~chapter five: Dilemma, Heartache, and Heartbreak
Why am I feeling this way? Should I tell her? Was Joe right? Could I possibly deny the truth? What is the truth? Does she also feel the same way? Aaaahhh! Thoughts. Confusions. Inner arguments. What is happening to me? What should I do?
Matt was pacing back and forth back in his room, reflecting on what Joe had said. He seemed perplexed. He could fall on his knees and cry in frustration anytime.
Dilemma. ^~^
Matt seemed to be evading Sora at school on Monday. Every time he sees her passing by him in the corridor, he would turn away and disregard her greetings. "What's wrong with Yamato?" Sora asked Kari, noticing Matt's indifference and evasiveness. "Dunno. He may be in a serious trouble of some sort. He's creepy today," Kari answered. "How 'bout you ask your boyfriend what's happening to his brother?" "Shut up! TK's not my boy friend whatsoever!" "Oh yeah? How come I saw you both holding hands in a restaurant last Saturday? And what about that warm loving embrace when you almost kissed?" Kari blushed, "Well.I, uh. we, um, had lunch together there. I, uh, didn't seem to notice it. And I just hugged him for-helping me.in lotsa stuff. I-I don't know if-" Then she paused and turned to Sora, "Wait a sec, you're changing the topic!" Sora grins and shoots a nasty look "Anyway, why don't I ask him what's wrong?" Sora suggested. *
"Matt! Wait up!" Sora yelled at the ambling fair-haired teen. Matt walked faster at hearing her voice. She caught up with him alright, but Mr. Dilemma turned his head away.
"Did I do something to you?" Sora asked him. Matt didn't respond.
"Come on! What the heck did I do?" Sora asked, louder this time. Matt still continued walking, clearly ignoring the questioning girl.
Minutes of silence while walking, they found themselves in the school garden and nobody was around. Sora felt an uneasy feeling to be alone with a guy. Even though she kept on asking him what's wrong, Matt hid his face from Sora.
Sora finally gave up and shouted, "Fine! Suit yourself! Giving me a cold shoulder for no reason! Go ahead! I don't care!"
Sora turned to run back to the building. But Matt suddenly stopped near the tree and finally said, "S-Sora..I don't know what to do."
"What do you mean?"
"You made me feel something unusual. Something I never felt before. Something."
"What did I do? Have I hurt you? Did I offend you? Have I-"
Matt's lips covered Sora's, hushing her. The words she was to say were doused by a sudden display of feelings. His sudden kiss made feel Sora queasy. But gradually, she succumbed. She realized she was melting in his affectionate kiss. She found herself embraced in Matt's arms and her face being caressed by his gentle hand,. She stroked Matt's hair tenderly. She felt the sweet taste in Matt's mouth. She felt the need for her to enjoy their precious moment. She felt she should stay and hush herself for the mean time.
It felt like a dream.
"Sora.," Matt began to say hesitatingly, "...I'm falling in love with you."
Sora's heart skipped a beat. "You what?" I don't believe it!
"I can't help it Sora. You seem so perfect. I can't help falling in love with you.."
"Since when?" Sora asked reluctantly, hiding her surprise and excitement.
"Since," Matt replied, "we were young, I guess, but I didn't feel the emotion that strongly until just now. When you already dated Tai. When I helped you. I fell for you, Sora, I swear."
Sora stuttered, "B-but you can't! You see, I-I'm seeing another guy a- already! You can't love me yet Matt. I.well it's true I had and may still have a crush on you but."
Despite the raging conflict inside her to accept or reject, she chose the latter, despite the fact to accept him was a strong yearning inside her and that she could hurt Matt's feelings.
But she thought more of Tai. I don't know why.
Matt froze. Yes, she's already seeing Tai, Ishida. You should have thought about that. How stupid of you! Wise men were right-only fools rush in. Stupid you! Matt thought to himself in disappointment and defeat. His heart fell. His heart bled. His heart broke. His heart dismembered. And stuff.
"So this is it. Rejection. You choose Tai. Go ahead. That's fine with me," Matt said sardonically.
"I'm just saying I can't bear to hurt both of you. But Tai already came first and it's logical for me to pay attention to the first who came." Sora explained, but had a hard time finding the words to utter. Why am I saying this?
Matt snickered.
"I'm sorry," Sora whispered.
"Goodbye."
A gust of wind sent a cold feeling over Sora. She thought she made the right decision but she wasn't able to recognize what was "right".
Matt turned away and walked slowly. He was in terrible frustration. His cheeks flushed red in anger. He gritted his teeth and shook his fists in irritation. You shouldn't have done it, Matt. Look at you! You hurt yourself. Matt reflected in self pity.
Sora, how could you? How could you? I loved you!
"I'm sorry," Sora whispered in tears as she saw Matt furthering out in the distance, walking slowly in defeat and disappointment. Loneliness and guilt and conflict filled her. She wanted to run to him, but she was blank on what she should say or do. Sora remembered her feeling of liking Matt when she was eleven-it all came back to her.
The feeling was coming back, this time, it surged to a higher level. She felt her desire to have Matt beside her. Her crush on him turned into a deep unexplained so-called love. She could just tell Matt.
.But could she possibly hurt Tai? A long-time friend?
Now what are you going to do, heartbreaker? Sora asked herself.
