Chapter Nineteen: Rowena's Story

Voldemort raised his wand, and the next thing I knew we were in a dark dungeon.

"Okay, Voldie," I said. "You'd better start explaining."

"Or else you'll do...what." It was Lucius Malfoy.

"No, Malfoy, Weasley has promised an explanation, and one will be given," said Voldemort. He looked at me. "Consider this your last request."

He began his story.

"When Rowena Ravenclaw was in a trance, at first there were no students there with her. The hut that belongs to Hagrid was originally built for her use.

"One day, as she spoke of her prophecies, a young Muggle man, lost in the Forbidden Forest, heard her. Her voice intrigued him; he followed the sound. When he knocked on the door of the hut, she came out of the trance and opened the door. 'Hello,' she said. 'I've just foretold that we are going to become lovers in the next fifteen seconds.'"
There was a crash coming from the window. It was the book of prophecies. It flew at me and opened.

I read out loud, "It would have been sooner, but I needed at least fifteen seconds to take off my girdle. Hello, Voldemort, you old idiot. Don't try to read this, or you'll be cursed. Only people called Rowling, Granger, Potter, Weasley, Lupin, Black, and Riddle are allowed to read it. And as I recall, you haven't been a Riddle since you were eighteen."

"May I continue?" asked Voldemort, irked.

"Yes."

"And I will find a way to read that book."

"My lord, I advise against it," said Malfoy. "It is too dangerous."

"I find your lack of faith disturbing," said Voldemort.

Hermione snorted.

"What is it, you foolish Mudblood girl?" asked Voldmort, glaring.

"Nothing....Darth."

"WHAT IS IT!?"

"You just quoted Darth Vader.

"WHO?"

"Darth Vader."

No reaction.

"Darth Vader...he's in Star Wars. It's a Muggle movie. The Muggles compare you to him a lot. It's quite interesting, actually. Both of you lost your mothers young, both of you fight against a scarred bloke who has a friend with a name ending in an ahn sound and another friend who's a girl with distinctive hair - "

"SILENCE!"

"Well, you asked."

That was too much for Fred and George. They burst out laughing.

"Will everyone PLEASE shut up!"

"Oh, he said please. Lovely manners, Voldie," said Ron.

Voldemort glared. "Ooh, he's GLARING," said Ginny. "He's got nothing on our Sirius, though. If looks could kill - "

"I'M TRYING TO TELL A STORY HERE!"

"All right, quiet down," I said. "I did ask for an explanation."

"All RIGHT! Here's the long and short of it. They shag. She conceives. They get married. Slytherin freaks out because the man's a Muggle. The kid is born. It's a girl. She grows up. She's a Muggle. Her mum foretells that the girls one-hundreth descendant will be the greatest wizard or witch in the world, if taught by the Heir of Slytherin. Therefore, I want the kid to train. Any questions?"

"I've got one," said Harry. "When you were in the back of Quirrell's head, did his hair make your face itch?"

Voldemort tried and tried, but he knew no magic powerful enough to get us to stop laughing.