6 months later:
"Zee, we got a problem. Major problem." Ro called from the bathroom.
"What?!?" Zee ran into bathroom, in full battle mode, expecting the worst. Instead, he found Ro holding a small strip of paper, looking quite dumbly at it. "THIS!" She waved the paper in his face.
"It appears to be a piece of paper with a plus sign on it. I don't see the inherent danger of it."
"Maybe if you saw what it's from." She motioned to the bathroom counter. There sat a box with the words "Home Pregnancy Kit" written on the side.
"Oh. Ro, are you pregnant?"
She smacked him with the box. "Yes! And that's a big problem. How are we supposed to run while I'm retaining water?" She hugged herself.
Zee held her to him. "Ro, I'm sorry. This is all because of what happened back when you got kidnapped. I keep telling you if you stop running with me and settle down-" He stopped as she shoved out of his hold and jabbed at her finger at his chest.
"This is your fault, yes, but not how you think. Look, it's been six months since you saved me back there, right? And up until a month ago, I was perfectly fine, menstrual cycle wise. Do you know what that means, tin man?"
Zeta shook his head.
"There's only one person I've had a roll in the hay with since then."
Zeta looked around, confused. "I don't recall any hay on our journey, let alone you rolling around in it."
Ro slapped her forehead. "You know, doing the horizontal mambo?" "You haven't gone dancing..."
"Playing Mountie?"
"Finding Waldo!"
"Going at it like strays!"
"Fine, fine. Ok, tin man, what do you call what we were doing last night?"
Zeta's face lit up. "Oh! You mean interco-"
WHAM! Zeta received a full face of trashcan. "YES, YOU OVERSIZED VIBRATOR!"
Zeta pulled the trashcan off his face. "Oh. Now I get it." His circuits finally got around what she had been trying to tell him. "But Ro, it's physically impossible for me to be the genetic donor for an embryo. I mean, I don't even have a genetic code." Ro kissed him. "Don't ask me. But from all that I can tell, I'm going to be a mother-"
Zeta kissed her back. "And I'm going to be a father." He pulled her into a hug on the bed.
After a few minutes, Zee move Ro off him and stood up. "Hold on a sec. I want to go ask someone a question."
"Uh, Zee, the phone's that way." Ro pointed to opposite side of the bed.
"But Bennet's this way." And with that, Zeta jerked the door to the hotel room open. And in spilled Bennet, West and Rush.
Ro let out a ear splitting screech. "How long have they been there?!?"
West smiled sheepishly. "Uh, congratulations?"
Ro screamed again.
"Agent Bennet, since you say the government knows more about me than I do, do you have an answer on how this is even possible?"
"First off, Zeta, you shouldn't even be able to interact with human like that in the first place." Bennet picked himself up off the ground, avoiding eye contact by dusting off non-existent particles. "Secondly, your programming has been evolving even past what Selig had in mind for you. He'd like to see you as soon as possible, actually to see if your evolution can be used to further robotics study. Maybe he can explain this new development in your hardware." Bennet pulled two tickets out of his coat, and a video phone. "Your plane leaves tomorrow. That phone has a secure direct line to Selig. He expects a call from you with the next four hours. Congratulations, Zeta, you got what you've been looking for."
Zee and Ro looked blankly at the agent for a moment, before Ro accepted the tickets and the phone. "Uh, thank you?"
Rush walked over and put a hand on Ro's shoulder. "I have to admit, I misjudged the two of you. I hope you can forgive me."
Ro smiled. "Yeah, I think we can do that."
West looked over at Zeta. "See, I told you that you'd get the girl." He spun around on the ball of his heel. "Though, man, I've heard of plug and play, but this is ridiculous! Wait 'til Lee hears about this!"
Zeta cocked his head in confusion. "Plug and play?" He thought about the reference, and Ro's word game. "Oh, I get it now."
Ro crossed her arms. "You get that one, and you can't figure out 'horizontal mambo'?"
Rush laughed. "Ro, he's a machine. Of course he's going to get it. It's like 'mounting the hard drive'."
"Or 'merge sorting'." Zeta piped in.
"Enough, Zee." Ro growled.
Even Bennet was amused. "Surely even a synthoid would understand about 'formatting the floppy'."
"Lalala, I can't hear you!" Ro stuck her fingers in her ears, desperately hoping the torture would end soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dr. Selig?"
The older man looked up from his work to the screen. "Ah! Zeta, I take it? It's hard to tell with your adjustments. I was looking forward to talking to you. I hear you've been looking for me?"
The synthoid smiled. "Yes sir, I have. For quite a long time, actually. And now your expertise will be even more necessary, I think."
Selig raised an eyebrow. "I heard you've been evolving quite a bit in the past couple of the months. Have you come across something new?"
