*Well. This is really going nowhere, as usual. might actually get to see
some Sorcerer Hunters characters this time. *
SCENE II
Enter Capulet (CARROT), Paris (KURAMA), and Servant (TENCHI, Tenchi Muyo)
Carrot: Bloody idiot Montagues. What do they think I am, some kind of old screwball?
Kurama: (sighing) I'm sure you're both honourable men. Surely you can manage to stop bickering over where to put the new golf course.
Carrot: I will never surrender that golf course to Anotsu. that golf course. with its clubhouse. and it's waitresses. 'n their little frilly aprons. duh huh huh.I can't stand it.
Kurama: (looks faintly horrified)
Carrot: But enough of this banter! Want to marry my son, you pretty young thing, you?
Kurama: (with infinite patience) I'm a guy.
Carrot: Heh heh, good one, Miss! (slaps Kurama on the bum) Well, how about it baby?
Kurama: (cautiously) How about. what?
Carrot: Marrying my Marron, of course!
Kurama: Phew. Er. but don't you think-
Carrot: Not very often!
Kurama: (stalling) I mean. We're both only 16. we should wait until-
Carrot: (oblivious) Nonsense! That's no problem, you're both mature, responsible. let's have a party to celebrate! Ooh, with serving girls and dancing girls and alcohol and other kinds of girls! Tonight! Tenchi!
Tenchi: (who has been dozing off in the corner) Huh?
Carrot: (scribbling) Here, go invite all these girls to my party! Yay!
Exuent Carrot, dragging Kurama with him.
Tenchi: What now? I can't read this terrible writing. I guess I'll just hang around here.
Enter Benvolio (HIEI) and Romeo (KANEDA)
Benvolio: Stop whining you big baby. I'm not about to explain the fundamental differences between men and women for you! I told you Rune is a guy.
Romeo: Awww.
Tenchi: Hi guys.
Kaneda: Hey Tenchi. What's up?
Tenchi: I can't read this writing. Can you have a go?
Kaneda: Heh heh, I can barely read at all!
Tenchi: What about you, Hiei? (thrusts paper at him)
Hiei: I could set fire to it for you. Oh give it here. Ahem:
'Any girls. Any at all. Especially Nuriko and Rune. And Manji and Kenshin I s'pose. It's party time!' Hn. Looks like he has your problem, Kaneda.
Kaneda: What problem?
Tenchi: Thanks. Don't bother coming, it'll be rubbish. Kaneda won't get in anyway 'cos he's a Montague and an idiot.
Hiei: That's certainly true.
Tenchi: See you then.
Exit Tenchi
Hiei: I take it you want to go to this party.
Kaneda: (drooling) Nuriko..
Hiei: I'll take that as a yes, then. Okay, I'll show you what a real female looks like. We'll view this as an educational experience.
Kaneda: Duh huh huh.
Hiei: And then I'll kill you.
Exuent.
SCENE III
A room in the Capulet's house. Juliet (MARRON) is on the floor reading Cosmopolitan with apparent enjoyment; the Nurse (DILANDAU) is on the bed quietly torturing quite small mice.
Enter Lady Capulet (MILLE FEUILLE)
Mille: Marron! Where are- oh, there you are. Dilandau, put those down.
Dilandau: (sulks)
Mille: Your father wants you to get married. Next week.
Marron: Erk.
Mille: Exactly. Now I know you're only sixteen - (aside to Dilandau) That's right, isn't it?
Dilandau: How the feck should I know?
Mille: Well anyway. Your father wants you to marry. and as usual he's picked a boy. You know what he's like, he just can't tell. except with me, he can tell I'm a guy, god knows how.
Dilandau: It's because you keep getting into bed with him.
Mille: Good point! Anyway, he wants you to meet him, so he's having one of his parties tonight.
Marron: (does the eyebrow crease thing that shows he's worried) Oh dear. Um. who is it?
Mille: Well, his name is Kurama.
Marron: (brightens up) Kurama?
Mille: So just put him off if-
Marron: Hmmm.maybe not..
Mille: Okay then! What're you going to wear?
Dilandau: Well he basically has a selection of white robes with front fastening, white robes with side fastening, and white robes with gold toggles for that party look.
Marron: (brushing hair lovingly) Ah, the agony of choice.
Mille: Ah, my little baby, all grown up! Do you remember what a pretty little boy he was, Nurse?
Dilandau: (still sulking) No. He was a little brat and he used to cry all the time and wear a dress. That'll be your influence, Mille.
Mille: (happy smile)
Enter a Serving man (TENCHI again)
Tenchi: Mille, it's dinnertime, your husband's drunk already, the guests are here, Nuriko Rune and Kurama are playing with each other's hair and I'm being chased by manic space pirates. Please hurry down, I can't cope!
Mille: Coming!
Exit Tenchi.
Dilandau: Well let's go if we're going.
