Title: Broken Promises and New Beginnings
Rating: I wish I knew. I am putting it at PG-13 just because I don't know any better and would rather err on the safe side.
Genre: Drama/Mild Angst
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They are, were and will always belong to Mr. George Lucas creator of an amazing universe. Not only does this story contain elements of the universe that Mr. Lucas created but also the Alternate Universe (AU) found in a wonderful story called An Untimely Frost by CYNICAL21. I thank Cynical21 for allowing me to reference her work. If you haven't read her story you are really missing out on a wonderful story.
Just to a little guide as to what things mean:
/-/ Bond thought //-// Private thought "-" Speaking aloud
**********************************************************************
The transport station was a busy place. Obi-Wan could hear the various arrivals and departures being announced as individuals rushed in every possible direction in search of their greeting party or transport. He had always loved the transport station. In the past it had always held the promise of another exciting mission shared with his Master or the comfort of returning together to the peace and security of their home. This pendulum, irrespective of which way it would swing touched an essential need within him.
Today he felt numb. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion and yet nothing made sense. He was lost in his thoughts and unable to fully comprehend the activity swirling around him. The pushing crowd caused him to feel irritated as he found himself being buffeted by one being after another. It made him feel invisible and he had had quite enough of that for one day.
Finally wading through to the departure bays he went about clearing the various security checks that were in place surrounding the diplomatic departure area. It didn't take him long to find the slick Nubian ship. Obi-Wan spotted Yoda waiting for him on the ramp of the ship. His expression looked concerned and Obi-Wan checked his shielding. He had felt before that perhaps Yoda had read his thought concerning his need to see Qui-Gon before he left. He certainly didn't want any the devastating scene which had been played out earlier to leak through to him.
It felt odd walking towards the ship without the presence of Qui-Gon leading him. His view of the world had always been seen from over the other man's shoulder. He would have to now get used to following behind a smaller and somewhat slower master. He would have to consciously shorten his strides so as not to out pace Master Yoda. Looking down at Yoda now standing before him on the ramp Obi-Wan was once again flooded by relief that he had not been removed from the temple. He may have lost his master but he still had his dream.
Obi-Wan managed a small smile as his eyes found those of the wizen old master. Without a fully formed bond perhaps Master Yoda wouldn't be able to sense all of the turmoil and sadness surrounding his confrontation with Qui- Gon. He also hoped that he wouldn't be asked to relate all that had transpired. Knowing Master Yoda as he did though Obi-Wan knew that such hopes were in vain. Yoda pursed his lips and turned waiting for Obi-Wan to fall behind him before entering the ship. Yoda's expression had dashed any hopes Obi-Wan had been holding on to that he would be able to keep the evening's humiliations from him. He knew that Yoda was a good and kind Master, but at times being a good master meant forcing a student to face hard truths. Obi-Wan felt his knees weaken slightly at the thought of reliving the truths that even now were embedding themselves into his memory. Once they were settled on the ship Yoda would ask him and he would spill his guts. He dreaded the look of pity the old Master would give him. He was on the verge of being a Jedi Knight, he needed no one's pity.
Once onboard Obi-Wan found himself immediately intercepted by Queen Amidala and her chief of security Captain Panaka.
"Where is Master Jinn?" The Queen asked glancing down at the small green creature standing next to Master Jinn's Padawan. Even though her voice maintained the odd monotone inflection Obi-Wan noted apprehension in her tone.
"Your Highness," Obi-Wan began bowing to her, "May I introduce Master Yoda, honored member of the Jedi Council." Obi-Wan smiled slightly to the Queen trying to alleviate her anxiety. Yoda and the Queen bowed to one another.
The Queen immediately turned back to Obi-Wan with a look of confusion on her face. //Ok// Obi-Wan thought taking a breath to calm himself //Just tell her the facts without all the messy details. She doesn't need those details and I certainly don't want her to have them.// He felt his face flush slightly as he began explaining.
"While Master Jinn and I were making an appearance before the council today circumstances came about that required Master Jinn to leave the temple and Master Yoda volunteered to replace Master Jinn on this escort mission. I can assure you that you are in capable hands and can trust Master Yoda with the same confidence you had in Master Jinn." His voice was soothing and even though he had stumbled in a few places trying to call upon diplomatic language to smooth over the embarrassing situation he had noticed that the concern on the Queen's face had lessened.
She turned to the master before her. "Master Yoda we thank you for your support and protection. I apologize for my earlier doubts concerning your presence." Her voice was modulated and regal.
