A/N: {dream}
"De-demons?" I repeated. "What, like, bad guys?"
"Well, in a way, yes. But they aren't the demons that Buffy must face as the Slayer. Different for you, more…spiritual, perhaps. A way of redemption." I collapsed down into a chair.
"What demons? Like I said, I'm not into the occult or anything, so how could demons be fighting over my soul or whatever?" I asked, confused.
"I discovered a case or two similar to this situation. In both instances, the 'switched' people both were under an extreme amount of stress, spiritually. They did not feel comfortable as themselves and wished to be elsewhere. It takes a lot for this to happen. It must be felt at the exact same instant by both parties, in opposite dimensions."
"Alright…so that explains how I got here. But what does that have to do with demons?"
"There are different forms of demons. Buffy battles demons in the physical sense, tangibly. But your demons are of another kind. Perhaps something was on your mind that night, other than school. Something that might have happened awhile before, and you've never quite gotten past it. And you might not have been aware of it that evening. When memories and problems get repressed, they manifest themselves in other forms. Which would cause you and Buffy to trade places."
"Meaning…?" I questioned softly, dreading the answer.
"Simply put, that means that you must face whatever it is that has been haunting you to return home and bring Buffy back here." My face paled.
"I…I don't know of anything that it could be…" I stammered. I rose, grasped my backpack, and turned to walk out. I heard Giles sigh behind me.
"Brooke," he said. I turned.
"Yes?"
"Please, do try and think of what it could be, for your sake, not just Buffy's," he pleaded, studying me carefully. I nodded.
"I'll try," I murmured.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I walked the distance to Buffy's house slowly. The sky had clouded up; it was already quite dark for one in the afternoon. I had planned on going straight upstairs to Buffy's room, but as soon as I reached the house, I realized that wouldn't happen. Willow, Xander, and Oz were sitting on the front steps, talking quietly. I approached, trying to put a bounce in my step.
"Hi, guys," I said, forcing myself to be as sunny as possible.
"Hey, sweetie," Xander said, smiling and pulling me down next to him.
"Hi, Brooke, I'm Oz," Willow's boyfriend said, reaching over and shaking my hand. Heh, who would believe it, me, meeting Seth Green?
"Hello," I chirped, leaning against Xander.
"So, did you find out anything from Giles?" Willow asked. I tensed and feigned concern in the weather.
"Shall we go inside? It looks like it's going to pour any second." I got up and unlocked the door. Oz, Willow, and Xander followed me in. "Make yourselves at home. I'm going to run up and change out of this skirt." I started upstairs.
"I'll help!" Xander called up wickedly.
"I can handle it!" I changed quickly into some form-fitting black pants and went
back down to the TV room. "I'm back," I announced as Xander drew me onto his lap. We kissed, then Oz spoke up.
"Okay, so about what Giles told you..."
"About what Giles told me..." I repeated softly. I began thinking of what he had said. I knew I'd have to confront it soon, and I couldn't help but wonder exactly what demons he'd meant.
"That bad?" Willow asked.
"What was the worst thing that ever happened to Buffy?" I asked suddenly. Willow and Xander looked at each other, pondering.
"Becoming the Slayer?" Oz suggested.
"Rejecting me?" Xander brought up. I elbowed him.
"Um...I really don't know, Brooke. But I have to agree with Oz. The Slayer thing, her parents' divorce, and moving to Sunnydale. Although," Willow paused, "I wouldn't say those are the worst things, more like the hardest, most challenging things." I nodded. "So what does that have to do with you?
"She saves the world daily, pretty much alone, no offense. I...I tried my best to protect who I could from...from him. To get them to stop him from doing it again." My friends had fallen silent. A loud clap of thunder sounded and I jumped. Xander tightened his arms around me. I snuggled back into his embrace and took a deep breath. "Back in high school, things happened, things...involving a guy and I. He and I never dated; he was only a sophomore, and he was dating a friend of mine. I can't say, or, would rather not say, what exactly he did...forcing himself on me..." Willow gasped and Xander paled. "Jack...he almost got away with it. But...but I reported it. And because I was strong enough to do so, other girls came forward. A freshman, a young freshman...he was even worse to her. And she spoke up because of me. But since I was the senior, the 'instigator,' I was accused, by my peers, of organizing the whole thing to simply gain attention."
