer some questions first."
"We have wall weasels!" Reyna exclaimed, and attempted to make a run for it. Vetinari planted his feet, stopping his daughter dead.
"Come, my child," he said, turning and walking back into the Office. "This won't take five seconds if you would just cooperate."
"Ack! My back! And my heart! I'm dying!" Kerri was exclaiming in the passage, while Commander Vimes watched with a semi-serious, though almost amused expression. When things had settled, and Reyna and Kerri had succumbed to the Laws of Authority, Lord Vetinari asked the question all teenagers fear.
"Where are you going, then?"
"Secret project, sir," Reyna said. Vetinari rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry, but we can't tell you. Very hush-hush."
"Nothing containing chocolate for a week if you don't tell," Vimes threatened.
"I don't know! Mercy!" Kerri cried. Being the more dramatic, she threw herself at her father's feet. "Please, all I ask is for a packet of CocoChips!" She ignored Reyna's cry of 'How on the Disc can you eat those nasty things?' and continued. "I really don't know! Reyna was taking me to see some guy she thinks is hot."
"Reyna?" Vetinari asked, having a feeling this would have to end with some outrageous threat.
"I don't like chocolate," Reyna replied. She caught the look on her father's face and realized that he would probably ban her from something more than chocolate if she did not cease with the attitude. "Unseen University, sir," she replied, finally giving in.
"Unseen?" Commander Vimes asked. "An attractive wizard?" He gave his daughter an incredulous look.
"Unseen?" Kerri asked, looking at her friend with nothing short of amazement. "You think a wizard is hot?"
"Ponder Stibbons?" Vetinari asked, looking nothing short of amazed. "I really shouldn't say anything but have you no taste?"
"Dad!" Reyna exclaimed. "You're a guy! That was very wrong."
"Wait," the Commander said, trying to get his mind around an attractive wizard, and failing. "Ponder, isn't he the dorky one with the glasses?" Vetinari would have nodded, but he was looking out the window, making an attempt at not laughing.
Reyna sighed in exasperation. "You are so very impossible, my father."
"Yeah, and he's sort of known for it," Kerri pointed out. Reyna made a noise of frustration and stormed out of the room, followed by a cheerful Kerri. Very little made Kerri's day but a packet of CocoChips. Vimes watched them go, shrugged, and left, saying something curt but probably polite to the Patrician on the way out to dismiss himself. Vetinari nodded in acknowledgement, and burst out into hysterical laughter as soon as he was alone.
By: Twist
A/n: I'm in a very appropriate mood for this chapter right now. I'd been happily munching away on strawberries and V8Splash and lo, I got a scary mental image. Yes, I did. Picture Lord Vetinari signing 'Feel Like a Woman' in a suit. Hula skirt optional. *evil grin* And dancing, if you really want to. And that, ladies and gents, may explain this next chapter.
Also, I do realize it's a bit disjointed at the end, and the reason is that I left this chapter sit for quite a while and came back realizing 'Dear Lord, I need, like, two more paragraphs.' So I finished it, and edited, but still think it sounds wrong. 'Teva.
Disclaimer: All recognizable Discworld characters belong to Terry Pratchett. Twist does not know him. Reyna and Kerri belong to Twist, and 'Feel Like a Woman' belongs to Shania (sp?) Twain. Twist also owns her dog, which will not get out of her lap.
~
Lord Vetinari and Commander Vimes stood in absolute silence. Their daughters were listening outside the door, most likely betting, and it had become parental reaction #5 to remain completely silent when this occurred. The previous four parental reactions were something like: Thou shalt open any locked door that thy spawn is behind; Thou shalt know where thy spawn is at all times; Thou shalt discipline thy spawn when such action is required; and Thou shalt not let thy spawn be mysterious. Pretty standard, considering.
"They've gone," Vimes said, after a minute or so. "Where were we?"
"You were berating me for something, Sir Samuel," Lord Vetinari said coolly.
"Right," Vimes said, resuming his fixed gaze on the wall. "You are bloody well not going to send me anywhere again . . ."
~
"Look out, girls!" came Leonard's cry, as Reyna and Keri stepped through the door. They ducked, and a small metal object zoomed over their heads. Kerri whimpered. "My, that didn't work quite as expected. How are you? Would either of you fancy a beverage? Please, have a seat," Leonard rambled happily.
"What was it?" Reyna asked, bending over the small disc. "Looks odd, it does."
"Well, I was thinking about the whole moving pictures ordeal and wondered if perhaps a different type of picture-thrower may solve the problem of giant tentacled monsters."
"Ah," Kerri said weakly, her knees giving out close enough to a chair for it to look normal. Almost.