"Understandable it is young Queen. Much you have on your heart. Learn you will though that appearance and size can be misleading. Help can be found where never you would have sought it." He turned to Obi-Wan. "My Padawan show me to my quarters you will. Much we have to discuss."
Obi-Wan bowed to Yoda and then to the Queen. He felt the Queen's hand upon his arm as he moved to pass her. He looked up and met her eyes. "We are very pleased that you are continuing on with us Obi-Wan Kenobi. It is a comfort to us all. " Blushing slightly he smiled his appreciation to the young queen and proceeded to lead his new master to the cabin that Qui-Gon had occupied on their previous journey.
Amidala was shocked to hear the small Master refer to Obi-Wan as his Padawan. Hadn't he been Master Jinn's Padawan? Did they switch off like that? She had always been led to believe that it was a one on one relationship. One teacher and one student bonded until the student either failed the training or reached knighthood. Something had happened. Under normal circumstances she would have pursued this development until she discovered the truth, but with the lives of her citizens threatened she had other pressing matters.
She settled herself into a commons area and awaited their departure. Her mind ran through what Master Yoda had said to her. There was something there. She could sense it. What was it? He had something about looking for help in the least likely place. She had thought that the Senate would be their best bet for help and they had failed her and her people. The Trade Federation was strong. She would need equal or greater strength to defeat them and take back control of her planet. Perhaps in the absence of physical strength though there was another kind of strength that could save her people.
There was a loud crash behind her that startled her from her thoughts. Her gaze met that of Captain Panaka's. She noted both the amusement and aggrevation in his expression before turning to see what had caused the commotion. Her eyes met with those of Jar Jar Binks as he glanced about in embarrassment desperately trying to pick up various pieces of equipment he had just managed to knock all over the storage compartment. Shaking her head she turned back to her thoughts and an enlightened smile dawned upon her face.
"My Queen?" Sabe inquired confused by Amidala's expression. "What is it?"
Amidala turned to her loyal body guard her smile widening. She glanced back at Jar Jar. "Sometimes it is the obvious that eludes us. Sabe once we are in hyperspace I will need to hold a conference with the Jedi."
"Do you have a question for them your Majesty?" Sabe asked knowing that the Jedi would be curious as to the nature of the conference.
Amidala glanced back once more at Jar Jar as he continued his fumbling, "No Sabe not a question." She paused meeting her confidant's eyes, " The answer, I have the answer." She immediately began visualizing how Jar Jar and rest of the Gungan army that he had mentioned on Coruscant could work together with her security forces to save their planet. The odds were against them but so were the Trade Federation and now the Senate as well. At this point it seemed that she had nothing to lose and the survival of the planet she loved to gain. What they lacked in physical strength they would more than make up for with strength of heart.
The conference with the Queen had gone well. Even though he had more than a few reservations concerning her plan to take back her planet he found himself in awe of her determination and spirit. So many of the planetary rulers that he had encountered were merely figure heads that lived off of the work of their people with little care of anything beyond their own personal comfort and survival. Amidala was young and so full of life and fight. He didn't see much hope in her plan but knew that he would willingly lay down his life to spare hers. Rulers with her foresight and purity of heart had to survive if there was any hope for the galaxy. He had very much enjoyed witnessing Master Yoda's enthusiasm as well. Qui-Gon would never have so readily supported such a far fetched scheme, but Yoda embraced it. He had even called it "force inspired". Perhaps his Master had had a vision of the pending battle and knew the outcome? Always in motion is the future. Yoda's words came to him as he made his way back to his quarters.
The constant hum of the hyperdrive coupled with the tiny vibration that it sent into the ship lulled the young Jedi. Yoda had requested that Obi-Wan report to his quarters following the conference with the Queen. He had planned to head there immediately, but instead had opted to drop by his own quarters first. Obi-Wan knew that he needed a few moments of solitude before facing his new Master. He needed to catch his breath and think. So many thoughts raced through his mind.
After wasting a few moments trying to sort through the chaos which was overwhelming his thoughts he decided that meditation was what he needed. He dropped to the cold metal floor of his cabin and began falling into his center. He opened himself up to the force. Suddenly it was there for him, embracing him, guiding him, filling him with peace and clarity. He felt himself sigh and drop deeper.
He loved the force and had so all of his life. He had always felt so connected to his surroundings through the movement and flow of the force. He had been told that the force loved him but no more so than he loved it. So much had happened in the last few hours. His life had been torn apart and begun to rebuild itself and yet the force was still there as it had always been unchanging and secure.
