Chapter Four: Potions Studs and Polyjuice Secrets

McGonagall called Snape as her next witness. A collective female sigh rose from the audience. And indeed, the man walking up the stand was breathtaking.

He had coal-black hair and chiseled, manly features. His robes were a dark green, which brought out the brown of his eyes. "I am a married woman," I told myself, "I am a married woman...."

"Please state your complaint."

"My name is Professor Severus Snape."

Another swoon from the audience.

"Ladies, please control yourselves. I'm upset with the way that J.K. Rowling has portrayed me in her books. Obviously, as you can all see, I'm not ugly, and I wash my hair every day, thank you very much. Her portrayal of me has hurt my image as the four-time cover model of Playwitch, and my career is suffering."

"Oh, get over it," muttered Hermione. "If anything's hurting his Playwitch career, it's the fact that he isn't...how do I put it....particularly well-endowed."

I gave her a suspicious glance.

"Not that I ever look at Playwitch or anything...all right, so I do, but I read it for the articles!"

"Also, my girlfriend broke up with me, and I'm having a hard time finding another one."

A blonde witch in the back of the court stood up. "Severus! What about all those things you said last night?"

"Excuse me," said Snape icily, "do I know you?"

The witch ran out of the courtroom sobbing.

"Professor McGonagall, do you have any questions?" said Dumbledore, exasperated.

"None."

"Miss Granger?"

"No."

"This court will recess until seven A.M. tomorrow morning."

"Hermione!" I hissed. "Aren't you going to ask him any questions?"

"Nothing I ask them is going to do much good. I already brought up the law and I can't exactly contradict their testimony, can I? I mean, it's obvious that Snape isn't ugly and Sirius and Remus were lovers."

"Well, you could be a bit more of a help!"

"Don't worry! When we get to our witnesses, I'll bring out tons of things. I did an all right job with Remus, didn't I?"

"Well, all right. I guess I'll just have to trust you."

"Don't worry, Joanne, they don't have a leg to stand on. In Muggle court this would have been thrown out already. Now come on. We're meeting Harry, Ron, Hagrid, and Remus at the Three Broomsticks to discuss our strategy."

On the way out, I saw Snape in the corner giving autographs to a crowd of eager witches. "Where's the door out?" I asked Hermione.

"I think it's this one. This place is so confusing, I've gotten lost three times already today."

We pulled open a large, elaborately carved door with a brass handle. But it wasn't to the outside.

It was to a large room. Standing in front of us was Dumbledore, leaning over a man who was lying on the floor. Hermione and I exchanged nervous and questioning looks. She put one finger to her lips in a "quiet" gesture, and I nodded.

Suddenly, Dumbledore began to change. His hair and beard were shortening, his nose was straightening out, and he was shrinking. "Wormtail!" he called. "Bring me the Polyjuice Potion!"

Hermione gasped. I clamped my hand over her mouth.

Peter Pettigrew came into the room and handed a goblet to the man. "Here you are, my lord."

"Get me some of his hair."

As we watched, speechless, Pettigrew turned the man on the floor over and pulled out a few hairs. It was Dumbledore. And, as you may have guessed, the other man was none other than He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, You-Know-Who, Tom Marvolo Riddle, Lord Voldemort.