Live Life Like There's No Tomorrow
"MOMMY! MOMMY! SpongeBob is on! Its on!" Four-year-old Emma screamed at the top of her lungs. Rachel walked from the kitchen to the living room.
"It sure is." She said laughing at her daughter's excitement about a sponge that lives in a pineapple on a cartoon. She sat down by Emma who was screaming the theme song loudly. Rachel wanted to plug her ears, but knew if Emma saw, she would get upset. Emma had already decided that she was going to be a Superstar. A superstar, a rock climber, a horeyback rider, a cook, a princess and a 'vet-wan-awian.' Rachel just prayed that puberty would change her voice for the better. Rachel looked down at her daughter and stroked her dark brown hair. She smiled subtly. She missed Ross.
"Well, it's time for you to go to Aunt Monica's for daycare." Rachel said as she ticked Emma. Emma squealed in delight. Rachel picked her daughter up and put her coat on.
"I love you mommy."
"I love you too, Emmy."
Rachel stepped into her office. She was so tired. It was hard to be a single mother. She never knew how all the other mothers did so. She looked at the office, it was swamped. Then she looked over at Abby, the bitchy head woman in sales. Abby was sitting down in her chair, flipping through a magazine. She looked up and Rachel.
"Hey, Rachel? Before we start our day, could you stock the printer and the copier with paper?" Rachel just stared at her, her mouth agape.
Sure since you're doing so much." She snapped at her. Abby went back to her magazine, and Rachel stomped off. Rachel's day didn't end there, she had the biggest schedule in the place, and Abby only had to make a few sales calls sporadically throughout the day. She was so frustrated, but finally lunch came and she sat down to eat. She was having a nice conversation with Catherine, a lady in reservations, and they were joking and trading toddler comments. Rachel smiled whenever she mentioned Emma.
"Yea, My daughter is 18 now, but when she was younger, it was a strict relationship. There was no leeway in that." Catherine had noted. Rachel looked at her and smiled.
"Really? Cause Emma's got to be my best friend." Catherine's mouth dropped and she immediately began to shake her head.
"No, no, you can't be best friends."
"And why not?"
"Because, if you think you two are best friends, she's walking all over you. Believe me, it needs to be a parent CHILD relationship now." She said rudely. Rachel looked at her with a dirty look.
"Excuse me, but Emma is four years old.."
"That's when it starts." She cut her off curtly.
"Hey, no, Emma is my best friend. She is a good girl, I don't know what sad kids you have, but Emma is sweet and we love each other very much." She said defensively. She stood up and slammed the top on her food. "Thanks for a great lunch though." She said sarcastically and exited.
Rachel entered Monica's apartment at six. She was an hour late because she had to make more sales calls when she tripped Abby and Abby had to go to the hospital. She was greeted with a hug at her waist.
"Hi Mommy!" Emma yelled. She began to yell things that happened to her that day, but Rachel just nodded, not even knowing what she was talking about. Monica walked over to Rachel.
"She asked about him again today. I didn't know what to say." Monica whispered sadly. Rachel nodded.
"Did you feed her dinner?" She asked Monica. Monica nodded, cleaning the dishes off the table. "Was it just you two?" Rachel asked, noting that no one else was there.
"Yea, Chandler took Bailey to a hockey game. Emma was invited, but she just sat over at the window all day. I asked her what she was doing, and she told me that heaven was crying." Monica smiled. Rachel did too. She saw it was raining, heaven's tears, according to Emma. She smiled and picked Emma up.
"I'll see you later Mon, give my love to Chandler and Bailey."
"Will do."
"Mommy! You fell asleep again!" Emma's yell shot Rachel up again.
"What?"
"You fell asleep mommy." She cried. Rachel sat up.
"Okay, where were we?" Emma pointed to a random place on the book. "A ha. Okay. Then little miss muffet sat on her ennsi weensy spider went up the world so high like a diamond in the sky, not I know my ABC's next time won't you sing with me." She finished. Emma just stared at her.
"That didn't sound right." She said simply. Rachel laughed.
"Was it a good enough story though?" She asked hopefully.
"It was great." Rachel smiled and kissed her daughter's head.
"I have to go to bed Sweetie."
"Mommy, where's daddy?" Rachel tried to smile, but she missed him so much.
"You know where daddy is." She said gently.
"Tell me again. And what he's doing right now." It was a game that Rachel and Emma had created. Every time Emma missed Ross, Rachel would close her eyes and tell Emma exactly what he was doing and where he was. Sometimes if Emma saw Rachel looking sad, she would do it too. She would be like, 'Daddy's in a car, listening to the radio.' It always helped Emma, but for Rachel, it was a little harder to convince. To Emma, Ross was on an extended vacation. For Rachel, he was dead.
Rachel had tried to explain death to Emma, but Emma just didn't understand. She always had more questions that Rachel really didn't know how to answer. She sat down at the end of the bed.
"Close your eyes." Rachel said. "Daddy is in his bed, trying to sleep, but he can't because he misses you too much, so he is looking at a picture of you, and how grown up are, and how much he loves you and wouldn't ever leave us on purpose. He knows you want to see him, but is too far away. But he can see you. And he loves you more everyday." Emma opened her eyes. She looked at Rachel who had tears running down her face.
"Mommy, is daddy coming back?" Rachel shook her head.
"Daddy can't come back. He's God's right hand Angel, and he is your guarding angel."
"I love you mommy."
"I love you too sweetie."
Rachel stood and walked out of Emma's room, closing the door quietly behind her.