Obi-Wan was pulled from his trance by the sound of tapping coming from somewhere near his body. Opening his eyes he found that he was staring into the face of his new Master. Yoda was gazing patiently at him slowly tapping his stick on the floor of the cabin.
"Master?" Obi-Wan wondered how long he had been meditating. It had felt as if only a few moments had passed but if Yoda had come looking for him it must have been much longer. //Not a good way to start a Master/Padawan relationship.// Obi-Wan thought sullenly.
"Master I'm sorry. I was only trying to find my center. I never intended to keep you waiting." Obi-Wan flustered as he attempted to rise to his feet. Unfortunately his right leg was asleep bringing him back down hard and fast. //Yep more than a few minutes that's for sure// he thought rubbing his leg working out the needles and pins.
"Worry too much you do on what is pleasing to your Master. If finding your center is what the force leads you to do obey it you must." Yoda sat down in front of him. Obi-Wan nodded.
"Unsettled you were by the meeting with Qui-Gon." It was a statement. Obi- Wan lowered his eyes trying to decide how to explain what had happened between him and the man who had been his master.
"Many things were said Master Yoda. Many horrible things were said." He paused shaking his head wishing he could rid himself of his own sarcastic voice and the angry voice of Qui-Gon.
"I lost my temper Master. I was sarcastic and cruel. I can hear my words in my head and they are ugly and disrespectful." His eyes were drilling a hole in the metal flooring. He felt ashamed and weak.
Yoda nodded, "Gave in to your need to hurt him you did. Become thoughtless as he is you could. Good it is that you see this and necessary it is that you release it now. Too often it is that you dwell on your failings. Your emotions easily understood are they but concentrate on your failings you must not. All Jedi fail Masters included."
Obi-Wan felt relief. He couldn't explain it but somehow Yoda's words had lifted his failure in Qui-Gon's room off of him. He did tend to focus on his failings more than his successes. Qui-Gon had often chided him for this flaw. He had made a mistake. He had given in to his need to hurt. He had put his own selfish desire to hurt Qui-Gon before his desire to serve the force and be anchored to the light.
"Dwelling on them are you now." Yoda admonished, "Release and move on you must." "What else happened between you and Qui-Gon?" Yoda asked shifting slightly. He had felt the waves of despair coming from the boy upon his arrival at the ship. He grimaced as he wondered what Qui-Gon had said to hurt Obi-Wan so much. "What say he to you?"
Obi-Wan cleared his throat.
"He admitted that taking me as his learner was a mistake." The admission caught slightly in his throat. He wanted Master Yoda to know that he was strong enough to know the truth. He wanted to be dealt with honestly by his new master and not pitied as he obviously had been by Qui-Gon.
Yoda nodded his head. "Truth you sought but found it you did not. More alike are you and Qui-Gon than you know. Words your enemy during heat of argument they are. Speak without thinking until too late to undo damage. Mistake taking you as learner it was not. Saved him from life of sorrow you did. Taught him to love again you did. Mistake it was not." The older Master spoke with such calm and clarity it was hard for Obi-Wan to doubt anything that the master claimed to know. He felt himself grasping at the hope that perhaps Yoda was right and that Qui-Gon had been wrong.
"What will become of him now?" Obi-Wan asked realizing that hurt or not he still cared for the older man and was concerned for his well being.
Yoda paused tracing a pattern on the floor with his walking stick. After a long moment of reflection he spoke "Hard the future is to see always in motion. Shadowed by darkness Skywalker's path is. Qui-Gon's will be as well if tied to the boy he is."
Obi-Wan felt a cold chill creep up his back that caused the hairs on his neck to stand on end. He shuddered involuntarily. They sat together for a few more moments absorbing all that had occurred during the day. Finally it was Yoda who broke the silence.
"Know I do the strong bond you had with your Master Obi-Wan. Painful it will be to break it. Forge our new bond first then work to end the other bond we will."
Obi-Wan nodded He had known that this was one of the reasons Yoda had wanted to meet with him. They would have to form a bond. Only one training bond was possible at a time. The thought of losing his connection to Qui-Gon made him sad to the deepest point within him. He remembered the moment that he realized that he and his Master had formed the bond. They had been bonded even before they had been Master and Padawan. It had formed so naturally. He took a deep breath and let it out shakily trying to control the emotions that threatened to over take him.
