Rating: this chapter is PG
Spoilers: Season 6 and Tokra (I think that's what those two eps are called)
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One Month Later
Shivering, Sam stood by the DHD and waited for the rest of the team to reach them. Jonas had the GDO device on this occasion and he was, typically, last. There was no point in activating the gate until he was with her. She shivered again and watched as lightening forked in the distance. Milliseconds later, thunder rippled above her, echoing across the sodden landscape. The clouds were so dark it was practically night-time in the middle of the day - Sam hadn't seen anything like it before, which was saying a lot.
The Colonel came to stand by her, face resolutely staring forward as rainwater pelted his face and rolled down his cheeks and chin like tears. Actually, at some point on the final stretch back to the Stargate, Sam had indulged herself in a small, quiet crying jag, safe in the knowledge that no one could see her. It had seemed somewhat decadent to allow herself to weep in the company of her comrades, walking three steps ahead of the man she was crying for, and she was feeling fairly cleansed because of it.
That said, looking at him now, she couldn't say she was cleansed entirely. Random fits of tears had been her mode of dealing over the past month, and it didn't appear to be letting off. Usually when she grieved for something, she did so safe in the knowledge that the person or thing she was grieving over wasn't going to be around. This was not the case here. She saw him every day, sometimes unavoidably, sometimes accidentally, and each time it rubbed in what she had lost.
At no time in the past four weeks since he had left her room on that damned alien world had he indicated by word or deed that he recalled at all what they had done together.
Jonas had. The man whom she'd come see as a genuinely nice person, perhaps a touch naive in some ways, had been extremely careful around her recently. She imagined the Colonel had got to him, had told him what had gone on and had ordered him not to give the details over in his report. Which was why Jonas kept smiling at her in that certain way, almost as if he knew what she was going through.
Teal'c, like the Colonel, acted as though nothing had happened, though he must have got at least part of the show the moment the drug had kicked in and made Sam and the Colonel irresistible to each other. However, Teal'c viewed emotional matters as something to be left out of combat, an attitude that the Colonel no doubt agreed with. And one she felt she used to agree with also, but that had been before she'd met him.
''Sorry, sorry,'' Jonas chorused, coming forward and nodding at Sam, his short hair plastered to his head, even under his waterproof. Sam was having the same problem. It was all very well wearing the protective clothing but nothing was truly rain-proof. There was a stream of water running straight between her breasts as she stood there, but there was little she could do about it. Little she wanted to do about it, truth be told.
She smiled vaguely at him - it was all she could manage considering how exhausted she was - and started dialling up Earth, her fingers depressing the huge symbols as she had done time and time again.
Another fork of lightening shot down in her peripheral vision.
''Close,'' the Colonel said quietly.
Sam didn't bother to respond, just continued dialling and nodded at Jonas when it was time for him to activate the GDO. Cheerfully, he did so, the rain not seeming to bother him in the least. Then he bounded up to the gate, Teal'c following him sedately.
Colonel O'Neill looked over at Sam, and her heart leapt hope. But he didn't say anything, merely looked at her and then turned on his heel. She forced her feet forward, squelching in the dirt. Behind her, lightening forked and moments before she stepped into the Stargate, she paused and turned to watch the miserable, albeit spectacularly so, landscape. Realising she was delaying the inevitable, Sam about faced and pushed through the event horizon.
The difference in sound was the first to hit. Inside the embarkation room, machines whirred, people clattered, weapons cocked. The ramp bounced under her feet as she followed Colonel O'Neill down to the bottom where Hammond was waiting.
''Colonel?''
''I'd say 'boring as hell' but since we've all technically visited Hell, oh, sorry, Jonas, I'll just go with very, very wet, sir.''
Hammond nodded, face revealing nothing more than mild amusement. ''Infirmary, showers, mission briefing in an hour.''
''Yes, sir.''
Sam trudged after her team-mates, fairly oblivious to their banter, her mind on getting to the infirmary, getting through the regulation basic check-up, and then getting into a hot shower and staying there for as long as possible.
A wave of exhaustion hit her and she slowed to a halt.
''Carter?''
She looked up, saw that the three men were standing in the elevator, looking at her curiously. ''Sorry,'' she murmured, forcing her feet forward the last few steps. ''Just really tired.''
''Me too, actually,'' Jonas joined in hurriedly.
The Colonel looked at him ironically. ''You wouldn't think it to look at you.''
Jonas took it easily. ''Well, I do feel tired.'' And to prove it, he yawned hugely, even stretched his arms up over his head. ''I'm really looking forward to going to bed. Do you think the briefing will be long?''
The doors opened as Colonel O'Neill started talking, walking forward, ''Shouldn't think so, Jonas. It's not like the planet was very exciting. Carter got her requisite samples. We got our requisite drenching.'' He risked a smile at her. ''At least Carter'll have something to do in downtime.''
Sam raised her eyebrows, the very idea of actually come in to work on her day off completely beyond her current comprehension. ''If I make it in tomorrow it'll be a miracle.''
''God forbid, Major, are you going to take downtime like the rest of us... I was gonna say Earthlings but...'' He glanced at Jonas, then at Teal'c, and grinned. Jonas grinned back, Teal'c merely nodded, his usual tight smile in place.
Janet wasn't in the infirmary when they arrived, rather to Sam's disappointment. She could have used a female friend right then. Instead, some nameless new nurse gave her a swift check-up and said she could go. Thank God the mission hadn't been a medical disaster or she'd have been in for the works - blood work, a colourful range of impossibly named injections, and a full physical.
''Night guys!'' she yelled as she walked out of the infirmary.
''Night Sam!''
''Goodnight, Major Carter.''
''See ya tomorrow, Carter!''
At least he managed that one, Sam thought bitterly, heading straight for the lockers, even if it was in public and after the warm goodbyes of the rest of team. Maybe when she next saw him (and it wasn't going to be tomorrow - there was no way she was coming in until after the weekend) he could manage to string a couple of sentences together. Ask her about the weather, perhaps? God knew all he'd managed to do the last few weeks had been to give her terse orders and occasional demands.
She flipped the sign outside the lockers to women and walked inside to find, not unusually, that it was empty. Rarely did SG teams come back within an hour of each other, so SG-1 mainly got the lockers to themselves. She grabbed her wash bag and towel and swiftly removed her clothes before wrapping the towel about her chest. She picked her favourite shower compartment (the one where the hot water lasted the longest) and let the water run until it was near-scalding. Then she stepped in.
Ah....
.... bliss.
She leaned her forehead against the tile while the hot water restored the warmth to her body. The last month had been hard on her - her virtually non-existent relationship with Colonel O'Neill and her continuing sleepless nights compounded with several rather difficult missions had battered her strength somewhat. She was about ready to drop.
Eventually, Sam realised she couldn't stay under the hot water forever and she set about giving her hair a good wash and then her body an equally vigorous scrub. When the last soap suds had been smoothed away, Sam regretfully switched off the shower and wrapped her soft towel around herself.
Nearly time to go home.