Marron: (smiles faintly- a sure sign of enjoyment) Okay then.
Exuent.
SCENE II
Enter Capulet (CARROT), Paris (KURAMA), and Servant (TENCHI, Tenchi Muyo)
Carrot: Bloody idiot Montagues. What do they think I am, some kind of old screwball?
Kurama: (sighing) I'm sure you're both honourable men. Surely you can manage to stop bickering over where to put the new golf course.
Carrot: I will never surrender that golf course to Anotsu. that golf course. with its clubhouse. and it's waitresses. 'n their little frilly aprons. duh huh huh.I can't stand it.
Kurama: (looks faintly horrified)
Carrot: But enough of this banter! Want to marry my son, you pretty young thing, you?
Kurama: (with infinite patience) I'm a guy.
Carrot: Heh heh, good one, Miss! (slaps Kurama on the bum) Well, how about it baby?
Kurama: (cautiously) How about. what?
Carrot: Marrying my Marron, of course!
Kurama: Phew. Er. but don't you think-
Carrot: Not very often!
Kurama: (stalling) I mean. We're both only 16. we should wait until-
Carrot: (oblivious) Nonsense! That's no problem, you're both mature, responsible. let's have a party to celebrate! Ooh, with serving girls and dancing girls and alcohol and other kinds of girls! Tonight! Tenchi!
Tenchi: (who has been dozing off in the corner) Huh?
Carrot: (scribbling) Here, go invite all these girls to my party! Yay!
Exuent Carrot, dragging Kurama with him.
Tenchi: What now? I can't read this terrible writing. I guess I'll just hang around here.
Enter Benvolio (HIEI) and Romeo (KANEDA)
Benvolio: Stop whining you big baby. I'm not about to explain the fundamental differences between men and women for you! I told you Rune is a guy.
Romeo: Awww.
Tenchi: Hi guys.
Kaneda: Hey Tenchi. What's up?
Tenchi: I can't read this writing. Can you have a go?
Kaneda: Heh heh, I can barely read at all!
Tenchi: What about you, Hiei? (thrusts paper at him)
Hiei: I could set fire to it for you. Oh give it here. Ahem:
'Any girls. Any at all. Especially Nuriko and Rune. And Manji and Kenshin I s'pose. It's party time!' Hn. Looks like he has your problem, Kaneda.
Kaneda: What problem?
Tenchi: Thanks. Don't bother coming, it'll be rubbish. Kaneda won't get in anyway 'cos he's a Montague and an idiot.
Hiei: That's certainly true.
Tenchi: See you then.
Exit Tenchi
Hiei: I take it you want to go to this party.
Kaneda: (drooling) Nuriko..
Hiei: I'll take that as a yes, then. Okay, I'll show you what a real female looks like. We'll view this as an educational experience.
Kaneda: Duh huh huh.
Hiei: And then I'll kill you.
Exuent.
SCENE III
A room in the Capulet's house. Juliet (MARRON) is on the floor reading Cosmopolitan with apparent enjoyment; the Nurse (DILANDAU) is on the bed quietly torturing quite small mice.
Enter Lady Capulet (MILLE FEUILLE)
Mille: Marron! Where are- oh, there you are. Dilandau, put those down.
Dilandau: (sulks)
Mille: Your father wants you to get married. Next week.
Marron: Erk.
Mille: Exactly. Now I know you're only sixteen - (aside to Dilandau) That's right, isn't it?
Dilandau: How the feck should I know?
Mille: Well anyway. Your father wants you to marry. and as usual he's picked a boy. You know what he's like, he just can't tell. except with me, he can tell I'm a guy, god knows how.
Dilandau: It's because you keep getting into bed with him.
Mille: Good point! Anyway, he wants you to meet him, so he's having one of his parties tonight.
Marron: (does the eyebrow crease thing that shows he's worried) Oh dear. Um. who is it?
Mille: Well, his name is Kurama.
Marron: (brightens up) Kurama?
Mille: So just put him off if-
Marron: Hmmm.maybe not..
Mille: Okay then! What're you going to wear?
Dilandau: Well he basically has a selection of white robes with front fastening, white robes with side fastening, and white robes with gold toggles for that party look.
Marron: (brushing hair lovingly) Ah, the agony of choice.
Mille: Ah, my little baby, all grown up! Do you remember what a pretty little boy he was, Nurse?
Dilandau: (still sulking) No. He was a little brat and he used to cry all the time and wear a dress. That'll be your influence, Mille.
Mille: (happy smile)
Enter a Serving man (TENCHI again)
Tenchi: Mille, it's dinnertime, your husband's drunk already, the guests are here, Nuriko Rune and Kurama are playing with each other's hair and I'm being chased by manic space pirates. Please hurry down, I can't cope!
Mille: Coming!
Exit Tenchi.
Dilandau: Well let's go if we're going.
Marron: (smiles faintly- a sure sign of enjoyment) Okay then.
Exuent.