"Master Yoda please don't misunderstand me when I say that the thought of breaking my bond with Qui-Gon is overwhelming to me. I loved my Master with all of my heart and am still reeling from what has occurred. Please don't misunderstand my feelings for him as any sort of slant against your taking me as your Padawan. I realize what you have done for me and I will try to be worthy of your trust." His eyes sought out Yoda's. There was such strength of character there and genuine goodness Yoda felt his heart swell at the sight of it. He marveled at Qui-Gon's cruelty and stupidity at throwing such a worthy young man away.
He smiled at Obi-Wan and nodded. "Open your mind to me you must."
Obi-Wan hesitantly began lowering his shields. He could feel Yoda reach out first to connect with his mind. His presence was so different from Qui- Gon's. Obi-Wan observed that where as Qui-Gon's presence felt steady and strong like a flowing river; Yoda's mind was sharp and strong like the peak of a mountain. Like the river Qui-Gon's mind embraced the harmony of the flow of the force. Yoda's mind saw the right and the wrong of it and the sharp contrast of light and darkness. Obi-Wan felt his mind reaching around that presence searching for a way to link to it and form a bond. Without a bond it would be impossible for him to finish his training. A bond had to be present for there to be a Master/Padawan relationship. As more time passed, he could feel a panic rising within him as he failed to find a way to attach himself to Yoda's presence. He had grown up swimming in the presence of his Master's mind now suddenly he found himself striving to learn how to think like a mountain climber.
/Calm yourself you will my Padawan/ Obi-Wan smiled as he realized that the voice he had heard was Yoda's and that it had been spoken in his mind only. It was the voice of his new master coming through loud and clear. While he had been searching for a way to hook his mind into the mountain peak, Yoda had already found a way to tie into Obi-Wan's mind. The bond was there. It was new and felt a little odd to Obi-Wan but he nonetheless flooded it with waves of relief and gratitude.
Yoda had experienced no difficulty in connecting to his new apprentice's mind. It had occurred naturally for him. He felt at home in the young man's presence which was like a deep rich forest full of life able to appreciate and recognize the shadows and the light as well as fully understanding that the darkness was a reality but life came from the light.
Yoda opened his eyes and met those of his new Padawan. He had not had a padawan since Qui-Gon. He was comforted by the presence of this man's mind. He had seen so much of him and all of it was light. His heart was full and he felt tears collect at the back of his eyes. What a gift to be given so late in his life. The chance to be a teacher again to one so willing to learn.
Obi-Wan gave his new master a tight smile and swallowed hard. It would take some time for them to learn one another and work well together. He doubted that they would ever be as effective as he and Qui-Gon had been. There just wasn't enough time left of his apprenticeship.
Yoda rapped his stick on the younger man's leg playfully as he rose and headed for the door. "Effectiveness not dependent on time but on compatibility it is. Worry not MY padawan the force brought us together. Purpose it has for that I am sure. Late it is. Sleep we must. Tomorrow holds much challenge for us on Naboo. Sensed it I have. " He lowered his voice growing gravely serious, " Sith we will face. Seen it I have. Plan I have for our battle with him. Much we have to discuss tomorrow." One final look back upon his new Padawan and he was gone.
Obi-Wan watched his Master's slow progress as he made his way back to his own cabin. He shuddered at the thought of facing the Sith once more. He was even more concerned facing such a challenge without a certain familiar green blade at his side. He had never actually seen Yoda saber fight, but surely he must be good at it to have lived as long as he has. Obi-Wan felt a surge of protectiveness towards the older master. He would do whatever it took to protect Yoda from being harmed by the Sith. After all Yoda could hardly walk without his cane. Obi-Wan had seen what the Sith was capable of in his attack on Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan shook his head concerned for Yoda's safety. Without Qui-Gon at his side how could he possibly hope to out match a Sith? He forced the vision of the black clad figure from his mind. He suddenly felt very alone.
He slowly undressed and slid down under his blanket. It had been a long day, but tomorrow promised to be even longer. He felt himself wondering where Qui-Gon was as well as how Qui-Gon would feel knowing that his ex- apprentice would be facing the Sith tomorrow. Turning onto his side he swallowed a sob as he realized Qui-Gon would never know and even more painful still was the realization that even if he did somehow find out Master Jinn couldn't care less.
*******
This one was sort of tough to get right. I almost tinkered it to death and then undid all that I had done, then did it again and so on and so on. I really appreciate all the reviews. I never realized how helpful they are. I am trying to take your comments and put them into practice. We have a long way to go so hang in there with me. I think you will like it in the end. The nice thing is that if you don't you can always write your own and make it exactly as you wish. That is what I did. ( Thanks again for the support.