Zee scratched his head, perfectly mimicking human embarrassment. Selig was thrilled. For a machine to show that much human emotion was indeed a great leap for the robotics world. "Uh, you could say that. As best we can figure, I'm going to be a father. I didn't even think it was possible, but I'm the only possible candidate."
Selig stared at the screen in shock. He'd never suspect the evolution of the synthoid's programming would ever adapt for those types of situations. He tried not to even think of the ethics involved in such a predicament. "You're not joking, are you?"
Zeta shook his head vigorously. "Ro says I'm horrible at jokes, and such a subject is nothing to joke about, or so she says."
Selig let out a soft laugh. "That was rhetorical question, Zeta. But we'll discuss this at length tomorrow when you get here. I hope the lucky girl is coming with you?" Zeta nodded. "Good. Now, unfortunately, I have to get going, but we'll have more time for this later." Zeta nodded again, and then severed the connection.
Dr. Selig sat back in his chair, trying to wrap his mind around the news.
His assistant, Ms. Donnoso, came in with the cup of tea he'd asked for earlier. "Sir? Sir, are you alright?"
"I guess." He shook his head, smiling. "I just found out I'm to be a grandfather, of sorts." He accepted the cup of tea.
"Grandfather? I didn't realize you had any children, sir."
"Oh, I have many children, Andrea. But this one's quite special to me. Very special indeed." He smiled softly, holding back a laugh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhere, far away from any of the respective parties, a star shot across the sky, leaving a blue trail for all to see, before it disappeared into the dawn.
Fin!
Notes: 1. This epilogue was actually written before the last chapter of the story. So there might be a little inconsistently.
2. Bullet proof trench coat stolen from Gunsmith cats.
3. Sword & knife stolen from Appleseed.
4. Innuendos stolen from the big list of CS majors' euphemisms. *shrug* they worked so well..
5. Angel stolen from Alan Moore' Promethea. Good read for anyone interested in the occult.
6. Zee and Ro stolen The Zeta Project. Don't sue me, it's your fault for making such a good show then pulling it.
I apologize to those who prefer Zee in his natural, non violent form. My thoughts are that if Zee was truly becoming more 'human', he'd have to deal with the hatred that broils under the surface of tranquility. Plus, it was easier to muck with his head.
The Arthurian legend and Tarot came out of various discussions I had with friends about magick and the work of the occultists. And the spelling of magick is stolen from Aleister Crowley.
Feel free to post this story in any archive, as long as I am given some credit.
Yes, I have a dirty mind. Get over it.
"Zee, we got a problem. Major problem." Ro called from the bathroom.
"What?!?" Zee ran into bathroom, in full battle mode, expecting the worst. Instead, he found Ro holding a small strip of paper, looking quite dumbly at it. "THIS!" She waved the paper in his face.
"It appears to be a piece of paper with a plus sign on it. I don't see the inherent danger of it."
"Maybe if you saw what it's from." She motioned to the bathroom counter. There sat a box with the words "Home Pregnancy Kit" written on the side.
"Oh. Ro, are you pregnant?"
She smacked him with the box. "Yes! And that's a big problem. How are we supposed to run while I'm retaining water?" She hugged herself.
Zee held her to him. "Ro, I'm sorry. This is all because of what happened back when you got kidnapped. I keep telling you if you stop running with me and settle down-" He stopped as she shoved out of his hold and jabbed at her finger at his chest.
"This is your fault, yes, but not how you think. Look, it's been six months since you saved me back there, right? And up until a month ago, I was perfectly fine, menstrual cycle wise. Do you know what that means, tin man?"
Zeta shook his head.
"There's only one person I've had a roll in the hay with since then."
Zeta looked around, confused. "I don't recall any hay on our journey, let alone you rolling around in it."
Ro slapped her forehead. "You know, doing the horizontal mambo?" "You haven't gone dancing..."
"Playing Mountie?"
"Finding Waldo!"
"Going at it like strays!"
"Fine, fine. Ok, tin man, what do you call what we were doing last night?"
Zeta's face lit up. "Oh! You mean interco-"
WHAM! Zeta received a full face of trashcan. "YES, YOU OVERSIZED VIBRATOR!"
Zeta pulled the trashcan off his face. "Oh. Now I get it." His circuits finally got around what she had been trying to tell him. "But Ro, it's physically impossible for me to be the genetic donor for an embryo. I mean, I don't even have a genetic code." Ro kissed him. "Don't ask me. But from all that I can tell, I'm going to be a mother-"
Zeta kissed her back. "And I'm going to be a father." He pulled her into a hug on the bed.
After a few minutes, Zee move Ro off him and stood up. "Hold on a sec. I want to go ask someone a question."
"Uh, Zee, the phone's that way." Ro pointed to opposite side of the bed.
"But Bennet's this way." And with that, Zeta jerked the door to the hotel room open. And in spilled Bennet, West and Rush.
