Chapter 13: Pranks and Pleas
"You can't hand this in, Uric," said Mena, thrusting a parchment under Uric's nose. He looked up from where he had been attempting to bore a hole in the table with his eyes. He had been trying for the past half hour, though he really wasn't sure if Madame Dilwen, the librarian, would approve. She had already told him off once for giving his History of Magic textbook legs. He had tried to explain that it was his book and that it just wanted to roam free, but she didn't seem to be listening.
"Pardon?" he said looking at Mena with a puzzled expression. They were in the library doing some essays that were due the next day, though Louis was the only one who was really working at the moment. Mena was executing her self appointed duty to edit Uric's papers and make sure nothing too strange made it through to the professors. Uric was just trying to figure out if Madame Dilwen would mind him giving his text book arms instead.
"Your Transfiguration essay," said Mena, speaking slowly in the hopes that Uric would understand. "The first part of it is okay, but then…" She trailed off. Uric was just giving her a polite but blank smile, and she had to resist the urge to hit him over the head with his own essay. She took a deep breath. "Listen to this, 'Transforming a human being into an inanimate object is considered one of the hardest forms of transfiguration second to self transfiguration. I tried turning myself into a badger yesterday, but although the other badgers didn't say anything, I think they could tell I wasn't one. Maybe I will try a bird tomorrow.'" Mena stopped reading to stare pointedly at him.
"It wasn't a good example?" asked Uric, trying to figure out what had been wrong with the essay. Louis looked up from his own writing, a smile on his face.
"I think you should let him hand it in, Mena. Professor Leonard would appreciate his attempt at research." Mena scowled at him.
"We'd be lucky if he thought it was a joke," she said, and dropped the parchment in front of Uric. "Use an example from a book, not your own experience." Uric frowned at her, then down at the parchment. He thought the badger transformation was his best point.
"Here," said Louis, passing a small vial over to him. "You can use my ink eraser potion. Just be careful not to get it on your fingers. It'll erase them too." Uric was giving the potion a delighted look and Louis wondered if he wasn't making a mistake.
"Excuse me," said a voice. Louis looked up. It was a Gryffindor. It took him a moment to recognize which particular Gryffindor. Alexander Lupin. The golden hair and pale skin gave him away.
"Someone wants you, Uric," said Louis, keeping his voice casual. Alexis had declared Alexander a person non grata to the other first-year Slytherins along with all the other first-year Gryffindors. Louis didn't think he would treat his brother that way, no matter what house he landed in, but then, Louis was an only child. Alexander shook his head at Uric when he looked up from playing with the eraser potion.
"I don't want to talk to you," he said firmly, than coloured when Uric frowned at him. "I mean, I do want to talk to you, just not at the moment. I need to talk to Louis." Louis winced. This was not going to be good. Uric went back to the potion.
"Yes?" Louis said, keeping his eyes focused on a place somewhere beyond Uric's left shoulder. Alexis ignored him most of the time, for all he was from a highly influential family, but if word got out that he was chatting with her brother…
"You're a Slytherin," said Alexander. Louis rolled his eyes.
"Yes, and I have black hair. Can we stop stating the obvious here?"
"I need you to talk to Alexis for me," said Alexander in a rush, as if he were afraid Louis was going to turn him away if he didn't speak fast enough. Louis was certainly tempted to.
"Why?" he asked instead.
"She won't talk to me. Over the holidays, she wouldn't even acknowledge me as her brother. Well, except in front of our parents. With them she was all sweet and polite like she usually is." Mena snorted rather loudly from across the table and Louis glanced at her. He had forgotten she was there.
"Alexis is never sweet and polite," said Mena pointedly. "You're better off without her anyway." Alexander shrugged.
"She's my sister, and it wasn't always this bad. She's just very good at getting what she wants." He focused back on Louis. "Will you talk to her for me?"
"No. Send her an owl, or a howler if you prefer."
"But why won't you?" asked Alexander desperately. Louis could feel his quill bending in his hands and forced himself to relax his grip.
"Have you seen Seraph Cazher lately?" he asked. Alexander looked puzzled.
"The red-headed girl? She's in the hospital wing. A Potion's accident right?" he hazarded a guess. Louis nodded his head.