"What idiot thought that up?" Xander asked angrily. I laughed idly.
"The same guy I gave my heart to. The same people that I would have gone to the ends of the world with. Ironic, isn't it?"
"Oh my lord..." Willow whispered.
"So, like, did you kick some major butt or anything?" Oz asked.
"Not yet, it gets worse before it gets better. After everything had gone through the 'proper' channels, he, Jack, left the school. I was left behind as the villain of the story, amidst the rampant rumors. My teachers rallied around me, though, thank God, but my friends...Justin, Brian, Belinda...my best friends...deserted me. They spread even more vicious rumors concerning me. It was tough, walking into the band room each morning. A place that had become second home to me was now a war zone. I was always uneasy in there, except when I played French horn...And I hated that, having some immature little pissants that I'd known since sixth grade and before. But my best friend of all, my love for high school, Brian...he never took a stand. Never stood up for me, never lashed out at me, to my face anyway...just slipped quietly away from me, plunging the knife even further into my back..." I stopped, choking back the tears. It still hurt so badly...why couldn't I get the hell over it already?
"But what does that have to do with Giles' instructions?" Oz asked.
"Oz!" Willow reprimanded. "Give her a minute!"
"No, no, it's okay, Will. I know you guys have no clue why I'm telling you all this. Basically, those are my 'demons.' Giles says that, in order to get home, I have to face my demons. And I thought that I already had, back home, I mean. But, obviously not. Make sense?" They nodded, still looking rather confused. "Okay, so I don't know what it means, either. No matter what, though, I have to brave all that again, finally move past it once and for all, and get on with my life so that Buffy can return."
"In the words of Marty McFly, 'heavy,'" Xander said.
"Try dealing with it on your own for an entire semester," I retorted.
"But you're not alone here, Brooke. You need to remember that. We may have just met, but we, Xander, Willow, Giles, and I, are here to help," Oz replied. Willow nodded.
"So, when exactly does all this happen?" she asked.
"No clue whatsoever when this all is going to go down. Could be tonight, could be two weeks from now...Giles is still looking. I mean, it's one thing to go through therapy, but from what Giles was saying, it sounds more like a physical fight than all mental and Freudian," I returned.
"Well, then, we have to make the most of your time here," Xander put in. I could tell his cheerfulness was forced.
"Okay," Willow agreed. "Meet at the Bronze at 7?" We all consented, and Xander told me he would meet up with me at Buffy's. The storm had slackened, so they left. I went upstairs for a nap.
{I was back at Culver High, walking into the band room.
"Aw, look who it is, guys. The slut," Justin sneered.
"Poor Brooke, no friends anymore," Carla scorned.
"Bitch! You ruined my life!" Anna shouted. I continued on towards the back room, trying to ignore them, attempting to ignore the hot tears that stung my eyes.
"Oh, is Brooke going to cry and run to her mommy now?" Belinda mocked. All the while, Justin stood quietly watching the whole exchange, his face void of all emotion. Where I was once assertive and would have fought back, now I couldn't even reply. At a loss for words. And it was so hard, accepting that I had changed, that I was no longer the popular, outgoing girl I once was.
"Bite me," I muttered, sinking down in the back corner by my locker. Silent sobs racked my chest. Six weeks ago we were celebrating 2001 together, and now...Things were so different. And deep down, I felt myself dying. I would never be the same. Nothing would. But why wouldn't Brian say anything? Why was I still giving him that power over me?}
I woke up crying, hugging Buffy's pillow.
"Hey, it's alright." I jumped up, whirling towards the window. Angel stood there, his face serious. "Must have been some dream....hopefully not prophetic, as are Buffy's,"
he said.
"I...I...it wasn't. I mean...more of a glimpse in the past..." I replied softly.
"Well...all I can tell you is to listen to your dreams...and be prepared."
"Is that why you came?"
"Mostly. And to see if you wanted me to patrol at all."
"If you would, I would so totally appreciate it," I replied gratefully.
"Sure...later..." With that, Angel was gone.
"And now...what to wear tonight...and worse yet...what to do about that dream," I whispered. "I can't go through that again."
