*Minka draws her bow and starts to randomly fire arrows at all the
approaching slash writers* 'Tis all your fault - you have converted me
completely!!
Ok, over it. Here is yet another little slash story that may turn into something longer then a mere two chapters - 'tis all up to you readers.
Enjoy.
OH! And by now you all know that I own everything.I mean, I own that stapler, that used envelope, twenty-seven lip glosses, about twenty Orlando Bloom/Lord of the Rings posters, one copy of the VHS and one of a pirated DVD - yet I don't have a DVD player.go figure! - sadly I think that is about all that I own. Oh, and the song is by Hoobastank (who rock!) and is called 'Running Away,' 'Remember Me' is at the end.
*****
Remember Me. Part one.
*****
I don't want you, to give it all up, And leave your own life collecting dust.
And I don't want you, to feel sorry for me, You never gave us a chance to be.
*****
Legolas shot a secret glance at the dark-haired man at the head of the table. He seemed so happy sitting there with his wife next to him and his small son on his knee.
Legolas had long since made peace with himself about Aragorn. The man would never belong to him and he knew that now. Although it still hurt to realise that, it did not trouble him as much as it used to. They were from two different worlds; one cursed to be long and one doomed to be short.
Aragorn may have been blessed with an unnaturally long life, but he was still mortal - and a king. The one thing that a mortal king needed the most as the one thing that Legolas could never give him and that was an heir. Granted that the man now had one, it seemed to Legolas that it was just more of a reason for him to stay away and keep his feelings hidden.
So far he had succeeded well, never letting anyone know; although he did have his suspicions about Gimli knowing, but even so, he had no reason to fear him telling anyone. He had hidden his feelings from Aragorn exceptionally well, and that was a hard thing to do.
Ever since he had known Aragorn, the man had had a knack for being able to pick up on peoples' vibes and feelings, no matter what the situation. He could see through any lie just as Legolas could see through a deep fog. It was uncanny, he could just look at a person and tell them exactly what they were thinking, well, anyone save Legolas.
The Elf had learnt to keep a passive look upon his face and not show any emotion at all. He did this even when things looked grim and Aragorn himself broke down. Legolas would not let anything slip.
Legolas was sure that Aragorn had thought him - even though they were close friends - heartless. But, as Legolas constantly told himself, 'twas a far better thing to be though heartless by the one he loved then to loose a friend over an unrequited love. That was the only thing that Legolas could find solitude in, the fact that that were still friends, though it seemed almost a curse at most times.
At first he had thought that he would waste away, die of his grief and of a broken heart. But he did not, and he was soon to see that that process took longer then he ever could have imagined. Legolas had felt as if something inside of him had died ever since Aragorn's engagement to Arwen and it took him a long time to see what it was.
'Twas not the part of him that wanted to live, that found joy in the long life that he was blessed with - that was still there - but it was the part of him that wanted to - needed to - love. It had died, slipped out of him at the moment that Aragorn pledged his love to Arwen, rendering it impossible to love another or even to love again. So did that mean that he truly was heartless? To Legolas, it felt like it.
There was not a night that went by that left him without lying in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep and thinking that it would have been better if he had lost his will to live. It would have hurt him less, to be able to pass out of the world instead of staying within and suffering even more.
Yet here he was still breathing and watching as the one he loved lived out his life in happiness, completely unaware of the pain in which he was in. Aragorn had a life filled with everything that he could have ever wanted and Legolas was not part of that and could not share in that joy.
It was Aragorn's son's 6th birthday celebration and everyone was there. Everything reminded Legolas of what he did not have. The joy, the freedom and the family. It was surrounding him yet would not bless him with its touch and it was slowly breaking his heart.
Feeling as if he were on the verge of tears, Legolas quickly and quietly excused himself from the high table and exited the room, paying no never mind to the strange looks that he received.
He walked slowly about the many hallways of the castle of Gondor, wanting to get out yet feeling that he was not strong enough. Finally he came to where he wished to be - the roof of Gondor's highest tower.
The roof was not easily accessible to anyone but him, and it was only through his Elven abilities that he could succeed. It was the one place where he felt free while being within the confinements of the castle.
Taking a few careful steps so he came to the very edge of the roof, he just stood there looking out upon the land that lay before him. The wind was strong for this time of season and he relished in the feel of it blowing his hair about his face and the cool touch through his clothes.
Taking a deep breath he could taste the rain that had fallen that day mixed with the strange taste of dirt saturated with fresh water. What he liked the most about this place was the view as he could see the sea as if it were mere inches away. He felt as if he could reach out his hand and touch the cool waters, feel the smoothness lapping around his ankles and the breeze playing in his hair. From here he could smell the salty water of the ocean and, on nights when the rest of the world lay still and asleep he could hear the gulls calling softly, calling his name and begging that he come meet them.