Rating: I wish I knew. I am putting it at PG-13 just because I don't know any better and would rather err on the safe side.
Genre: Drama/Mild Angst
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. They are, were and will always belong to Mr. George Lucas creator of an amazing universe. Not only does this story contain elements of the universe that Mr. Lucas created but also the Alternate Universe (AU) found in a wonderful story called An Untimely Frost by CYNICAL21. I thank Cynical21 for allowing me to reference her work. If you haven't read her story you are really missing out on a wonderful story.
Just to a little guide as to what things mean:
/-/ Bond thought //-// Private thought "-" Speaking aloud
**********************************************************************
The transport station was a busy place. Obi-Wan could hear the various arrivals and departures being announced as individuals rushed in every possible direction in search of their greeting party or transport. He had always loved the transport station. In the past it had always held the promise of another exciting mission shared with his Master or the comfort of returning together to the peace and security of their home. This pendulum, irrespective of which way it would swing touched an essential need within him.
Today he felt numb. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion and yet nothing made sense. He was lost in his thoughts and unable to fully comprehend the activity swirling around him. The pushing crowd caused him to feel irritated as he found himself being buffeted by one being after another. It made him feel invisible and he had had quite enough of that for one day.
Finally wading through to the departure bays he went about clearing the various security checks that were in place surrounding the diplomatic departure area. It didn't take him long to find the slick Nubian ship. Obi-Wan spotted Yoda waiting for him on the ramp of the ship. His expression looked concerned and Obi-Wan checked his shielding. He had felt before that perhaps Yoda had read his thought concerning his need to see Qui-Gon before he left. He certainly didn't want any the devastating scene which had been played out earlier to leak through to him.
It felt odd walking towards the ship without the presence of Qui-Gon leading him. His view of the world had always been seen from over the other man's shoulder. He would have to now get used to following behind a smaller and somewhat slower master. He would have to consciously shorten his strides so as not to out pace Master Yoda. Looking down at Yoda now standing before him on the ramp Obi-Wan was once again flooded by relief that he had not been removed from the temple. He may have lost his master but he still had his dream.
Obi-Wan managed a small smile as his eyes found those of the wizen old master. Without a fully formed bond perhaps Master Yoda wouldn't be able to sense all of the turmoil and sadness surrounding his confrontation with Qui- Gon. He also hoped that he wouldn't be asked to relate all that had transpired. Knowing Master Yoda as he did though Obi-Wan knew that such hopes were in vain. Yoda pursed his lips and turned waiting for Obi-Wan to fall behind him before entering the ship. Yoda's expression had dashed any hopes Obi-Wan had been holding on to that he would be able to keep the evening's humiliations from him. He knew that Yoda was a good and kind Master, but at times being a good master meant forcing a student to face hard truths. Obi-Wan felt his knees weaken slightly at the thought of reliving the truths that even now were embedding themselves into his memory. Once they were settled on the ship Yoda would ask him and he would spill his guts. He dreaded the look of pity the old Master would give him. He was on the verge of being a Jedi Knight, he needed no one's pity.
Once onboard Obi-Wan found himself immediately intercepted by Queen Amidala and her chief of security Captain Panaka.
"Where is Master Jinn?" The Queen asked glancing down at the small green creature standing next to Master Jinn's Padawan. Even though her voice maintained the odd monotone inflection Obi-Wan noted apprehension in her tone.
"Your Highness," Obi-Wan began bowing to her, "May I introduce Master Yoda, honored member of the Jedi Council." Obi-Wan smiled slightly to the Queen trying to alleviate her anxiety. Yoda and the Queen bowed to one another.
The Queen immediately turned back to Obi-Wan with a look of confusion on her face. //Ok// Obi-Wan thought taking a breath to calm himself //Just tell her the facts without all the messy details. She doesn't need those details and I certainly don't want her to have them.// He felt his face flush slightly as he began explaining.
"While Master Jinn and I were making an appearance before the council today circumstances came about that required Master Jinn to leave the temple and Master Yoda volunteered to replace Master Jinn on this escort mission. I can assure you that you are in capable hands and can trust Master Yoda with the same confidence you had in Master Jinn." His voice was soothing and even though he had stumbled in a few places trying to call upon diplomatic language to smooth over the embarrassing situation he had noticed that the concern on the Queen's face had lessened.
She turned to the master before her. "Master Yoda we thank you for your support and protection. I apologize for my earlier doubts concerning your presence." Her voice was modulated and regal.