"De-demons?" I repeated. "What, like, bad guys?"
"Well, in a way, yes. But they aren't the demons that Buffy must face as the Slayer. Different for you, more…spiritual, perhaps. A way of redemption." I collapsed down into a chair.
"What demons? Like I said, I'm not into the occult or anything, so how could demons be fighting over my soul or whatever?" I asked, confused.
"I discovered a case or two similar to this situation. In both instances, the 'switched' people both were under an extreme amount of stress, spiritually. They did not feel comfortable as themselves and wished to be elsewhere. It takes a lot for this to happen. It must be felt at the exact same instant by both parties, in opposite dimensions."
"Alright…so that explains how I got here. But what does that have to do with demons?"
"There are different forms of demons. Buffy battles demons in the physical sense, tangibly. But your demons are of another kind. Perhaps something was on your mind that night, other than school. Something that might have happened awhile before, and you've never quite gotten past it. And you might not have been aware of it that evening. When memories and problems get repressed, they manifest themselves in other forms. Which would cause you and Buffy to trade places."
"Meaning…?" I questioned softly, dreading the answer.
"Simply put, that means that you must face whatever it is that has been haunting you to return home and bring Buffy back here." My face paled.
"I…I don't know of anything that it could be…" I stammered. I rose, grasped my backpack, and turned to walk out. I heard Giles sigh behind me.
"Brooke," he said. I turned.
"Yes?"
"Please, do try and think of what it could be, for your sake, not just Buffy's," he pleaded, studying me carefully. I nodded.
"I'll try," I murmured.
* * * * * * * * * * *
I walked the distance to Buffy's house slowly. The sky had clouded up; it was already quite dark for one in the afternoon. I had planned on going straight upstairs to Buffy's room, but as soon as I reached the house, I realized that wouldn't happen. Willow, Xander, and Oz were sitting on the front steps, talking quietly. I approached, trying to put a bounce in my step.
"Hi, guys," I said, forcing myself to be as sunny as possible.
"Hey, sweetie," Xander said, smiling and pulling me down next to him.
"Hi, Brooke, I'm Oz," Willow's boyfriend said, reaching over and shaking my hand. Heh, who would believe it, me, meeting Seth Green?
"Hello," I chirped, leaning against Xander.
"So, did you find out anything from Giles?" Willow asked. I tensed and feigned concern in the weather.
"Shall we go inside? It looks like it's going to pour any second." I got up and unlocked the door. Oz, Willow, and Xander followed me in. "Make yourselves at home. I'm going to run up and change out of this skirt." I started upstairs.
"I'll help!" Xander called up wickedly.
"I can handle it!" I changed quickly into some form-fitting black pants and went
back down to the TV room. "I'm back," I announced as Xander drew me onto his lap. We kissed, then Oz spoke up.
"Okay, so about what Giles told you..."
"About what Giles told me..." I repeated softly. I began thinking of what he had said. I knew I'd have to confront it soon, and I couldn't help but wonder exactly what demons he'd meant.
"That bad?" Willow asked.
"What was the worst thing that ever happened to Buffy?" I asked suddenly. Willow and Xander looked at each other, pondering.
"Becoming the Slayer?" Oz suggested.
"Rejecting me?" Xander brought up. I elbowed him.
"Um...I really don't know, Brooke. But I have to agree with Oz. The Slayer thing, her parents' divorce, and moving to Sunnydale. Although," Willow paused, "I wouldn't say those are the worst things, more like the hardest, most challenging things." I nodded. "So what does that have to do with you?
"She saves the world daily, pretty much alone, no offense. I...I tried my best to protect who I could from...from him. To get them to stop him from doing it again." My friends had fallen silent. A loud clap of thunder sounded and I jumped. Xander tightened his arms around me. I snuggled back into his embrace and took a deep breath. "Back in high school, things happened, things...involving a guy and I. He and I never dated; he was only a sophomore, and he was dating a friend of mine. I can't say, or, would rather not say, what exactly he did...forcing himself on me..." Willow gasped and Xander paled. "Jack...he almost got away with it. But...but I reported it. And because I was strong enough to do so, other girls came forward. A freshman, a young freshman...he was even worse to her. And she spoke up because of me. But since I was the senior, the 'instigator,' I was accused, by my peers, of organizing the whole thing to simply gain attention."
