Chapter Sixteen: Negotiations

At that moment, a large gray owl flew in the window with a letter tied to his foot. When he landed, Mrs. Weasley took the letter and read it aloud.

"Ms. Rowling:

Please meet with us using the Cerebellum Inferno Charm so that we can begin to settle out of court at ten o'clock today. We are at Malfoy Manor.

Sincerely, Severus Snape, Argus Filch, and Draco Malfoy."

There was another note too, from Moody: "They gave this to me assuming I'd know your whereabouts. A.M."

"What's the Cerebellum Inferno Charm?" I asked.

"The one where people see your head in the fireplace," Sirius said.

"Do you suppose it's safe?" I asked Mr. Weasley.

"I should think so," he said. "They won't be able to tell where you are, only that you're somewhere with a wizard fireplace. And Remus and Sirius needn't do the charm too- after all, you'll still be here with them, it's just that your head is appearing somewhere else."

"I wonder how much Snape is on our side," pondered Harry. "He knows about what Voldemort's done, but he still is angry with Jo. You'd think at the very least he'd put off settling until Dumbledore's back."

"Probably thinks things won't turn out in his favor if Dumbledore's around," said George.

"I say," said Fred suddenly, "where's Percy?"

We all looked around. He was nowhere to be seen. "I do hope he hasn't left the house," said Mrs. Weasley nervously. She went to the foot of the stairs and called his name. There was no answer. Even Fred and George looked worried.

My stomach began to pitch, and I raced for the bathroom, Sirius and Remus following. Sirius handed me a tissue when I was finished. "Thanks," I said, grateful. He nodded.

Back in the kitchen, there was still no sign of Percy. "It's almost ten o'clock," Ron said. "You'd better go and do the charm."

Remus, Sirius and I walked into the living room. Remus lit the fireplace and Sirius took out his wand. Pointing it and me, he said, "Cerebellum Inferno Malfoy Manor."

I felt dizzy and the next thing I knew, I was looking past flames and into an ornate antique living room. Sitting in an overstuffed violet armchair was Malfoy, with Snape on his right and Filch on his left. None of them offered any greetings.

"All right," I said, "let's get down to business."

"I want a thousand Galleons in damages and a disclaimer at the beginning of all new copies of each book," Snape said.

"Disclaimer yes, Galleons no," I said.

"I want my character changed," said Filch.

"Why," I said, "You know it's all true."

"I am NOT a Squib!"

"All right then, if you're not a Squib, turn Malfoy into a cockroach," I said. He looked flustered. "See, told you."

"Maybe my magical abilities are not quite up to snuff..."

Snape snorted with laughter. Filch glared at him.

"I," said Malfoy authoritatively, "want my character reflected in a positive light as an excellent student and Quidditch player who is rightfully proud of his pureblood ancestry and recognizes inferiors when he comes across them."

"Dream on," I said. "That's got nothing to do with any laws. The laws I was brought to court for breaking had to do with my stories changing the truth. And you're the character I changed the least."

"If you don't do it," hissed Malfoy, "I'll...."

"If you don't stop threatening me, Draco babe, I'll get Dobby to make public whatever secret it is that he has about you."

"No one would believe it," said Malfoy, but he looked nervous.

"I wouldn't be so sure," I said. I addressed them all. "The disclaimers I'll go with," I said. "It's an archaic and stupid law, but it's yours and I broke it, so I'll add disclaimers. Filch, it's not my fault you're a Squib. Malfoy, it's not my fault you're an elitist scumbag. Snape, it's not my fault you're a failed Playwitch model who, from what I've heard, could use a few implants in his..."

"BUT I'M NOT UGLY!" Snape roared. "YOU'LL CHANGE THAT!"

"The law doesn't say I have to," I said. "It says I either have to tell the truth or add a disclaimer, and I'm adding a disclaimer. If you don't like it, we can go back to court. Now, gentlemen, if you'd excuse me. Sirius? Could you bring me back now?"

Within the second, I was back in the living room of The Burrow. The whole Weasley family, Ron, Hermione, Sirius, and Remus were standing around me with grave looks on their faces. "What is it?" I asked.

Mr. Weasley held up the clock. The "Percy" hand was pointed to a large, curly question mark.

Mrs. Weasley held up a note. I read it. "Dear Mum and Dad," it read. "I've gone. Don't expect me back. No matter what happens, I never meant to cause you pain. Percy."