A.N: Hmmmm.I'm drawing a blank, man, I can usually always come up with
little comments to put in my authors note at the start of each chapter.
This is most disturbing...
20 minutes and quite a few maimed dumpsters later, the 4 present members of the fellowship reached the Hobbiton PD. After they were attempted to be picked up by several hookers (all of which had indistinguishable genders, Gimli didn't seem to mind though). they made their way up to the front desk where a female cop sat.
"Hello there boys," she said, leering at Frodo, chucking him under the chin and winking suggestively.
"Hello Marcie," Gimli said, looking at the name tag, putting on his seductive voice, "We're here to place bail."
She didn't not leer, chuck, or wink back.
Pippin curled up on his side of the bench, trying to get as far away from his cell mate a possible. The other man kept sliding over in an extremely obvious manner, ignoring how uncomfortable he was making Pippin.
Not a moment to soon, the door opened and Frodo, Sam, Gimli, and Aragorn walked in with the police officer.
"Aragorn, where did you come from?!?" Pippin asked, jumping up.
Everyone groaned and turned away.
"In the name of all that is holy, couldn't have you given the poor boy some pants?" Aragorn said sharply.
Marcie the cop shrugged, "I didn't see the need."
If Pippin had any sense, he would have known to blush at the 19th leer, chuck, wink. But as Pippin is horribly naive, I decided to let him keep his innocence.
The gang piled into the van and drove back home, but no one noticed the extra person in the car. Back to the police station, Pip's cell was completely empty. (cue suspenseful music)
A few minutes after they left, Legolas finally rode up to the hobbit-hole, dismounted and knocked on the door. When no one answered, he let himself in, fearing the worst had happened.
"OH NO!" he cried upon entering, for there was Gandalf sprawled across the floor, pipe still smoking in his hand.
"Gandalf, Gandalf! Speak to me! What happened?!?"
Gandalf squinted at Legolas, finally recognizing him.
"Hello there Nancy, quite a day we're having, eh?"
"Gandalf, your not well, let's get you to bed."
"Poppycock Nancy, I'm fine, now why don't you head to the kitchen and make me a sandwich like a good little girl?"
Legolas looked at the pipe the wizard was puffing on, and understood. He must be on the same weed the hobbits had been on when they 'met' Tom Bombadil, whoever the hell that was.
"Yes, sir." Legolas said.
A.N: The whole 'leer,chuck, wink' this is not mine. I stole it from a Hanson fanfic by Cloud [9], so I'm not pretending to claim it.
Reviews:
Watcher: Christopher Lee was also a slave dealer in "Babes in Bagdad" but we don't like to talk about that......
Legalou: My sincerest apologizes, but actually, choking on one's self is pretty much the reaction I was going for while writing this!!
Jera and Faery872: Boy Howdy! What a review that was! Yes, I am already brain storming for my "All nude, all the time" story. I think I'll have all of them go broke and then have to get jobs at a strip club. Hmmmm, I think Frodo will start calling himself Mango too....OR, Hobbiton suddenly becomes a nudist colony.the possibilities are endless.
20 minutes and quite a few maimed dumpsters later, the 4 present members of the fellowship reached the Hobbiton PD. After they were attempted to be picked up by several hookers (all of which had indistinguishable genders, Gimli didn't seem to mind though). they made their way up to the front desk where a female cop sat.
"Hello there boys," she said, leering at Frodo, chucking him under the chin and winking suggestively.
"Hello Marcie," Gimli said, looking at the name tag, putting on his seductive voice, "We're here to place bail."
She didn't not leer, chuck, or wink back.
Pippin curled up on his side of the bench, trying to get as far away from his cell mate a possible. The other man kept sliding over in an extremely obvious manner, ignoring how uncomfortable he was making Pippin.
Not a moment to soon, the door opened and Frodo, Sam, Gimli, and Aragorn walked in with the police officer.
"Aragorn, where did you come from?!?" Pippin asked, jumping up.
Everyone groaned and turned away.
"In the name of all that is holy, couldn't have you given the poor boy some pants?" Aragorn said sharply.
Marcie the cop shrugged, "I didn't see the need."
If Pippin had any sense, he would have known to blush at the 19th leer, chuck, wink. But as Pippin is horribly naive, I decided to let him keep his innocence.
The gang piled into the van and drove back home, but no one noticed the extra person in the car. Back to the police station, Pip's cell was completely empty. (cue suspenseful music)
A few minutes after they left, Legolas finally rode up to the hobbit-hole, dismounted and knocked on the door. When no one answered, he let himself in, fearing the worst had happened.
"OH NO!" he cried upon entering, for there was Gandalf sprawled across the floor, pipe still smoking in his hand.
"Gandalf, Gandalf! Speak to me! What happened?!?"
Gandalf squinted at Legolas, finally recognizing him.
"Hello there Nancy, quite a day we're having, eh?"
"Gandalf, your not well, let's get you to bed."
"Poppycock Nancy, I'm fine, now why don't you head to the kitchen and make me a sandwich like a good little girl?"
Legolas looked at the pipe the wizard was puffing on, and understood. He must be on the same weed the hobbits had been on when they 'met' Tom Bombadil, whoever the hell that was.
"Yes, sir." Legolas said.
A.N: The whole 'leer,chuck, wink' this is not mine. I stole it from a Hanson fanfic by Cloud [9], so I'm not pretending to claim it.
Reviews:
Watcher: Christopher Lee was also a slave dealer in "Babes in Bagdad" but we don't like to talk about that......
Legalou: My sincerest apologizes, but actually, choking on one's self is pretty much the reaction I was going for while writing this!!
Jera and Faery872: Boy Howdy! What a review that was! Yes, I am already brain storming for my "All nude, all the time" story. I think I'll have all of them go broke and then have to get jobs at a strip club. Hmmmm, I think Frodo will start calling himself Mango too....OR, Hobbiton suddenly becomes a nudist colony.the possibilities are endless.