Some nights he would have gladly gone to meet them and follow their white wings over the seas to the Undying Lands, but something always held him back. Many times he had even dressed, walked down through the winding streets and sections of Minas Tirith and passed the gate, ignoring the looks from the guards that knew him. And yet he always came back, no matter how far he got.
Once he had kept to his path, stayed true to his nighttime promise and continued on his way reaching the junction of the River Erui and the Anduin, but once he got there he found he could not pass it, no matter how hard he tried to will himself forward. He had stayed there that night - camped under the stars as he had used to do as a child. It calmed him to see the stars, unchanging and unconcerned - not feeling the weight that lay upon the world - as he lay in a wakeful silence. Every muscle in his body begged him to go forward while at the same time they all pleaded with him to stay. He was at a loss, to go or to return. It was one of the hardest choices he ever had to make, and, as it turned out, he did not have to make it.
A few hours before the sun was due to rise he heard the far off sound of horse's hooves pounding along the ground at an astonishing speed. In a few moments a figure wearing a dark cloak appeared through the trees that hindered the horizon, and, within a minute or two, the rider stopped right in front of Legolas.
The Elf had drawn no weapons as he did not fear the rider. 'Twas as if he already knew who it was, and, as the hood was drawn back his suspicions were proved correct.
"They told me you had left," Aragorn said quietly, a look of puzzlement on his face. "Why would you not tell me?"
"I am here, am I not?" Legolas replied rather coldly. The last thing he wanted was for Aragorn to know what had been going through his mind all these years and how it had manifested into something greater.
Aragorn merely looked at him, and, in a movement that shocked the Elf, pulled him into his arms. "If you feel that you must leave, then leave and do not let me hold you back. But I beg of you, do not go without saying good-bye, my friend."
With that said, Aragorn looked down at the Elf, seeking the answers within the blue eyes, and when he saw that Legolas had no wish to leave at that moment, he lead him back to his horse. Putting Legolas in front of him, Aragorn climbed up behind the Elf and steered the horse back in the direction of the city.
And that was were he had stayed, not really for the sake of Aragorn, but at that same time solely for him, to be close to the man that he had loved for so long. The only thing that Legolas was sure of was that he was not sure about anything - his feelings for the man would not leave him no matter how much he tried to banish them and yet he could not take that last step in leaving.
A strong gust of wind came from the south - from the sea - and Legolas spread his arms, drinking in the sent of the salty water of the sea that he was yet to see and yet to feel. Standing there, his arms open to the welcoming wind and his face turned up to the sky and yet with his eyes closed, Legolas felt a single tear snake its way down his face and over his cheek.
So caught up in his battling emotions was he, that he did not realise that someone else was on the roof with him until a pair of strong arms quickly circled around his waist and jerked him backwards, away from the edge of the roof.
Landing on his back and elbows upon the tiles with a thud, Legolas let out a startled cry ere looking up to see who his assilent was. Aragorn. His heart skipped a beat and he felt the blood rushing from his head, making him dizzy.
"Just what in the Valar's name were you doing?" the man yelled, pulling Legolas from his thoughts of the man.
Dazed by the man's harsh question, Legolas did not know what Aragorn was talking about. "What are you asking?" he queried, his words almost slurring.
The man looked angry, no, far more than angry, he looked furious. "What the hell are you doing up here?"
"Admiring the view," Legolas answered truthfully, not understanding the man's rage. It seemed that the more time he spent as king the quicker his tempers' came and went, sometimes flaring to terrifying heights.
"Damn it, Legolas, don't lie to me!" Aragorn yelled back. Suddenly, before Legolas' very eyes, Aragorn's face changed - almost crumpled - and the next time he spoke his words shook slightly, mirroring the fear that he felt. "Why would you do that? Why would you think that that was the only way out?"
Legolas stared blankly back at the man, unable to grasp what he was implying. Aragorn quickly sat down next to the Elf and pulled him into his arms, forcing the Elf to half sit in his lap. Straight away Legolas tensed, trying to pull away, but Aragorn would not let him and simply held him tighter. "Why were you going to jump?" Aragorn whispered into Legolas' pointed ear.
All at once realisation hit the Elf, the man had thought he sort to end his life by jumping off the roof! For a moment Legolas entertained the idea, sure it was one thing to die of a broken heart, but to jump? Well, compared to how it felt to slowly die from the inside, surly flying for a few moments would be a lot better.