"What idiot thought that up?" Xander asked angrily. I laughed idly.
"The same guy I gave my heart to. The same people that I would have gone to the ends of the world with. Ironic, isn't it?"
"Oh my lord..." Willow whispered.
"So, like, did you kick some major butt or anything?" Oz asked.
"Not yet, it gets worse before it gets better. After everything had gone through the 'proper' channels, he, Jack, left the school. I was left behind as the villain of the story, amidst the rampant rumors. My teachers rallied around me, though, thank God, but my friends...Justin, Brian, Belinda...my best friends...deserted me. They spread even more vicious rumors concerning me. It was tough, walking into the band room each morning. A place that had become second home to me was now a war zone. I was always uneasy in there, except when I played French horn...And I hated that, having some immature little pissants that I'd known since sixth grade and before. But my best friend of all, my love for high school, Brian...he never took a stand. Never stood up for me, never lashed out at me, to my face anyway...just slipped quietly away from me, plunging the knife even further into my back..." I stopped, choking back the tears. It still hurt so badly...why couldn't I get the hell over it already?
"But what does that have to do with Giles' instructions?" Oz asked.
"Oz!" Willow reprimanded. "Give her a minute!"
"No, no, it's okay, Will. I know you guys have no clue why I'm telling you all this. Basically, those are my 'demons.' Giles says that, in order to get home, I have to face my demons. And I thought that I already had, back home, I mean. But, obviously not. Make sense?" They nodded, still looking rather confused. "Okay, so I don't know what it means, either. No matter what, though, I have to brave all that again, finally move past it once and for all, and get on with my life so that Buffy can return."
"In the words of Marty McFly, 'heavy,'" Xander said.
"Try dealing with it on your own for an entire semester," I retorted.
"But you're not alone here, Brooke. You need to remember that. We may have just met, but we, Xander, Willow, Giles, and I, are here to help," Oz replied. Willow nodded.
"So, when exactly does all this happen?" she asked.
"No clue whatsoever when this all is going to go down. Could be tonight, could be two weeks from now...Giles is still looking. I mean, it's one thing to go through therapy, but from what Giles was saying, it sounds more like a physical fight than all mental and Freudian," I returned.
"Well, then, we have to make the most of your time here," Xander put in. I could tell his cheerfulness was forced.
"Okay," Willow agreed. "Meet at the Bronze at 7?" We all consented, and Xander told me he would meet up with me at Buffy's. The storm had slackened, so they left. I went upstairs for a nap.
{I was back at Culver High, walking into the band room.
"Aw, look who it is, guys. The slut," Justin sneered.
"Poor Brooke, no friends anymore," Carla scorned.
"Bitch! You ruined my life!" Anna shouted. I continued on towards the back room, trying to ignore them, attempting to ignore the hot tears that stung my eyes.
"Oh, is Brooke going to cry and run to her mommy now?" Belinda mocked. All the while, Justin stood quietly watching the whole exchange, his face void of all emotion. Where I was once assertive and would have fought back, now I couldn't even reply. At a loss for words. And it was so hard, accepting that I had changed, that I was no longer the popular, outgoing girl I once was.
"Bite me," I muttered, sinking down in the back corner by my locker. Silent sobs racked my chest. Six weeks ago we were celebrating 2001 together, and now...Things were so different. And deep down, I felt myself dying. I would never be the same. Nothing would. But why wouldn't Brian say anything? Why was I still giving him that power over me?}
I woke up crying, hugging Buffy's pillow.
"Hey, it's alright." I jumped up, whirling towards the window. Angel stood there, his face serious. "Must have been some dream....hopefully not prophetic, as are Buffy's,"
he said.
"I...I...it wasn't. I mean...more of a glimpse in the past..." I replied softly.
"Well...all I can tell you is to listen to your dreams...and be prepared."
"Is that why you came?"
"Mostly. And to see if you wanted me to patrol at all."
"If you would, I would so totally appreciate it," I replied gratefully.
"Sure...later..." With that, Angel was gone.
"And now...what to wear tonight...and worse yet...what to do about that dream," I whispered. "I can't go through that again."