"So, I wondered if I could put it in little ridges on the bottom of a disc, and then teach imps to read the little bumps very quickly, and paint pictures fast enough to throw them onto the screen. A Bumpy Picture- Throwing Disc."
"I take it the machine is the problem?" Reyna asked, handling the disc.
"Yes, it can't get enough spin and the imps are too stubborn." Several imps looked up from the workbench, terror in their eyes. Even imps had a sense of self-preservation. Being in any of Leonard's experiments was not good as far as the continuation of the species was concerned.
"Meh," said Kerri. Reyna and Leonard gave her a glance, and went back to the conversation."
"Is there anything you wanted?" Leonard queried. "That's usually why your father comes to see me."
"Well," Reyna started, eyeing Kerri. "It was really something Kerri wanted, but she's terrified of you for reasons unknown."
"Meh."
Reyna sighed and looked at her comrade. "It's best not to ask, I suppose. Anyway, she was wondering if she could have some fireworks. Enough to spell something out."
"I could easily devise an invention with a message in it - "
"No, Leonard, thank you. I think fireworks are fine." Leonard and Reyna both looked at Kerri and silently agreed that an invention would not be a good thing for the girl's fragile mental health. Well, fragile when it came to anything involving Leonard of Quirm, anyway.
Leonard nodded. "I'll give them to you father for safekeeping shall I?" Reyna shook her head furiously.
"No, no, just have them sent to the Vimes property, please." Leonard nodded. "And I'm sorry, we really would like to stay for tea or something, but we have to go. Good luck with your discs," Reyna said, grabbing Kerri's arm and dragging her from the room.
"Meh!" Kerri exclaimed, running toward the door. Leonard merely chuckled.
~
Once they were free of the secret passages, and Kerri had apparently calmed down, Reyna started filling her in on all of the details of the conversation that Kerri had apparently missed.
"Good, good," Kerri said when she'd heard what had been discussed. "That's a good way for things to happen.
Reyna gave her friend a strange look and shrugged, saying "You have to see this boy, now. He's absolutely gorgeous, my friend." Kerri nodded in agreement, when something happened that happens to everyone sometime in their life. Parental interference.
"Just a moment of your time, girls," Lord Vetinari said silkily, stepping out of the Oblong Office and grabbing Reyna's shirt collar. "I believe you have to answer some questions first."
"We have wall weasels!" Reyna exclaimed, and attempted to make a run for it. Vetinari planted his feet, stopping his daughter dead.
"Come, my child," he said, turning and walking back into the Office. "This won't take five seconds if you would just cooperate."
"Ack! My back! And my heart! I'm dying!" Kerri was exclaiming in the passage, while Commander Vimes watched with a semi-serious, though almost amused expression. When things had settled, and Reyna and Kerri had succumbed to the Laws of Authority, Lord Vetinari asked the question all teenagers fear.
"Where are you going, then?"
"Secret project, sir," Reyna said. Vetinari rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry, but we can't tell you. Very hush-hush."
"Nothing containing chocolate for a week if you don't tell," Vimes threatened.
"I don't know! Mercy!" Kerri cried. Being the more dramatic, she threw herself at her father's feet. "Please, all I ask is for a packet of CocoChips!" She ignored Reyna's cry of 'How on the Disc can you eat those nasty things?' and continued. "I really don't know! Reyna was taking me to see some guy she thinks is hot."
"Reyna?" Vetinari asked, having a feeling this would have to end with some outrageous threat.
"I don't like chocolate," Reyna replied. She caught the look on her father's face and realized that he would probably ban her from something more than chocolate if she did not cease with the attitude. "Unseen University, sir," she replied, finally giving in.
"Unseen?" Commander Vimes asked. "An attractive wizard?" He gave his daughter an incredulous look.
"Unseen?" Kerri asked, looking at her friend with nothing short of amazement. "You think a wizard is hot?"
"Ponder Stibbons?" Vetinari asked, looking nothing short of amazed. "I really shouldn't say anything but have you no taste?"
"Dad!" Reyna exclaimed. "You're a guy! That was very wrong."
"Wait," the Commander said, trying to get his mind around an attractive wizard, and failing. "Ponder, isn't he the dorky one with the glasses?" Vetinari would have nodded, but he was looking out the window, making an attempt at not laughing.
Reyna sighed in exasperation. "You are so very impossible, my father."
"Yeah, and he's sort of known for it," Kerri pointed out. Reyna made a noise of frustration and stormed out of the room, followed by a cheerful Kerri. Very little made Kerri's day but a packet of CocoChips. Vimes watched them go, shrugged, and left, saying something curt but probably polite to the Patrician on the way out to dismiss himself. Vetinari nodded in acknowledgement, and burst out into hysterical laughter as soon as he was alone.