Shaking the folly thoughts from his head Legolas once again tried to pull away from the man, but to no avail. Sighing, he looked up at the concerned eyes of the ranger and replied concisely, "I was not going to jump, Aragorn."
The once ranger looked as if he did not believe the Elf that he held, and opened his mouth to speak again, but Legolas cut him off. "I really was not going to jump. I was just here for some peace and to look upon the stars. This night, the wind was strong, and I could smell the sea and hear the cry of the gulls - I was not going to jump!" to his surprise Aragorn started to laugh. "I am yet to see what is so amusing, Aragorn." Legolas stated.
After a moment Aragorn regained his composure and spoke. "I am the amusing one," he informed Legolas, "I was so scared when I saw you - you have a way of doing that to me, you know? - and I guess I just overreacted, thinking of the worst possible situation." He looked down at Legolas, who was looking up at him with a wide-eyed expression, and started to stroke his cheek gently. "I never want to loose you, Legolas."
The man's touch shattered all the defenses that Legolas had worked so hard to build and he felt himself leaning into the calloused hand on his cheek. The warmth of the man holding him made him feel safe and brought about a happiness that he had not felt in many years.
Aragorn looked deep into the Elf's eyes, and, before Legolas could object he sealed their lips in a tender kiss. Pulling Legolas closer, Aragorn reached behind the Elf's silky blond hair and gently pushed his head to his more, deepening the kiss.
A soft, barely audible moan slipped from Legolas' lips and Aragorn took that opportunity to slip his tongue into the warmth that was the archer's mouth. Slowly Aragorn's hands ran down Legolas's back until they can to rest on his hips, pushing the Elf even closer.
Legolas felt as if he were going to melt, that all his dreams had come true. Aragorn was kissing him as if he were his lover, as if he were Arwen - the thought of her suddenly jerked him from his paradise and Legolas felt as if he would be sick.
Summoning all his strength and courage, he reached his arms up to Aragorn's chest and pushed hard, forgetting that the man had a strong hold on his lower back.
Aragorn fell backwards, pulling Legolas with him so that the prince was right on top of the human. A sly smile crept onto Aragorn's face as he again sealed their lips in a needy kiss, wanting more of the Elf with each passing minute.
Tugging desperately at the hands that held him in place, Legolas tried to escape the ranger's mouth and invading tongue.
After what seemed like an eternity Aragorn seemed to notice that something was wrong and withdrew his mouth, sending a puzzled look at the Elf that still lay on his chest.
"What's wrong?" he asked quietly as Legolas extracted himself fully from the human's embrace.
"We can not - I can not!" the Elf whispered while heading for the window that he used to access the rooftop.
Aragorn could not believe his ears, especially since he was sure that Legolas had more then friendly feelings towards him. "Legolas, wait!" he yelled after the Elf, who kept walking. Covering the distance between them with a few quick steps, Aragorn grabbed the Elf's arm and turned Legolas to face him.
Legolas struggled as much as he could without hurting the man, but when Aragorn pinned both his arms to his sides he was forced to just glare at his friend. "Let me go, Aragorn." It sounded weak even to him, but he hoped that it would get through to the man.
"Legolas?" Aragorn breathed while searching his friend's eyes for the answers to what was troubling him so. "Why do you run?"
"Is it not obvious?" Legolas answered, his eyes still locked with Aragorn's. He felt as if, through those deep, grey eyes, he could be anyone, be anywhere and that Aragorn had complete control over him. Like the human could read his soul and bend it at will. For the first time in his life, Legolas realised that he was slightly scared of the intensity of those eyes - or was it the man that they belonged to?
"Nay, 'tis not obvious." Aragorn replied, careful not to break eye contact. "Now tell me what bothers you so, I thought you wanted this."
Legolas could not bring himself to answer the man, not really knowing what to say even if he could find his voice. It was true, he did want this, he wanted it more than anything he had ever wanted in his entire life - and that was a long time - but it did not feel right. Here he was, on the roof with the man that he had loved for years, Aragorn making the first move, yet Arwen and Aragorn's small child were down stairs, celebrating a birthday. It was just wrong.
"Think of Arwen." was all he said, not trusting himself to say anymore.
"What of her?' Aragorn breathed against Legolas' lips, brushing them with his own and flicking his tongue over the princes full bottom lip. Legolas closed his eyes and sighed in pleasure and all too soon for him to stop the man, Aragorn was kissing him again, pressing their bodies together. Legolas became aware of a large bulge in the ranger's pants, just as he was aware of his own.
