The second episode of my "The Jerry Springer Show". I don't know how will I handle it. At least I won't be hosting. My sister will.
Jerry Springer Show 2
He Killed My Parents, now He Wants to Kill Me
That guy that talks: And Now say welcome to your host: JERRY SPRINGER
Audience: YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
[small, blond girl comes out]
Danny: Hello everyone! I have news for you. First Maria is on her honeymoon with Lucius Malfoy, so she won't be able to host the show.
Audience: YEAH!
Danny: But Jerry is unfortunately still sick, so I will be hosting the show!
Audience: NO!
Seamus Finnigan: Can't we have normal host once?
Danny: Well what was wrong with my sister?
McGoangall: She was sort of okay, but she spent more time flirting with Malfoy, instead of really hosting the show.
Danny: Well you know her…
McGonagall: Well we don't. She isn't our sister.
Snape: Young girl, you just earned a detention.
Danny: What? I'm going to Beauxbatons! But you can give my sister detention, when she comes back. She goes to Hogwarts.
Snape: But she is in Slytherin. And I can't give detention to any Slytherin.
McGonagall: I heard it now. Now I have proofs that you favor students from your house. Now I'm going straight to Dumbledore.
[she runs away from the studio]
Snape: Oh no, you won't.
[he runs after her]
Danny: Well people don't be harsh on Snape and McGoangall. First McGonagall had crush on Snape, but he liked Madam Hooch. Then McGonagall hooked herself with Dumbledore, and Hooch dumped Snape, so Snape now is running after McGonagall.
McNair: Enough with that. I don't care for that Dumbledore, he didn't even come to see Jerry's show because he was afraid that I would be there.
Danny: Well, actually he can't come, he broke his leg.
McNair: Just get on with the show, or I will come and host it next time!
Danny: Then fine! And today topic is: He Killed my Parents, Now He Wants To Kill Me!
Audience: Ooooooooohhhhhhhh!
Danny: And now I give you Tom M. Riddle a. k. a. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
Voldemort: [Comes out]
Audience: Double Oooooooohhhhhhhhh!
Voldemort: [sits in the chair] What?
Danny: So are you really You-Know-Who?
Voldemort: Of course I am.
Danny: So why did you kill James and Lily Potter?
Voldemort: Guess.
Danny: You loved Lily?
Voldemort: Nah…
Danny: Felt bored?
Voldemort: Nah…
Danny: They ate your whole peanut bitter jar?
Voldemort: Nah…
Danny: Maybe you loved James? Because Lily was a Muggle born witch? Lily was working in variety shop, and she didn't have enough money for exchange?
Voldemort: Nah, nah, nah…
Danny: I surrender. [she waves with white flag]
Voldemort: I killed them because James knew how to mown the lawn batter then me, and Lily cooked better soup then my wife did.
Danny: That's all?
Voldemort: And James didn't like Pokeman. I have a Pickachu as my pet.
Danny: Pokeman wasn't popular than. I mean they weren't there at all.
Voldemort: Now you will pay me. [he takes out a Pokeball, and Pickachu comes out]
Pickachu: Picka, Picka.
Voldemort: Pickachu, electric shock. [Pickachu charges himself and hit Crabbe and Goyle who were in audience, with him electricity]
Danny: Cool can I have one?
Voldemort: No, they are just mine.
Danny: Fine if you want it that way.
Voldemort: Would you go on with the show now?
Danny: OK, so why did you want to kill Harry Potter?
Voldemort: I didn't. Lucius Malfoy put Imperious Curse on me.
Danny: Lucius Malfoy?
Voldemort: Yeah, the same person your sister in now on honeymoon in Venice.
Audience: Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh!
Parvati: Maria told me they are going to Sri Lanka?
Danny: Well she told me they are going to Vienna, but she changed her mind.
Lavender: Why would she?
Danny: You know her. She needs two days to decide should she ware black or black with shades of gray, robes.
Voldemort: Shut up, or I will let my Pickachu on you!
Danny, Parvati, Lavender: Sorry.
Danny: So why did Lucius want Harry killed?
Voldemort: Well you know that Malfoys have all the best?
Danny, and the audience: Of course we do!
Voldemort: So Lily and James bought a baby Harry better watch that they found for Draco.
Danny: That's all?
Voldemort: [nodding with his ugly head]
Danny: Ok, and now I give you HARRY POTTER!
[Harry comes out, and sits on the opposite side of the studio where Voldemort is. Don't worry, the shield is between then, so they can't attack each others]
Harry: Voldemort…
Voldemort: Potter…
Danny: So guys how are you doing?
Harry: Fine.
Voldemort: Great.
Danny: Harry's what's bothering you?
Harry: Well Voldemort wants to kill me again.
Voldemort: Oh you sure can bet in that.
Danny: Why?
Voldemort: I don't know. Lucius Malfoy is the one that is head of the plan. I'm stupid why don't you ask him?
Danny: And unferotunately Lucius is now in Venice, but I give you DRACO MALFOY, his son!
[Draco comes out, and sits beside Voldemort]
Danny: Hello Draco! How are you?
Draco: I'm fuckin good? Howz ya doin'?
Danny: I'm doing fine.
Harry: Tell me Malfoy, why does Voldemort want to kill me?
Draco: Hey ya buddy. I jus recently marrie, so don ya ask me 'bout some stupid-faying killin', ask 'bout ma chick.
Harry: So how's your wife?
Draco: She'z doin' fine. Tanx fer askin'.
Danny: So Draco, you should know that your father knows why Voldemort wants to kill Potter. But Voldemort doesn't know, what Lucius Malfoy knows, and he he doesn't know why should he kill Hary Potter. So we were wondering do you know that what your father knows, why does he wants Voldemort to kill Potter, and not to know reason.
Draco: I dunno.
Voldemort: Oh this is so cool. Do you know Draco or don't?
Draco: Wha'? She didn' even ask me question properly.
Danny: We can make it short. Draco, Harry Potter is asking you why does Voldemort wants to kill him?
Draco: Ah getit now. I dunno. Mah father is one who wants Harry killed, and he kno' the plan
Danny: Do you know why he wants Harry killed?
Draco: Oh yeah, of course ah do. 'Arry, ya wer mean t me and him.
Harry: I wasn't mean at all.
Draco: Well, thatz what he sez.
Danny: So when is your father tell You-Know-Know the plan, so you You-Know-Who can kill Harry?
Draco: He he won'. He dozn wan 'Arry dead neemore.
Danny: So why we are hosting this show?
Voldemort: Don't know. Anyways I have to get to my pedicure in fifteen minutes. Ce ya guys. [Voldemort goes away]
[everybody goes away]
Danny: So you saw in today's episode….
[The cameraman turns the camera off]
~The and~
I'm not sure will I write next show.
~*Maria*~