Ro let out a ear splitting screech. "How long have they been there?!?"
West smiled sheepishly. "Uh, congratulations?"
Ro screamed again.
"Agent Bennet, since you say the government knows more about me than I do, do you have an answer on how this is even possible?"
"First off, Zeta, you shouldn't even be able to interact with human like that in the first place." Bennet picked himself up off the ground, avoiding eye contact by dusting off non-existent particles. "Secondly, your programming has been evolving even past what Selig had in mind for you. He'd like to see you as soon as possible, actually to see if your evolution can be used to further robotics study. Maybe he can explain this new development in your hardware." Bennet pulled two tickets out of his coat, and a video phone. "Your plane leaves tomorrow. That phone has a secure direct line to Selig. He expects a call from you with the next four hours. Congratulations, Zeta, you got what you've been looking for."
Zee and Ro looked blankly at the agent for a moment, before Ro accepted the tickets and the phone. "Uh, thank you?"
Rush walked over and put a hand on Ro's shoulder. "I have to admit, I misjudged the two of you. I hope you can forgive me."
Ro smiled. "Yeah, I think we can do that."
West looked over at Zeta. "See, I told you that you'd get the girl." He spun around on the ball of his heel. "Though, man, I've heard of plug and play, but this is ridiculous! Wait 'til Lee hears about this!"
Zeta cocked his head in confusion. "Plug and play?" He thought about the reference, and Ro's word game. "Oh, I get it now."
Ro crossed her arms. "You get that one, and you can't figure out 'horizontal mambo'?"
Rush laughed. "Ro, he's a machine. Of course he's going to get it. It's like 'mounting the hard drive'."
"Or 'merge sorting'." Zeta piped in.
"Enough, Zee." Ro growled.
Even Bennet was amused. "Surely even a synthoid would understand about 'formatting the floppy'."
"Lalala, I can't hear you!" Ro stuck her fingers in her ears, desperately hoping the torture would end soon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dr. Selig?"
The older man looked up from his work to the screen. "Ah! Zeta, I take it? It's hard to tell with your adjustments. I was looking forward to talking to you. I hear you've been looking for me?"
The synthoid smiled. "Yes sir, I have. For quite a long time, actually. And now your expertise will be even more necessary, I think."
Selig raised an eyebrow. "I heard you've been evolving quite a bit in the past couple of the months. Have you come across something new?"
Zee scratched his head, perfectly mimicking human embarrassment. Selig was thrilled. For a machine to show that much human emotion was indeed a great leap for the robotics world. "Uh, you could say that. As best we can figure, I'm going to be a father. I didn't even think it was possible, but I'm the only possible candidate."
Selig stared at the screen in shock. He'd never suspect the evolution of the synthoid's programming would ever adapt for those types of situations. He tried not to even think of the ethics involved in such a predicament. "You're not joking, are you?"
Zeta shook his head vigorously. "Ro says I'm horrible at jokes, and such a subject is nothing to joke about, or so she says."
Selig let out a soft laugh. "That was rhetorical question, Zeta. But we'll discuss this at length tomorrow when you get here. I hope the lucky girl is coming with you?" Zeta nodded. "Good. Now, unfortunately, I have to get going, but we'll have more time for this later." Zeta nodded again, and then severed the connection.
Dr. Selig sat back in his chair, trying to wrap his mind around the news.
His assistant, Ms. Donnoso, came in with the cup of tea he'd asked for earlier. "Sir? Sir, are you alright?"
"I guess." He shook his head, smiling. "I just found out I'm to be a grandfather, of sorts." He accepted the cup of tea.
"Grandfather? I didn't realize you had any children, sir."
"Oh, I have many children, Andrea. But this one's quite special to me. Very special indeed." He smiled softly, holding back a laugh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhere, far away from any of the respective parties, a star shot across the sky, leaving a blue trail for all to see, before it disappeared into the dawn.
Fin!
Notes: 1. This epilogue was actually written before the last chapter of the story. So there might be a little inconsistently.
2. Bullet proof trench coat stolen from Gunsmith cats.
3. Sword & knife stolen from Appleseed.
4. Innuendos stolen from the big list of CS majors' euphemisms. *shrug* they worked so well..
5. Angel stolen from Alan Moore' Promethea. Good read for anyone interested in the occult.
6. Zee and Ro stolen The Zeta Project. Don't sue me, it's your fault for making such a good show then pulling it.
I apologize to those who prefer Zee in his natural, non violent form. My thoughts are that if Zee was truly becoming more 'human', he'd have to deal with the hatred that broils under the surface of tranquility. Plus, it was easier to muck with his head.
The Arthurian legend and Tarot came out of various discussions I had with friends about magick and the work of the occultists. And the spelling of magick is stolen from Aleister Crowley.
Feel free to post this story in any archive, as long as I am given some credit.
Yes, I have a dirty mind. Get over it.