When Aragorn finally released their lips for a much needed breath of air Legolas found himself weakly protesting again. "We can not."
"Why not?" Aragorn demanded, "you want this, just as I do, so why must we fight it? Arwen will not care, she has taken her own lover, so why not us?"
Aragorn's demanding tone pushed any thoughts of the two together that still remained out of his head, and he found himself angry. "What are you saying? You two are so happy - your son?" Legolas didn't understand any of this and more than ever he wanted to be out of the man's arms.
"We have not been happy for a long time now, my dear," Aragorn said soothingly, "her affections have fallen elsewhere, just as mine have." Aragorn looked straight at Legolas when speaking the last part, and the Elf knew that he was the one to have captured the man's heart. "Now, let us both have what we wish, for I do know you want this."
Again the rage overtook Legolas. This was not what he wanted, it should not have been this way and he had every intention of telling Aragorn that. "Aye, I may want this, I may have dreamed about it for many a year, but I refuse to be used as a way to get back at Arwen. I will be no man's whore!"
At his fiery words Aragorn drew back, completely surprised. "Legolas, 'tis not like that, not like that at all."
"Is it not? Do not tell me that you do not want a way to get back at Arwen, that you do not dream of it night after night! I will be no man's sport, Aragorn, you of all people should know that!" Legolas was yelling now and unable to control the quiver in his voice.
"I swear, it is not that. Aye, I do want revenge on Arwen for she hurt me beyond words, but you, you are not that revenge, you are -"
"The comfort? The one to run to when all else gets bad but the one that was not good enough when there was a prospect of something better? Is that what I am?"
"Legolas, stop it! You know perfectly well that that is not what you are." Aragorn's own voice raised into a shout and the man seemed surprised at himself. Quickly swallowing his anger, he softened his tone, trying to sooth the Elf. "You are the one that I loved even before getting betrothed to Arwen, but the one I could not be with due to my duty as a king!"
Legolas was momentarily shocked at the man's words, yet it lasted only a moment. Forcing himself to stay to his anger, to not let himself get talked into anything that he would always regret, he pushed down the tingly feeling that had started to spread through him, and glared at the man anew.
"Do not attempt to win me over with folly words full of love and incontempt!" he hissed, "I thought that I was worth more than that to you, Aragorn."
"You are, if you would just let me show you. If you would heed my words instead of pushing me away!"
"I am not pushing you away -"
"Yes you are!" Aragorn cut in, "you are because you are afraid. Why are you so afraid to let this happen?"
Legolas bit his lip, not wishing to tell the man the truth. How could he tell Aragorn that he had now discovered that he was afraid of him? How could he say that, even though he wanted this to happen so much that he was worried that they would both regret it in the morning? How could he confess to the human that he was terrified to get close, knowing that one day soon, Aragorn would die and then Legolas would be alone with his grief, and that that grief would be even more after having the man than what it was now? And of the sea? It's call was getting stronger and stronger and every night Legolas found it harder and harder to resist the claming waters that lapped against the shore to the south. What of Arwen? How could he ever face her again if he allowed this to happen, and what of Aragorn's son? There were just too many questions that could not be answered, even with such an act.
Aragorn pulled Legolas even closer, as if he wanted them to mould into one and Legolas found himself pulling away. Unwrapping the arms that were around him, Legolas took a step back, avoiding Aragorn's intense gaze. The human reached for him with a look of desperation on his face, wanting Legolas to understand but the prince took another step backwards.
"I am sorry, Aragorn - Estel - my friend, but we can not. I will not allow it - for both your sake as well as mine." Then turning so Aragorn would not see the tears that were forming in his eyes, Legolas ran, jumped through the window quicker than he ever had and was out of sight.
Aragorn sighed and cursed out loud ere running as quickly as possible, due to the fact that he was on a roof, after the Elf.
He caught up with him just outside Legolas' bedroom. The Elf was about walk in through his door when Aragorn came up behind him and slammed it shut, putting himself in between the archer and the door.
"Arago -" Legolas' enraged protests were silenced by a firm and possessive kiss as the man shoved him roughly up against the wall.
*****
And I don't want you, to be by my side. And tell me that every thing's all right.
I just wanted you to tell me the truth. You know I'd do that for you.
*****
Tbc.
*Glares at all you people* you have corrupted me!! I have become a slash writer - I mean I have a few now and - and - I need someone to blame!!!!
Anyway, I hope you liked that and I will try to continue it as soon as possible - as well as all my other stories. *wanders off aimlessly to watch Lord of the Rings again while thanking the goddess that the 'pause' button was discovered so she can watch Aragorn grab Legolas at the destruction of the Mines of Moria.*
Minka Rain Greenleaf.
