Love And Fear
Author – Becka
Rating – PG-13
Keywords – Planes, DRR
Spoilers – Triangle, Millennium, Dreamland and the movie.
Category – Angst/Romance
Disclaimer – Unfortunately none of the characters belong to me, I just borrowed them for a while, twisted their lives around and gave them back J
Author's Note's – Yes, I know it is over a year since the September terrorist attack, but now was when I got inspiration to write a fic based not that long after it. After I wrote it I realised it was kinda like 'The Nanny' (but with a nicer ending), but decided still to post it.
*****
"You alright, Mon?" Doggett asked as they walked to their flights boarding gate. "Yeah, I'm fine." She answered, giving the woman at the desk her ticket. They were silent as they walked up the boarding ramp. He knew there was more to her answer than she had just told him, and that given a minute or two she would tell him. Just as he suspected as they sat down in their seats (Monica having previously requested a seat by the window, and John next to her) she started talking.
"…It's just that this is my first time on an aeroplane since September 11. I'm a bit nervous, that's all. It's silly really…"
"There's nothing silly about it."
"I don't see you almost shaking from nerves."
John put on his best 'comic book superhero' voice, and answered. "That's because I am the strong man, and you my dear, are the fair maiden I am here to protect."
Monica laughed loud enough for the air hostess to give her a dirty look. She composed herself long enough to put the back of her hand to her forehead, in the classic pose, and reply in a soft, breathless voice, "Why, thankyou kind sir for your offer to protect me. I gratefully accept."
At this they both started laughing, not only receiving glares from the air hostess this time, but the people around them as well.
"I never thought I would ever hear John -I-was-born-on-the-corner-of-straight-and-narrow- Doggett say that."
"And I beat you'll never let me live it down either."
"Not until I get old and have and bad memory, and even then I'll call you when I remember, and remind you of it then."
"Great" he said sarcastically.
"Don't worry," she said, playfully tapping him on the arm, "I promise I'll only call you every second time I think of it."
They stopped talking as the red seatbelt sign flashed above them, buckling themselves in.
*****
When there was still 45 minutes of the trip left, Monica was reading an article in a magazine that she found in the back of the seat in front of her. Doggett was sleeping, his head lolling to one side, so that it was leaning on her shoulder. She didn't push him away. Everyone except John himself knew how she felt about him. Scully had asked her about it a couple of weeks before. She had told Monica to just go for it. She had said that she had kissed Mulder once, almost kissed him once, told him she'd kiss him if he wasn't so ugly (while he was in someone else's body) and Mulder had even told her that he loved her (she had thought it was only because he had almost drowned though, so didn't believe him), but even after all this she was still to nervous to tell him how she felt.
Scully had told her to just tell him how she felt, no matter what she thought the reply would be. Monica's argument was she prefers to at least be able to be around him, rather than trying to get another transfer, because she was too embarrassed to be around him. She had no doubt in her mind that he would let her down softly, but that wasn't much comfort.
Monica was brought out of her thoughts when the plane dropped altitude suddenly. John woke up and looked around quickly. The lights flickered and switched off, plunging the cabin into darkness. People everywhere were screaming. Monica grabbed John's hand and held it tightly as they continued to plummet towards the earth. The air hostess that had glared at them earlier was gripping an armrest as hard as she could.
"Monica?" John said, fear evident in his crystal blue eyes.
"Uh-huh." she strangled out over the noise of the cabin.
"I never told you how happy I was when you came to work in the X-Files with me." John spoke extremely quickly, just in case he lost his nerve, "And in case I never get to tell you, when my wife broke up with me, all I could think of was you. I realised it was no coincidence that you were put on my son's case. It was the wrong time for a relationship, and it must have been this fate you are always talking about that gave me a second chance, at a better time. Mon, I love you"
Monica leant forward and put all the love that had been building and the fear that this was going to be her last time to ever see him into one kiss. When they opened there eyes and broke apart the lights were back on and the pilot was speaking.
"…We are beginning our descent into Washington DC. My apologies for the slight drop in altitude that could've scared a few of you."
"Slight" Monica snorted when he finished speaking.
"I think we have some stuff to talk about" Doggett said as they started slowly dropping altitude.
"Yeah" was all Monica could manage.
*****
When they landed they drove their own cars to Doggett's house. They now sat in his lounge room.
"So…" John started
"So…"
"I'm not quite sure what to say"
"Me neither. Everything's changed hasn't it?"
"Yep. I guess we start at the start. I meant what I said, I love you."
"I love you, too. I have for so long I can't even remember when it started."
There was silence for a moment.
"This has made everything awkward, hasn't it honey?"
Monica looked up as he said that.
"You called me honey."
John blushed.
"Sorry."
"Don't be. It's nice."
She smiled.
"What do we do now?"
"I don't really now. I guess we act like we always do at work. When we're alone, I think we just have to go with what feels right."
Monica yawned. She was exhausted.
"That's good advice"
"Thanks...I hate to impose, so feel free to say no, but could I sleep on your couch tonight. I'm so tired, I can't bear to think of driving home.
"No."
"Oh."
She was shocked.
"I won't have my fair maiden sleeping on a couch. You can take my bed, I'll take the couch."
"I couldn't do that to you. It may be a bit awkward but do want the other side of the bed. I don't want to sound too suggestive though. I love you, but I'm not deep enough into this relationship to sleep with you just yet."
"I know what you mean. But I'll take you up on you offer though, this couch is as bumpy as hell."
Monica smiled.
"I'll wait here while you change, then I'll grab my stuff and come in."
"'K, be right back."
Monica snuggled down on the couch and closed her eyes with exhaustion.
When John walked back in he saw her asleep on the couch. He gently shook her, waking her up.
"Hey Mon, you want some help to get into bed?"
"Yes please" she mumbled.
At that he picked her up easily and carried her into his bedroom.
"You can wear one of my T-shirts and boxers if you don't want to go outside and get your other clothes."
"Yeah"
He tossed her over the clothes and she mumbled thanks. She was about to lift her t-shirt when she realised he was still there. Monica motioned for him to turn around. He did, and she got changed quickly.
Slipping into bed she pulled back the covers so he could get in. John came closer to her. She was facing way from him, so he slipped his hand around her side.
"You don't mind do you?" he whispered into her ear.
"Of course not"
She tilted her head back so that she could smell him.
"John?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you more than anything in the world."
"I love you too, honey."
She smiled at that and drifted off to sleep in his arms. Before she did though she couldn't remember ever being happier.