Chapter 6
Mr Sinister was a most unhappy man. His espionage revealed that his perfect genetic couple who had so far been unable to produce any children who actually belonged in this universe and time now seemed unlikely ever to do so.
"Scott Summers how could you disappoint me so much after all those years of research I've dedicated to you. That hairy little runt is a most unworthy partner for you. Oh well I'll just have to pop over to the mansion and collect a few genetic samples," sighed Sinister.
Victor Creed was also not a happy man. The tall feral was standing all alone and gazing back at the mansion.
"I miss ya Jubilee but it just wasn't meant ta be. Still at least I've found out something I didn't know before. Jean Grey is drop dead gorgeous."
Obviously the poor feral is in urgent need of psychiatric treatment.
Mystique was also not a happy woman. She had just found out about Jubilee and Creed and found she was insanely jealous. The miscreant shape changer decided to go to the mansion to wreak a little righteous vengeance on Jubilee. Then she would forgive Creed and win back his heart.
"You are quite right Logan. I can detect no evidence whatsoever of Gambit engaging in carnal activities with any of you. My chemical analysis also indicates that the alcoholic beverages, toothpaste and breakfast cereal were drugged," mused Hank as he stroked his furry chin.
"Ya don't know how relieved I am ta hear ya say that fuzz-ball,"
"Quite. I must admit my considerable surprise to hear of Scott and your good self displaying such open affection for each other earlier. I congratulate you on your excellent choice of partner. I hope you will be a much better person for him than Jean has been."
With a snarl an angry Logan leapt on Hank and the fuzzy blue doctor was forced to defend himself. Fortunately he managed to subdue Logan, pinning him until the smaller man calmed down and explained what had really happened.
"Bobby does have a somewhat juvenile mind," admitted Hank as he let Logan go.
"I'm gonna teach him a lesson." Logan growled deep in his throat and unsheathed his claws.
Just then Bobby ran in and threw Nair at Beast but missed and hit Logan. With angry yells and threats Logan took off after the frightened Bobby who disappeared behind a corner leaving only a lingering plea for mercy. Watching them leave Hank stroked his chin and then sighed fondly.
"Well he's still the same old Logan."
Bobby raced through the mansion, Logan in hot pursuit, just as Jean stepped out of her room, having rubbed soap on her face and in her eyes to fake a teary look.
Drake saw her and avoided her at the last moment, but Wolverine in his blind fury barged into her knocking her down. He stopped apologizing while pulled her to her feet before continuing the hunt for Iceman.
The red menace stared after him, remembering how he used to react after doing things like that and her face contorted into an ugly mask. Now even punishing Bobby had become more appealing than her? Well she didn't care that much about it any longer. Soon the professor would make Logan and Jubilee leave, send Storm and Gambit on a road trip and tie down Iceman. Then she would get rid of Scott and finally be happy with her beloved blue Hank.
Chapter 7
In the hall, Logan managed to tackle Bobby to the floor and pin him to the ground with one hand while pointing the claws of the other towards the poor fellow's family jewels.
"Would ya mind tellin' me, where ya got that hare-brained idea that I would be making out with Slim in the kitchen?" Logan roared as Nair dripped from his forehead.
Bobby wheezed and stammered.
"B-but I saw you two, hu-hugging in there, and Scott said you're beautiful so I assumed……"
Logan gave another very bloodthirsty roar and Bobby fainted into a puddle,
"That'll teach ya ta assume and-"
"-mess with me Logan. Just because of one little wrinkle you stop chasing me? Well, when I'm done with you Logan, not even Creed will want to touch you!"
He stood their in shock, realizing that his passed flame had done something so mean to him, even Sinister wouldn't stoop so that level. Racing through the mansion, trying to gather the other victims, he never noticed the white-clad figure standing on top of the stairs.
Emma smiled contentedly. Soon Beast would be hers, Scott would be free and Jubilee, Storm and Wolverine would move into the boathouse.