Ok, over it. Here is yet another little slash story that may turn into something longer then a mere two chapters - 'tis all up to you readers.
Enjoy.
OH! And by now you all know that I own everything.I mean, I own that stapler, that used envelope, twenty-seven lip glosses, about twenty Orlando Bloom/Lord of the Rings posters, one copy of the VHS and one of a pirated DVD - yet I don't have a DVD player.go figure! - sadly I think that is about all that I own. Oh, and the song is by Hoobastank (who rock!) and is called 'Running Away,' 'Remember Me' is at the end.
*****
Remember Me. Part one.
*****
I don't want you, to give it all up, And leave your own life collecting dust.
And I don't want you, to feel sorry for me, You never gave us a chance to be.
*****
Legolas shot a secret glance at the dark-haired man at the head of the table. He seemed so happy sitting there with his wife next to him and his small son on his knee.
Legolas had long since made peace with himself about Aragorn. The man would never belong to him and he knew that now. Although it still hurt to realise that, it did not trouble him as much as it used to. They were from two different worlds; one cursed to be long and one doomed to be short.
Aragorn may have been blessed with an unnaturally long life, but he was still mortal - and a king. The one thing that a mortal king needed the most as the one thing that Legolas could never give him and that was an heir. Granted that the man now had one, it seemed to Legolas that it was just more of a reason for him to stay away and keep his feelings hidden.
So far he had succeeded well, never letting anyone know; although he did have his suspicions about Gimli knowing, but even so, he had no reason to fear him telling anyone. He had hidden his feelings from Aragorn exceptionally well, and that was a hard thing to do.
Ever since he had known Aragorn, the man had had a knack for being able to pick up on peoples' vibes and feelings, no matter what the situation. He could see through any lie just as Legolas could see through a deep fog. It was uncanny, he could just look at a person and tell them exactly what they were thinking, well, anyone save Legolas.
The Elf had learnt to keep a passive look upon his face and not show any emotion at all. He did this even when things looked grim and Aragorn himself broke down. Legolas would not let anything slip.
Legolas was sure that Aragorn had thought him - even though they were close friends - heartless. But, as Legolas constantly told himself, 'twas a far better thing to be though heartless by the one he loved then to loose a friend over an unrequited love. That was the only thing that Legolas could find solitude in, the fact that that were still friends, though it seemed almost a curse at most times.
At first he had thought that he would waste away, die of his grief and of a broken heart. But he did not, and he was soon to see that that process took longer then he ever could have imagined. Legolas had felt as if something inside of him had died ever since Aragorn's engagement to Arwen and it took him a long time to see what it was.
'Twas not the part of him that wanted to live, that found joy in the long life that he was blessed with - that was still there - but it was the part of him that wanted to - needed to - love. It had died, slipped out of him at the moment that Aragorn pledged his love to Arwen, rendering it impossible to love another or even to love again. So did that mean that he truly was heartless? To Legolas, it felt like it.
There was not a night that went by that left him without lying in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep and thinking that it would have been better if he had lost his will to live. It would have hurt him less, to be able to pass out of the world instead of staying within and suffering even more.
Yet here he was still breathing and watching as the one he loved lived out his life in happiness, completely unaware of the pain in which he was in. Aragorn had a life filled with everything that he could have ever wanted and Legolas was not part of that and could not share in that joy.
It was Aragorn's son's 6th birthday celebration and everyone was there. Everything reminded Legolas of what he did not have. The joy, the freedom and the family. It was surrounding him yet would not bless him with its touch and it was slowly breaking his heart.
Feeling as if he were on the verge of tears, Legolas quickly and quietly excused himself from the high table and exited the room, paying no never mind to the strange looks that he received.
He walked slowly about the many hallways of the castle of Gondor, wanting to get out yet feeling that he was not strong enough. Finally he came to where he wished to be - the roof of Gondor's highest tower.
The roof was not easily accessible to anyone but him, and it was only through his Elven abilities that he could succeed. It was the one place where he felt free while being within the confinements of the castle.
Taking a few careful steps so he came to the very edge of the roof, he just stood there looking out upon the land that lay before him. The wind was strong for this time of season and he relished in the feel of it blowing his hair about his face and the cool touch through his clothes.
Taking a deep breath he could taste the rain that had fallen that day mixed with the strange taste of dirt saturated with fresh water. What he liked the most about this place was the view as he could see the sea as if it were mere inches away. He felt as if he could reach out his hand and touch the cool waters, feel the smoothness lapping around his ankles and the breeze playing in his hair. From here he could smell the salty water of the ocean and, on nights when the rest of the world lay still and asleep he could hear the gulls calling softly, calling his name and begging that he come meet them.
