Chapter Three: Remus's Secret
It was the defense's turn to call a witness. "The defense would like to call Remus Lupin to the stand," said Hermione.
Remus sat down and folded his hands. He looked even more sick and tired than he usually did, I thought. Oh, if I had known that my stupid book would cause him to break up with Sirius....
"Please state the nature of your cause," said Hermione.
"I think that Ms. Rowling is fully protected by Act 720-A, and I also think that it is within her right as an author to change the story as she sees fit."
"Are you satisfied with Ms. Rowling's portrayal of you?"
"Yes. Of course, it isn't completely accurate, but that's her right."
"No further questions."
McGonagall stood up. "Mr. Lupin, as one of the conditions of being allowed to testify, you have previously sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, correct?"
"Correct," said Remus, starting to look a tad nervous.
"Then you will answer the questions I am about to ask you truthfully."
"Yes."
"Until you moved out last week, was Sirius Black your lover?"
"Yes."
"Did many people know that he was your lover?"
"No."
"Closet case," whispered Hermione. "Oh, I hate to think of where she might go with this one."
Strangely enough, she let it drop and moved on in a different direction.
"When you were in school, did you tell a lie to Professor Dumbledore about the nature of your condition?"
"Which condition would you be referring to?"
"Did you lie to Professor Dumbledore about being a werewolf?"
"Yes."
"Of course you did!" yelled Sirius from the audience. "Just like you had to lie about us. You thought who you really were was far too embarrassing."
"SHUT UP SIRIUS!" screamed Remus.
"I WON'T! I WON'T, BECAUSE I'M TELLING THE TRUTH AND YOU KNOW IT!"
Dumbledore banged the gavel, but it did no good. There seemed to be no way of restraining them.
"YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY ACT 720-A, YOU'RE JUST HIDING BEHIND IT SO NO ONE WILL FIND OUT YOUR SECRET! THIS ISN'T ABOUT HER, IT'S ABOUT YOU!"
"SHUT YOUR BLASTED MOUTH!"
Dumbledore pulled out his wand. "Silencio!"
Both of their mouths kept moving, but no sound was coming out. "That's better," said Dumbledore. "You may continue your questioning, Minerva."
"Are you really a werewolf?"
"No," said Remus, sound coming from his mouth again. Sirius was still furiously shouting without noise.
"Could you please tell us what you are?"
Remus mumbled something.
"Could you repeat that?"
"Awrdksnd."
"I'm sorry, I couldn't..."
"A WERE-DACHSHUND!"
The court roared with laughter. Remus's face went red. "See, this is why I could never tell anyone. People might despise werewolves, but were-dachshunds are another thing altogether."
He looked at me. "Maybe I am selfish, and maybe I'm only testifying to save myself. I honestly don't know. But," he added, looking at Dumbledore, "Ms. Rowling is too good of a person to make others suffer. She would have never changed things about Sirius and me if she knew we would break up. And she IS protected by law."
"You may step down," said Dumbledore.