"And they lived happily ever after," she whispered to herself turning to enter her room. Something heavy clubbed her and she fell unconscious to the floor. Mystique stepped out of the shadows a frozen turkey leg still clutched in her hand. She looked intently at the unconscious White Queen before shifting into the form of the blonde beauty.
"Now for my sweet revenge," cackled the madwoman blissfully unaware of what chaos she would get herself into
Jean Grey was walking through the mansion later dreaming about Henry McCoy and running her fingers through his silky blue fur when she was confronted by an angry Jubilee.
"I just worked out what you did to me you dowdy old frump," yelled Jubilee as she charged up some fireworks.
"Well it was the sort of thing you would do. I remember all about what you, Logan and Ororo did. You're just a little tramp," spat Jean.
"You should not refer to Jubilee as a tramp Jean. You sorely abused your powers and I'm disgusted with you Jean. Scott didn't deserve that and neither did Logan or Remy despite their sometimes roguish ways," said Ororo as she stepped in to protect Jubilee.
Mystique wandered up and was surprised by the sight of three X-Women apparently about to murder each other. Then Jean Grey caught sight of her hated rival.
"Emma you b*tch, you were the one to ruin my perfect plan," shrieked Jean as she leapt at Emma. Jubilee and Ororo went to pull her off and then it all degenerated into a huge catfight.
Bishop, Kurt and Warren were just passing by and decided to stop and enjoy the entertainment.
Chapter 8
"Logan, Scott you must hear dis. Remy knows what happened."
Logan, Remy, how could my wonderful wife do a thing like this? She's not even in one of her Dark Phoenix phases," wailed Scott.
"I got new fer both of ya. Scott, yer wife's been playing us all fer fools," growled Logan.
Rushing towards each other all three men met head on, slipping on the ice and crashing to the ground in a tangled heap. Waking up with a groan Bobby caught sight of the three of them and promptly got the wrong impression again.
"I don't believe it. They're at it right in front of me. I think I'm gonna……" whispered Bobby before slipping back into merciful unconsciousness once more.
"Oh my stars and garters, but whatever can have to you my poor dear darling Emma. I promise to give you lots of tender, loving care," said Hank as he came upon the unconscious form of Emma. He picked her up, cradling her tenderly in his strong arms before taking her to the infirmary where she would be well looked after.
"So all manner of havoc and pandemonium is breaking out at the mansion. The perfect time for me to put into effect my master plan! It will be a trivial matter to slip in while they are all distracted." Dark Beast chuckled and helped himself to another Twinkie. He made his preparations to infiltrate the mansion little knowing the dreadful fate that was in store for him. After all one Beast was as good as another to Jean Grey!
Blinking Emma Frost woke up in the infirmary gazing up into Hank's gentle baby-blue eyes. Happily she ruffled his soft blue fur and sighed:
"Why thank you doctor, for the gentle treatment. I think I'll get unconscious more often, so I can be healed by you."
Beast blushed, the touch of Emma's hand had almost made him forget his surrounding and tear off his lab coat.
He had always admired her but could think of no reason why a woman like her would want anything to do with a furry blue gorilla like him.
"Umm, yes, well, actually, you have been clobbered into that state, and uh, err, well, I found you and … brought you here, uh, whatsthatagain, oh yeah, to, err examine you."
The White Queen was still stroking his head and Hank caught himself purring. She pulled him closer and whispered sultrily in his ear: "My hero."
As they were about to kiss, a blinding light appeared on the wall and then Sinister stepped out. The three stared at each other and then the villain pulled out a list, checked it and hid it again before nodding amiably to them.
"Very well then, let us proceed with the collecting. I don't think you two will mind will you if I collect a few samples, hair and such to further my genetic engineering? As a scientist McCoy you should appreciate this."