Some nights he would have gladly gone to meet them and follow their white wings over the seas to the Undying Lands, but something always held him back. Many times he had even dressed, walked down through the winding streets and sections of Minas Tirith and passed the gate, ignoring the looks from the guards that knew him. And yet he always came back, no matter how far he got.
Once he had kept to his path, stayed true to his nighttime promise and continued on his way reaching the junction of the River Erui and the Anduin, but once he got there he found he could not pass it, no matter how hard he tried to will himself forward. He had stayed there that night - camped under the stars as he had used to do as a child. It calmed him to see the stars, unchanging and unconcerned - not feeling the weight that lay upon the world - as he lay in a wakeful silence. Every muscle in his body begged him to go forward while at the same time they all pleaded with him to stay. He was at a loss, to go or to return. It was one of the hardest choices he ever had to make, and, as it turned out, he did not have to make it.
A few hours before the sun was due to rise he heard the far off sound of horse's hooves pounding along the ground at an astonishing speed. In a few moments a figure wearing a dark cloak appeared through the trees that hindered the horizon, and, within a minute or two, the rider stopped right in front of Legolas.
The Elf had drawn no weapons as he did not fear the rider. 'Twas as if he already knew who it was, and, as the hood was drawn back his suspicions were proved correct.
"They told me you had left," Aragorn said quietly, a look of puzzlement on his face. "Why would you not tell me?"
"I am here, am I not?" Legolas replied rather coldly. The last thing he wanted was for Aragorn to know what had been going through his mind all these years and how it had manifested into something greater.
Aragorn merely looked at him, and, in a movement that shocked the Elf, pulled him into his arms. "If you feel that you must leave, then leave and do not let me hold you back. But I beg of you, do not go without saying good-bye, my friend."
With that said, Aragorn looked down at the Elf, seeking the answers within the blue eyes, and when he saw that Legolas had no wish to leave at that moment, he lead him back to his horse. Putting Legolas in front of him, Aragorn climbed up behind the Elf and steered the horse back in the direction of the city.
And that was were he had stayed, not really for the sake of Aragorn, but at that same time solely for him, to be close to the man that he had loved for so long. The only thing that Legolas was sure of was that he was not sure about anything - his feelings for the man would not leave him no matter how much he tried to banish them and yet he could not take that last step in leaving.
A strong gust of wind came from the south - from the sea - and Legolas spread his arms, drinking in the sent of the salty water of the sea that he was yet to see and yet to feel. Standing there, his arms open to the welcoming wind and his face turned up to the sky and yet with his eyes closed, Legolas felt a single tear snake its way down his face and over his cheek.
So caught up in his battling emotions was he, that he did not realise that someone else was on the roof with him until a pair of strong arms quickly circled around his waist and jerked him backwards, away from the edge of the roof.
Landing on his back and elbows upon the tiles with a thud, Legolas let out a startled cry ere looking up to see who his assilent was. Aragorn. His heart skipped a beat and he felt the blood rushing from his head, making him dizzy.
"Just what in the Valar's name were you doing?" the man yelled, pulling Legolas from his thoughts of the man.
Dazed by the man's harsh question, Legolas did not know what Aragorn was talking about. "What are you asking?" he queried, his words almost slurring.
The man looked angry, no, far more than angry, he looked furious. "What the hell are you doing up here?"
"Admiring the view," Legolas answered truthfully, not understanding the man's rage. It seemed that the more time he spent as king the quicker his tempers' came and went, sometimes flaring to terrifying heights.
"Damn it, Legolas, don't lie to me!" Aragorn yelled back. Suddenly, before Legolas' very eyes, Aragorn's face changed - almost crumpled - and the next time he spoke his words shook slightly, mirroring the fear that he felt. "Why would you do that? Why would you think that that was the only way out?"
Legolas stared blankly back at the man, unable to grasp what he was implying. Aragorn quickly sat down next to the Elf and pulled him into his arms, forcing the Elf to half sit in his lap. Straight away Legolas tensed, trying to pull away, but Aragorn would not let him and simply held him tighter. "Why were you going to jump?" Aragorn whispered into Legolas' pointed ear.
All at once realisation hit the Elf, the man had thought he sort to end his life by jumping off the roof! For a moment Legolas entertained the idea, sure it was one thing to die of a broken heart, but to jump? Well, compared to how it felt to slowly die from the inside, surly flying for a few moments would be a lot better.