"Understandable it is young Queen. Much you have on your heart. Learn you will though that appearance and size can be misleading. Help can be found where never you would have sought it." He turned to Obi-Wan. "My Padawan show me to my quarters you will. Much we have to discuss."
Obi-Wan bowed to Yoda and then to the Queen. He felt the Queen's hand upon his arm as he moved to pass her. He looked up and met her eyes. "We are very pleased that you are continuing on with us Obi-Wan Kenobi. It is a comfort to us all. " Blushing slightly he smiled his appreciation to the young queen and proceeded to lead his new master to the cabin that Qui-Gon had occupied on their previous journey.
Amidala was shocked to hear the small Master refer to Obi-Wan as his Padawan. Hadn't he been Master Jinn's Padawan? Did they switch off like that? She had always been led to believe that it was a one on one relationship. One teacher and one student bonded until the student either failed the training or reached knighthood. Something had happened. Under normal circumstances she would have pursued this development until she discovered the truth, but with the lives of her citizens threatened she had other pressing matters.
She settled herself into a commons area and awaited their departure. Her mind ran through what Master Yoda had said to her. There was something there. She could sense it. What was it? He had something about looking for help in the least likely place. She had thought that the Senate would be their best bet for help and they had failed her and her people. The Trade Federation was strong. She would need equal or greater strength to defeat them and take back control of her planet. Perhaps in the absence of physical strength though there was another kind of strength that could save her people.
There was a loud crash behind her that startled her from her thoughts. Her gaze met that of Captain Panaka's. She noted both the amusement and aggrevation in his expression before turning to see what had caused the commotion. Her eyes met with those of Jar Jar Binks as he glanced about in embarrassment desperately trying to pick up various pieces of equipment he had just managed to knock all over the storage compartment. Shaking her head she turned back to her thoughts and an enlightened smile dawned upon her face.
"My Queen?" Sabe inquired confused by Amidala's expression. "What is it?"
Amidala turned to her loyal body guard her smile widening. She glanced back at Jar Jar. "Sometimes it is the obvious that eludes us. Sabe once we are in hyperspace I will need to hold a conference with the Jedi."
"Do you have a question for them your Majesty?" Sabe asked knowing that the Jedi would be curious as to the nature of the conference.
Amidala glanced back once more at Jar Jar as he continued his fumbling, "No Sabe not a question." She paused meeting her confidant's eyes, " The answer, I have the answer." She immediately began visualizing how Jar Jar and rest of the Gungan army that he had mentioned on Coruscant could work together with her security forces to save their planet. The odds were against them but so were the Trade Federation and now the Senate as well. At this point it seemed that she had nothing to lose and the survival of the planet she loved to gain. What they lacked in physical strength they would more than make up for with strength of heart.
The conference with the Queen had gone well. Even though he had more than a few reservations concerning her plan to take back her planet he found himself in awe of her determination and spirit. So many of the planetary rulers that he had encountered were merely figure heads that lived off of the work of their people with little care of anything beyond their own personal comfort and survival. Amidala was young and so full of life and fight. He didn't see much hope in her plan but knew that he would willingly lay down his life to spare hers. Rulers with her foresight and purity of heart had to survive if there was any hope for the galaxy. He had very much enjoyed witnessing Master Yoda's enthusiasm as well. Qui-Gon would never have so readily supported such a far fetched scheme, but Yoda embraced it. He had even called it "force inspired". Perhaps his Master had had a vision of the pending battle and knew the outcome? Always in motion is the future. Yoda's words came to him as he made his way back to his quarters.
The constant hum of the hyperdrive coupled with the tiny vibration that it sent into the ship lulled the young Jedi. Yoda had requested that Obi-Wan report to his quarters following the conference with the Queen. He had planned to head there immediately, but instead had opted to drop by his own quarters first. Obi-Wan knew that he needed a few moments of solitude before facing his new Master. He needed to catch his breath and think. So many thoughts raced through his mind.
After wasting a few moments trying to sort through the chaos which was overwhelming his thoughts he decided that meditation was what he needed. He dropped to the cold metal floor of his cabin and began falling into his center. He opened himself up to the force. Suddenly it was there for him, embracing him, guiding him, filling him with peace and clarity. He felt himself sigh and drop deeper.
He loved the force and had so all of his life. He had always felt so connected to his surroundings through the movement and flow of the force. He had been told that the force loved him but no more so than he loved it. So much had happened in the last few hours. His life had been torn apart and begun to rebuild itself and yet the force was still there as it had always been unchanging and secure.
