It's probably a bit late to say this, but. none of the characters in this
fine piece of drama belong to me. Anyone and anything alluded to is
copyright of its respective owner (I'm a peasant, don't sue me!). Well now
we're in for a feast of bad chat-up lines and quotes from totally random
things. Go me!
ACT II
Enter Chorus (YURIKA and RURI).
Yurika: Ahh, it's all so romantic! Are you following this so far?
*Audience shakes heads. Hotohori the only one who doesn't look totally bewildered. Tasuki and the twins are asleep*
Yurika: Well, now the lovers have met! What does cruel Fate have in store for them? Will Kaneda ever become a balanced human being? Will Marron get to sleep with Kurama? Let's find out!
Ruri: (sigh)
SCENE I
A lane by the wall of Capulet's orchard.
*Enter Romeo (KANEDA), alone.*
Kaneda: Heh heh heh! I can conquer this mountain! We'll see if she's out of my league or not!
(climbs wall and disappears)
Enter Benvolio (HIEI) with Mercutio (KENSHIN).
Hiei: Hey brat! Come on out before we're forced to come in and kill you.
Kenshin: Maybe he's gone home?
Hiei: Don't be so naïve. This is Kaneda we're talking about. I know he's in there somewhere.
Kenshin: I bet he's still chasing Nuriko.
Hiei: Unlikely. Nuriko went home with Van. I knew he was gay.
Kenshin: Let's just leave him then. I'm freezing my cute little butt off out here, I want my bed.
Hiei: Hn. I'm gonna kill him tomorrow.
*Exuent.*
SCENE II
Capulet's orchard.
*Enter Romeo (KANEDA).*
Kaneda: Right, where is she?
*Marron appears at upstairs window*
Kaneda: Aha! There's my baby. She is so beautiful! Wow, what I wouldn't give for a night with her, her milk skin, her golden eyes, her hair like black satin. hey, I'm not bad at this soliloquising.
Marron: (sigh)
Kaneda: Ah! She speaks! Speak again, bright angel! Damn I'm good.
Marron: (strikes romantic pose) My love! How I wish to feel your touch.
Kaneda: (drooling) This is my lucky night..!
Marron: Kurama.
Kaneda: ?
Marron: My god Kaneda is a dimwit. I was just getting some action. Idiot Montagues.
Kaneda: She said my name! Let's go! Hey baby!
Marron: Gaah! It's you! What are you doing under my balcony at this time of night?
Kaneda: I love you!
Marron: Ick.
Kaneda: Hey baby, wanna do the sweet thing?
Marron: I'm not a girl you know.
Kaneda: Whatever you say darlin'.
Marron: But I'm not.
Kaneda: Will you go out with me?
Marron: Well you're nothing if not persistent.
Kaneda: So hows about you listen to some of my witty anecdotes?
Marron: ..
Kaneda: What about the time I fell into the water and was almost eaten by a hammerhead shark?
Marron: . er. go on then.
Kaneda: Well. I fell into the water and was almost eaten by a shark. And the funny thing is, its head was exactly the same shape as a hammer!
Marron: ..
Kaneda: And this one time, at band camp.
Elsewhere.
Manji: (glare) .!
Kenshin: zzzzzzzzzzz...
Kaneda: .So then basically my best friend morphed into this organic / metallic mutant and destroyed half of Neo-Tokyo, so I was kinda screwed again on that.
Marron: (glare)
Kaneda: Come on and sleep with me bitch!
Marron: I'm a boy, I'm a boy. I wish I were dead.
Kaneda: If you say no, Elwood and I will come here for breakfast, lunch and supper every day of the week.
Marron: .?
Kaneda: (fatuous grin)
Marron: Go away.
Kaneda: (clinging onto balcony) Come on baby, I can give you what you need!
Marron: (treads on his fingers)
Kaneda: Yaargh! (falls off, climbs back up again)
Marron: I'm going to roll my eyes meaningfully and I expect you to understand me and leave me alone.
Kaneda: (changing tack) er. something romantic, prob'ly, is in the East and whatsyername. Marron.is the sun and -
Marron: I fancy your dad.
Kaneda: ?!
Marron: Get off my balcony before I call my rabid nurse.
Kaneda: Nurse?
Marron: Don't even say anything.
Kaneda: But baybeee.
Marron: Shut up! DIIILAAANDAAUUU!!!
Enter Nurse (DILANDAU) in black PVC and cute little nurse-hat thingy with oversize blowtorch.
Dilandau: (insane laughter)
Kaneda: That's a nurse?!
Marron: He's more a girl than me, you know. Now go away.
Kaneda: Will you leave me so unsatisfied?!
Marron: (back to normal bored expression) What satisfaction can you have tonight?
Kaneda: Well, 1), you could go d -
Dilandau: BURN!! Hahahahah!
*randomly blowtorching everything in sight. Marron is wearing a welder's mask and trying to put out his robes*
Kaneda: Aaagh! Okay, I'm going, I'm going! Marron, marry me! I'll come see you tomorrow!
*jumps up and kisses him*
Marron: Eeuw!!
Dilandau: (produces sword and hits Kaneda over the head with the hilt) I'll kill him for you later. Now go to bed bitch.
