Hmmph, I'm really not a writer, forgetting to put the disclaimer ect, first. Well, I'll just add it here…
Disclaimer: Standard, nothing's mine, yadda, yadda, yadda, all Marvel.
My thanks go to the entire crew of the W&J page, but most of all, to my co-writer and wielder of chaos, DarkSabertooth.
Thanks for everything, folks.
If you've gotten this far with the story, you've crossed the border to pure insanity, and there's no way back. Welcome to Loonsworld!
4
Jubilee was calming down Logan, as a particular, horrifying memory hit her full blast.
She started screaming at the top of her lungs, and in less than two minutes, Remy's bedroom was crawling with X-Men.
Rogue tried to strangle Gambit, while Storm comforted the embarrassed, sobbing Jubilee.
And Jean?
Well, she was running for an Oscar, as she whispered tearfully:
"Oh god, Scott, how could you do this to me? I thought I was the only one you loved!"
Turning around, she buried her face in Hank's blue fur and cried fake tears.
Scott wanted to defend himself, but another fake memory, sent to him by his wife, caused him to turn white and green. He started to wretch and rushed for the safety of the bathroom.
Emma cocked a brow and eyed Jean thoughtfully.
The redhead's shoulders were shaking, not from weeping, but of barely controlled laughter.
Her plan was coming together rather nicely, now it was time to play her last card.
"I loved you so much, but this…this is more than I can take! I want a divorce, and I never want to see you again!" howled the red menace at the closed bathroom door.
'Why, you little, two-timing, lying witch! No one, not even Scott, deserves to be married to such a harpy!' the White Queen thought by herself.
'I must correct this misconstruction, and I think, I know just how to do that.'
Gently entering the confused minds of the victims of Jean's wrath, Emma caused the suppressed memories of how the red menace had dragged them here, to reappear.
Then she delayed them for a few hours, so they would pop up at different times.
She had a more urgent task:
Saving Hank from Phoenix' grasp-she wanted the big blue doctor all for herself, and Emma was not known to share her toys…
Remy smoothly washed his bruised body under the shower, trying not to pull off the various bandages covering his limbs and chest.
Rogue had turned rather violent after the event, and throwing him out of the window had been one of her more tender moves.
Touching his black eye, Remy heard a mean voice whisper:
'Rotten little Cajun bastard, my eyes are much greener than the southern chick's! I won't have you telling that floozy about emeralds and rosebud lips! Just wait…'
Gambit looked around, puzzled, then realized, it had been Jean's mind-voice.
And then he remembered the strange aftertaste of the bourbon last night…
5
Some time later, Scott was just getting some breakfast, when Logan walked in.
Shuddering, he remembered running his hands through that raven hair the last night, and his surprise at how soft those muttonchops were.
And how much Logan liked being called Wolvie.
Tension was heavy, as the two men ate in silence.
"Cyke, 'bout last night", Logan finally broke the silence.
"I just want to die", sobbed Scott.
"Yeah, so would I if we really had done those things. I doubt we did, though", said Logan.
"What do you mean?" asked Scott warily.
"Well, ya know how good my sense of smell is. I could smell you on me; after all ya had yer hand on my cheek.
The thing is, that was all I smelt, not the other sort of smell", muttered Logan.
"Other sort of smell??" queried Scott.
"Yeah, if we had, ya know, I would' a smelt it", said the feral.
"You-you mean, I didn't do any of those things, like running my hand along your muttonchops?" hushed Scott.
"Course ya didn't," growled Logan, " ya think, ya'd still be breathing, if ya had?"
He was astonished to see Scott suddenly burst into tears.
The leader was so relieved, that he just broke down right in front of Logan.
Wolverine was a bit taken aback, but felt compassion stir in him.
Putting his arms around Scott, he hugged him close and comforted him.
"It's alright, Cyke. It wasn't real. I'm here for ya now, and I'll get to th' bottom o' this, I swear", said Logan.
Scott was surprised by this side of Logan, he so rarely saw. Somewhat bewildered, he said the first thing that came to his mind:
"Logan, you are beautiful!"
It was at this point that Bobby walked in to see Scott apparently declaring undying love for Logan, while the latter was cuddling him.
"Oh my god, I think I'm gonna die!" cried Bobby, as he ran for the nearest toilet.
Within half an hour everyone in the building came to know Bobby's version of what Scott and Logan had been up too…
"Jubilation, please, try to compose yourself. It is not healthy if you cry that much, never mind how bad that remembrance was," Ororo soothed, trying to comfort the younger woman.
"You don't understand," sobbed Jubilee, "what I…we did, was so…so…oh god, I can't even say it!"
She started crying again, and Storm sighed.
"Perhaps if you…describe what troubles you, in a metaphorical manner?" She looked hopefully at her girlfriend.
Sniffing, Jubilee wiped her eyes and whispered:
"Canuck-Gumbo-sandwich!"
Ororo blinked, paled, and blinked again.
"Oh goddess, no wonder, you are so upset! I do not think I could bear that in my mind!"
Jubilee stopped weeping instantly and her head shot up. Furrowing her brow, she asked:
"What did you just say?"
"That thought in your mind?"
Jubilee nodded, as a memory rose to the surface of her consciousness-among with a realization.
"Ya know, I start to think, the whole thing was a hoax. I mean, after such a night, I should be kinda, well-sore!" She blushed furiously.
"But instead, it's like nothing happened, I don't feel any different than last night, when I went to bed. That means…"
The image of dyed red hair, bottle-green eyes and a very familiar voice, popping up in her mind, made her trail off.
"It was a flunk! That witch drugged us somehow and put us all in Remy's bed to get us into trouble!"
Slamming her right fist into her left palm, Jubilee hissed:
"Just wait, you mess with the prank queen, I'll kick your butt all the way back to ex-dead telepaths' den!"
Storm shook her head, for she was afraid for her lover.
"I do not think, it is wise, to start an open war like this with Jean. She is, after all, very vicious."
"I know," grinned Jubilee, "but when I'm through with her, she'll wish she were Sinister's guinea pig!"
Ororo pulled Jubilee close and hugged her fiercely.
"Please, be careful. I do not know, what I would do without you." Jubilee patted the windrider's head and kissed her.
"No worries, honey, I'll deal with Jean, then you and Wolvie can move in with me-just as we planned!" Ororo was stunned.
"But there is no room in the mansion, that is big enough for the three of us!"
Jubes giggled mischievously.
"We'll move to the boathouse. I don't think, Mr. And Mrs. Summers will be needing it any longer, when we're done!"
Inside the mansion, Emma overheard the conversations of Jean's victims and smiled.
Once the others had confronted the red menace, they would move Jean away from Hank, steering him straight into her waiting arms.
Happily, the White Queen went to change in her new business suit.
She loved new leather.
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