Chapter Five – Anger & Tears

Anya sat on Buffy's sofa in floods of tears while Willow attempted to comfort her. Spike and Buffy had fled to the kitchen to give Willow a chance of calming her down, Spike was watching his blood heat up in the microwave while Buffy tapped number after number into the telephone in a desperate attempt to find Xander. Dawn just floated around the house, unsure of what she was supposed to be doing. Buffy had told her that she was free to go to a friend's house but Dawn didn't really feel like going anywhere. She was stuck in the middle of a family crisis; her family was breaking apart at the seams and she needed to be sure it was going to be okay.

" I can't believe he just left. I only wanted to see if I could do anything to help Buffy. I don't even find him attractive, how could Xander think that I would find Spike attractive after all this time?" sniffed Anya.

" I don't know, he said a lot of things that were stupid. I don't think he knows what he's thinking or feeling yet, he's just confused about how to accept Spike. It was the same when Angel came back, he was so angry that he never thought about anything else,"

" Xander was only angry about Angel because he had feelings for Buffy. He doesn't have feelings for her anymore so why should he care?"

" But Xander does have feelings for Buffy, he loves her as a friend and I think he's just worried how Spike will affect her or something. I'm sure it'll all be sorted out soon," soothed Willow, Anya nodded and sniffed away her fresh tears.

" Me too," said Xander from the hallway. Anya jumped up from the sofa and ran across to hug him; he accepted her affections but didn't take his eyes off Willow.

" What?" she frowned as he walked across the room and joined her on the sofa as Anya went to the kitchen to inform Buffy and Spike that Xander had come back.

" It occurred to me that the last time something like this happened, you were on the giving side. You were the one who gave Angel his soul and I was just wondering if you'd been up to your old tricks?"

" What the hell are you talking about?" asked Willow, indignantly.

" Have you been using magicks again just to give Buffy her boyfriend back?"

" God, Xander. What is wrong with you? You know that I would never… I can't get into all that again, how could you even accuse me of having anything to do with this?"

" Please, Will. It's not like you were Little Miss Sane when everything happened. You may have conveniently forgotten but I remember what you were like when you stopped using magick; you were dying. All I'm saying is that it wouldn't surprise me if you slipped up,"

" I don't know how you can sit there and say these things to me. How can you call yourself my friend when you don't even trust me?" shouted Willow, tears of anger and sadness mingling on her cheek. She ran from the room in tears, barging past Spike and Buffy as they entered the living room with Anya.

" What did you say to her?" asked Buffy.

" Nothing. Just wondering if Wonder-Witch had returned along with Soul-Boy?" said Xander. Anya looked at him confused, she didn't understand why Xander was reacting this way. He'd had enough of Buffy so he was turning on Willow? She looked at Buffy for some kind of answer but she was too angry to say anything, even Spike seemed unable to stop her glaring.

" Never in my life have I wanted to hurt you as much as I do right now. I don't care about anything you've ever said about Angel or about Spike but you do not come into my house and start hurting Willow. No way!" she shouted. Spike held onto her wrist as she spoke, she seemed so upset that he was scared she would fly across the room and actually attack Xander.

" What the hell am I supposed to think? Everything is turning out real nice for the two of you and what do I get? Nothing. All I get is the guy that banged the woman I love, it's not the best present in the world,"

" That was a long time ago, Xander. You can't keep bringing it up and thinking about it," soothed Anya, walking across the room and sitting next to him on the sofa. "These people are your friends and you're hurting them and yourself by doing what you're doing,"

" Xander, I just want to say I am so sorry for what happened between me and Anya. It really was a drunken mistake, I never meant to hurt you. I was just lonely and stupid," said Spike quietly, Xander looked up at him in shock. He couldn't believe that Spike would dare apologise to him for the very thing he was basing his angry outlook on.

" I just don't understand you. You know more than anyone what Willow's been going through since she's been back and you accuse her of starting again. What is wrong with you?" shouted Buffy, she shaken free of Spike's grip and was striding towards Xander.

" I think I'll look for her," he murmured under his breath before standing up, he couldn't even look at Buffy. He walked out of the room and Buffy collapsed onto the sofa, sighing loudly. Spike sat next to her and she immediately snuggled in to his outstretched arms. Anya looked at them both and smiled, they seemed so happy together, she only hoped that Xander could see that and stopped his mission to hurt everyone in his path of destruction.

Willow was sitting on the step outside of the back door shivering quietly, her tears had stopped flowing but had frozen onto her cheeks in tiny salty blocks of ice. Xander sat next to her and took his jacket off, draping it over her shoulders and covering her bare arms. She looked up at him but couldn't say anything, she was so angry and upset that he had accused her of using magick on Spike that there was nothing to say. Her eyes were red-rimmed and Xander couldn't help but feel guilty for what he had done.

" What's the matter with you? Why are you so against Spike and Buffy being together?"

" I just don't know that she's doing the right thing. I just don't know if I can pick up the pieces when it all goes wrong again. I know she says she loves him but how does she know? I just can't forget everything we've been through because of him,"

" But he's changed now. Don't you think this past year alone has earned him a little something? Yeah, it was the chip and not a soul but he has a soul now so it's not like he's he same guy,"

" I know. I just can't get over it, I'm just being an idiot who can't get out of the past. Do you forgive me for what I said?" he asked. Willow smiled and nodded, hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry, Will. I never wanted to hurt you,"

" We need to sort you and Buffy out. I don't think she's very happy with you right now," laughed Willow. Xander smiled and stood up, helping Willow to her feet and escorting her into the house.

Anya, Spike and Buffy were all sitting on the sofa talking about what they could do about Xander and Willow and all the emotions flying around at the moment. Dawn was hanging back slightly, she sat at the bottom of the stairs not wanting to join the group but not wanting to be left out completely.

" Are you two better now?" asked Anya, eternal optimism shining behind her eyes. Xander grinned and sat next to her on the edge of the sofa, leaning over to kiss the top of her head. Willow sat on the floor again, tucking her legs underneath the coffee table and smiling up at Buffy, she looked tired but relieved.

" Buffy, I'm really sorry about all this. I just want you to know that I think our friendship is a lot stronger than my little outbursts!" he laughed. Buffy swallowed her anger and pride and leaned across the sofa to squeeze his knee, she was still a little too annoyed to forgive him completely but knew that there wasn't much to keep everyone apart.

" Thank God. You guys can be so annoying," laughed Dawn, running in from her hiding place on the stairs and sitting on Spike's knee. Still a little weak from the restoration, he groaned slightly under her weight but let her remain there. He was so happy to be back in the house, he was still racked with guilt about everything he had ever done to them as well as everyone else but having Buffy and Dawn there with him, accepting him back into their lives made him feel a little better.