Marron: (sulk)
*Exuent*
Yeah. total OOC-ness of characters abounds here. But what're you gonna do? Huh? Please review and tell me! (but not if it's something really violent or nightmare-inducing)
ACT II
Enter Chorus (YURIKA and RURI).
Yurika: Ahh, it's all so romantic! Are you following this so far?
*Audience shakes heads. Hotohori the only one who doesn't look totally bewildered. Tasuki and the twins are asleep*
Yurika: Well, now the lovers have met! What does cruel Fate have in store for them? Will Kaneda ever become a balanced human being? Will Marron get to sleep with Kurama? Let's find out!
Ruri: (sigh)
SCENE I
A lane by the wall of Capulet's orchard.
*Enter Romeo (KANEDA), alone.*
Kaneda: Heh heh heh! I can conquer this mountain! We'll see if she's out of my league or not!
(climbs wall and disappears)
Enter Benvolio (HIEI) with Mercutio (KENSHIN).
Hiei: Hey brat! Come on out before we're forced to come in and kill you.
Kenshin: Maybe he's gone home?
Hiei: Don't be so naïve. This is Kaneda we're talking about. I know he's in there somewhere.
Kenshin: I bet he's still chasing Nuriko.
Hiei: Unlikely. Nuriko went home with Van. I knew he was gay.
Kenshin: Let's just leave him then. I'm freezing my cute little butt off out here, I want my bed.
Hiei: Hn. I'm gonna kill him tomorrow.
*Exuent.*
SCENE II
Capulet's orchard.
*Enter Romeo (KANEDA).*
Kaneda: Right, where is she?
*Marron appears at upstairs window*
Kaneda: Aha! There's my baby. She is so beautiful! Wow, what I wouldn't give for a night with her, her milk skin, her golden eyes, her hair like black satin. hey, I'm not bad at this soliloquising.
Marron: (sigh)
Kaneda: Ah! She speaks! Speak again, bright angel! Damn I'm good.
Marron: (strikes romantic pose) My love! How I wish to feel your touch.
Kaneda: (drooling) This is my lucky night..!
Marron: Kurama.
Kaneda: ?
Marron: My god Kaneda is a dimwit. I was just getting some action. Idiot Montagues.
Kaneda: She said my name! Let's go! Hey baby!
Marron: Gaah! It's you! What are you doing under my balcony at this time of night?
Kaneda: I love you!
Marron: Ick.
Kaneda: Hey baby, wanna do the sweet thing?
Marron: I'm not a girl you know.
Kaneda: Whatever you say darlin'.
Marron: But I'm not.
Kaneda: Will you go out with me?
Marron: Well you're nothing if not persistent.
Kaneda: So hows about you listen to some of my witty anecdotes?
Marron: ..
Kaneda: What about the time I fell into the water and was almost eaten by a hammerhead shark?
Marron: . er. go on then.
Kaneda: Well. I fell into the water and was almost eaten by a shark. And the funny thing is, its head was exactly the same shape as a hammer!
Marron: ..
Kaneda: And this one time, at band camp.
Elsewhere.
Manji: (glare) .!
Kenshin: zzzzzzzzzzz...
Kaneda: .So then basically my best friend morphed into this organic / metallic mutant and destroyed half of Neo-Tokyo, so I was kinda screwed again on that.
Marron: (glare)
Kaneda: Come on and sleep with me bitch!
Marron: I'm a boy, I'm a boy. I wish I were dead.
Kaneda: If you say no, Elwood and I will come here for breakfast, lunch and supper every day of the week.
Marron: .?
Kaneda: (fatuous grin)
Marron: Go away.
Kaneda: (clinging onto balcony) Come on baby, I can give you what you need!
Marron: (treads on his fingers)
Kaneda: Yaargh! (falls off, climbs back up again)
Marron: I'm going to roll my eyes meaningfully and I expect you to understand me and leave me alone.
Kaneda: (changing tack) er. something romantic, prob'ly, is in the East and whatsyername. Marron.is the sun and -
Marron: I fancy your dad.
Kaneda: ?!
Marron: Get off my balcony before I call my rabid nurse.
Kaneda: Nurse?
Marron: Don't even say anything.
Kaneda: But baybeee.
Marron: Shut up! DIIILAAANDAAUUU!!!
Enter Nurse (DILANDAU) in black PVC and cute little nurse-hat thingy with oversize blowtorch.
Dilandau: (insane laughter)
Kaneda: That's a nurse?!
Marron: He's more a girl than me, you know. Now go away.
Kaneda: Will you leave me so unsatisfied?!
Marron: (back to normal bored expression) What satisfaction can you have tonight?
Kaneda: Well, 1), you could go d -
Dilandau: BURN!! Hahahahah!
*randomly blowtorching everything in sight. Marron is wearing a welder's mask and trying to put out his robes*
Kaneda: Aaagh! Okay, I'm going, I'm going! Marron, marry me! I'll come see you tomorrow!
*jumps up and kisses him*
Marron: Eeuw!!
Dilandau: (produces sword and hits Kaneda over the head with the hilt) I'll kill him for you later. Now go to bed bitch.
Marron: (sulk)
*Exuent*
Yeah. total OOC-ness of characters abounds here. But what're you gonna do? Huh? Please review and tell me! (but not if it's something really violent or nightmare-inducing)