Shaking the folly thoughts from his head Legolas once again tried to pull away from the man, but to no avail. Sighing, he looked up at the concerned eyes of the ranger and replied concisely, "I was not going to jump, Aragorn."
The once ranger looked as if he did not believe the Elf that he held, and opened his mouth to speak again, but Legolas cut him off. "I really was not going to jump. I was just here for some peace and to look upon the stars. This night, the wind was strong, and I could smell the sea and hear the cry of the gulls - I was not going to jump!" to his surprise Aragorn started to laugh. "I am yet to see what is so amusing, Aragorn." Legolas stated.
After a moment Aragorn regained his composure and spoke. "I am the amusing one," he informed Legolas, "I was so scared when I saw you - you have a way of doing that to me, you know? - and I guess I just overreacted, thinking of the worst possible situation." He looked down at Legolas, who was looking up at him with a wide-eyed expression, and started to stroke his cheek gently. "I never want to loose you, Legolas."
The man's touch shattered all the defenses that Legolas had worked so hard to build and he felt himself leaning into the calloused hand on his cheek. The warmth of the man holding him made him feel safe and brought about a happiness that he had not felt in many years.
Aragorn looked deep into the Elf's eyes, and, before Legolas could object he sealed their lips in a tender kiss. Pulling Legolas closer, Aragorn reached behind the Elf's silky blond hair and gently pushed his head to his more, deepening the kiss.
A soft, barely audible moan slipped from Legolas' lips and Aragorn took that opportunity to slip his tongue into the warmth that was the archer's mouth. Slowly Aragorn's hands ran down Legolas's back until they can to rest on his hips, pushing the Elf even closer.
Legolas felt as if he were going to melt, that all his dreams had come true. Aragorn was kissing him as if he were his lover, as if he were Arwen - the thought of her suddenly jerked him from his paradise and Legolas felt as if he would be sick.
Summoning all his strength and courage, he reached his arms up to Aragorn's chest and pushed hard, forgetting that the man had a strong hold on his lower back.
Aragorn fell backwards, pulling Legolas with him so that the prince was right on top of the human. A sly smile crept onto Aragorn's face as he again sealed their lips in a needy kiss, wanting more of the Elf with each passing minute.
Tugging desperately at the hands that held him in place, Legolas tried to escape the ranger's mouth and invading tongue.
After what seemed like an eternity Aragorn seemed to notice that something was wrong and withdrew his mouth, sending a puzzled look at the Elf that still lay on his chest.
"What's wrong?" he asked quietly as Legolas extracted himself fully from the human's embrace.
"We can not - I can not!" the Elf whispered while heading for the window that he used to access the rooftop.
Aragorn could not believe his ears, especially since he was sure that Legolas had more then friendly feelings towards him. "Legolas, wait!" he yelled after the Elf, who kept walking. Covering the distance between them with a few quick steps, Aragorn grabbed the Elf's arm and turned Legolas to face him.
Legolas struggled as much as he could without hurting the man, but when Aragorn pinned both his arms to his sides he was forced to just glare at his friend. "Let me go, Aragorn." It sounded weak even to him, but he hoped that it would get through to the man.
"Legolas?" Aragorn breathed while searching his friend's eyes for the answers to what was troubling him so. "Why do you run?"
"Is it not obvious?" Legolas answered, his eyes still locked with Aragorn's. He felt as if, through those deep, grey eyes, he could be anyone, be anywhere and that Aragorn had complete control over him. Like the human could read his soul and bend it at will. For the first time in his life, Legolas realised that he was slightly scared of the intensity of those eyes - or was it the man that they belonged to?
"Nay, 'tis not obvious." Aragorn replied, careful not to break eye contact. "Now tell me what bothers you so, I thought you wanted this."
Legolas could not bring himself to answer the man, not really knowing what to say even if he could find his voice. It was true, he did want this, he wanted it more than anything he had ever wanted in his entire life - and that was a long time - but it did not feel right. Here he was, on the roof with the man that he had loved for years, Aragorn making the first move, yet Arwen and Aragorn's small child were down stairs, celebrating a birthday. It was just wrong.
"Think of Arwen." was all he said, not trusting himself to say anymore.
"What of her?' Aragorn breathed against Legolas' lips, brushing them with his own and flicking his tongue over the princes full bottom lip. Legolas closed his eyes and sighed in pleasure and all too soon for him to stop the man, Aragorn was kissing him again, pressing their bodies together. Legolas became aware of a large bulge in the ranger's pants, just as he was aware of his own.
When Aragorn finally released their lips for a much needed breath of air Legolas found himself weakly protesting again. "We can not."