Both of them shook their heads mainly in disbelief and so Sinister teleported from room to room searching brushes and combs for hair samples. The new found couple thought that with Essex providing a distraction for the other X-Men that there would be plenty of time for them to prove their love to each other.
Outside Storm and Jubilee had managed to subdue the Red Menace and hurl her to Xavier's office. They then told Kurt and the others to send up Scott, Logan and Remy as soon as they could find them. Meanwhile Mystique still in Emma's form slipped away.
"Scott get yer elbow outta my groin or I'll turn ya into steak tartar," Logan rasped trying to free his arm from Remy's coat.
"Sure as soon as you get your finger out of my ear shorty," whined Cyclops.
"Sorry mec, t'at be mine, no 'ard feelings non?" Remy muttered moving Scott's foot from his neck.
Finally they had unraveled themselves from the chaos and stood looking at each other.
"What are we going to do now guys? My wife turned into an evil thing and I don't think I still love her enough to forgive her."
"Not t'mention she didn't stop Roguey from beating me up. I'd get rid of her, while I still can before she kills you!"
Logan tilted his head and heard Ororo, Jubilee and Jean heading for Xavier's office.
"Let's go and find Chuck. He'll know what ta do with her."
Behind his desk Charles shook his head. He had known that Jean would turn evil if not supervised, he had thought he taught her well, but now this………..
Sighing he turned to the arguing group as he had an idea.
"Listen up my X-Men; I in my generous wisdom have come to a conclusion. Rogue," turning to the southern belle," now that you know it was a hoax, can you forgive Gambit?"
She thought about it and said,
"Sure if he promises to marry me," Remy threw himself at her boots kissing them eagerly.
"Oui ma duchesse. I am you willful slave as long as I live, your wish is my command and your will my will."
The others turned slightly green at this ranting and shoved the two outside.
"As for you Jubilee the matter is more difficult. You love both Ororo and Logan but you can marry only one so you must make your choice."
Jubilee tilted her head, frowned and then her face lit up.
"Easy I move to Tibet where a woman can have as many grooms as she wants."
Storm patted her shoulder.
"My dear there are no malls in Tibet. You will die of boredom because there are no theatres either."
Jubilee shrieked the thought of a country without malls, cinemas or probably even decent junk food was nearly as horrifying as giving up either Logan or Storm. The latter smiled.
"I know a solution. Jubilee and Logan marry and keep me as their lover. Then nobody gets hurt and since I never pictured myself as a bride I will still have somebody to run too."
All stared at her and then Logan wrapped his arms around her in a huge bear hug which Jubilee joined in and they praised Storm's beauty and wisdom.
Charles raised a quizzical brow and then turned to Jean.
"Well what are we going to do with you madam?"
"I want a divorce since I'd rather be married to Apocalypse then her now," piped in Scott.
"Yes that is clear but even then she will remain a danger to the team. Locking her up won't help since she's a telekinetic."
"Did I mention a divorce?"
"That too but first Jean is going to pay for the cost of Rogue and Jubilee's weddings, the lawyer for her divorce and my psychiatric bill since I will need therapy after listening to this."
Jean went pale and then fainted dead away.
"Then I'll get my divorce?"
Wolverine cuffed Scott as Xavier mentally ordered Cyclops to go to sleep.
Passing the hall Mystique tripped over the unconscious Iceman. Looking at him closely she realized just how cute he really was.
"If it doesn't work out with Victor he will do very nicely or there's always Logan or even Scott for that matter."
Coming to a decision she headed off to the infirmary.
In the bathrooms Sinister was still collecting samples when a portal suddenly popped open right beside him blowing him apart in the energy backlash. With a groan Sinister began to pull himself together.
Out stepped Dark Beast his gray fur randomly spattered with blue dye since he had been in a hurry. He sniffed the air and took of for the kitchen since he was hungry. He was looking for Twinkies and beer or anything else alcoholic or high in sugar.
One other thought passed through his warped and twisted mind. Iceman really was a cutie.