------
He'd learned with Holly how heartrending it was to see one of your people
injured - lying near death - and being unable to do anything. He'd thought
that was the worst that could be experienced...but standing at Sara's bedside,
looking down into her bruised, unearthly pale features...he was wrong.
This was the worst.
This was hell.
Looking around, he pulled a chair close and sat down. "Hey..." His voice
cracked, failing him, as he reached out to take one limp hand in his.
He didn't know what to say. All the learning and all the experiences in his
life and now, sitting at her bedside, he could think of nothing to say.
Everything fled in the face of this.
Grissom swallowed heavily, dropping his gaze. "I'm sorry." he said finally
then flashed a strained smile. "I have no idea what I'm sorry for - exactly
- but I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I wish...I wish..." He sighed heavily.
"I wish I knew what to say here but...nothing...I don't..."
He fell silent then, the lump in his throat seeming to cut off all possibility
of speech and for the longest time he sat there, watching her face and willing
her back to consciousness. If the human will could singlehandedly effect a
recovery then Sara would be sitting up, glaring at him with that irritated
way she had, wondering what all the fuss was about.
But she wasn't.
She was just lying there.
Just...
Another shuddering sigh.
------
The sound of a nurse moving about the room jolted him out of sleep and Grissom
lifted his head from the mattress, where it had been resting against Sara's side.
The young woman noticed the movement immediately and smiled. "Sorry." She
murmured quietly.
He waved it off. "Any news?"
"There's been some slight improvement."
"What about her test results?" Grissom pressed.
The brunette paused. "I haven't seen them but I do think they're back...I'll
tell the doctor you want to speak with him."
"Thank you." He replied with a nod, his gaze returning to Sara's face.
"Just keep doing what you're doing." The nurse encouraged with a smile. "I
know it's cliche, but talking really does help. She'll respond to your voice."
She waited for an answer but quickly realized one wouldn't be forthcoming
and ducked out of the room, leaving them in privacy.
"Talk." Grissom smiled faintly. "What do I say? Lately, when I talk to you,
it always seems I say the exact opposite of what you need to hear." Reaching
out, he entwined her fingers with his again; wondering who the action really
comforted. Sara...or him?
"It seems relating to people isn't my strong suit." He decided softly. "High
IQ but low EQ...It's one thing I've always admired about you. You care so
deeply and you've no problems expressing it, at least not when compared to
me."
He sighed again. "Somewhere there's a balance to be found. A place between
control and emotionalism but neither one of us has found it yet..." Looking
at her bruised face, he closed his eyes briefly in an attempt to shut out
the pain. "Knowing you...knowing you has helped me to try." His smile
returned, nostalgic but undeniable. "Knowing you has helped me to try a lot
of things I never thought I would."
"Thank you."
TBC
He'd learned with Holly how heartrending it was to see one of your people
injured - lying near death - and being unable to do anything. He'd thought
that was the worst that could be experienced...but standing at Sara's bedside,
looking down into her bruised, unearthly pale features...he was wrong.
This was the worst.
This was hell.
Looking around, he pulled a chair close and sat down. "Hey..." His voice
cracked, failing him, as he reached out to take one limp hand in his.
He didn't know what to say. All the learning and all the experiences in his
life and now, sitting at her bedside, he could think of nothing to say.
Everything fled in the face of this.
Grissom swallowed heavily, dropping his gaze. "I'm sorry." he said finally
then flashed a strained smile. "I have no idea what I'm sorry for - exactly
- but I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I wish...I wish..." He sighed heavily.
"I wish I knew what to say here but...nothing...I don't..."
He fell silent then, the lump in his throat seeming to cut off all possibility
of speech and for the longest time he sat there, watching her face and willing
her back to consciousness. If the human will could singlehandedly effect a
recovery then Sara would be sitting up, glaring at him with that irritated
way she had, wondering what all the fuss was about.
But she wasn't.
She was just lying there.
Just...
Another shuddering sigh.
------
The sound of a nurse moving about the room jolted him out of sleep and Grissom
lifted his head from the mattress, where it had been resting against Sara's side.
The young woman noticed the movement immediately and smiled. "Sorry." She
murmured quietly.
He waved it off. "Any news?"
"There's been some slight improvement."
"What about her test results?" Grissom pressed.
The brunette paused. "I haven't seen them but I do think they're back...I'll
tell the doctor you want to speak with him."
"Thank you." He replied with a nod, his gaze returning to Sara's face.
"Just keep doing what you're doing." The nurse encouraged with a smile. "I
know it's cliche, but talking really does help. She'll respond to your voice."
She waited for an answer but quickly realized one wouldn't be forthcoming
and ducked out of the room, leaving them in privacy.
"Talk." Grissom smiled faintly. "What do I say? Lately, when I talk to you,
it always seems I say the exact opposite of what you need to hear." Reaching
out, he entwined her fingers with his again; wondering who the action really
comforted. Sara...or him?
"It seems relating to people isn't my strong suit." He decided softly. "High
IQ but low EQ...It's one thing I've always admired about you. You care so
deeply and you've no problems expressing it, at least not when compared to
me."
He sighed again. "Somewhere there's a balance to be found. A place between
control and emotionalism but neither one of us has found it yet..." Looking
at her bruised face, he closed his eyes briefly in an attempt to shut out
the pain. "Knowing you...knowing you has helped me to try." His smile
returned, nostalgic but undeniable. "Knowing you has helped me to try a lot
of things I never thought I would."
"Thank you."
TBC