Obi-Wan was pulled from his trance by the sound of tapping coming from somewhere near his body. Opening his eyes he found that he was staring into the face of his new Master. Yoda was gazing patiently at him slowly tapping his stick on the floor of the cabin.
"Master?" Obi-Wan wondered how long he had been meditating. It had felt as if only a few moments had passed but if Yoda had come looking for him it must have been much longer. //Not a good way to start a Master/Padawan relationship.// Obi-Wan thought sullenly.
"Master I'm sorry. I was only trying to find my center. I never intended to keep you waiting." Obi-Wan flustered as he attempted to rise to his feet. Unfortunately his right leg was asleep bringing him back down hard and fast. //Yep more than a few minutes that's for sure// he thought rubbing his leg working out the needles and pins.
"Worry too much you do on what is pleasing to your Master. If finding your center is what the force leads you to do obey it you must." Yoda sat down in front of him. Obi-Wan nodded.
"Unsettled you were by the meeting with Qui-Gon." It was a statement. Obi- Wan lowered his eyes trying to decide how to explain what had happened between him and the man who had been his master.
"Many things were said Master Yoda. Many horrible things were said." He paused shaking his head wishing he could rid himself of his own sarcastic voice and the angry voice of Qui-Gon.
"I lost my temper Master. I was sarcastic and cruel. I can hear my words in my head and they are ugly and disrespectful." His eyes were drilling a hole in the metal flooring. He felt ashamed and weak.
Yoda nodded, "Gave in to your need to hurt him you did. Become thoughtless as he is you could. Good it is that you see this and necessary it is that you release it now. Too often it is that you dwell on your failings. Your emotions easily understood are they but concentrate on your failings you must not. All Jedi fail Masters included."
Obi-Wan felt relief. He couldn't explain it but somehow Yoda's words had lifted his failure in Qui-Gon's room off of him. He did tend to focus on his failings more than his successes. Qui-Gon had often chided him for this flaw. He had made a mistake. He had given in to his need to hurt. He had put his own selfish desire to hurt Qui-Gon before his desire to serve the force and be anchored to the light.
"Dwelling on them are you now." Yoda admonished, "Release and move on you must." "What else happened between you and Qui-Gon?" Yoda asked shifting slightly. He had felt the waves of despair coming from the boy upon his arrival at the ship. He grimaced as he wondered what Qui-Gon had said to hurt Obi-Wan so much. "What say he to you?"
Obi-Wan cleared his throat.
"He admitted that taking me as his learner was a mistake." The admission caught slightly in his throat. He wanted Master Yoda to know that he was strong enough to know the truth. He wanted to be dealt with honestly by his new master and not pitied as he obviously had been by Qui-Gon.
Yoda nodded his head. "Truth you sought but found it you did not. More alike are you and Qui-Gon than you know. Words your enemy during heat of argument they are. Speak without thinking until too late to undo damage. Mistake taking you as learner it was not. Saved him from life of sorrow you did. Taught him to love again you did. Mistake it was not." The older Master spoke with such calm and clarity it was hard for Obi-Wan to doubt anything that the master claimed to know. He felt himself grasping at the hope that perhaps Yoda was right and that Qui-Gon had been wrong.
"What will become of him now?" Obi-Wan asked realizing that hurt or not he still cared for the older man and was concerned for his well being.
Yoda paused tracing a pattern on the floor with his walking stick. After a long moment of reflection he spoke "Hard the future is to see always in motion. Shadowed by darkness Skywalker's path is. Qui-Gon's will be as well if tied to the boy he is."
Obi-Wan felt a cold chill creep up his back that caused the hairs on his neck to stand on end. He shuddered involuntarily. They sat together for a few more moments absorbing all that had occurred during the day. Finally it was Yoda who broke the silence.
"Know I do the strong bond you had with your Master Obi-Wan. Painful it will be to break it. Forge our new bond first then work to end the other bond we will."
Obi-Wan nodded He had known that this was one of the reasons Yoda had wanted to meet with him. They would have to form a bond. Only one training bond was possible at a time. The thought of losing his connection to Qui-Gon made him sad to the deepest point within him. He remembered the moment that he realized that he and his Master had formed the bond. They had been bonded even before they had been Master and Padawan. It had formed so naturally. He took a deep breath and let it out shakily trying to control the emotions that threatened to over take him.