^~end chapter~^ ~====================================================~
Why am I feeling this way? Should I tell her? Was Joe right? Could I possibly deny the truth? What is the truth? Does she also feel the same way? Aaaahhh! Thoughts. Confusions. Inner arguments. What is happening to me? What should I do?
Matt was pacing back and forth back in his room, reflecting on what Joe had said. He seemed perplexed. He could fall on his knees and cry in frustration anytime.
Dilemma. ^~^
Matt seemed to be evading Sora at school on Monday. Every time he sees her passing by him in the corridor, he would turn away and disregard her greetings. "What's wrong with Yamato?" Sora asked Kari, noticing Matt's indifference and evasiveness. "Dunno. He may be in a serious trouble of some sort. He's creepy today," Kari answered. "How 'bout you ask your boyfriend what's happening to his brother?" "Shut up! TK's not my boy friend whatsoever!" "Oh yeah? How come I saw you both holding hands in a restaurant last Saturday? And what about that warm loving embrace when you almost kissed?" Kari blushed, "Well.I, uh. we, um, had lunch together there. I, uh, didn't seem to notice it. And I just hugged him for-helping me.in lotsa stuff. I-I don't know if-" Then she paused and turned to Sora, "Wait a sec, you're changing the topic!" Sora grins and shoots a nasty look "Anyway, why don't I ask him what's wrong?" Sora suggested. *
"Matt! Wait up!" Sora yelled at the ambling fair-haired teen. Matt walked faster at hearing her voice. She caught up with him alright, but Mr. Dilemma turned his head away.
"Did I do something to you?" Sora asked him. Matt didn't respond.
"Come on! What the heck did I do?" Sora asked, louder this time. Matt still continued walking, clearly ignoring the questioning girl.
Minutes of silence while walking, they found themselves in the school garden and nobody was around. Sora felt an uneasy feeling to be alone with a guy. Even though she kept on asking him what's wrong, Matt hid his face from Sora.
Sora finally gave up and shouted, "Fine! Suit yourself! Giving me a cold shoulder for no reason! Go ahead! I don't care!"
Sora turned to run back to the building. But Matt suddenly stopped near the tree and finally said, "S-Sora..I don't know what to do."
"What do you mean?"
"You made me feel something unusual. Something I never felt before. Something."
"What did I do? Have I hurt you? Did I offend you? Have I-"
Matt's lips covered Sora's, hushing her. The words she was to say were doused by a sudden display of feelings. His sudden kiss made feel Sora queasy. But gradually, she succumbed. She realized she was melting in his affectionate kiss. She found herself embraced in Matt's arms and her face being caressed by his gentle hand,. She stroked Matt's hair tenderly. She felt the sweet taste in Matt's mouth. She felt the need for her to enjoy their precious moment. She felt she should stay and hush herself for the mean time.
It felt like a dream.
"Sora.," Matt began to say hesitatingly, "...I'm falling in love with you."
Sora's heart skipped a beat. "You what?" I don't believe it!
"I can't help it Sora. You seem so perfect. I can't help falling in love with you.."
"Since when?" Sora asked reluctantly, hiding her surprise and excitement.
"Since," Matt replied, "we were young, I guess, but I didn't feel the emotion that strongly until just now. When you already dated Tai. When I helped you. I fell for you, Sora, I swear."
Sora stuttered, "B-but you can't! You see, I-I'm seeing another guy a- already! You can't love me yet Matt. I.well it's true I had and may still have a crush on you but."
Despite the raging conflict inside her to accept or reject, she chose the latter, despite the fact to accept him was a strong yearning inside her and that she could hurt Matt's feelings.
But she thought more of Tai. I don't know why.
Matt froze. Yes, she's already seeing Tai, Ishida. You should have thought about that. How stupid of you! Wise men were right-only fools rush in. Stupid you! Matt thought to himself in disappointment and defeat. His heart fell. His heart bled. His heart broke. His heart dismembered. And stuff.
"So this is it. Rejection. You choose Tai. Go ahead. That's fine with me," Matt said sardonically.
"I'm just saying I can't bear to hurt both of you. But Tai already came first and it's logical for me to pay attention to the first who came." Sora explained, but had a hard time finding the words to utter. Why am I saying this?
Matt snickered.
"I'm sorry," Sora whispered.
"Goodbye."
A gust of wind sent a cold feeling over Sora. She thought she made the right decision but she wasn't able to recognize what was "right".
Matt turned away and walked slowly. He was in terrible frustration. His cheeks flushed red in anger. He gritted his teeth and shook his fists in irritation. You shouldn't have done it, Matt. Look at you! You hurt yourself. Matt reflected in self pity.
Sora, how could you? How could you? I loved you!
"I'm sorry," Sora whispered in tears as she saw Matt furthering out in the distance, walking slowly in defeat and disappointment. Loneliness and guilt and conflict filled her. She wanted to run to him, but she was blank on what she should say or do. Sora remembered her feeling of liking Matt when she was eleven-it all came back to her.
The feeling was coming back, this time, it surged to a higher level. She felt her desire to have Matt beside her. Her crush on him turned into a deep unexplained so-called love. She could just tell Matt.
.But could she possibly hurt Tai? A long-time friend?
Now what are you going to do, heartbreaker? Sora asked herself.
^~end chapter~^ ~====================================================~