"Why not?" Aragorn demanded, "you want this, just as I do, so why must we fight it? Arwen will not care, she has taken her own lover, so why not us?"
Aragorn's demanding tone pushed any thoughts of the two together that still remained out of his head, and he found himself angry. "What are you saying? You two are so happy - your son?" Legolas didn't understand any of this and more than ever he wanted to be out of the man's arms.
"We have not been happy for a long time now, my dear," Aragorn said soothingly, "her affections have fallen elsewhere, just as mine have." Aragorn looked straight at Legolas when speaking the last part, and the Elf knew that he was the one to have captured the man's heart. "Now, let us both have what we wish, for I do know you want this."
Again the rage overtook Legolas. This was not what he wanted, it should not have been this way and he had every intention of telling Aragorn that. "Aye, I may want this, I may have dreamed about it for many a year, but I refuse to be used as a way to get back at Arwen. I will be no man's whore!"
At his fiery words Aragorn drew back, completely surprised. "Legolas, 'tis not like that, not like that at all."
"Is it not? Do not tell me that you do not want a way to get back at Arwen, that you do not dream of it night after night! I will be no man's sport, Aragorn, you of all people should know that!" Legolas was yelling now and unable to control the quiver in his voice.
"I swear, it is not that. Aye, I do want revenge on Arwen for she hurt me beyond words, but you, you are not that revenge, you are -"
"The comfort? The one to run to when all else gets bad but the one that was not good enough when there was a prospect of something better? Is that what I am?"
"Legolas, stop it! You know perfectly well that that is not what you are." Aragorn's own voice raised into a shout and the man seemed surprised at himself. Quickly swallowing his anger, he softened his tone, trying to sooth the Elf. "You are the one that I loved even before getting betrothed to Arwen, but the one I could not be with due to my duty as a king!"
Legolas was momentarily shocked at the man's words, yet it lasted only a moment. Forcing himself to stay to his anger, to not let himself get talked into anything that he would always regret, he pushed down the tingly feeling that had started to spread through him, and glared at the man anew.
"Do not attempt to win me over with folly words full of love and incontempt!" he hissed, "I thought that I was worth more than that to you, Aragorn."
"You are, if you would just let me show you. If you would heed my words instead of pushing me away!"
"I am not pushing you away -"
"Yes you are!" Aragorn cut in, "you are because you are afraid. Why are you so afraid to let this happen?"
Legolas bit his lip, not wishing to tell the man the truth. How could he tell Aragorn that he had now discovered that he was afraid of him? How could he say that, even though he wanted this to happen so much that he was worried that they would both regret it in the morning? How could he confess to the human that he was terrified to get close, knowing that one day soon, Aragorn would die and then Legolas would be alone with his grief, and that that grief would be even more after having the man than what it was now? And of the sea? It's call was getting stronger and stronger and every night Legolas found it harder and harder to resist the claming waters that lapped against the shore to the south. What of Arwen? How could he ever face her again if he allowed this to happen, and what of Aragorn's son? There were just too many questions that could not be answered, even with such an act.
Aragorn pulled Legolas even closer, as if he wanted them to mould into one and Legolas found himself pulling away. Unwrapping the arms that were around him, Legolas took a step back, avoiding Aragorn's intense gaze. The human reached for him with a look of desperation on his face, wanting Legolas to understand but the prince took another step backwards.
"I am sorry, Aragorn - Estel - my friend, but we can not. I will not allow it - for both your sake as well as mine." Then turning so Aragorn would not see the tears that were forming in his eyes, Legolas ran, jumped through the window quicker than he ever had and was out of sight.
Aragorn sighed and cursed out loud ere running as quickly as possible, due to the fact that he was on a roof, after the Elf.
He caught up with him just outside Legolas' bedroom. The Elf was about walk in through his door when Aragorn came up behind him and slammed it shut, putting himself in between the archer and the door.
"Arago -" Legolas' enraged protests were silenced by a firm and possessive kiss as the man shoved him roughly up against the wall.
*****
And I don't want you, to be by my side. And tell me that every thing's all right.
I just wanted you to tell me the truth. You know I'd do that for you.
*****
Tbc.
*Glares at all you people* you have corrupted me!! I have become a slash writer - I mean I have a few now and - and - I need someone to blame!!!!
Anyway, I hope you liked that and I will try to continue it as soon as possible - as well as all my other stories. *wanders off aimlessly to watch Lord of the Rings again while thanking the goddess that the 'pause' button was discovered so she can watch Aragorn grab Legolas at the destruction of the Mines of Moria.*
Minka Rain Greenleaf.