"Yes, a Potion's accident set by your sister because Seraph has the equal misfortune of being exceptionally pretty as well as acid tongued. She never knows when to stop and went a bit too far." He paused to let the knowledge sink in. "You would probably get along well with her," said Louis speculatively. Alexander looked angrily at him.
"I'm Alexis' brother. She wouldn't treat me like that." Louis noticed that he didn't deny that Alexis would do something like that to Seraph.
"You're a Gryffindor," said Louis.
"Now who's pointing out the obvious?" said Alexander triumphantly. Louis rolled his eyes.
"It's not obvious if one of us doesn't get the point." Louis turned away from the boy and attempted to focus on his Herbology assignment, willing Alexander to leave and knowing that the boy was frowning at his back. He was distracted when he realized that Uric had erased half of the table during their discussion.
"You're really scared of Alexis aren't you?" asked Mena from across the remains of the table. Louis risked a quick glance behind him and saw that Alexander was gone.
"Not scared, just wary. Alexis can make my life for the next seven years horrible, just like she's doing right now to Seraph," he said by way of explanation. Mena got a gleam in her eye that Louis had learned to dread over the Christmas holidays.
"Why don't you make her life a bit miserable then? I have a great plan." She seemed very confident.
"I'm sure it is," said Louis and attempted to change the subject. "You know Madame Dilwen is going to kill you, Uric." Uric looked up from where he was selectively erasing parts of the table to create a rather accurate self-portrait. Uric opened his mouth to say something, but Mena spoke first.
"All we need are a few ingredients and Uric's potion brewing expertise. What do you think, Uric?"
"Do you think it's possible for floors to be ticklish? They'd be tickled every time we walk on them, but how would they laugh? Maybe when the floors shake it's when they're actually laughing. Oh, and what happens when we run, or when we dance?" Louis almost explained to Uric that the floors of Hogwarts didn't shake (well, most of them) and were not ticklish, but realized it would do no good. Mena however gave him a triumphant look.
"See? He agrees," she said. Louis rolled his eyes.
"Since when has babble about floors qualified as agreement?" he asked.
"Since we met Uric," she said and Louis was hard pressed to disagree with her.
They left the library a little later, after discussing the details of the plan. It would take a few days to brew the potion, but none of the ingredients were unusual enough to require their special attainment. The potion was hard to brew true, but Uric was capable of making it, even if they did have to agree to go 'laughing floor' hunting with him so that he would concentrate enough to brew it.
A few hours later, Madame Dilwen wondered where half of one of her tables had gotten to and why what was left looked like someone she knew.
*****
Three days later, they put Mena's plan, with a bit of modification by Louis, into motion. The halls were crowded when the classes changed and it was not an uncommon sight to see Alexis standing outside one of the classrooms, chatting happily with a professor and twirling a strand of hair around her finger. Uric couldn't figure out why he had been told to watch her, but he did, standing in the middle of the corridor and making the students pass around him.
Professor Leonard went back into his classroom, and Alexis began to walk towards Uric. He looked away from her and began to concentrate very hard like Mena and Louis had asked him to. He chanted to himself very softly and clutched his wand tightly. The pressure in the corridor changed slightly and the students began giving the air around them funny looks. There was a breath of wind that brought with it a fresh smell and small clouds began to form above Uric's head. He kept chanting, but backed up towards one wall.
The small clouds joined up to form big ones and soon the whole ceiling was a roiling mass of dark storm clouds. The students were already panicking and attempting to get out of the crowded but narrow corridor when the rain began. It came down in a torrent, soaking the students through their robes. And then the lightening started.
The shrieks were beginning to bother Uric and he grimaced as someone kicked his shin in an attempt to get past. A flash of lightening sent little white glowing shapes dancing across his eyes, which is why he missed Louis casually pouring a potion through a makeshift colander onto Alexis' head.
Professor Leonard was able to push past the students and out of the classroom. With a few words he banished the storm, and the layer of water on the floor. However, he couldn't do much about drying so many students and sent most of them to their common rooms to change while he informed the Headmistress.
An investigation by Mr. Kurze declared the storm a freak incident of the kind that was all too common in a castle of Hogwart's age and level of magical intensity.
*****
The next day, the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins were leaving Charms. Most of them were in a bad mood after attempting a particularly difficult sleeping charm. A few of them were dozing on their friend's shoulders as an after effect. Alexis strode ahead of them, and those who were dozing were awakened abruptly by a horrendous wail.