"Master Yoda please don't misunderstand me when I say that the thought of breaking my bond with Qui-Gon is overwhelming to me. I loved my Master with all of my heart and am still reeling from what has occurred. Please don't misunderstand my feelings for him as any sort of slant against your taking me as your Padawan. I realize what you have done for me and I will try to be worthy of your trust." His eyes sought out Yoda's. There was such strength of character there and genuine goodness Yoda felt his heart swell at the sight of it. He marveled at Qui-Gon's cruelty and stupidity at throwing such a worthy young man away.
He smiled at Obi-Wan and nodded. "Open your mind to me you must."
Obi-Wan hesitantly began lowering his shields. He could feel Yoda reach out first to connect with his mind. His presence was so different from Qui- Gon's. Obi-Wan observed that where as Qui-Gon's presence felt steady and strong like a flowing river; Yoda's mind was sharp and strong like the peak of a mountain. Like the river Qui-Gon's mind embraced the harmony of the flow of the force. Yoda's mind saw the right and the wrong of it and the sharp contrast of light and darkness. Obi-Wan felt his mind reaching around that presence searching for a way to link to it and form a bond. Without a bond it would be impossible for him to finish his training. A bond had to be present for there to be a Master/Padawan relationship. As more time passed, he could feel a panic rising within him as he failed to find a way to attach himself to Yoda's presence. He had grown up swimming in the presence of his Master's mind now suddenly he found himself striving to learn how to think like a mountain climber.
/Calm yourself you will my Padawan/ Obi-Wan smiled as he realized that the voice he had heard was Yoda's and that it had been spoken in his mind only. It was the voice of his new master coming through loud and clear. While he had been searching for a way to hook his mind into the mountain peak, Yoda had already found a way to tie into Obi-Wan's mind. The bond was there. It was new and felt a little odd to Obi-Wan but he nonetheless flooded it with waves of relief and gratitude.
Yoda had experienced no difficulty in connecting to his new apprentice's mind. It had occurred naturally for him. He felt at home in the young man's presence which was like a deep rich forest full of life able to appreciate and recognize the shadows and the light as well as fully understanding that the darkness was a reality but life came from the light.
Yoda opened his eyes and met those of his new Padawan. He had not had a padawan since Qui-Gon. He was comforted by the presence of this man's mind. He had seen so much of him and all of it was light. His heart was full and he felt tears collect at the back of his eyes. What a gift to be given so late in his life. The chance to be a teacher again to one so willing to learn.
Obi-Wan gave his new master a tight smile and swallowed hard. It would take some time for them to learn one another and work well together. He doubted that they would ever be as effective as he and Qui-Gon had been. There just wasn't enough time left of his apprenticeship.
Yoda rapped his stick on the younger man's leg playfully as he rose and headed for the door. "Effectiveness not dependent on time but on compatibility it is. Worry not MY padawan the force brought us together. Purpose it has for that I am sure. Late it is. Sleep we must. Tomorrow holds much challenge for us on Naboo. Sensed it I have. " He lowered his voice growing gravely serious, " Sith we will face. Seen it I have. Plan I have for our battle with him. Much we have to discuss tomorrow." One final look back upon his new Padawan and he was gone.
Obi-Wan watched his Master's slow progress as he made his way back to his own cabin. He shuddered at the thought of facing the Sith once more. He was even more concerned facing such a challenge without a certain familiar green blade at his side. He had never actually seen Yoda saber fight, but surely he must be good at it to have lived as long as he has. Obi-Wan felt a surge of protectiveness towards the older master. He would do whatever it took to protect Yoda from being harmed by the Sith. After all Yoda could hardly walk without his cane. Obi-Wan had seen what the Sith was capable of in his attack on Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan shook his head concerned for Yoda's safety. Without Qui-Gon at his side how could he possibly hope to out match a Sith? He forced the vision of the black clad figure from his mind. He suddenly felt very alone.
He slowly undressed and slid down under his blanket. It had been a long day, but tomorrow promised to be even longer. He felt himself wondering where Qui-Gon was as well as how Qui-Gon would feel knowing that his ex- apprentice would be facing the Sith tomorrow. Turning onto his side he swallowed a sob as he realized Qui-Gon would never know and even more painful still was the realization that even if he did somehow find out Master Jinn couldn't care less.
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This one was sort of tough to get right. I almost tinkered it to death and then undid all that I had done, then did it again and so on and so on. I really appreciate all the reviews. I never realized how helpful they are. I am trying to take your comments and put them into practice. We have a long way to go so hang in there with me. I think you will like it in the end. The nice thing is that if you don't you can always write your own and make it exactly as you wish. That is what I did. ( Thanks again for the support.