"MOMMY! MOMMY! SpongeBob is on! Its on!" Four-year-old Emma screamed at the top of her lungs. Rachel walked from the kitchen to the living room.
"It sure is." She said laughing at her daughter's excitement about a sponge that lives in a pineapple on a cartoon. She sat down by Emma who was screaming the theme song loudly. Rachel wanted to plug her ears, but knew if Emma saw, she would get upset. Emma had already decided that she was going to be a Superstar. A superstar, a rock climber, a horeyback rider, a cook, a princess and a 'vet-wan-awian.' Rachel just prayed that puberty would change her voice for the better. Rachel looked down at her daughter and stroked her dark brown hair. She smiled subtly. She missed Ross.
"Well, it's time for you to go to Aunt Monica's for daycare." Rachel said as she ticked Emma. Emma squealed in delight. Rachel picked her daughter up and put her coat on.
"I love you mommy."
"I love you too, Emmy."
Rachel stepped into her office. She was so tired. It was hard to be a single mother. She never knew how all the other mothers did so. She looked at the office, it was swamped. Then she looked over at Abby, the bitchy head woman in sales. Abby was sitting down in her chair, flipping through a magazine. She looked up and Rachel.
"Hey, Rachel? Before we start our day, could you stock the printer and the copier with paper?" Rachel just stared at her, her mouth agape.
Sure since you're doing so much." She snapped at her. Abby went back to her magazine, and Rachel stomped off. Rachel's day didn't end there, she had the biggest schedule in the place, and Abby only had to make a few sales calls sporadically throughout the day. She was so frustrated, but finally lunch came and she sat down to eat. She was having a nice conversation with Catherine, a lady in reservations, and they were joking and trading toddler comments. Rachel smiled whenever she mentioned Emma.
"Yea, My daughter is 18 now, but when she was younger, it was a strict relationship. There was no leeway in that." Catherine had noted. Rachel looked at her and smiled.
"Really? Cause Emma's got to be my best friend." Catherine's mouth dropped and she immediately began to shake her head.
"No, no, you can't be best friends."
"And why not?"
"Because, if you think you two are best friends, she's walking all over you. Believe me, it needs to be a parent CHILD relationship now." She said rudely. Rachel looked at her with a dirty look.
"Excuse me, but Emma is four years old.."
"That's when it starts." She cut her off curtly.
"Hey, no, Emma is my best friend. She is a good girl, I don't know what sad kids you have, but Emma is sweet and we love each other very much." She said defensively. She stood up and slammed the top on her food. "Thanks for a great lunch though." She said sarcastically and exited.
Rachel entered Monica's apartment at six. She was an hour late because she had to make more sales calls when she tripped Abby and Abby had to go to the hospital. She was greeted with a hug at her waist.
"Hi Mommy!" Emma yelled. She began to yell things that happened to her that day, but Rachel just nodded, not even knowing what she was talking about. Monica walked over to Rachel.
"She asked about him again today. I didn't know what to say." Monica whispered sadly. Rachel nodded.
"Did you feed her dinner?" She asked Monica. Monica nodded, cleaning the dishes off the table. "Was it just you two?" Rachel asked, noting that no one else was there.
"Yea, Chandler took Bailey to a hockey game. Emma was invited, but she just sat over at the window all day. I asked her what she was doing, and she told me that heaven was crying." Monica smiled. Rachel did too. She saw it was raining, heaven's tears, according to Emma. She smiled and picked Emma up.
"I'll see you later Mon, give my love to Chandler and Bailey."
"Will do."
"Mommy! You fell asleep again!" Emma's yell shot Rachel up again.
"What?"
"You fell asleep mommy." She cried. Rachel sat up.
"Okay, where were we?" Emma pointed to a random place on the book. "A ha. Okay. Then little miss muffet sat on her ennsi weensy spider went up the world so high like a diamond in the sky, not I know my ABC's next time won't you sing with me." She finished. Emma just stared at her.
"That didn't sound right." She said simply. Rachel laughed.
"Was it a good enough story though?" She asked hopefully.
"It was great." Rachel smiled and kissed her daughter's head.
"I have to go to bed Sweetie."
"Mommy, where's daddy?" Rachel tried to smile, but she missed him so much.
"You know where daddy is." She said gently.
"Tell me again. And what he's doing right now." It was a game that Rachel and Emma had created. Every time Emma missed Ross, Rachel would close her eyes and tell Emma exactly what he was doing and where he was. Sometimes if Emma saw Rachel looking sad, she would do it too. She would be like, 'Daddy's in a car, listening to the radio.' It always helped Emma, but for Rachel, it was a little harder to convince. To Emma, Ross was on an extended vacation. For Rachel, he was dead.
Rachel had tried to explain death to Emma, but Emma just didn't understand. She always had more questions that Rachel really didn't know how to answer. She sat down at the end of the bed.
"Close your eyes." Rachel said. "Daddy is in his bed, trying to sleep, but he can't because he misses you too much, so he is looking at a picture of you, and how grown up are, and how much he loves you and wouldn't ever leave us on purpose. He knows you want to see him, but is too far away. But he can see you. And he loves you more everyday." Emma opened her eyes. She looked at Rachel who had tears running down her face.
"Mommy, is daddy coming back?" Rachel shook her head.
"Daddy can't come back. He's God's right hand Angel, and he is your guarding angel."
"I love you mommy."
"I love you too sweetie."
Rachel stood and walked out of Emma's room, closing the door quietly behind her.