Uric stared in confusion with the rest of the class as all their lose possessions – quills, books, sweets and other handy objects including one very confused owl – began to swirl in a growing mayhem about Alexis. More and more things were attracted to her from all over the school and the class was forced to duck as random objects came flying through the corridors to dance around their chosen mistress.
It grew so bad that Uric could no longer see Alexis through the maelstrom, though he could hear her yelling in fury. She was attempting to curse the objects away, but they didn't seem to want to leave. Uric watched carefully in the hopes of seeing a badger. He was disappointed, though he did see a portrait of Helga Hufflepuff fly by. The rest of the class alternated between gaping at their flying belongings or sniggering uncontrollably at the mess Alexis had gotten herself into.
Professor Thacher attempted to end the spell, but nothing he cast had any effect. A student was sent to fetch the Headmistress, and she tried to end the spell as well. However, soon after she arrived the storm of objects died down and Alexis was revealed standing in a bare patch of corridor. Miscellaneous objects piled all around her to form a wall that was blasted away by a sweep of Mrs. Kurze's wand.
Alexis face was red, her hair was dishevelled and her robes were askew, but she looked unhurt. No one laughed, though that was mostly because she was sending a disoriented but very angry glare their way. Alexis was led away to the infirmary to assure her good health and the students were told to disperse by a very cross looking Mrs. Kurze.
As soon as they were out of sight, the class started talking. Everyone was at a loss to explain what had happened, but they had to agree it was the most exciting and/or amusing thing they had seen in a long time. Uric had forgotten about the incident by lunch time, though the rest of the school hadn't. It was what everyone talked about for the rest of the day. Uric didn't mind, though he did wonder why Mena kept smiling and breaking into giggles for no reason.
Mr. Kurze was once again forced to conclude that Alexis' experience was just another of the vagaries of living in such a magically endowed place as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
*****
Uric sat up in his bed and promptly banged his head. It took him a moment to realize that this was because he was comfortably ensconced under the bed. Rubbing his forehead, he rolled out from under the bed. The 'sleep under the bed to make sure the pudding didn't get under there' idea probably hadn't been one of his best. After all, if he was under the bed, what was to stop the pudding from getting on top of the bed? He froze in a crouch and glanced warily at the empty mattress beside him. No pudding. Though there was a piece of parchment. Uric started to breath again.
He brushed the dust off of himself, than pulled on some trousers and a loose jumper. He picked up his robe, turned it upside down so the sleeves trailed on the floor and attempted to put it on. He was able to get his legs into the sleeves but he couldn't seem to find a reason for the large hole in between them. After much thought, he finally gave up and pulled the robe on over his head since he hadn't bothered to undo the clasp the day before. As an afterthought, he picked up the piece of parchment on his bed and stuffed it in his pocket.
Everything was ready for the day, except…Simon! Uric walked over to the head of his bed where his bird-lizard's cage usually lay. The cage was still there, but the cloth covering it had fallen to the floor and the door was ajar. Simon was gone.
*****
I took a break from essays yesterday to write this…Don't worry. Most of the next chapter is written (it's really long too…) and will be put up as soon as I put the finishing touches on it:)
Thank you to all my reviewers: Tidmag, Selenity and Pure Night, Chad-Catsmeat, thistlemeg, Em, NM (Narcissa Malfoy), Giesbrecht, Gred Weasley, Kath, Mad Potter, Ozma, aurielo, Albert and Crydwyn.
Tidmag: I see that Uric has been affecting you…:)
Em: I think we could all use a bit of Uric in our lives don't you think? It certainly would make life interesting:)
NM (Narcissa Malfoy): Uric's father is definitely for keeping the existing Council system, after all, there's been a Beaufolle on the council since 1128…
Chad-Catsmeat: Mr. Kurze wants to see the mysterious woman so much because she's an intruder at Hogwarts who appears to be bypassing some of its basic protections. He's concerned with keeping the students safe, especially Uric since the woman seems to follow him around. As for the Bloody Baron, all will be explained…eventually.
Albert: I think it's just part of my writing style that I like to describe how the other people in a conversation are responding to the person speaking, but starting a new paragraph each time I do that would get cumbersome. I just work harder these days at identifying who is speaking and hope it works:)
Please review. If anyone wants to be placed on the list of people I email when I update please let me know in your review as well. Thanks.